Saturday, October 04, 2008


I was going to do this from another angle but I decided to come at it from this one. A healthy happy marriage is a good look!

There I said it and I mean it what you want to say about it? I know the current sentiment is that marriage is outdated, for the birds, and just not en-vogue in some circles but smart people, people with sense they're getting married! Case in point even though she married the love of my life Beyonce AKA Mrs. Carter-Knowles married Shawn Corey Carter because it's a good look. I'm sure there is love in there some where and by itself her portfolio is nice but together their portfolio's combined equal power brokers. It's just smart business at the end of the day his money plus her money even in a weak economy they still sitting some where on reserves like what's a recession??? Before they even exchanged vows they bought property together and most often when the economy is good property equals reserved money because of the equity that you can pull out of your house when you need to.

Back on course any person in their right mind should know that two incomes is always better than one, a helpmate is always better than being solo, and having someone to come home to consistently with the same last name as yours who has some responsibility for being there verses a boyfriend girlfriend type who really can walk away without any legal recourse or a second thought because there is no real investment there. Even despite being together for more than a couple years, a few I love yous, swapping DNA on a regular basis, but still no legal ties that to me equals not a good look but that is my opinion.

What I can't ever figure out is why you would shack up all that time playing house but not take that extra step to make it official? The common consensus is always that marriage would destroy a shacking couples bliss and some how change the dynamics of the relationship now how can legitimizing something tear up what you have already been playing at? My next question then becomes why is suddenly getting married like a noose around the neck of a person who is already shacking up? It's just not logical, but somethings I will never understand. Some people hate the institution of marriage like it did something to them. Maybe they saw their parents marriage as a battleground or worst, but the funny thing about it is that I have watched my parents marriage and if you knew them you would know that it hasn't been any type of cakewalk by a long shot and in spite of everything they are still together and even with all that they have went through I still see marriage as a wonderful thing.

I once worked with a co-worker who had a bunch of kids and was with her dude shacking for years in fact they were now considered common law married but he refused to marry her in a on paper exchange last name give me a ring type deal. He told her that he didn't need a piece of paper to be with her and in a sense he was right he had been leasing the farm way to long. The sad part about it is she wanted to get married but she couldn't convince her dude and in turn she was way too steeped in the relationship plus with all her kids she was stuck and he knew it so marriage to him was no big deal she had sold her options and was now stuck. My heart went out to her truly but you get what you allow, if you think you only worth a shack up then you will get a shack up type arrangement, if you're good enough to knock up and shack with why aren't you good enough to carry his last name and be the Mrs?

I know Marriage is hard work it needs constant tending, love, care, communication, nurturing, sharing, listening to each other, and a good degree of unselfishness, I'm not foolish to think that it is easy but nothing worth having is ever easy. I think that raising your children in a two parent household is a good look, it provides a security for children even if you are dirt poor. Just knowing that mommy and daddy are there even if nothing else is, is a type of security you just can't duplicate.

No disrespect to the single mothers and fathers who aren't married like I said this is my opinion to me it just makes sense but I see things different from others. My opinions don't make me popular but it's cool aliens always catch hell for being different. Despite the current anti-marriage sentiment amongst my contemporaries the "stars" are doing it. Some keep doing it but a shining example of great black in the media couples is none other than our future first lady Michelle Obama and her husband President Obama. Even when under tremendous media pressure you can see the love in their marriage the beauty in their union and the partnership that they share. Another couple that manages to get it right is defiantly Jada and Will Smith I don't care how they work the dynamics of their relationship out they still manage to make it work even in the industry that they are in which eats couples up like breath mints. Even Usher and Tameka, and lets not forget Nick and Mimi.

The funny part is homosexual couples are fighting for and desperately wanting the right to call their unions marriages and heterosexuals are taking for granted not even caring about the institution of marriage at all anymore if that isn't irony then I don't know what is. Maybe in the next 20 years homosexuals will be calling their unions marriage and heterosexuals won't be getting married at all. That's a bleak outlook for the future of America in my opinion, but it is what it is.