HAVING A DEEP IN MY FEELINGS MOMENT, GETTING SHIT OUT MY SYSTEM

I don't know how many of you have heard the expression "deep in my feelings" it usually means that you're feeling overly agitated, annoyed, pissed off, etc usually its associated with being overly emotional and attached to a situation that you really shouldn't be getting overly emotional about/over and its usually used in a negative kind of way. Dudes are especially fond of telling women (just a little example to illustrate my point) "damn girl why you all deep in yo feelings over the shit? I don't even know that girl" end example.

However there are some things that just annoy the dog shit out of me but again the expression "if you want to make GOD laugh tell him about YOUR plans" springs to mind. Because you can certainly want to try and intergret someone into your life you can plan on wanting them to be that special person, or plan on them sticking around however that might not always work out in your favor and it never seems to work out in mines especially since the way a person acts, thinks, and feels is out of our control some things are just out of our hands. With that said I want to talk about some shit that even though its out of my hands STILL annoys the dog shit out of me.

1. When you're talking to a dude he either, talks to you sometimes or partially and only when you hit him up first BUT he always in a chat room, always on messenger, and always some where doing something else but holding a conversation with you. It's like okay already if you not feeling me say so stop trying to placate my feelings every time we talk just be a man about it if it ain't working between us and you not feeling it then it's just not going to work out I get that I can appreciate that if you tell me that, in other words lets have some clarity and closure on the situation don't just leave without formerly severing ties that shit is just rude and annoying to say the least.

2. When someone calls you, you miss the call you go to call them back and they don't answer the phone, you text them they still don't answer really you went to sleep or you're so deep in the cut like that? Why did you even call then hell!

3. When a person wants to stop talking to you and they just start to ignore you instead of just flat out telling you...what are we 12? You can't say you don't want to be bothered anymore I'm not a stalker like that I can handle being told to get lost.

4. When you meet a guy on a social networking site and in every other comment on his page is a chick that is laying claim to him in more than one of his pictures and its the same chick over and over, yea red flag.

5. When a dude just up and disappear and shit and you can't find their asses in the daytime with a flashlight.

6. When you tell a dude up front look these are my expectations and they act like they will at least try and meet them and they don't even half ass attempt to hit the mark smh GTFO* dude.

7. When all you ask for is a little bit of attention, some communication, and some effort on their part and they just give you their ass to kiss.

8. Last but certainly not least DO NOT HAVE ME PUT YOU IN THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS CALLING LIST if your punk ass isn't planning on staying around and shit really dude come the fuck on someone else could have been in that spot you wasting my resources smh.

So yes I was deep in my feelings this shit was bugging me sticking me like a thorn and I had to get it out of my system. The purpose of getting things out of your system like moving your bowels is so that the shit in your system won't weigh you down and make your system toxic giving you a shitty outlook and causing you to frown more than you would smile so yes I have gotten that shit out of my system and hopefully I will be right as rain once again or until I get annoyed again but thanks for reading and if you can identify then leave me your pet peeves in the comments.



*GTFO = GET THE FUCK ON, as is in get the fuck on up the road.

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HAVING A DEEP IN MY FEELINGS MOMENT, GETTING SHIT OUT MY SYSTEM

LOVE AND LEMON WATER

(this song sums it all up perfectly)

It's officially Febuary and with that comes a couple of things a shorter month, black history month which is practically forgotten and that auspicious day where everyone either gets freaked out, giddy, or totally hate it, yep that's right that time of the year again where you will be inundated with messages of love ad nauseum. As I've gotten older and also through the years I have never ever had a boyfriend or even someone I was "talking" too coincide with feb 14th divine intervention or the bigger question that I keep coming back to in my mind is maybe I am just not meant to be with anyone AT ALL!

Hell with all the "statistics" about the black woman and marriage maybe I am just supposed to ride this life out unattached and childless statistically speaking that is what the numbers say right? I mean we all know the saying "If you want to make GOD laugh tell him about YOUR plans" maybe I am just one of those people who aren't meant to be boo'ed up. When people ask me why I'm single so many reasons often come to mind but the basic bottom line is I really just don't think that there is a He for me. I'm not sad when I type that and I'm not forlorn not by a long shot it's just one of those things that I have suspected for awhile and I am just acutely aware of it. I haven't met a guy yet that has stuck some where around meeting them and trying to get to know them they just simply wander off or they suck with follow through or they just don't have that umph that makes me want to even remotely give them a chance.

(this song well the chorus always seems to play in my head for whatever reason and I have watched this video many times but I never noticed Usher in it for whatever reason until just today funny.)

I'm not even picky nor remotely shallow when having interest for a guy but I know what will and what won't work for me and a lot of what passes for dating these days is simple and utter bullshit I do come with expectations and standards, and I also know that the 2010 guy hates the words expectations, communication, honesty, loyalty, and waiting so you can see the potential problems one might run into in the dating spectrum if that is part of your dating expectations. Not everyone is going to get to fall in love, meet the guy/girl of their dreams, have the wedding, the white picket fence with the two kids in the yard, and the dog and cat. I wish that society didn't place the value of a black women so low and I wished that black men didn't either but what can you do when given lemons make lemonade but sometimes there just won't be any sugar to take the bitter away... so you have to make do with just lemon water sometimes it is what it is and what it will be.

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LOVE AND LEMON WATER

PRIMING THE PUMP, GETTING THE HEART TO BEAT

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
--Lao Tzu

If he is the first thing you think of when you wake up,
the only thing you think of when you're awake,
and the last thing you think of before you go to bed,
then he is really somebody special.

" Our love must not be a thing of words and fine talk. It must be a thing of action and sincerity. "
~ I John 3:18

As a Rose absorbs the nutrients it feeds on and as it thrives to see the sun as it must to survive...... the Rose becomes more beautiful and in turn will provide sunshine to those who can behold it's beauty. Fortunate is the Man who can see the Rose within a Woman. Blessed is the man who this Woman holds to be her nutrient, her sunshine.
Art Denton



Immature love says "I love you because I need you." Mature love says "I need you because I love you."
- Erich Fromm

A woman who does not trust love will never know the exquisite security of giving herself.
~Maya Angelou

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
Theodore M Hesburgh

"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."
James Baldwin



Love is strong yet delicate.It can be broken.To truly love is to understand this.To be in love is to respect this.
Stephen Packer

All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere and somehow there is someone searching for us.
The Wonder Years

I have learned not to worry about love; But to honor its coming with all my heart.
Alice Walker

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same.
Flavia Weedn

Between husband and wife there should be no secrets from one another. I have a very high opinion of the marriage tie. I hold that husband and wife merge in each other. They are one in two or two in one.
Mahatma Gandhi

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PRIMING THE PUMP, GETTING THE HEART TO BEAT

DEAR "TALENTED 10th" STFU ALREADY, THANKS

One of the things that irritate and chaps my hide is the fraction of black folks that have went to college but use their degrees and over inflated sense of knowledge to bash ones who weren't so fortunate to do the same over the head with their education, titles, and inflated self importance. Look I get it you're extremely proud you're one of the talented 10th and that you pulled yourself up by your bootstraps and no one made you but yourself and yada yada yada. That is wonderful but just because you have a piece of paper that states you went to someones college/university for X amount of years doesn't really mean shit in the grand scheme of things. I'm not saying that education is not important quite the opposite knowledge is power but the shitty ass "I'm greater than you attitude" that comes with it needs to be put on a shelf some where.

In my opinion you catch more flies with honey, not vinegar if you are constantly lamenting the fact that you hate every movie that Tyler Perry makes but you love watching Martin you're a hypocrite Martin made money by playing multiple characters two of whom where women so GTFOH with that backwards ass logic. If you went to see Norbit and laughed at every part of that movie again you are a hypocrite and you really need to stop. Where is it written that black people can only move in one lane? Why is it every time something comes out that is classified as "urban" then the black intelligentsia want to protest and march in the streets? Why is it we even have to have this conversation repeatedly? If you don't like something then damnit don't spend your money on it. Just like if there was a movie that came out about some upwardly mobile stick in their asses black people who go to Martha's Vineyard and jet set around the world while looking down on the uneducated masses I wouldn't spend my money to see that because that doesn't interest me at all.

Why is it that white people can make just bullshit movies and no one says a thing. Movies that don't even have a point or make a great deal of sense but many will flock in droves to see it even the black intelligentsia will see the movies and just be in rapture over the crap lauding it as the funniest thing they have ever seen this year, and some of that shit is just awful, retarded and not funny at all. You don't see the Harvard educated white folks protesting the stupid movies their counterparts make, you don't see them blinking an eye nor wasting time speaking on it they roll with the punches and just go with the flow. They don't spend hours and expound massive amounts of energy complaining about dumb movies that their fellow brethren have made it doesn't turn into a big discussion about the merit of film making and the characters used to get a point across.

So why is it that black "urban" literature "urban" movies and "urban" television gets bashed to death by the black intelligentsia? if you don't like it don't support it, further more what are you doing to combat it and change it besides shitting all over it and whining about it? Not everyone sees things in the same way it takes diverse avenues sometimes to get a point across. Besides no one likes to be talked down too nor addressed as if they are children. Everyone has their own perceptions so why bash someone else who is trying to make a living just because you don't agree with it doesn't mean it is not a worthy contribution to the world. You have to have rain in order to appreciate sunshine right? So stop bashing things you don't like use that energy in a constructive manner why not help those you look down upon because not everyone has a set of bootstraps some don't even have boots!

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DEAR "TALENTED 10th" STFU ALREADY, THANKS

LOVE ROLLERCOASTER, ENJOY THE RIDE

I was talking to a friend and she was asking me about being in love, because she was feeling like she was IN love with someone that she just met at the end of last month she was feeling like it was too soon to have those type of feelings for a person she just met. I said to her ya know we get in our own way sometimes. We are human and we have emotions and before we got all caught up in the way of how it is now.

Times used to be much simpler, people used to connect on deeper levels faster and there were less distractions and obstructions to real genuine feelings and you would have no choice but to listen to what your heart and mind were telling you. In this day and age we are so distracted by all the shit we have in our lives, that feelings, listening to your heart syncing it up with your mind has gone out the window. All we care about now is syncing up our computers to our phones and other various applications and etc. We've put our emotions on the back burner and let everything else fall by the wayside. We've traded in our emotional intelligence for artificial intelligence and pseudo relations with each other. We will FACEBOOK each other, TWITTER each other, MYSPACE, FRIENDSTER, LINKEDIN, EMAIL, TEXT, SKYPE each other before we pick up the phone, visit, or meet each other. The internet is a wonderful tool for meeting people that you otherwise would have never even known about but eventually for it to be taken to a level where it can progress there has to be physical contact and interaction. Its all great that we can reach each other by all these different means but if you not planning on buying tickets or planning to meet then its all for nil...but I digress.

I am quite aware that some people might have their own agendas and some people are malicious with harmful intent and there are those that like to prey on the weak and the weak minded. But for all intents and purposes I'm not addressing those people I'm talking about when you meet the person that you just vibe with instantly, and they come in from out of the blue and from the time you meet them its like everything is instant and simple and just falls into place. They are the people you spend all your time thinking about, the ones that make you smile just by hearing their name, the ones that make you blush because you remember something they said that made your heart beat faster or made your body temperature spike, or when you think about them and in the very next few miutes they call you, I know it might be what many of the jaded refer to as the honeymoon stage when everything is euphoric, shiney and brand new when the rose tinted glasses are firmly in place but what if that is where it syncs for you and that person and you are able to ride it out without putting the kibosh on it before its time?

What if that honeymoon stage is the stage that takes you to the happily enough ever after? I think sometimes we get so caught up in the "what is supposed to be" vs what we should just let happen, sometimes you just have to ride shit out and see where it takes you, just enjoy the journey for what it's worth and appreciate the experience so if it doesn't pan out you can always look back and say but I loved, was loved, and it felt good to be loved that my friends is part of the journey of life so take the sweets when you can, because the bitter is always right around the corner waiting to knock you for a loop... Common said it best when he said "it doesn't take all day to recognize sunshine" and it doesn't. True some people come in our lives and they are just passing through, they are there to take us to the next level and they are there to impart something that we need at the time, so as long as it doesn't hurt roll with it enjoy the ride and be gracias when its time to get off! It's all trial and error, use your best judgement, listen to your inner voice, and trust your instincts. Listen to your inner warning system and if all else fails just leap and if it turns out that you shouldn't have guess what you learned something for next time!

Now in no way shape or form am I advocating having children with someone you barely know, indulging in destructive behaviors, or telling you to quit your job and relocate to a city to be with someone that you just met, I'm saying take the ride, weight the options, think it through and if you feel like you want to take the risk then DO IT! As long as you can deal with each decision made then do you, you are the only person who has to deal with the outcome.

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LOVE ROLLERCOASTER, ENJOY THE RIDE

LEGION, MY THOUGHTS

So I saw the movie Legion and these are my thoughts on it.

First and foremost its not a horror movie unless you think apocalyptic killer angels sent from heaven to exterminate the human population is horror then yea feel free to call it that. This movie is one of those movies that shows you the juiciest bits in the trailers the "scare drama" to get the butts in the seats but really this movie is one to make you ponder mans existence and just what the hell we are doing in this day and age and with out time here on earth. I call it a big ole wake the hell up P.S.A someone in Hollyweird is trying to spread the gospel one movie at a time. I don't have a problem with it as with everything you aren't forced to see this movie but don't go looking for a scare feast because this movie is not that. Of course Tyrese and Charles S Dutton don't make it out alive but that is not a shocker now is it!



The most memorable line from the movie for me is when the Archangel Michale tell's Gabriel, "I am giving HIM what he needs, and you are giving HIM what he asked for." I paraphrased the line of course but that line for some reason just stuck with me. I don't have any strong feelings about this movie most likely I will get it on DVD and watch it again and just really absorb what it is the movie is truly trying to convey but thats what I do with everything. Anywho I can't make a recommendation about this movie if you feel compelled to see it listen to your inner voice the movie is calling you for a reason other than that...

That's it, that's all I got for you enjoy your weekend and don't cupcake too tough in this rain remember things ALWAYS look different in the sunlight!

Photos courtesy of COLLIDER.COM

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LEGION, MY THOUGHTS

R.I.P TEDDY PENDERGRASS THANK YOU FOR REAL MUSIC

So there has been just some terrible shit happening lately first the devastating earthquake in Haiti and then Teddy Pendergrass died last night, sigh. For information on helping Haiti you can check out REDCROSS.ORG or text 90999 from your cellphone and you will be billed 10.00 by your cellphone provider and that 10.00 will go to the redcross Haiti fund. You can also keep abreast of the relief efforts and what not by following the Redcrosses twitter REDCROSS TWITTER There are also millions of other resources to help Aid Haiti in this troublesome time please Google for the nearest available resource and options.



Now I want to talk about a man that was musically dear to my heart, Mr. Turn the lights off himself, Teddy Pendergrass. The man's voice was just big vocally he could sing the house down he had a rough tenderness to his voice that just made you sit up and take notice from his first note down to the last. I remember watching him and Stephanie Mills in the play your arms are to short to box with God they were both brilliant and magnificent in that play.

There will never be another Teddy Pendergrass many will try but none will even come close. Read about Teddy P Here I'm going to include in this post some of my favorite songs (bonus thank you youtubers) actual footage of Teddy in his heyday preforming at his concert so enjoy.









Now this song right here is my absolute favorite from the first refrains of the song down to the last note. Listen to it buy it from itunes and get some candles and some brown liquor and just meditate on the words, the tone, and just the very essence of the song. Listen to the words let them massage your soul appreciate real music cause its slowly dying.

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R.I.P TEDDY PENDERGRASS THANK YOU FOR REAL MUSIC

HEAT FOR YOUR FEET SNEAKERS

So for this new year I'm going to be switching it up a bit and bringing you what I think are some fly kicks. I love sneakers if I could buy sneakers all day everyday I would, and I would need a whole other closet just for sneakers alone (stares off into space a sneaker closet yummy) anyway I know some people don't get sneaker fiends but its like always getting head from a true head doc that dude/chick that hits all the right spots and makes you feel good all the time, that is the sneaker fiend high. When you find a pair of sneaks that speaks to your personal style and just moves you its like a burst of endorphins that go off in your head. Its the same way for women who love purses and handbags. So with that said I'm kicking this post off with some sneakers I think would look great in your closet this season.

I'm a big fan of Nike, high tops, and colors, but my main staple colors are blacks with embellishments ie (black & gold, black & silver etc) I like splashy colors but I feel some way about rocking bright bright colors if you got the attitude to pull it off do it. I like to break rules especially when it comes to things I like especially since no one has a nickel in the dime I spend meaning if you ain't paying then you have no say!

All shoes can be found and purchased on ZAPPOS if you must buy shoes please buy from them they will give you an excellent customer service experience and you don't have to worry about all those bitches ass shipping and handling fees that other companies charge you.

Rule of Thumb: these sneaks are my personal choices they just might not float your boot which is fine do you, always check the reviews of shoes, read descriptions and if you buy some sneaks on my recommendation I can not be held responsible for your choices I recommend them because I like the style of the shoe but I haven't walked a mile in none of these shoes unless other wise indicated so purchase at your own risk. Also with any shoe they may need to be broken in, I'd advise you to walk around these shoes in your house to see how they feel for at least up to 30 minutes to see how they feel. Use sense when purchasing shoes if you feel an area in your shoes that you just don't think will get any better then return the shoes and get your money back and last but not least all these shoes that I have posted today come in at least one or more color ways so it is worth your time to head over to Zappos and check these shoes out.

I am doing this on my own volition Zappos is not endorsing me nor do I have a deal with them in any way shape or form.

All these shoes are on my I want these list especially the black ones and the pink and white Adidas.

I Like:

Zappos.com">
Dunk Low 6.0 by NikeZappos.com - Powered by Service" style="border: medium none ; margin: 10px 0pt; padding: 0pt; float: none; display: inline; width: 88px; height: 43px;">

I Like:

adidas Originals at Zappos.com">
Last Track Mid by adidas OriginalsZappos.com - Powered by Service" style="border: medium none ; margin: 10px 0pt; padding: 0pt; float: none; display: inline; width: 88px; height: 43px;">

I Like:

Sofico Fresh Mid by Fila at Zappos.com">
Sofico Fresh Mid by FilaZappos.com - Powered by Service" style="border: medium none ; margin: 10px 0pt; padding: 0pt; float: none; display: inline; width: 88px; height: 43px;">

I Like:

Zappos.com">
Air Scandal Mid by NikeZappos.com - Powered by Service" style="border: medium none ; margin: 10px 0pt; padding: 0pt; float: none; display: inline; width: 88px; height: 43px;">

I Like:

Zappos.com">
Sweet Classic Leather by NikeZappos.com - Powered by Service" style="border: medium none ; margin: 10px 0pt; padding: 0pt; float: none; display: inline; width: 88px; height: 43px;">

I Like:

Superstar 2 W by adidas Originals

I Like:

Sweet Classic Leather by Nike

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HEAT FOR YOUR FEET SNEAKERS

TAKING OTHER CLOTHING AVENUES

(I decided to use a picture of fred flintstone because my dad claims I have fred flintstone feet, but he should know since thanks to him and my mom whom both have wide feet I have wide feet as well so thanks mom and dad for the curse of the flintstone feet)

Once again I have a complaint about a retailer whom claims that they cater to a wide width foot customer and once again I have found that not to be the case. This time the retailer Avenue has the misfortune of being in the spotlight of shame, not only for blatantly selling boots that are clearly not wide width friendly but for there shoddy return policies as well. Why is that retailers that cater to a plus sized demographic feel it is perfectly okay to sell merchandise that is substandard and sub-par at best? Why is it I am the only one on the planet that is bothered by this?

You can call it what you want but unless you are like me who is genetically wired to have wide feet then you simply don't understand where I am coming from. Men shoes are generally made wider but women clothes and shoes are always cut smaller and narrower. Which makes it triple hard for me to find decent shoes in my width that are comfortable, and look decent on my feet. If I knew how to make shoes I would put all these retailers to shame by making fashionable, comfortable, sexy, truly wide width shoes. Why do I have to pay an arm and a leg for shoes that may or may not fit me and then lose tons of money on shipping and handling. Its like being double screwed I wished someone in retail would get it and change the shoe game up. I guess my pleas are falling on deaf ears and no one understands my issue but myself. I am more than frustrated and fed up with retailers and their funky shoe issues. But everything has a lesson in it unfortunately this narrows the places I have to shop at shoe wise and I would advise any woman that shops at the avenue online DO NOT PURCHASE ANYTHING ONLINE FROM THEM you will lose your shipping and handling fees and you will be charged a shipping fee to return your items as well how is that customer satisfaction?

I am so disgusted and ill over losing the little bit of many I do have on these boots which I only ordered because they were on sale but I paid for express shipping and handling to be able to get them before Christmas not only do I lose shipping and handling but they are going to charge me a fee to send them back as well, maybe its just me but that doesn't sound right nor does that feel like a good business practice to me. Not only were these boots clearly not wide width but they also are costing me money to ship them back and forth its like I can't win for losing. Maybe I should just go bare foot then I won't have to worry about trying to find any wide width shoe.

I'm disgusted but I am resilient I will try and not let it put a damper on my holidays which wasn't shaping up to be that bright any damn way. I Really feel like decking someone in their fa-la-la-la so the present I bought for myself turned out to be a lump of coal after all. I could have spent that money on something greater or someone else. I feel some kind of way about this little incident. I hope everyone else's holidays goes well cause this shit right here is for the birds.

To see the boots and the reviews for them to know what I'm talking about they shall be under this post so scroll down if you're interested. I won't even try and start a campaign because people don't care until it happens to them but I just thought I would mention it and hopefully it won't happen to someone else as well.

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TAKING OTHER CLOTHING AVENUES

My Review of Sea Platform Boot (Wide Width)

Originally submitted at Avenue.com

These sleek snake embossed sueded boots have trendy platform styling that makes walking a breeze!

• Man made upper. Side zip closure. Platform lift. Faux stacked heel. Imported.
• Cloudwalkers by Avenue. Cloud Heel Strike Pad® Flexible non-slip sole.

Sea Platform Boot (Wide Width)

Don't buy these if you have a wide foot

By A FORMER CUSTOMER from Corona, Ca on 12/23/2009

 

1out of 5

Sizing: Feels full size too small

Width: Feels too narrow

Pros: Don't buy

Cons: Poor Quality

Best Uses: NONE

Describe Yourself: Trendy, Stylish, High-end shopper

First complaint they did not fit AT ALL I couldn't even get my foot in these boots and they say they are wide width, I highly doubt it. Second complaint I spent extra money to receive these boots before christmas as a present to myself but I called the company and they WILL not be refunding my express shipping charges PLUS I have to pay to send them back to the company, Third Complaint I am not able to return these shoes back to the retail store which means I have to wait 3-4weeks for them to return the money I spent on these boots back to me. I am utterly disappointed and angry and this has really put a damper on my mood this evening I used to like shopping at the avenue but after this I am no longer a customer. This is beyond shoddy retail practices. I hope the ladies with truly wide feet and wide calves did not spend any money on purchasing these boots because you will be angry and disappointed like I was.

(legalese)

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My Review of Sea Platform Boot (Wide Width)