Ethnic pride may boost African-American teens' mental health

Most adolescents who belong to an ethnic minority group wrestle not only with their self-esteem (like most teens), but also with identity issues unique to their ethnic group, such as dealing with social stigma. A new study tells us that young people's ethnic pride may affect their mental health.

November 13, 2009
SOURCE OF STORY: ORIGINAL ARTICLE

The study, carried out by researchers at Northwestern University, Loyola University Chicago, and Walden University, appears in the November/December 2009 issue of the journal .

The researchers studied more than 250 African American youths from urban, low-income families in an effort to assess the unique effects of racial identity and self esteem on . They found that when young people's feelings of ethnic pride rose between 7th and 8th grades, their mental health also improved over that period, regardless of their self-esteem. Even for those with low self-esteem, the investigators found, a sense of pride in their ethnic group served as a buffer to some mental health problems. Racial identity was a stronger buffer against symptoms of depression for boys than for girls.

"These findings imply that ethnic pride is important to African American adolescents' mental health for other reasons than it simply makes them feel better about themselves as individuals," according to Jelani Mandara, associate professor of human development and social policy at Northwestern University, who was the study's lead author. "The findings also imply that ethnic pride may be as important as self-esteem to the mental health of African American . Parents, schools, and therapists should expose young people to material and environments that help foster a sense of ethnic pride."

More information: Child Development, Vol. 80, Issue 6, The Effects of Changes in Racial Identity and Self-Esteem on Changes in African American Adolescents' Mental Health by Mandara, J (Northwestern University), Gaylord-Harden, NK, and Richards, MH (Loyola University Chicago), and Ragsdale, BL (Walden University).



So let me ask you all a question...who didn't know this?I hate the fact that for some black folks it has to be validated by a caucasian before it is believed, I mean really we still have to get a caucasian stamp of approval before you believe something that should be self evident? Am I the only one who was aware of this fact? I been trying to install ethnic pride in my brothers and sisters for years. I have been telling them for years that they are descendants of kings and queens and that they had great lands and they come from a great history full of pride respect and dignity. There were even African pharaohs go look it up its true. It is also a fact that if you instill pride and dignity in your child they will make wiser choices, their self esteem will improve they will do better in all aspects and they will make better decisions concerning their future because they know that their lives are worth something and not just meaningless and bullshit. Or that all they should ever aspire to do is to shake their asses with fake ass wigs and weaves, and glitter embossed bodysuits, or play a sport. That they are more than what the media boils them down to be and that they are far capable of greatness versus idiolizing industry thugs, glorifying rappers, and actors, and wild children with marginal talent but an abundance of personal issues.


Give your children dignity and something to hold their heads up about, cut the tv off, and take them to the library, read to them, listen to them, and protect them for God's sake be a real parent and not just a wack facsimile of what a parent should be! Those of you lucky to have children should consider it an honor not just a biological right. It's more then that and you should treat it as such.

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DIAMOND DATING STANDARDS IN A CUBIC ZIRCONIA WORLD



Dear Men,

Let me explain some things too you because some where along the line you have gotten it twisted and you think its cool to be chumps. The current climate of dating is dog shit, no one is dating, or courting anymore you're not even trying to pronounce my name right before you sending me your dick through the mail and I know these basic bitches are just happy to have a warm male body to latch onto but look a woman with standards and requirements don't just go for any ole bullshit which is what you fellas are coming with these days. So since I keep encountering the same shit over and over how about I break somethings down to you that you should stop doing if you ever want to dip your penis is a woman of quality!

1. Stop whining like a little bitch and stomping off and running away when you are faced with a little opposition and adversity. Anything worth having you have to work for it doesn't just fall in your lap and if it does then be aware because obviously it's something wrong with it.

2. You WILL AND SHOULD have to put in work to earn my affection, time, and effort! There is no easy way to circumvent this rule it is what it is, if you want me to even be seriously considering you in my life then you have to put in the work! That means I need attention to be paid to me, I need consistency, I need you to be honest, and above all I need you to state your real intentions upfront. Bullshit will get you no where but laughed at and discussed when talking to my home girls!

3. I do expect some kind of dating to go on, if you have budget restraints then you need to be hella creative and that has nothing to do with your penis whatsoever! I shouldn't have to come up with the date and then implement it especially when you call yourself pursuing me!

4. I really don't respect men who send me their penis digitally. Once you do that I really lose all my respect for you and p.s. I pass that shit around to the home girls every damn time so...you have been forewarned.

5. Being crazy is not the best way to get me to like you, being overly sensitive and shit will make me think you have emotional issues, and being extra clingy will also have that effect as well. Bottom line you need to be emotionally stable if you not then you should really be alone!

6. I expect for you to be a gentleman, meaning I want some of that old school treatment, treat me like a woman and allow me to treat you like a man. Come to the door with something in your hand not just your hat, actually get out the car and come to the door, open the car door, pull out chairs, open building doors, walk on the outside of me when we on the sidewalk, pay for shit when we go out at least the first time if you treat me like a lady that allows me the option of wanting to actually treat you before you fellas start thinking you will always have to pay. Because quite frankly you don't always have to pay sometimes I might want to just take you out but because I want too and think you're worthy just like you think I'm worthy of being taken out that goes in the other direction as well.

7. If you can't afford to date then don't period.

8. If you act like a king then you can get royal treatment, verses acting like a basic ass chump which will get you no damn where.

9. As a rule I hate phone sex don't ask for it, don't expect it.

10. Time is of the essence I'm in my 30's there are things that I want that if you're not even trying to pursue then we aren't going to work out. I don't like wasting my time on idle pursuits. I even tried dealing with men that I had absolutely no interest in and knew there could be no future with in efforts just to get circulating and get the dating juices flowing but it was an epic and utter fail and a big waste of time. I hate wasting time I do enough of that on my own I don't need you to help me waste my time.

11. 0+0=0 in other words nothing from nothing leaves nothing! If you don't even have a drivers license, no ambition, content to be on general relief, s.s.i., section 8, medi-cade, medi-cal, IEHP, food stamps, welfare, all your life and do enough just to show your social worker you trying so they won't cut your benefits off we don't have nothing to discuss. We really don't I know I don't have what I need to have at my age but I have never been on any social programs and if you're a grown ass man on that shit and you think you getting over we have nothing to discuss what so ever. Please don't even try and set your attention in my direction.

12. You got more than one baby momma, look I have no kids and as a person without kids who would like to have some, some day (Lord willing) I really don't want to be with a dude who has already had his share of kids and he's already finished. That shit is unfair on both sides. I can't help if you already started having kids with various women and now you done, that's on you not me. If you would have invested in condoms and been wiser about procreating then you wouldn't have that problem and I wouldn't have to shut you down before you even got in good yet.

13. Ambition, intelligence, creativity, culture, new experiences, these are some qualities that every man worth his salt should have. Take me out and expose me to new things, lets go to the museums, plays, musicals, ballets, opera's, concerts, street fairs, farmers markets, cultural fairs, lets discover new things to do in the city, be involved in your community.

14. Please don't ask me anything sexual in our first 5 conversations, matter of fact why we even gotta discuss sex before we even know if we want to deal with each other on a personal level. Why does the conversation always have to immediately go in the direction of sex, why we gotta discuss oral, and favorite positions, and past experiences, why I gotta stress that I'm celibate and then once you hear that you start talking about how great your dick game is, look dick is a dime a dozen, Its about quality in all aspects not just the damn penis. But again basic dudes not trying to build long term you just want to beat and skeet and then keep it moving. I'm cool off that plan.

15. Men/boys that require multiple do overs look if I have been kind enough to give you more than one chance and you have dropped the ball on every chance then you're in the fringe zone one of those dudes that stay on the fringe that I don't take serious because you never got your shit together concerning your intentions with me, so enjoy the fringe because that's where you'll be always.

16. You must have self confidence in yourself if you don't like yourself how am I supposed to like you? What is there to be attracted too if you always down on yourself? That is a huge turn off HUGE.

17. I am not bougie, I am not a gold digger, but do I like nice things? Yes. Do I expect for you to be able to do the things I am accustomed to doing and be able to do that times 2, yes. Let me explain, If I can get it for myself then you should be able to get it as well with a little bit extra. So If I am able to go to cheesecake factory and spend 50 dollars then if we go like on a date you should be capable of doing that and more. If I can go to M.A.C. and buy a lipglass, a lip liner, and an eyeshadow, you should be able to buy that plus a couple of brushes, and a make-up bag. These are examples I'm not demanding these things but YOU should be able to do them. I am at a certain level, I do certain things I am not going backwards. I wouldn't ask a male that is accustomed to wearing Issey Miyake to start wearing axe body spray that's backwards. If a male is accustomed to eating at Ruth Chris steak house I wouldn't expect for him to dine at Denny's that's going backwards. Do you see where I'm going with this? Men please stop thinking that because women are used to certain things that she is a gold digger. That's a break dudes way of being cheap always talking about she after your paper, negro please you have to have some paper to be after first! Dating is a pricey activity in order for me to even want to spend time with you I have to be seriously interested in you, so that should be taken into consideration when you ask any woman out.

18. If you're a grown ass man above the age of 30 I should never ever ever see your draws. If you're wearing tennis shoes they shouldn't be dirty, dingy, and disgusting. Your should put your best foot forward because when I step out with you I am going to bring my A game YOU should do the same. It's embarrassing stepping out with a dude who looks like he just stepped off the set of a rap video but you was the break ass extra. That's not haute boo, not at all.

19. Stop lying about your financial situation the truth will always come to light and you will be embarrassed especially when you trying to scramble and save face. I won't say anything unless its warranted but I will notice it. Especially if I have to bail you out because you tried to play big bank hank it will quickly become an issue which will lead to the date ending shortly after.

20. I don't kiss everyone kissing like everything else has to be earned. You have to have been just a mind blowing type dude to earn a kiss. Kissing is an art form a rare one that people don't practice anymore. It is also a very intimate act one that I don't take lightly. If I'm just this way about kissing then you can imagine my rules and principals on sex and sexual activities.

I know that in this day and age it is very rare to find someone who knows how to date properly who even wants to spend time actually getting to know a person before they are trying to bed you but you fellas aren't even finessing it anymore you're very crass, rude and just uncouth. Why would I take any of you seriously when you act like such clowns and chumps? Why do I have to train you in the way you should treat a women? Don't you have mothers and sisters? Where are your manners? Understand me when I say that I'm not after any ones money. Integrity, ingenuity, intelligence, sincerity, and attitude go a long way to cover what is lacking in your pockets. But when you are an ignorant chump with no class there is no way to even cover up nor make up for the basic personality traits you are lacking. I am willing to work with a dude that has potential to actually be something not just a dude that stops at potential. Its a lot of men walking around with nothing but just potential and it never manifest into anything more than that.

I know if you reading this you like damn she got a lot of requirements and that's why she single now, you're right I have a lot or requirements, I have standards, I have things that I want a potential suitor to have. There is a certain way I want men in pursuit of me to act. I am past the age of playing around its either you will or you won't at this phase of the game. I'm playing for keeps not just playing to play so the stakes are higher and the pot is bigger.

I know you sitting there thinking damn is she even worth all this trouble and what dude is going to follow these rules and stipulations she putting forth when a dude can just simply go mess with the chicken head down the block who will let him treat her any old kind of way but there has to be a small fraction of men out there that are searching hungering for quality I am banking on those men its a long shot but nothing ventured nothing gained right? These shouldn't just be my personal standards alone this should be the universal women of worth standards. I am a diamond in the rough that is willing to work with a male diamond in the rough we can become full fledged diamonds together however I am over dealing with plain ole regular dirt rocks pretending to be lumps of coal! If you want to deal with me this is what you have to contend with. You have a choice we all have choices its about making wise choices from here on out and that ladies and gents is what I'm about 100%. So farewell chumps of the world I am no longer entertaining you and letting you waste my time. It will soon be a new year and I'm off the old and already on that 2010 so catch up and get right or get left!

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2HR SEASON FINALE OF LINCOLN HEIGHTS

So another season of Lincoln Heights has ended and if you aren't a watcher of that fantastic show shame on you. It's definitely a sleeper show with a multi-ethnic cast and swirl love so if you are a big fan of all of that then this is the show for you.

The show has been on for 4yrs and not many people know about it so I will post the two episode season finale for this season here so you can watch it. Currently the 4th season is on hulu but it will not be there long so if you want to try and catch the remaining episodes they have up for this current 4th season run over to hulu and watch it, its free!



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TIRED OF K.F.C.'S; KENTUCY FRIED CHUMPS




If you haven't guessed by now then you ought to know that dating(for lack of a better term) in southern California is like kicking yourself in the ass repeatedly with some soccer cleats. But it might just be me because I am a bit old fashioned when it comes to my approach and thing concerning men and anything relationship wise. I am simply tired of clowns in men suits shit is ridiculous the art of dating and courtship has been killed and replaced with utter bullshit. I really can't get with the bullshit that passes for male and female interaction these days. Its pure unadulterated bullshit painted in modern justifiability and passed off as the hauteness. Females have lowered their standards so much so that a chicken dinner, or super-sizing it will more than likely get a fella some ass and head. You don't even have to pronounce the chicks name right and you can still get some ass in this day and age. Its sad and its getting worst because no one is teaching young dudes in this day and age how to treat a woman, and no daddies around to teach their daughters how to be treated and respected by males. It's anything goes in these streets, parents are dropping the ball left and right when it comes to telling their daughters and sons how to treat each other because a lot of the adults don't know how to treat each other and they haven't figured it out for themselves shit is sad and disheartening.

So when a dude comes across a female that has requirements and standards he goes into shock. He's intrigued for a minute but when he finds out that he has to actually invest time, interest, resources and get to actually know her well enough to go out with her then he quickly drops the pursuit of said chick and moves on to the next much easier target. I don't know if in other states its like this but in Cali it most definitely is. Plus add to the fact that the main dudes in Cali either fall into four major groups.

Group 1: Upper middle class which means they are making decent money, they have a degree, they either drive a Benz, Lexus, or a Bentley, they shop at the Beverly center and they either live in the valley, weho, or ladera heights, but does not even date black women not at all, or if he does she has to be petite fairs-skinned, long hair, and as unblack acting as possible. But most likely they stick to Caucasian, Asian, and Hispanic women period no exceptions. They usually are the men who frown or look at "common" black women as ghetto trash who they say are, loud, overweight, and domineering. The funny and sad part is these very same men WILL and HAVE married women fresh out the trailer parks, and even very obese and unattractive white women but these very men have no problem upgrading these women but for a black women in the same situation he is very turned off condescending and callous makes you wonder about the psychosis of this very same man.

Group 2: Gay, down low, hood-down low dudes this group should be self explanatory.

Group 3: men with emotional baggage one chick hurt them one time and now they don't trust any women. They quick to flip out on you emotionally over nothing. Little grown boys dudes who think they got it going on but they haven't a clue how to treat a women not even the essentials. But they usually got more than one kid and multiple baby mommas but have trouble maintaining a long term relationship. The word commitment freaks them out and they have nothing to show for their existence except an xbox 360, some Jordan's, and a car with a stereo system and rims on it in his momma name.

Group 4: the rest of the men, they want a quick lay. They want you to send them naked, or "tease" pictures digitally they want you to phone sex them and all this shit within the first meeting of them. They try and convince you that they have the dick of life and when you shut their asses down they then become what I call fringe dudes, they wait around on the edges and every blue moon they speak/contact you/call/email or see you in the street and they show interest enough again to find out if your standards and requirements have lowered or weakened so they can then try and get what they wanted in the first place which is ass and when you still the same they fall back to the edges and will show up again when they single its what they do.

People often espouse don't look for love, okay but let me tell you people something I don't think there is a way to look for love, love is an emotion one that can be faked the most you can do is seek out or try and find what you deem is a quality person to be in your world or you can be passive and just let whatever is interested in you come your way. Now when you go the passive route you will get any and everything I know because I never ever approach men so what I end up with is chump city. Men who are just raggedy, shamelessly tired and trifling. Since these men are already down and out anything they get is a bonus and they have nothing to lose because they had absolutely nothing in the first place. Now with that being said there has to be a middle ground, I don't think being proactive in your romantic endeavors makes you desperate it makes you forward thinking and efficient. If you sit around and wait for love then it may never find you, and since men aren't really about love these days it would behoove you to ask the pertinent questions and then move on if said person is not what you may be seeking. That way you don't waste your time stepping out with a kentucky fried chump who just wants to go to burger hut and then slide between your sheets beat, skeet, and then delete you.

I am so tired of the men in southern cali beyond tired actually. Just once I wish I could meet a guy that was about business, and we clicked on all levels. Versus all these hit and misses I always encounter. I understand we are in hard times but if you absolutely don't have the money to date then you need to state that from the beginning and let the person you digging see if they are willing to work with you. Don't just assume that the person you going out with even likes you well enough to want to even do that with you. Because in order for a person to spend time with you then they have to be genuinely interested and not just wanting to simply go out just to be going out there is a difference!

Ladies word of advice raise your standards, stop settling for kentucky fried chumps, stop hopping in the bed with these niggas cause they got slick talk, and stop just taking bullshit. Make him work for it, he should be doing basic gentlemanly things, opening all doors car included, he should pay for the first dinner at a nice place applebee's and chili's does not count, he should come see you dressed decently if his drawers are showing send his ass packing, his car should be washed, or if you're driving and your car is dirty he should at least offer to wash it for you or fill the tank up, check the oil, check the tire pressure, damn do something besides ride in the passenger seat. If you don't set standards then you will get anything and when you get just anything then you aren't allowed to complain!

Fellas...sigh you're a whole other post smh its way to much I need to say to y'all about this shamockery you all call dating these days smh.

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I INVENTED SEX; TREY SONGZ VIDEO

So It turns out that Trey Songz really did invent sex who knew....



I don't know about anyone else but ummmm this vid was sexy, sensual, and just damned delightful. I thought Songz was cute in a baby face he ain't a grown man even if he is deep stroking kind of way. But this video has changed my mind and given me a new found appreciation for Songz...got me thinking I want to try a dude who's belly button is highly visible. Leave your thoughts and comments.

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FATHERS RAPING AND BEATING THEY'RE OWN CHILDREN

You mean to tell me you can't look at this dude and tell his elevator don't go all the way to the top? AND you set up and let his ass reproduce as well? I blame every adult involved with this situation all y'all need to be stripped of reproduction rights, and your homes/trailers/car/pick-ups/etc should be seized and sold off and you all should be marched down the street with sticks up your asses and weights around your necks then left in the middle of a field miles from no where to die slow.


 

READ THE NEWS STORY HERE

First Question: If the boy only got an IQ of 59 and he was messing with a 15yr old why did her parent(s) allow it to go on? Okay her grandmother, aunt, older sister whoever is guardian over this child because clearly she is retarded as well if she laying down with a dude that's mentally retarded and she can't tell the difference then she sat up got pregnant and her people let her keep the kid, I get the welfare hustle a baby is a check and clearly someone had to get that paper so what the 15yr old took one for the team? I know that when you mentally retarded then your hormones are extra amped so who didn't give these two their pills? Who dropped the dime on this watch?

Second Question: How the fuck he get enough time to rape AND beat his daughter in a trailer full of people? I can tell by looking at the boy picture he got a mental deficiency what's the problem with everyone else and shit? Do all the people in Arkansas got a cataract? You see his momma is borderline retarded herself setting up lying on camera. She didn't look straight at the camera the whole time she was speaking.

Third Question: why the fuck isn't there some kind of law in place for the prevention of people having kids period. Yes I know that's trampling on peoples free will blah blah blah but just because you have the inner workings to reproduce doesn't mean you should do it. There needs to be some kind of preventive measures in place clearly some people can't govern themselves so everyone has to suffer. I would rather be licensed to be a parent, with a complete mental check-up, IQ test, even a health screen before giving birth. It would nip a lot of shit in the bud and children wouldn't have to suffer at the hands of people who clearly shouldn't be allowed to have children. You need a licenses to fish, to hunt, to drive a car, to even get married but any asshole who deems it so can skeet and produce a kid that shit is unbalanced. Why the fuck are animals, and even fish more protected then the very fruit of human reproduction? Clearly homo sapien's are the most fucked up and flawed creatures on the planet we do some horrible shit to each other and some of you assholes even devour your young.

There needs to be stiffer penalties for child molesters, child rapist, pedophiles and any one who harms a child, mentally, physically, sexually, emotionally. Who advocates for the children? Who speaks for them? How can we call ourselves evolved when everyday some where in the world a child is being harmed? How can we even dare wage wars when we have this kind of heinous shit going on in our very backyards? We don't even protect our children so why the fuck are we in other countries trying to tell them what to do?

I am so angry and you should be as well for every child needs protection and we as adults should protect them with our very lives but instead some sick assholes are the takers of innocence and life. For every person that harms a child the 10th gate of hell is waiting for your mortal soul and I for one think you should be sent there immediately once found guilty. No need to sit in a jail cell and take up space and taxpayers money fry their asses and send then on to hell where they belong.

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MY DOG IS DEAD WELCOME TO MY PARTY


Look this post will not be a happy one I'm not in a good place. I can't sugarcoat anything for your delicate emotions basically I've hit the bottom and I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired of being everything to everyone but myself and when it comes time to have someone in your corner their is no one.

I had to kill the only being that loved me unconditionally my dog. I had to make the hard decision to put him to sleep. HE was in so much pain and I didn't have the money to fix him so I had to do the humane thing and have him put down. He had maggots feasting on his insides and shit MAGGOTS... he couldn't barely stand he was so bad off. I don't think anyone understands how hard it is to make the decision to kill a pet they have had for 10yrs. It makes you understand that you truly can't have kids because if they get sick and you have no money then what? You can't kill your kids, well you shouldn't be killing your kids but assholes do it all the time.

I wish I was someone else a different me a different ethnic group, something it truly is greener on the other side because on my side its all black right now...and since I'm friendless this is where I turn to sad ain't it.

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OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BABES



It's a shame when this little boy has lyrics that are deep and clearly reflect a better outlook on love then any grown man singing r&b today. I know that someone had to write these lyrics for him because they just too grown and speak to a higher emotional intelligence for his age but then again he just might be on his grown man ish. Either way its sad when this little boy is blue-eyed souling while trying to bring love back by himself while the grown black men singing r&b are all just talking about fucking.

I feel like music is reflective of what's going on in the streets if all there is, is just fucking and leaving, beating, skeeting, and deleting then that's the soundtrack of the times and its sad. There is more to life then busting nuts and moving on to the next one, sigh these are some lonely ugly times we living in. So while its colder if you don't have a booski(like I don't) to keep you warm I suggest you stock up on some liquor and sleep aids to get you over those long nights when 1 is truly the loneliness number... anywho enjoy some bubblegum-pop&b maybe it will get your mind right and help you get back to love...

The lyrics to the song:

Alright let's go
There's gonna be one less lonely girl (one less lonely girl)
One less lonely girl (one less lonely girl)
There's gonna be one less lonely girl (one less lonely girl)
One less lonely girl (ha)

How many I told you’s and start overs
And shoulders have you cried on before
How many promises be honest girl
How many tears you let hit the floor
How many bags you packed
Just to take ‘em back tell me that
How many either or's but no more
If you let me inside of your world
There'll be the one less lonely girl

Ohh Oh Oh
Saw so many pretty faces before I saw you you
Now all I see is you
I'm coming for you (I'm coming for you)
Noo No
Don't need these other pretty faces like I need you
And when you’re mine in the world
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you) One less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you) One less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)One less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl (I'm coming for you)
I'm gonna put you first (I'm coming for you)
I'll show you what you're worth (That's what I'm gonna do)
If you let me inside your world
There’s gonna be one less lonely girl

Christmas wasn’t merry, 14th of February not one of them spent with you
How many dinner dates set dinner plates and
He didn’t even touch his food
How many torn photographs saw you taping back

Tell me that couldn’t see an open door
But no more
If you let me inside of your world
There'll be one less lonely girl

Ohh Oh Oh
Saw so many pretty faces
Before I saw you you
Now all I see is you
I'm coming for you, I'm coming for you
Noo No
Don't need these other pretty faces like I need you
And when you’re mine in this world
There’s gonna be one less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)One less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)One less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)One less lonely girl
(There's gonna be) One less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you) I'm gonna put you first
(I'm coming for you) I'll show you what you’re worth
(Thats what I'm gunna do)If you let me inside of your world
There's gonna be one less lonely girl

I can fix up your broken heart
I can give you a brand new start
I can make you believe (yeah)
I just wanna set one girl free to fall,
Free to fall (she's free to fall)
Fall in love
With me

Her hearts locked and nowhere to get the key
I’ll take her and leave the world with one less lonely girl

There’s gonna be one less lonely girl (one less lonely girl)
One less lonely girl (one less lonely girl)
There’s gonna be one less lonely girl (one less lonely girl)
One less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)One less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you) One less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)One less lonely girl
Theres gunna be one less lonely girl (I'm coming for you)
I'm gunna put you first (I'm coming for you)
I'll show you what your worth (That's what I gotta do)
If you let me inside your world
There's gunna be one less lonely girl

Justin Bieber Lonely Girl lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/justin-bieber-lonely-girl-lyrics.html

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WHERE ARE THEY NOW; THE MISSING MUSICIAN EDITION

I was thinking about some of the singers that made a blip on the map and then just as quickly as they came they disappeared. You know it takes more than just having talent to sing you have to have a work ethic, plus a drive to want it, and a willingness to do it by whatever means, and let us not forget you need a management team that will saturate the market and be about getting you out there to the masses ad nauseum plus it kind of works against you when your record company folds, or your group disbands, or you simply just didn't have what it took to make a lasting musical impression, but everyone that gets a music deal will simply not go on to become music legends you have to know your product, and if you are your product then you have to know if you are long term or fly by night. Some people making music now guaranteed won't be making music still in 2012 you won't even remember them unless you come across their video on youtube if that site is even still around in 2012. The music game is a cold hard mistress and she will love and leave that ass in a heartbeat just ask any musician who has been in the trenches for awhile. People are all starry-eyed and naive when it comes to making music and those who don't have a head for business while making sure that they protect themselves while in the music biz they will get done by the music industry and they will be left bitter and broken disillusioned and angry. The music biz is paved on the backs of one hit wonders and acts that never got out of the starting block.

Lets go through some of the people that the music biz has left behind in its tracks:

Dear Monifah where are you? Have you found the Lord, did you get married and push out babies? Where did you go come back home we miss you!


Dear Gina Thompson are you some where selling ass? Cracked out? Bitter and trying to stab puff pastry in the club if you see him? What you should do is stand outside of Bad Boy's new york office with a sign and a cup begging for spare change with a sign that says "I used to be on bad boy records this is your future!"




Dear Tweet you should have capitalized on the name twitter its too late now sucks, I bought both your albums...are you still over there singing back up and waiting for your big next wave of interest to many years have passed I hope you got some kind of knowledge or at least a deal working for someone that will allow you to put food on the table but as long as Missy let you carry her hats with hair attached to them you shall never go hungry.





Dear Truth Hurts, I always thought your jawbone was extra strong is that from using it excessively? Your album sucked donkey balls when I bought that shit it just pretty much summed up my day from there, that day will forever be marred in my mind by bad memories I don't even remember the dude I was with that day but he was a fail and my mind is blocking the memory thank God your album was like a bad cheeseburger the only thing that saved my day was a burger king burger that is the only bright spot I remember. I hope you at least got some section 8 housing because I remember you were trying to get your sister out of the foster care system. BTW the Indian video and beat you jacked for this song was hotter than what you tried to do here but I understand when you in a hurry to hit the music scene and make you a quick buck anything will do you should have tried a pyramid scheme like mona-vee but on the upside you made winding your body hot so big ups for that.



Dear NLT that is managed by Marcus Houston and Chris St(p)okes you might want to rethink your whole approach basically you sound way to R&B'ish but you're just coming off zesty all those intense faces you're making in the video makes my bowels lock up and its just not a good look. This is your 2nd single and...yea who really knows you? Your fan base is still small and you are in danger of being exploited and/whored by the marketing team of TUG and then what? Will it porn for you as well? Think about it, where's B2K, even Omarion you need to look at these peoples track record don't say I didn't try and warn you...



Dear Soul For Real I know that you have recently all been locked up with the exception of one of y'all that's sad. I know its hard to bounce back from having a little success and now being broke and doing credit fraud no one ever gives the artist a "what to do when you don't quite break out and be a successful act like they promised you act", don't worry Monifah is pissed off too maybe in jail you will come up with ways to still be relevant please don't drop the soap, watch each others back.



Dear Bilal I was digging you, are you some where wondering around under a bridge singing melodies only you can hear? Did you smoke up all your advancement money? Oh brother where art thou? OR are you hiding out some where because you believed your own hype turned into some sort of afrocentric love guru and tried to start your own tribe by knocking up all the "soul sistas" you could find hyping them by telling them you were going to start a cultural revolution, told them they should hold you down but you turned out to be some ole jive ass cultural pimp who is in turn a deadbeat daddy with leagues of children you don't take care of and now you some where living off a YT women who "believes" in you. You always did give me that sort of vibe I hope it hasn't come down for you like that but if it has damn shame on you. (UPDATE) Dear Bilal I now understand why you sat the fuck down from being on the music scene you can't sing worth shit. I can verify this because you were the one snag in the wonderful night that was the maxwell concert, you raped my soul with your damn caterwauling You have been found out and I'm spreading the word gone and go back to doing whatever else you were doing and shit besides singing because singing is not your calling!



Dear Subway you should have trademarked your name and inked a deal to sing all of subway sandwiches commercials you could have been filthy rich by now, instead you some where sitting in a subway bitter as hell or either you living with Michael Bivins in his who's who has been mansion for wayward used up talent aka the Biv 10 artist.



Dear Allure...Le-sigh I can't, I hope you ladies managed to find ballers, or got married or at least got a baby daddy check coming in.



Dear Next is it true you all fell out because of super head? Now you all sitting at the house sad and shit, you weren't without talent now look at you. Le-sigh Bro's before Hoes next time!



Dear Isyss, I liked this song, never bought an album though, and probably won't buy one but thanks for this song.



Hey Jesse Powell what you doing where you at? I really loved the song You, after that you just kind of fell off what happened? Did they try and fuck you over your contract? Where you not sexy enough to make it mainstream? I mean you a little shorty with a bird chest but you could sing your ass off I wouldn't fuck you but you could sing to me on a regular basis and I would feed you and slide you some snack cakes so you could get your weight up a little bit. I'm just saying but thanks for this lovely song that will forever live in our memories.



Uncle Sam hey where are you? Are you bitter and mad at the industry and shit like everyone else that used to sing and got dropped after they did a couple singles? I mean I liked your song but maybe you better off where ever you are right now. I mean you did really look like someones uncle so I mean are you running a daycare, or maybe an after school program helping the wayward kids and shit out in your neighborhood now perhaps you are providing music lessons and shit. Did you move to Iceland? What's good withcu uncle sam if you google yourself and see this post hollar at me leave me a comment because I really am interested in what your doing now a days.



Hey Az Yet, damn Laface records fucked up everybody hope y'all made a little change cause ummm yea this was the jam but damn where did y'all go? I hope y'all writing songs are at least working in somebody mail room...Do y'all still talk to babyface cause he ain't really putting out no music either maybe y'all can hook up and do like a traveling music show and put on a Laface revival musical it could be great get Toni B in there and just make it a well rounded show I'd go see it maybe if y'all give me like some comp tickets since I did come up with this brilliant little idea for y'all it's the least y'all could do.



Hey guys from Shai where y'all at and shit I mean I know Garfield was at cal state northridge taking classes and what not but what else y'all doing? What happened to your flannel outfits and baggy jeans do you still have them outfits? Do you ever take em out the closet and just be like damn I used to sing what happened? Is Garfield the only one that went and got a degree? Lawd how many of y'all had a crush on Garfield? light skinned dudes had a good run didn't they!!! (LOL)





I think you get the gist of where I'm going with this but if y'all see an old musical act or have any info on them leave it in the comment section cause I care about these people in my own way and I just want to make sure that they alright and not singing up under the freeway or worst. Hell if the girl from family matters can get her 5 minutes of fame back then let these one hit wonders be great as well. I'm just saying let's remember them in their short lived glory hey day and keep your eyes peeled you never know who might be working at your local walmart and shit.

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MIND YOUR RELATIONSHIP




People get tired...it's a fact.

It's also a fact that people can only do to you what you allow them to do to you.

Fact relationships should be a two way street or you will get ran over like a one way street complete with wear and tear and potholes.

Fact it is not always the mans fault.

Fact when you listen to single girlfriends and run the street with them then guess what you're coveting a single lifestyle which can quickly turn into a single reality!

Relationships are HARD WORK, they are harder to maintain then any 9-5 they need constant nurturing, constant vigil, constant communication, constant attention, constant pride swallowing, compromise, improvising, trust, energy, love, affection, understanding, respect, and dedication. They also need for you to have the guts and the balls to maintain it for the long haul if you're not all in then you are simply playing waiting for something better possibly to come along.

Fact marriage is not the problem its the expectations of what a marriage is. Two people who decide to get married should discuss it, discuss it, and discuss it again not just making wedding plans but talk about your expectations for each partner, finances, if you want children, where you want to live, 5 year outcome etc. There needs to be talks held, then you should seek before marriage counseling, put a higher power in your marriage, pray together, be honest and communicate often, seek wisdom from happily married elders, not single girlfriends who are bitter and angry because their marriages failed and they don't have any prospects for marriage and most importantly you need faith, faith in yourself and faith in your partner and faith in your union.

Be realistic I know many of us have done it but you ultimately know what you want in a mate, if he or she is a cheater while you're dating then what makes you think they will stop cheating after you say vows? FACT NO WOMAN CAN CHANGE A MAN, NO MAN CAN CHANGE A WOMAN! Stop thinking that you can change the person you're with into your ideal mate. If they were you're ideal mate then they wouldn't be such a fixer-upper in the first place. The worst thing you could ever do is settle and be with someone for all the wrong reasons or stay in a relationship for all the wrong reasons.

Recognize that potential might just never become anything more than potential. You know what I mean like a man that is always trying but he can't never seem to keep a job he always getting fired for some reason or other, he's a good man but he just can't hold onto a job for shit. Now understand I am not telling anyone to break up with their man by no means but realize that more often than not you will be the main bread winner. Realize that with this type of man your finances will always be in jeopardy unless you make enough to cover everything by yourself, realize that this type of man may be good in other areas but working and making money on a consistent basis won't be one of those areas. So don't go faulting the man when he can't keep a job there is where finding out about a person before you leap into a relationship with them comes into play.

I don't care what anyone says or how they justify it cheating is cheating is cheating PERIOD. It's wrong if a man does it and its wrong when a woman does it PERIOD. I don't care if you're unhappy with your mate, I don't care if you're in a lot of pain and the only way to work through it is by fucking its still wrong, your moral compass is fucked up and that's just the way it is. Don't try and cover up shit with perfume it's still funky no matter how much you spray it.

Baby mommas and baby daddies if you aren't together and you each have multiple kids please be mature about your dealings with each other. The only thing that needs to ever be discussed is your kids PERIOD. Trying to hurt each other through your children is ugly stop being so fucking stupid its not about you anymore its about your children. Women stop using your children as tools of revenge that shit is moronic and you should have known better than to put your womb on the line before you let him skeet in you. Men stop being all bitter and shit and talking about how much you hate that bitch, you wasn't hating her when you were busting nuts all in her gut. It takes two to make a baby every time you lay down with someone know that you are taking a risk DUH, anyone that doesn't get that is seriously mentally challenged and shouldn't be fucking any way.

If there is no love left then there is nothing to stay for. It will just cause misery to both parties if you are unhappy walk away. Put one foot in front of the other and don't look back even if that means you have to make some hard choices. But everyone should have a fuck you fund, just in case you have to leave you need to be able to at least have a rent deposit of first and last and a security deposit at all times sitting in a reserve account solely with your name on it.

Don't bullshit yourself if it doesn't work you can't make it work so stop trying let it go...

Just some thoughts ladies and gents from my head to hopefully your heart.

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