Friday, June 25, 2010


Maybe it's just my shitty luck or there just happens to be a whole lot of ex-cons and dudes that have had way to many run ins with the law gravitating towards my universe lately. Does every black male 19 and up have a criminal pass? I mean damn what is really going on in these streets and some of the reformed thugs/ ex-cons can't blame it on the recession cause some of y'all was putting in work before the economy went south. All that aside I just want to know why criminals seem to gravitate my way? I certainly am not a ride or die chick in the sense of helping build up criminal enterprises I'm not hiding drugs nor guns nor am I willing to lie to the feds or any of that gangsta betty type shit. I wasn't raised to embrace the criminal mindset nor to think that criminal activity in any way shape or form is hot. I was always raised to believe that you worked hard for what you wanted or you just went without.

So I don't get why folks that commit crimes or as they put it "make mistakes" get mad at me or offended when I decline to deal with them any further after they disclose that they have been behind bars. Believe it or not there are people who go their whole lives without going to jail or prison. Living in a bad situation doesn't give you an automatic right to just do illegal things. When you make choices in life you have to deal with all the consequences of said choices no one gets to escapes this basic life rule there is simply no way around it. I am not one who sees the selling of drugs, gang-banging, doing drive-by's, robbing people etc, as exciting I think that kind of behavior is deviant and reckless. Life is already hard enough and if you are a minority you don't need to give the police an extra reason to run up on you they do that because of your skin tone as is so again pardon me if I don't understand why I should be into ex-con's or jail birds.

It's sad how the 50 cent video glamorizes the whole penitentiary love situation. Here you have this beautiful girl who is knowingly dealing with a drug dealer and he gets locked up and she is right by his side taking them collect calls, getting those jail letters full of promises they won't keep once they get out, we even see her going for a conjugal visit in the video. I mean seriously, I know that there are some women who are down for this whole scenario and even believe that being a down ass chick for their man is what's really good in the streets but again and I can't stress this enough I AM NOT THAT CHICK, to these women there is nothing better than holding their man down while he does a bid, some even keep his criminal enterprises going so when he get's out he can resume right where he left off  its the stuff that ghetto lit is made up of. These women are putting money on the books, getting on buses to see these dudes, even bringing their children to visit they jail house daddies while that is alright for those ladies I again am not that chick. I never want to see the inside of a prison unless I am working there and even then I'm not trying to fraternize with the criminal element at all I want to be working in the office typing up papers far away from bars and big burly prison buff men who haven't seen a woman since they went in. I'm not into thugs never have been, I don't like the street life, nor the party scene, I'm boring and rather be at home watching anime or even doing arts and crafts.So I can't for the life of me understand what would make a criminal see me and be like yea I want her. For goodness sakes I am a complete square I like smart nerdy type boys (even though they don't seem to like me back..sadness).

Then on top of that how do you know these ex-con's won't drag you into drama or put you in a criminal situation? How do you know these "reformed criminals" aren't a threat to you or your family? What if the pressure gets to be to much to them and they feel like the only way they can make it is to resort back to their criminal ways what then? Plus any man that has done a significant stretch of time in a prison type situation has the high risk of being what they deem "jail gay" how can any woman turn a blind eye to that little tidbit? The bottom line for me is I just can't deal with the criminal element period. I'm sure there are people who have reformed their life and are walking the straight and narrow but once I know you were behind any type of bars and they weren't on a playground any little bit of feeling I was feeling for you vanishes completely and instantly its automatic I believe its preprogrammed into my DNA for me to behave this way. This belief is so strong its unshakable I'm sure this post will make some of the prison friendly people mad but we will have to agree to disagree because on this subject I'm not changing my mind.

Lastly I would like to leave you with some of my favorite prison videos these men in these videos....well form your own opinions enjoy.


Sunday, June 20, 2010


Happy fathers day hugs and kisses to all the fathers who are in their children's lives even when they hate they babies mommas, even when they are overseas defending their country, even though they might be working today, even though they might not be shit at all. Unless you were a test tube baby someone donated some sperm to an egg to make the chemical compound that solidified into they walking mass that is before us today. So in honor of all that and in spite of everything take a moment to reflect on Fatherhood, as a nation and as you reflect on the men in your life that were father figures or the lack thereof of having a father figure.

 Reflect on why there isn't more strong Black, Hispanic, minority men in the homes? Why are there so many broken homes with just one parent? How can we break this negative cycle? How can we change what has already become way too accepted in todays society? How can we make our households better, raise happy healthy children in a two parent home, and repair and take back our families? What kind of steps do we need to take as a community, as minorities that need to take care of our own inside issues?  If their is no father in your home for your children today then instead of being eaten up by negative emotions take the time to reflect, let this be a time of pro-activeness, where can you go to put the wheels of change in motion? How can you break the cycle? What steps can you take to break familial curses? Just some things to think about in regards to fathers today. 


Sunday, June 06, 2010


The simplest concept in the world, the one we should always reflect on in everything we do is that:


We as human.beings make choices, we do things out of spite, out of anger, out of malice, out of kindness, out of love, out of sadness, out of loneliness, out of sacrifice, sometimes we do things because we don't know how to do any better. Whatever motivates you and drives you to do the things that you do understand for that choice you will make, you have made, there will be an outcome there is no escaping this.

People tend to think about themselves first and then others last, when you make a decision and you think it is only affecting you, you should ask yourself:

Self: This decision that I am making here right now how will it impact those around me, a year from now, five years from now, how will it affect my children's futures, will it have an affect on the way I am perceived,  Lastly but the most important questions are how will this affect someone who loves me? Will it cause emotional distress, physical pain, will this little bit of pleasure bring me a moment of happiness but a lifetime of pain?

I of course have to digress because simply human.beings are emotional selfish creatures we do what feels good, we do what makes us happy damn the consciences, damn what anyone else thinks and then we want to argue, curse and fight once the consciences rears its ugly head. We paint ourselves into corners because we are by nature selfish.

There is a principle called Personal Responsibility that states:

Accepting personal responsibility includes:
* Acknowledging that you are solely responsible for the choices in your life.
* Accepting that you are responsible for what you choose to feel or think.
* Accepting that you choose the direction for your life.
* Accepting that you cannot blame others for the choices you have made.
* Tearing down the mask of defense or rationale for why others are responsible for who you are, what has happened to you and what you are bound to become.
* The rational belief that you are responsible for determining who your are, and how your choices affect your life.
* Pointing the finger of responsibility back to yourself and away from others when you are discussing the consequences of your actions.
*Realizing that you determine your feelings about any events or actions addressed to you, no matter how negative they seem.
* Recognizing that you are your best cheerleader; it is not reasonable or healthy for you to depend on others to make you feel good about yourself.
* Recognizing that as you enter adulthood and maturity, you determine how your self-esteem will develop.
* Not feeling sorry for the "bum deal" you have been handed but taking hold of your life and giving it direction and reason.
* Letting go of your sense of over responsibility for others.
* Protecting and nurturing your health and emotional well being.
* Taking preventive health oriented steps of structuring your life with time management, stress management, confronting fears and burnout prevention.
* Taking an honest inventory of your strengths, abilities, talents, virtues and positive points.
* Developing positive, self-affirming, self-talk scripts to enhance your personal development and growth.
* Letting go of blame and anger toward those in your past who did the best they could, given the limitations of their knowledge, background and awareness.
* Working out anger, hostility, pessimism and depression over past hurts, pains, abuse, mistreatment and misdirection. 

Read more: 

June 6,
Give not that which is holy to dogs. Neither cast ye your pearls before swine - Matthew 7:6
Should we wear our most expensive outfit to a mud fight? Why then do we continue to place ourselves in jobs, situations, and relationships that ruin our peace, health, and self-value? Should we leave our most valuable possession unguarded in a public location? Why then do we place our minds and bodies in the reach of those persons and situations with a demonstrated history of abuse or neglect? We are, to ourselves, the most valuable possession we have. Yet we waste our time, energy and sometimes our lives in worthless situations among people who are unworthy. We must value our ideas, our energy, our time and our life to such an infinite degree that we become unwilling to waste who we are. If we put on our best and go to a mud fight, we can expect to get dirty. If we place our head in the Lion's mouth, we should expect to get eaten.
I Am very valuable to me. 

I always say that no one can do anything to you unless you allow them too. If you are throwing your pearls before swine and you expect them to appreciate them you will be disappointed each and every time.  I read that particular passage this morning and I didn't even know how it would impact my life until later on Today. I say to anyone reading this particular blog today there are two things I wish you to know if you don't come away with anything else: 

1. Personal Responsibility is hard I know this but at some point in your life as an adult you have to take it for yourself and your own happiness, and your actions and the consequences of all your actions and change starts with self I know its easier said then done but as we all are works in progress we must do what we can to affect the change we want to see in our lives.

2. No one can hurt, harm, damage you unless you allow them too. As an adult you have to stop allowing others to hurt or harm you, if they are a destructive force in your life then purge them from you and allow yourself to be happy, healthy, growing and thriving. Stop leaning on the crutch that is allowing you to stay in a situation that is killing your very joy within you. If you lose the destructive crutch you will have to learn how to walk all over again without it, you start by crawling but eventually you will learn how to stand and then you will learn how to walk again without that destructive crutch and eventually learn how to be happy again once you're on your own.

I speak peace and blessings into the lives that are broken, unhappy, sad, miserable and feeling like they have to stay in a situation they don't want to be in because they can't do any better. Change is hard especially when you aren't financially able to do any better believe me I know but there has to be a way, pray on it and meditate on it. 

Passage taken from: Acts Of Faith by Iyanla Vanzant link located below