Saturday, November 01, 2008


There is this movement, a shift in thinking if you will I don't know if it is the evolution of the times but it's a movement none the less, and I for one can't really get behind it. I see I have lost you already let me break it down for you, we have this MS. INDEPENDENT movement going on now. Please don't ever get it twisted women are striving and doing the dog-on-thang (pardon my slang) but at what cost? I think it's great to tell any girl to shoot for your goals achieve your dreams so you can be proud of yourself and have something of your own that is a wonderful message but the whole MS. Independent thou are an island to oneself is not hot.

It's getting to the point where women are saying hey since he doesn't have a degree, since he doesn't make X-amount of money, since he can't take me to France for summer vacation then I'm not fooling with him and etc. I am not saying all women but a great majority of them that are out stepping men financially are saying that. Now I am writing purely from my perspective and my cultural standpoint. A lot of African-American women are shelving marriage because it's just not appealing. Why get married when you can do for self and have no one to answer to. Who needs marriage when your money covers all your needs and then some, who needs marriage when you have dick on dial? Love and Marriage are being kicked aside and Marriage is taking a beating like the most picked on kid in the school yard.

Ms. Independent is murking marriage and some men are cheering for it. We went from gold-diggers to Ms. Independent two ignorant extremes of the same coin. I understand from a mans point of view that a woman having her own takes a huge responsibility off the shoulders of said man but what happens when the women decides that since she is Ms. Independent she doesn't need you anymore? Why would a woman need a man when she can do it all, and buy it all, and be all, all by herself? What is the use of a man besides being the dick dealer in that situation? If you are truly independent then it means you need no one, because you are self dependent, self relying, and self taken care of, being independent does not leave much room for anyone or anything else.

Please don't get me wrong I think its great that women have climbed that mountain top and cracked that glass ceiling and put a huge crack in it but at what cost? While women are out achieving and bringing home the big bucks, families and marriage are taking a back burner to success. Women are putting off having children, and getting married, to pursue other avenues. Love has gotten a black eye, marriage is getting murdered daily, and raising your own child has taken a seat to nannies, and day cares. What I am saying is some don't know how to balance it some are extremist and it's really not a good look.

How is it that gay couples are fighting so hard just to have the right to call their unions a marriage when heterosexuals don't even want to marry each other anymore? How is it that gay couples fight so hard to adopt children when plenty of people having kids shouldn't be having them at all? I must be a martian because to me it makes no sense we are truly living backwards. Our values are completely almost nonexistent, I know I'm uncool for still thinking that marriage, and raising children within a family unit is something beautiful and ideal.

It's funny how everyone has a song talking about being independent and how she got her own thing but the queen of independence got married Mrs. Carter-Knowles. I'm pretty sure in her household her husband is the head and she is the helpmate. I'm also pretty sure that she knows her role and plays it accordingly. I'm also pretty sure that she has watched her parents WHO are still married by the way so I'm pretty sure that Ms. Independent woman never thought that she wouldn't get married. I believe that when you set yourself as independent you give yourself no margin for error you are telling the world I got this I don't need anything from you, and you can't do anything for me. With an attitude like that you are setting yourself up to become an island why would anyone want to be an island of one?

There are women who have achieved great success and still continue to do so but they are married and have families and they prioritize accordingly, money and success still take a back burner to what is really important which is God, Family, and then everything else. For instance Michelle Obama is a successful lawyer, mother, and wife to the future president of the united states that is a prime example of a woman who is managing to balance her life while keeping the important things in perspective, Jada Pinkett-Smith is another woman that does that and as I previously mentioned Mrs. Carter-Knowles does also.

I suspect that these women know that no matter how much money or critical acclaim they achieve success can not hug you nor kiss you, it can't say mommy play with me, it can't replace being held by your husband after a long day, it surely can't massage tired feet. I don't know any kind of toy on the market yet that can replace the touch of a husband that knows your body inside and out, and it can't replace making love to a man that you share the same last name with. I'm not a fool I know that marriage is work, relationships are work they take time, patience, nurturing, communication, and constant care. But while the whole world is singing "she's independent that's why I love her" there are women who are just as successful but taking care of their husbands and children as well.

I know in this current American culture success is measured by your net worth and assets, and everything else is just extra. I must seem positively ancient in my view of things and I probably will have a huge backlash but when you are a martian you expect it. Like I stated earlier I don't care for the ms. independent title sounds like a dressed up way of saying she got money so I can be the dick dealer and not be tied down. Ladies it's great if you got it but if you can't balance that and know that at the end of the day you are not an island all to yourself then all those shopping sprees and overseas trips don't amount to much when you in a huge mansion with nothing but purse dogs to keep you company...ask Mariah!