Thursday, January 01, 2009


So many times I thought I caught a glimpse of you as I chatted, had random conversations, wasted time with random dudes that had crossed my path but elusive like sand through my fingers you are. I always think I see a glimpse of you happens true colors are shown and then it's over. Sometimes it takes a couple conversations sometimes it only takes one. The end result are usually always the same.

I have an idea but it's an abstract one...I try to keep the parameters loose so that I don't crush the depth of you but at the same time have some kind of construct as just to what kind of person you are. I'm not seeking perfection I wouldn't want anyone too perfect, perfect is too hard to live up to and with. I just want a normal, quirky, funny, handsome, strong, sweet, respectful, easy to laugh, slow to anger, gentle but strong, intelligently nerdy, tallish guy with his head on straight who doesn't have all this baggage and emotional wounds. Who will be going in the same direction in life that I am seeking to go in who is just an easy going sort of fellow who wants to walk down that path of love and be in love with no qualms or limitations. Who will not mind my ways and might even think that some of the things I do are cute, funny, interesting, and we will make merry wherever we are. He will be my perfectly imperfect superhuman and I will be his perfectly imperfect cheering section.

Who will know how to cheer me up when the world becomes to much, who will listen and offer helpful solutions not just random shit that doesn't make sense. He won't hurry me to cheer up because it's inconvenient for him but he will let me be without thinking it is a reflection on anything he has done. In other words he will give me space to get back on track and be there when I am better and I in turn will willingly do the same for him. Giving him space when needed and strength or a shoulder or even a whole back to lean on when he needs it. We will be the best of friends and have respect for each other as individuals. We would communicate like the best of friends...and he would say to me such sweet things like

I want to become intoxicated by your presence
as well as
I just want to adore and engage into the scent of you.
and he would be blessed to have the gift of prose and would bless me with beautiful heartfelt sentiments because he wanted to such as
You are the epitome of what's meant for me. The total package, when are you going to be sent to me? Because WE know I'll resent to see you go in the wrong direction, I'll live on sympathy...
causing me to melt a thousand times in a thousand different ways ...and I would allow myself to surrender to my feelings and not over think it or even question it... even if it's just for the moment...and fantasy never becomes a reality...I would still live off the dreams of you and hug them tight like my pillow at night and cherish what could have been and use it as a measuring stick for all those that dare come after...but honestly, truthfully, I hope to God YOU'RE the last chapter...before the happily ever after...BUT THEN SHE REALIZED EMOTIONS AND LOVE WAS BEST LEFT FOR THE FOOLISH AND SENSELESS! FUCK FAIRY TALES FROM NOW ON ITS STRICTLY HORROR FILMS!