Sunday, January 11, 2009


I love the blogging world it gives a voice where otherwise you wouldn't have one. It allows for an exchange of ideas in a neutral form you can't get any better than that!

On this blog CELIES REVENGE a blogger that calls herself a radical feminist talks about how superhead is a victim of circumstances and how abuse led her to the life she has come to lead it's a good read even if you don't subscribe to the same way of thinking. I know that I don't agree with seeing superhead per say as a victim. While I do agree that she has lead a tragic and sad life I don't think that she is someone who needs pity. I believe that she needs counseling, and maybe even some spiritual guidance. If Frankie (keyshia Coles) momma can overcome being a prostitute, and a drug addict, and having seven children by different men then why can't superhead change her tone and become a victim advocate or victim awareness life coach or something, hell I don't even care if she makes up a title. I don't see her trying to change anything as far as helping other woman that have fallen victim to the same things in life. I don't see her going to schools, or to youth crisis centers helping out young girls. I don't see any of that what I do see is a woman who has capitalized on sleeping with different men in the industry, and being a media whore still hungering for a level or celebrity that she just won't be able to reach. Can you imagine what a boardroom meeting with her is like? I am not condemning her even though I have in the past I can't identify with her and I can't get behind her movement.

Now in no way shape or form am I defending the men that indulged in screwing her, but when you begin to call yourself something and perpetrate that image and embrace it you lose the voice to say I am a victim. Because a whore's nature is a whore's nature. Meaning anyone can be a whore, being a whore is not gender bias people make the distinction. While men get the accolades for sleeping around the stigma of whore will always rest on a woman's shoulders when we do it. James Brown said it's a mans world and that was said in the 1960's and it still holds true today. The funny thing is that the woman who have had excessive sexual partners, released sex tapes, capitalized on being flat-backers are the women that are being most sought after in this day and time. No longer is it the "good girls" per say. The irony is she would be considered a grotesque trophy wife of sorts, a "I conquered her enough after all the sex she has had type of mentality to get her to marry me" and it would be a man of means not some regular dude. Men love women who are experienced and that are sexually aggressive and being a woman who doesn't necessarily subscribed to that kind of image of being fast and loose with my sex it's a lose lose situation for me.

I lose because I am not a video vixen/(victim?) I have a father so I don't seek one out I don't choose to do explicitly sexual things for male attention because I feel I don't have too. Why do I need to put myself out there with that type of sexual image when I am so much more than my breast and ass! While I may have made plenty sexual missteps in my youth by the grace of God there wasn't any permanent damage done but I can't fault anyone for the choices I made sexually. Even the misguided choice I made were my own and they bought me a greater understanding of myself sexually and what I will and won't accept. I tell my sisters global and blood please don't throw pearls before swine because they don't appreciate them. Just because it is acceptable to bed hop in this current day and age does not mean you shouldn't subscribe to that mentality. When you lay down with men who are just there for pure sexual gratification and they don't give a shit about you're well being, your person as a whole, nor do they love you in any sense of the word, you are just giving away a piece of you each time that can not be regained.

I like to think I straddle the lines of traditionalist, feminist, and yes even "whore" but the difference is I balance the percentage carefully and always in my favor. Its like cooking I know what ingredients to add to what and when to make it taste just right. I don't march around with a banner stating what I am, but its my actions and demeanor that tell you. Ultimately I believe that we are responsible for our images, I work very hard to keep mines intact. I work hard to make sure that when someone looks over my footprints the ones I leave behind me that they won't be marred by things that I am deeply ashamed of. That is my personal choice, I understand that fucked up people do fucked up things (pardon my language) but when do you make the choice to change and say you know what...what is motivating my actions to cause me to act like this? At some point in your life you reach a point of clarity where you come to some sort of realization about self. I know I did, doesn't everyone have that moment? I believe it hits you in your twenties and whatever triggers it be grateful for it, that is your life moment of clarity. You will have many and they happen for a reason, its when you DON'T have them that it is then cause for alarm!

Just my two little cents in the wide ocean that is the blogsphere make sure you check out my sisters thoughts on the matter at THE UNDERDOG LIFE