Saturday, January 24, 2009


I'm sure I might have mentioned this before but if I didn't I'm mentioning it again.I had a co-worker who met a man on the internet, and withing a month she had moved in with him within three months she was engaged and within a month of that she was married, and she acquired a job within the state that would help her erase the mans debt and prepare for them to get a house together and with that they started their life as man and wife. I will leave you to assess what her cultural and racial make up is. I believe that you will already know just based on the situation that was typed above. I type this to illustrate the simple fact that there is a vast cultural difference in the way love, commitment, and relationships are approached by different cultures.

A reader made the statement that many African-Americans don't live "European Style" meaning a two parent household, raising their kids, loving one another, supporting one another, and working for the common good of the household together. If you have been reading my blog for awhile then you already know how I feel about kids born out of marriage in the African-American community and the lack of marriage and love between black men and women period. You already know how I feel about black communities being eroded everyday, and the values that we should have as a people are lacking. It's like the farther we come socially the farther we go back emotionally. There are still things ingrained in our psyches in our very nature that have not been addressed. If you never acknowledge something how can you fix it? Many of the issues stem from generations of mental, emotional, degradation and oppression. It makes me ache inside when many in our culture would prefer to jump ship instead of stick it out and work it out.

I look at Sean Combs and I think all that money that you spend in child support you could be using to strengthen one household. You could be someones father full time not just part time showing a whole generation how it could be done, but no you rather procreate without responsibility because you have the money to do so. That is an ugly selfish way of living life. But he is not alone in his pursuits many men of color with wealth who have lost cultural identity or who pimp their cultural identity choose to procreate outside of their races, they choose to go through women because they can, they choose to treat those that have supported them as 3rd best and its tiresome and heartbreaking. It's like once you get enough money in your bank account to compensate for the melanin in your skin then you happily turn in your black card and skip to the other side with no looking back. I know that many especially in the black community want to sing and holds hands and be embraced and embrace the world/society at large and think that finally we are excepted have been absorbed into mainstream society and that we have overnight been giving equal footing and the same privileges as Caucasians have had since they landed on Plymouth rock, but again I see to you my brothers and sisters please wake up, we have much to work on within ourselves and communities before we are truly at that promised land. One man can not reverse nor roll back centuries of wrongs and oppressions, and damaged psyches.

Now don't get me wrong I know that when it comes to sex men prefer new yoni over old, I have even heard very ignorant and bias black men argue that white women's yoni's are pinker on the inside and therefore that's what they like the bright pinkness. I also know to many men yoni has no race factor attached to it, and as long as any woman lets them stab the womb they could careless what race she was attached to. While I think they should be more discerning in their taste I can't make that call for anyone. I hate to think of myself as the last one standing when it comes to dating, wanting, loving, black men exclusively but that is what I want in my life by my side until death parts us. I can not see myself with anyone else that is not what my heart calls for, that is not what speaks to my spirit. I never will understand how someone can look into the eyes of someone so unfamiliar cultural wise and feel love and a spark of sexual interest. I have even attempted just to see if I was programed wrong but nope non-black men do absolutely nothing for me. It also angers me when others question me as IF I am in the wrong because exclusively I love black men, as if I'm doing something wrong for stating that or wanting that.

I know the figures, I've heard the arguments I've read the stories and seen the television reports about it. The new phenomenon of black women marrying outside of their culture. Why is it such a news worthy story when black men and white men been doing it for years? When black women do it, it becomes a anomaly of sorts, news worthy. Something is very wrong with that, I always tell my brothers look at a persons motivation before you agree to go their way. I also tell them that if you cut something like coffee with milk you change the flavor and you weaken the strength of the coffee. Please don't come to my blog with that mixed babies are beautiful crap, black babies are beautiful also and all children are a blessing, but not everyone should be a parent! It has always been my assessment that until every cold civil rights case is solved, until the detriment of slavery has been properly acknowledge, along with white privilege, and until we as a people can get ourselves together culturally, and emotionally then I don't think we should be so happy to jump into the lap of someone else's culture because ours needs to still be worked on and this will be my platform my point of view until black people stop dumbing down and sweeping our emotional, mental, issues under the rug.

Allow me to introduce you to Tim Wise, this is the longer clip of him speaking if you have the time I advise you to watch it.

A smaller clip Tim Wise speaking.