Saturday, January 03, 2009


After feeling as if I was really losing my mind these past couple of days I really had to take stock within myself and conclude I probably am better left single. What I thought was something special turned out once again to be my imagination putting in overtime. I am the best at fooling myself when it comes to guys. See I have this thing where if they are talking about what they want in terms of relationships, kids, marriage, and its similar to what I desire instantly I'm trying on their last names and seeing stars and shit and then when it all falls through I'm devastated for like a day and then I keep it pushing. I'm just so tired of the whole experience. The whole feeling like I found something special only to realize its just common and everyone is peddling the same shit on every street corner. I realize I did it to myself someone who refuses to make me a priority but always a fucking option AT THEIR LEISURE is so not a good look so that's it 2009 has officially started on a flat note for me but I won't ever do that to myself again!

I guess I am guilty of still believing in fairy tales and at my age huh, sad I know. I should just learn that the fairy tale shit is strictly for the folks at Disney not a grown ass woman. They don't make fairy tales for grown ass black women they make movies like waiting to exhale for us. I really was trying to believe in love, black love, families, unity, community, all that but you know what black men I'M DONE! You have made this sista a believer fuck it, YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT US, YOU DON'T CHERISH US, YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN US, YOU DON'T WANT US, YOU DON'T SEE US,AND YOU CERTAINLY DON'T LOVE US. But who you do see as worthy of love is not a reflection of you not at all and if that is what you want then have at it. I am putting my black love flag down in the dirt and officially walking away from it. So if you see another love post from me, feel free to slap me in my comment section and remind me that love doesn't love ANYBODY!

All theses dudes talking but ain't nothing happening but sound, clue for the clueless if you want someone in your life you have to actually make an effort not this half effort type shit you dudes are doing these days! Long distance Relationships = pen pal, just talking to someone on messenger = pen pal, not actually making some kind of grown ass man effort to make it real in real time = fuckery on your part and its 2009 who the hell is still falling for this type shit? It was cute in 1998 but ummm yeah time to move on to new shit literally! So if you not making me a priority, not actually putting in an effort to be present in the flesh, WE HAVE NOTHING WHAT SO EVER TO TALK ABOUT! But when you tell someone that then you become the asshole or bitch because you refuse to feed into a delusional fantasy, this is what has put the nail in the coffin of love for me I'm good fellas you have officially made a believe out of the 78 Ms J, so Congrats! Let's pop champagne cause love is officially done.