Tuesday, December 30, 2008



What you have been waiting for so patiently is finally here, my end of the year nasty,naughty,raunchy post. If you are of the sort that can't handle a little bit of erotica then by all means skip these next two post because you will be highly offended. It's longer than a normal post so it will be in two parts, please leave comments and feedback.


He had been watching her for quite some time. He had observed a lot about her from the way she carried herself, walked, talked and even by the company she kept. He could see that she was very self conscience and it showed in her constant state of smoothing her clothes down, and patting her hair to make sure it was still in place, to the way she carefully and meticulously made sure that her make up was understated and not to bold or daring. She was a mousy type of women one who was all too happy to fade into the walls and not be seen. He thought it was rather a pity she wasn’t what the world would consider pretty for she was as plain Jane ordinary as they came but he could tell there was more to her than what met the eye. He was an expert on women and he had known many like her he knew her type well. It was his job to bring out the freak in her, he was the man husbands, boyfriends and in her case fiancés hired to tap into their women’s inner freak and unleash it. He had no official title just credentials his business was one of those businesses that were a necessary evil. The men that employed him were simply lazy men and his business thrived on them being lazy. The sort of men that hired him were men who more times than not had mistress’ and due to some sort of mishap on the men’s part now had to part with their mistresses but they didn’t want to part with the freaky aspect of their mistresses so these men sought him out and paid dearly for his services for he was an expert at what he did. In simple terms he was able to tap into any woman’s freaky nature and pull it out of her making her the sort of women these men wanted. A freak in the bedroom a lady in the streets, he hadn’t met a woman yet that was immune to his practices. He had even taken ladies that hated sex ladies who had no sexual nature at all and tapped into their inner freak he had given them back their carnal nature. The ladies would always be more grateful then their men for they truly would understood their sexual nature better, how to tap into it and how to rule with it if they so choose after his lessons were finished. Many of his clients had gone on to lead happy lives and some had become casualties of divorce. What the men seemed to never understand the ones that met with the fate of divorce were the simple fact that if you can’t please your woman and you aren’t going to even try then you will lose in the end. Many of the divorced men had to find this out the hard way. Thank goodness he always had an iron clad contract on his side. He was no fool he knew that many of the men he dealt with could double cross him at any time that’s why he always kept a small insurance policy insuring him from the men changing their mind or coming after him after the fact. He was a consummate business man and he had done everything he had always said he would do, he was a man of his word.

He now turned his attention back to the woman he was watching, she was on her lunch break he knew were she was going and what she would have she was very routine in her activities, a boring creature of habit she was. He smiled because soon he knew she would be so much more and he for one would be glad to see it. He had already set his plan in motion, looking at his watch he timed it to the second, at precisely 12:30 she would exit the restaurant and be on her way to a hotel where her life would be forever changed.

Jina Jordan was 29, the youngest investment banker at her investment firm and engaged to the man of her dreams. But deep down she was unhappy she was searching for something more but she didn’t know what, as she took her lunch break she was deep in thought. She was at her favorite lunch spot about to order her usual when the waitress gave her a card with her name on it. Jina didn’t think anything of it many of her colleagues and her fiancé knew she dined here on Thursday’s it was her routine she drew comfort from it she liked order. Jina opened the note and read what was inside and she immediately started shaking, snatching her purse up and running outside she saw a taxi idling at the curb this was her lucky day. She hurried in the back of the car and she told the driver to take her to the Lamont Hotel. Frantically Jina tried her fiancés phone and it kept going to voicemail, she then tried texting him. Jina was near tears, she looked at the note again it said:

If you want to marry your fiancé or ever see him again then you will immediately proceed to the Lamont Hotel and tell no one or your fiancé will be dealt with.

Jina called her fiancés job and it just rang and then his voicemail picked up, she tried all of his friends and she couldn’t reach anyone. She couldn’t imagine what was going on she was on the verge of breaking down. She hurriedly paid the driver and rushed into the lobby, as soon as she entered she heard the concierge call her by her last name,

“Ms. Jordan there is a phone call for you.” On shaky legs Jina proceeded to the phone and she picked it up off of its receiver. “hello.” She said breathlessly, on the other end of the phone a deep baritone answered her

“Ms. Jordon, if you wish to see your fiancé again you will follow my instructions to the letter, if not simply turn and walk back out the way you came. Do not ask me any questions all I want from you is either your full cooperation or if you choose to leave a goodbye.”

Jina thought for a split second and she said, “I’ll cooperate.” “Good” the voice said “then proceed to the bank of elevators on the left side and come to room 503 East tower.” Then the line went dead. Jina did as she was instructed, she got off the elevator and searched out room 503, and she stood there unsure of what she should do. She was scared, nervous and truthfully a little bit excited at what might be on the other side of the door. She hoped it was just her fiancé playing a trick on her, but she was anxious to find out all the same.

Jina put out her hand to knock but the door opened on its own accord she couldn’t see inside of the room it was pitch black but she stepped inside the door any way. Before her eyes could adjust to the dark she was blindfolded from behind and each of her arms were grabbed then she heard the voice.

“Ms. Jordan I am glad you could make it today your fiancé has arraigned for you to have some lessons, I will be your task master you are to engage in whatever I tell you too. There will be no questions on your part, your job is to be led where I see fit is that understood Ms. Jordan?”

Jina was terrified she didn’t know what the hell was going on but she wanted out and she wanted out now. “Look whatever your name is I don’t know what kind of lessons my fiancé paid you for but I don’t want any lessons and I want you to unhand me and let me go or you will pay dearly!” There was silence then she heard a voice speaking as if on audio the voice was that of her fiancés.

“Don’t get me wrong I love Jina dearly she is a sweet woman but she is so boring all she wants to ever let me do is missionary and the very thought of oral sex makes her freak out, I brought it up once and you would have thought I insulted her mother she got so offended she won’t even let me perform it on her. If you can’t loosen her up then I will have no choice but to break off our engagement as much as it pains me to but I am a man of certain needs and she just doesn’t meet those.”

Jina’s body stiffened and then sagged she loved her fiancé with all her heart and she wanted to please him, because she knew her fiancé was a man who was very rational for him to have resorted to these extreme measures he must have been very disappointed in her lovemaking skills and that hurt Jina to her soul. Jina felt like a fool, she was embarrassed and angry. She didn’t want to be forced into anything she was a strong woman she was independent and made good money how dare her fiancé think he could strong arm her into doing what he liked sexually. Then Jina thought about it she would show her fiancé since he had went to this great of a length to prove his point she would be up for the challenge, fuck it she had everything to lose so she had no choice but to go through with the proceedings.

“I see you have conceded defeat my dear, don’t feel ashamed many have walked in your shoes before. You will be a better woman for it I promise.”

Jina didn’t say anything she just nodded her head. “Shall we start my dear?” Jina nodded her head again, “very well my dear.”

Jina felt hands undressing her slowly she started to tremble were these people perverted freaks what were they going to do to her? She was nervous, scared and still just a little excited. After every stitch of her clothing was removed Jina was guided to what she assumed was the bed but she was wrong she was lead into a bathroom and put in a bath tub with warm water and bubble bath it smelled delicious and sexy a scent she had never smelt before, still blindfolded she was washed with a soft sponge ever inch of her was attended too her body started to relax on its own accord. Whoever was washing her was an expert in teasing touch it felt as if each of her erogenous zones were specifically teased with the sponge causing her skin to prickle and the hairs on her body to stand on end.

Her body was responding on its own accord Jina wanted to touch herself and blushed just thinking about it, here she was in the midst of strangers with who knew what was in store and she was getting turned on and agreeing to go through with whatever they had in store for her she figured she must be suffering from a mental break down on her own part. She had finally snapped she thought, just as she was about to talk herself in to leaving she felt a tongue in her ear, and then a kiss on her neck, in the spot that always got her hot Jina’s back arched and she gasped. Then she felt another set of lips on the other side of her neck, licking her gently and with urgency Jina’s breath started to get shallow. Her body was responding and she felt the fire of need in the pit of her stomach. Two hands were on her breast now playing with her nipples pinching them just hard enough to hurt with pleasure Read more...




one set of lips left her neck and begin to suck her right nipple lick, lick, suck, again gentle pressure this time with teeth firm enough to hurt and feel so good at the same time, Jina struggled not to moan, but she couldn’t help herself, one escaped her lips and she begin to squirm her body was on fire she was then lifted out of the bathtub and towel dried off. Still blindfolded Jina was led into what she assumed was the bedroom but she smelt and heard a fire place crackling. She was guided to walk unto what she felt like was fur under her feet, she was made to kneel into the thick pile of fur and then she was guided to lie down on the fur nearest the fire, she could feel the fire on her skin and it felt good. Her arms were put in handcuffs and lifted above her head she felt the steel cold of them brush her flesh and then worry began to creep back into her mind. But all thought flew out of her head as soon as she felt two hands begin to massage her flesh with what smelled like coco butter oil, every inch of her was oiled from neck to her feet. Jina’s body was on fire with desire she had never been so aroused in her whole sexual history put together. Jina felt two hands gently parting her legs and then she felt a finger brush her clit and her back arched of its own accord. Jina was wet she was wetter than she had ever been before. The first finger was joined by another finger and the fingers stroked her using circles and then long strokes she was panting with ecstasy Jina trust her pelvis to meet each stroke of the fingers touching her, then a finger was inserted into her vagina and it went deep and searched out her G-spot while the other finger proceeded to stroke her clit teasing her by doing slow circles prolonging the inevitable Jina was in arousal heaven she had never had a partner even the most considerate treat her body in such a manner. The finger in her vagina struck gold it touched her G-spot and Jina arched her body so high off the ground she felt like she was about to take off, the finger on the clit and g-spot worked together and brought Jina to orgasm she shook and trembled and came so hard she temporarily blacked out.

Jina didn’t know how long she had been out she didn’t even care her body felt different like she had had an out of body experience. Jina didn’t know if she was still handcuffed a tug of her hands showed her she still was and she was still blindfolded she didn’t know what they had in store for her now but she was more than ready for it. Jina sensed someone hovering over her and then she felt an ice cube on her nipple and then a warm tongue licking where the ice had just left then a suck with that gentle hurtful tug, this was repeated on both nipples until Jina was dripping wet again. Again her legs were parted and then she felt a light brush on her clit, then she heard a licking sound at the same time she felt the lick between her legs how delicious it felt. Her nipples were standing at a hard rigid attention so hard they could have cut glass. Her lower half was lifted off the ground and her legs were set on what she assumed were shoulders and she was ate out like she was a fine dish the mouth that was doing the oral pleasures was extraordinary it licked sucked twisted twirled even hummed and all Jina could do was breath hard and enjoy every lick, then she felt a finger get inserted into her vagina again the finger plus the tongue made Jina come as hard as before this time she felt her vagina squirt, she had never in her life done that thinking it was a cheap porn trick used to sell movies but she squirted all the same. Whoever was the oral pleaser got a face full and she didn’t even care normally she would have been embarrassed but that was the old her now she was the new improved Jina.

Jina’s lower half was lowered back down to the ground and she was cleaned up gently Jina felt deliciously dirty her body was craving more and she wanted to oblige it. She begin to squirm feeling for the first time the fur rug tickling her back, just as she was about to start speaking Jina heard a buzzing sound then she felt it on her clit, it didn’t take her long to cum again but the person didn’t stop after she came the instrument was kept on her and Jina just kept coming she didn’t even know she could come so much, she was enjoying herself as long as the buzzing kept on the more she came, finally the batteries ran down Jina was spent she didn’t think she could cum anymore. Her hands were unbound and lowered and then the handcuffs were put back on she was pulled up and walked over to a bed which she felt and heard when the sheets where pulled back Jina was picked up effortlessly and then put in the bed she lay back on soft sheets that smelled like lavender the bed was fluffy and soft. Jina closed her eyes and sank into a deep intense sleep.

Jina woke to being fucked her legs were wrapped around a waist and she could feel the biggest fattest dick she had ever had inside of her and it felt good he was drilling her hard and deep and she liked it. She was pushing all of her body into his she felt dirty and whorish and that turned her on even more. Her legs were unwrapped from around her partner’s waist and she was flipped over unto her stomach and he shoved his dick in her deep he grabbed her by her shoulders and pushed all the way inside her until he was buried inside Jina completely. She could feel the dick deep in her ribs the pleasure was intense she locked her legs around him backwards and proceeded to fuck him like she had never fucked before.

He squeezed her nipples and it drove her crazy he pounded into her and she wanted more he licked her back and then he smacked her on her ass hard enough to sting Jina started to feel herself about to cum again and her unknown partner must have been nearing his peak also because he begin to slow down which made Jina speed up. Then her partner withdrew his dick making Jina growl with anger. She needed to cum still being blindfolded and handcuffed made things worst Jina attempted to snatch off her blindfold when she was lifted off the bed clean into the air and then she was sat on her unknown partner’s stiff hard dick reverse cowgirl style. Jina groaned with delight and begin to move in her own rhythm her partner was back deep inside her filling her up like she had never been filled before she was acting like a brazen whore and she liked it. The excitement of being in control of her own movements as well as the hands playing with her nipples in the delicious hard but good way was turning Jina out so much so that she wanted to be talked dirty to, and she demanded it. “Talk dirty to me.” A voice that sounded vaguely familiar called her a whore, a slut, told her she was worst than a porn star, called her a dirty girl and the one thing that made Jina pump even harder on the strangers dick was when he said “I bet I’m writing my name on the inside of that pussy ain’t I girl! Tell me how much you like this dick, tell me you want me to fuck you like you’ve never been fucked before, tell me you like how this dick feels in that pussy, tell me bitch!” Jina moaned loudly and replied, “I love this dick, don’t stop, please don’t stop” she loved it she felt empowered she felt like she was finally free sexually for once. All of her polite upbringing had flown out the window and she had tapped into her inner sex kitten and her sex kitten was a bad bitch no correction her inner sex kitten was a vivacious whore who was now addicted to Cumming.

Jina came hard so hard in fact it knocked the wind temporarily out of her, as the waves of orgasms crashed in on her and then begin to subside Jina finally came back to her situation and surroundings, had she just cheated on her fiancé with some big dicked stranger, was this what her fiancé had had in mind when he chose this recourse for her did he know, would he find out? Was this his way of getting out of the engagement with her? Jina was confused and starting to really feel like a real whore, when the handcuffs were taken off and then her blindfold was removed and she was gently sat on the bed next to the big dicked stranger she had just finished fucking. Jina was scared to look over at the stranger because she was scared of what she would discover but she did it anyway and got the shock of her life it was her fiancé looking back at her. Jina was confused the sex with her fiancé had never been this intense and this good, a million questions raced through Jina’s mind. Jina’s fiancé could see she had a million questions so he got out the bed with is dick swinging by the fire light Jina could see just what he was working with and it amazed her she had had no idea all this time that her man was packing serious heat, and it made her feel ashamed all this time she had professed to love her man but she hadn’t even paid that much attention to his anatomy. Now that she thought about it she had fought her man on every aspect of their sexual relationship until it had become an issue which had made it so unenjoyable for both of them. Jina felt stupid, she had been missing out on the best of what her man had to offer all because she hadn’t wanted to give up any of her power in the relationship. Jina watched as her fiancé proceeded to play a tape of everything that had been done to her from the time she walked in the door up until now. Her fiancé had been her main partner the whole time and she hadn’t even known it. She felt like she had been deceived but she quickly got over it her body still tingled from her sex lessons and now that she knew what she was capable of she didn’t want to stop. Anxiously her fiancé watched her from across the room so Jina quickly pretended to have an attitude and when her fiancé saw her face his fell he rushed over to Jina and started trying to explain why he did it and Jina saw that he was sincere and she knew it wasn’t all his fault that had caused his to finally seek out drastic measures as her fiancé tried to explain his actions Jina’s attention drifted down the length of his body and her gaze rested on his penis that was still semi erect. What a beautiful penis Jina thought as she continued to stare at how smooth long thick and strong her fiancés Mandingo warrior dick was. All this time I have been missing out on all this she thought, what a fool I was she thought so Jena slowly sank to her knees and engulfed her mans penis in her mouth she took as much of it in as she could and she begin to pleasure him and the more he groaned and enjoyed it the more she did too. She wanted to please her man, and bring him as much pleasure as he had brought her Jina swirled her tongue around her mans shaft and then sucked the head like it was her favorite flavored lollipop tasting her juices on him mixed with his pre-cum was like tasting a sweet elixir is this what she had been missing out on all along? Jina felt cheated and tried to make up for lost time with her mouth, her man moaned and then she deep throated him again. She was happy to please her man, he was worth it.

Jina had learned her lesson well, and she and her fiancé even moved the wedding up preferring to have a small intimate ceremony and then an extended honeymoon at one of the beautiful islands with white sand and blue water. Jina was happy she was still a lady in the streets but she had learned to let out her private freak in the bedroom and her fiancé now husband was all the happier for it and so was Jina for that matter.


Saturday, December 27, 2008



This graphic is a real coloring page so feel free to get it and color it if you wish. Graphic found HERE

My favorite e-sisterMS. DULCE the high priestess of healing and nurturing(no really seriously she is) said I should do a lovely dovey-ish nice post and I'm thinking sure why not it's almost the end of this year so I can accommodate Ms. Dulce. so Dulce here we go all the love/niceness you can handle.

First and foremost I love my niece she turned 1 years old this month and she is so wonderful and extraordinary I hope she grows up to be whatever her mind, and heart can grasp.

I love my younger siblings even if they work my nerves each of them are talented, strong, precious, gifted and wonderful in their own right. I know I give them a lot of shit at times but I do it because the world is tough and I know that lesson better than anyone but I love them and will go hard for them no matter what.

The people that follow this blog and the readers that read here by chance and on purpose I appreciate you most of all its an exciting thing to have someone wanting to read the things that you write and caring enough to keep coming back that is a huge thing so humbly I say thank you.

Creativity is a beautiful thing if you have an imagination and you are creativity inclined that is a wonderful thing in of itself, so always think outside of the box! No need to be boxed in when you have creativity and imagination!

Love is a perfume, and it smells great...infatuation is a cheap knock off but it will get the job done until it either wears off or makes it to love, and lust is like a greasy burger all fat, taste good, but you will always regret it later! So find all the love your heart can hold, it's so worth it!

I feel grateful for life, and life's lessons its like battle strips I earned them all and it has shaped me into the person I am today and I have got to say I like me, even if some of you don't!

Coming soon will be a nasty sexalicious gutter butt just raunchy post so if you are easily shocked might not want to read it but I said I was going to do one for the end of the year and I don't want to go back on my word I want to push my limits and stretch my imagination so look out for that post coming soon!

Well Ms. Dulce I hope this satisfied your love post quota lol.

P.S. Oh the joy that is HIM...way too old to be feeling like this but what a rush, makes my skin tingle, my scalp prickle, and my nerves stand on edge, ugh I said I would stop crushing but I can't help myself, so here we go again. Trying not to feel like this but I can't help myself...if he calls me baby one more time...

Anywho we are going into a new year, a new president, a new first-lady and family, we are heading into the future and I am excited a new year means new possibilities and new excitements, can you feel it people...excitement is a wonderful thing be possibility!

This is a coloring page also feel free to use it as such.


Wednesday, December 24, 2008



Dear rappers and Shayfer:

And everyone else hollering about how you make your own cash and can pay your bills on time that's great that's what your supposed to do so why all of a sudden is it a new thing and you feel the need to big up yourselves about it? We get it you have money and you're proud you pay your bills, so? Why is that so news worthy? Why do we have to have whole songs and movements dedicated to mofo's paying their bills? I don't give a shit if you can pay your bills I don't want to hear a whole song about you paying your bills or you having your own THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO IT'S NOT SONG, NEWS, OR BRAG WORTHY! Ordinary people do not go around talking about how they pay their bills on time they pay them and they move on because they come around every damn month.

I understand that as a man with a little bit of money you are worried about women and men using you for your stacks but look here some of y'all already trick off money, and don't pay your own bills, your houses get repossessed, your cars get repossessed, and then you end up in the blogs shamed and trying to save face talking shit about how someone screwed you over money wise but guess what that's your fault! If you don't know how much you're worth and trust all your money to someone else you will get ripped off and screwed! That's just fucking sense but like I always say sense is not common. So look rappers and ne-yo aka Shayfer smith this is what I want you to do, find yourselves some women that has her own stacks and can afford to buy whatever she like and all she need from you is some dick but do me a favor stop talking about the shit. You are giving the simple minded the wrong idea and they are taking it and running the shit into the ground! Go some where and be their fuck buddy and sit it down for a spell, please and thank you now have a very happy holidays, and please let's enter this new year with a new music agenda, no bitches, no hoes, no talking about independence because that's a given, and please no talking about your swagger, how much you spend on shit that rapidly depreciates and has no value, it's tired and I'm tired of hearing it. Get it together in the new year if you have any problems or questions or need some inspiration about what to rap about please feel free to drop me a note.

From your urban resident BPYT



Dear Random ass men and men that have been on my yahoo messenger and Aim for years:

I felt I should address you all here because it just suited the purpose and I can give you the post link so that you can read it and absorb it better. Look this is going to be a brand new year and if you have been claiming to hold a torch for me, talking about being in a relationship and then disappearing and popping up when its convenient for you, wanting to have sex with me, telling me I'm the woman of your dreams and all that other bullshit, save it! I'm over it and you should be too, you have had countless years, and many chances and you have not made it happen your fault! I refuse to enter another year with the same dead dicks on my messengers talking the same bullshit it frustrates me and irritates the hell out of me causing me to release my inner bitch recklessly and curse you out accordingly. If you get this post in your messenger box that means you have been kicked off the might-ever-get-a-chance-to-be-put-on-my-team because you talked nothing but shit and didn't even make half an effort to come and scoop me. Furthermore don't act like this is out of the blue and from left field, I don't want to hear another word linking me and you in any kind of relationship/sexual type setting it is officially a dead issue! You are officially lame and at this point you should seek other options or hell just keep it moving either way it's been real but not real fun! If you take this into your psyche and file it accordingly and from this point on change your ways I would appreciate that, if you continue to talk reckless about how you want to beat it up and all the things you wish you could do to my body and anything else but we both know you won't ever back it up you will be ignored and I will forget you were ever even born, so with that said adjust yourself accordingly. Thank you and enjoy your holidays!


Monday, December 22, 2008



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First and foremost dear reader I appreciate you thinking enough about my opinion to want to ask me about something that is so personal and I hope that you don't mind me putting it here on the general form.

I think that a lot of people especially young women come to sort of crossroads at a time in their lives especially since the marriage age for women of color have dropped significantly lower than any other ethnic group (assuming you are a woman of color) there is this perception in our community and in society in general that being a loose booty type of women is good and that the more sex you have the better off you will be, but my question becomes good for who? How is it good to have so many random dicks going in and out of you,and random sex? What about a woman's reproductive health, what about diseases, and gynecological factors that come into play when you have all that random dick sticking in and out of you??? Plus don't we have enough single parent households? How does that help one with self esteem, feeling valued, feeling like you can trust your partner let alone give the most intimate part of you away? And please trust because sex has become so undervalued by society doesn't mean you have to subscribe to the same thoughts and value system. Any woman should evaluate who she is sharing her sheets with and for what reason, don't let peers or anyone else tell you what you should do with your body. You don't have to have sex with different gentlemen to know what you like, but because you should know your own body there are many options to explore. Take this time by yourself as a self exploring phase get to know what turns you on, explore different ways of touching yourself intimately, see what your limits are, etc. you just might surprise yourself. Plus sex has a learning curve, there are books, videos, even classes that you can take.

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My suggestions are as follows:

1. Stop listening to married friends because they are wishing that the were still single and so they are living vicariously through you and they sound real hoodrattish also!

2. Invest in some quality toys, pocket massagers, anything that vibrates, videos, build up a nice little stash of pleasure items for yourself, there are plenty companies that email products discreetly and the companies use generic names, you can even order intimate devices from drugstore.com. IF all of that sounds overwhelming, then there are still your fingers or take it old school and get to humping, its all practice! Also think about investing in a shower head that has multiple speeds and pulses, and get clean and dirty at the same time.

3. In this day and age there are plenty online dating sites that are legitimate, I would suggest you explore that option also, especially the higher end sites that request that members pay that way the people are like minded and more serious about what they are looking for versus just wanting to waste your time.

4. I suggest forming a group of single lady friends and hitting some night spots, sports bars, dance clubs, professional after hour bars in the working district of your city, getting together with a group of friends at your church and starting a singles ministry.

5. Smile often it is true that you don't know who could be falling in love with your smile from afar. Dress with care always put your best foot forward, do nice things for yourself, get your hair, nails and feet done, it will make you feel like a million bucks, if you wear make-up try some new shades accent your best facial feature and frame it like a picture, buy a girly lacy even naughty bra and pantie set and wear it on a normal occasion it will make you feel so womanly and sexy, and men will see that and be attracted to that and fall all over themselves to get to know you.

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Last but not least confidence, the way you carry yourself, the way you look people firmly in their eye, the way you walk standing straight up and carrying yourself like a million bucks the more the right kind of person you want will be attracted to you. Remember dating never means you have to have sex with a person, you can catch a movie with a guy, go to dinner, even just walk around the park, but dating doesn't mean sex, it means enjoying the company of the opposite sex in the getting to know you phase if dating one on one feels like too much pressure then even having a group date is not such a bad thing it gives you a safety net where you can ease back into dating, you will be more relaxed, that way you can put your best foot forward on your date. Important rule of thumb though go with a girlfriend that you trust who won't put you on front street, or try and make herself look better in the fellas eyes or monopolize all the attention the whole night. I know I sound old fashioned but I don't see anything wrong with taking it back old school, somethings are too new school for me.

Also we all have our own set of insecurities but the key to mastering that is to think of all the things you have going for yourself, and keep it as a list on your person if you have too and whip it out when ever you need reassurance, when you are unsure and feel insecure it causes you to undervalue yourself and thus resulting in poor decisions. Even the most beautiful have flaws they just have a glam squad that takes care of that for them, plus photoshop!

Dear Reader I hoped this helped, I also hope that you take time for yourself this holiday season and splurge on yourself even if it's just a little bit. Remember you are the best because God simply doesn't make junk! We are made in his image and no matter the flaw, the issue, the problem we are still Queens, and Kings it's just sometimes our crowns get a little tarnished from everyday living. Please be blessed and remember to take what you can use and what works for you and disregard everything else.

Links that will take you where you need to go:




Friday, December 19, 2008



Dear S.

Long time no talk with you but you decided to find me again so welcome back lets us see where we end up the 2nd time around. You're a sweet guy I sense that, I also sense a little bit of sadness in you. I think its noble you want to change the world and uplift black folks, but your one man. Your heart is big and even though your back is strong and your shoulders broad they aren't strong enough for the task you want to undertake. I love your superhero syndrome but what about just being there for that one special person? I think at the end of the day...you will find what your looking for. Maybe you came back around so I could point you in the right direction...maybe you came to help me out maybe we will be each others compass... maybe this is a second chance for redemption, or maybe just a nice way to clean up an old mess.

I really don't know the reason you asked me to write a post about you...maybe you just wanted to feel a little important...maybe you just wanted some spotlight to shine down on you if just for a fleeting moment, or maybe you wanted to be immortalized on the internet...like I said I don't know your motivation but I'm trying. I do appreciate the talks we have even if it's just words filling up empty hours that don't amount to much. It's almost like I reached out for you, or you heard me in your dreams...yea as crazy as that seems. I like how you try and give me sweet sentiments even though I bust you every time when you try and write out a mack line, it's still sweet in an underhanded way. I will always remember when I asked you what you were thinking about and you said my happiness as if you were responsible for it. That put a smile on my face even if it was just a fleeting sentiment.

Even if you are gossamer and I called you up with my spirit I appreciate the talks we had in this last month of this year. I appreciate you appreciating my smile, and I love how you love your family even before yourself. A beautiful fault to have, I know this probably isn't what you had in mind but...this is what came out. I hope it put a smile on your face and I hope it made your day.

Sincerely ME.

P.S. Remember when you made that statement and I said "Right." What I wanted to say was if you were sincere, if you were for real, if you meant it with all your heart...then I hope it happens.

P.S.S if you make the mistake of doing something so jacked up that I have to retract this post you will regret it! Don't take the song literally it just went with the title.

This quote made me think of you, look how it found me like you did again...strange.
Only a life lived in the service to others is worth living." ~ Albert Einstein


Wednesday, December 17, 2008



So you think because you cut your cellphone off that big brother can't eavesdrop on you, WRONG! Check it out:

The government has had its hands in everything since co-intel-pro we don't really live in a democracy we live in a republic type government, we get enough rope to hang ourselves with and then the government steps in and reigns the people back in. If the government was really ran by the people then there would be no need for the senate nor the house of representatives. The government just keeps extending its reach and taking the little "liberties" it extended to appease the masses. As long as we keep our creature comforts no one is the wiser until it's directly in your backyard but then by that time its too late. The matrix we live in is alive and well! Read more...

Monday, December 15, 2008



Evidence One: Jimmy Cozier a whole song dedicated to the love of his crazy ass girlfriend.

Evidence Two:

Evidence Three:

When the question was asked on TWITTER Why are men attracted to crazy women I got a variety of responses.

What the fellows on the twit line had to say:


well sex iz addictive as u know it's great 2 make luv 2 a women who goes there with u..and drama is exciting even when not wanted


crazy women.... are the devil. period

when in a relationship with someone you get "more" of that crazy shit all the time, so it just looks like their plain nuts

oh yeah i am attracted to crazy women but then again i think that most wom...err nvrmnd* throws grapplin hook swings like batman*

From men in my immediate family, and from what I have observed with friends and associates and seen even in the media (lefteye r.i.p) it seems like the more extreme the women is the more she gets. Most men love crazy controlling women, ones who flip out, get buckwild, cuss you out, brick your car, bleach your clothes. Some women even go so far extreme that they beat themselves up and say you did it, pretend that they're pregnant to get a ninja to stay when they either are not pregnant or they are but it's do-dirt's baby and not yours, but that little nugget of info is left out until years later.

While nice calm non-drama having, manage-to-keep-crazy at bay women get ignored and overlooked. Is it truly the sex? The unpredictability of a crazy woman's nature that turns a man on? Is it the drama filled relationships the constant instability that give men a rush? It's all of the above I'm assuming the thrill of it all the constant emotional roller coaster, plus throw in if she has any substance abuse problems, the uninhibited sex, the devil may care attitude the living on the edge of your seat mentality. Men eat it up with three spoons while some may get tired of it and move on to real relationships others marry the dag on chick and then wonder why they never have peace in their house with their spouses. Plus the more aesthetically pleasing a woman is the more a man will put up with from her! In the land of mandom I'm sure it makes perfect sense but I'm sure I will never fully understand it, or maybe it's the fact that I don't want to understand it. If you chasing crazy and it's exciting to you and you like it then don't complain when crazy turns into psycho and now you hiding out and watching over your shoulder getting nervous when your burglar alarm gets to ringing!

I know I didn't change anything with this post wasn't a life changing post but what I do want to tell the men out there in the world with the current climate of economy instability that we are in, it's better to tread lightly versus waking up in an alley worked over by goons from a crazy chick! Or getting drugged and robbed while you are handcuffed to your bed or the drain pipe. Crazy isn't worth your life, and it's better to get out in the beginning when you see those red flags instead in the end when she has busted your windows, slashed your tires, called and came up to your job, called your boys all up, sat outside your house... is that drama really that enticing?!?!? Even as I type this I know some man out there in the world is saying, "hell yeah it is!"

Evidence Four: Avant, now his chick cheated but because he broke up with her she went through all that just to get some payback?!?!? That crazy was there from the gate he just ain't seen it cause she was a freak!

Saturday, December 13, 2008



Dear lady O,

First and foremost welcome back to team chunk, while you were gone we missed you. 2ndly since you are the voice for the people please tell them again for the slow witted that dieting while a cute way to drive yourself completely insane never works. It is in fact a slow form of torture just an unhealthy way to over obsess over your body.

Since sense is not common let me share a few tidbits with you as far as nutrition goes, it's the calories you consume, minus your output and when you add into the equation a under active thyroid gland that equals a hard row to hoe. Diets never work unless you plan to eat like that solely for life. With anything in life its about moderation, but since the diet industry is a billion dollar industry no one will listen to reason and the general public would much rather read the labels on boxes, measure all its food, starve yourself, take pills that promise to shrink your waist line, buy ab machines that promise to give you a 9 pack, or buy tapes with perky instructors telling us how high to kick that knee. Meanwhile American's get fatter, the get sadder, and the diet weight loss establishment get's richer. When there is no real solution and just a lot of gimmicks, helped with a healthy dose of shame, and unrealistic aspirations given to the masses you get a yo-yo effect, because if all these diets, pills, exercises, gyms, solutions worked wouldn't we all be a one sized world?

Lady O I applaud your candor at sharing your weight with the world because you didn't have too and I don't think personally its anyone's damn business what dress size you wear. I however would not have went on television and told them a specific number, I simply would have said that I have gained some weight due to the holidays and winter months and appealed to all the other non-beyonce regular women in the world who have done the same and then I would have started January with a new outlook a cute workout wardrobe and a fun way to workout while looking cute.

Also since you are back on team chunk for at least a little while this is your time to tell these designers to get their team chunk design on, stop hating on bigger women. And have no fear if you want to be stylish simply call Monique she can find you a hot couture big girl gown in a minute. She is the queen of pretty plus sized fashion and there are plenty places that cater to plus sized women with elegant affordable dresses not the ugly tents of yesteryear that no one wanted to wear. I know you were living the "skinny" dream and you thought your team chunk days were over but Lady O fear not this does not mean your life is less meaningful nor over it just means there is more again for you to love.

This is also the perfect time to tell the world that in order to truly have a healthy relationship with ones self you have to love the skin your in no matter if it's a size -0 or if its a size 20 and beyond. Stop listening to the negative people, the doomsayers, the so called taste makers and tune into yourself. There will be plenty of people telling you how bad you have done, how ashamed you should be, and giving you all kinds of bad body get skinny quick advice, and please Lady O whatever you do please do not go on the crazy broads who design bad clothes lemonade diet. I can only hope that you might goggle yourself often and that this open letter to you might come up but if not I wrote this with you in mind.

Signed a member of team chuck, who still thinks you look fab even if the world is telling you otherwise.

P.S. It seems like in this society there isn't a balance there are young girls killing themselves to look skeletal the newest craze to hit youtube is called thinspiration videos full of anorexia starved young women who think food is there enemy. Dear Lady O if there was ever a time to try and crusade and save the world it would be now. In case a person comes across this particular blog, the thinspiration craze is unhealthy! Read more...

Friday, December 12, 2008



Hey my most favorite people (Dulce and my Sis) and the rest of my readers random and regular who read this blog. I know the last post was all venty but I had to get it out my system so I could get right/write and try and get back in the season of things.

December is the month of endings. We get one big holiday before it ends we reflect we think back we ponder the things that are going on in our life, we make changes and assessments and we plan for the new year accordingly. I know for me I pray that my life goes in an upswing and I pray that with the new president and the renewed sense of hope that the president makes us all feel we will all do our parts to make this world just a little bit better. (Trying hard to be optimistic)

With that said I wouldn't be me without saying I know we all are having times and I am not addressing those of you that are I am specifically talking too those mini moguls who spend money on things like it's water. Those that buy 300.00 dollar shirts and pants each without even blinking an eye. IF you don't do one solid unselfish thing this holiday at least give a 50.00 to a local charity, volunteer some time to help kids who have nothing.  Hell if you want to help a black girl who is down on her luck but is a well intentioned soul, who could greatly use all donations big or small then please feel free to drop some holiday love in my paypal account by hitting the neglected and ignored donate button to your right at the top of the first column...yeah that one it works it's not just a pretty application (typed with luv of course).

If the world could care about SAVING KARYN why can't it concern itself with a down on her luck 78msj and if it makes you feel any better I didn't run up any bills shopping, drinking starbucks, are getting mani and pedis, I was just trying to make ends meet that were not made of elastic and got popped by that rubber band called life! I am a worthy celeb (in my own mind) cause. Any and all donors will get you a personal shoutout and some kind of video dedication music of course and if you want to include an email address well an email will also be shot your way.

Last but not least I know plenty of talented youth like my LITTLE BRO and now my Godsister TIA P. has her first single out called GO, find it on itunes and amazon.com. I must say it is easier to pull up on itunes then it is for amazon.com if anyone knows the trick to finding it on amazon leave me a comment. Otherwise despite the economic ish going on in the world cherish the things most important, family, friends, loved ones, pets, and good times. Read more...

Wednesday, December 10, 2008



I feel like after a certain age certain things you just should know better, when you are in your twenties then sure it's that between time from teenager to real adult so go ahead trial and error your butt off, but once you get to that 30 mark you should know better, and do enough in your twenties to have fun but you gotta keep your eye on the prize because after 29 there are no do overs. Shit is what it is! You should have spent your twenties discovering what path you wished to take in life and setting your eyes upon the future that's what your twenties are for. By the time your 30th birthday comes around you should be ready to be a full adult, putting behind you all hood rat, ghetto mentalities, establishing your career, or business, setting sights on getting your first house and hopefully if your blessed at least engaged. Ideally that is the way it should go but see to me that IS MY IDEAL on how it should work the fucked up part is hindsight is a bitch! I went through my twenties directionless just floundering, in my youth I wasn’t so wise I didn’t see things clearly like I should have. I was distracted and I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. Now at 30 I have all of these hindsight but now it’s like too little too late. My life is all fucked off and it just doesn’t seem to be getting any better.

My Madre for one doesn't think that I am hard enough on myself, simply because I don't give her the pleasure of beating up on myself in front of her. I stay in my room a lot behind a closed door and unless you are inside my psyche you can't know how I perceive myself. I spend a lot of time in thought, agonizing, reflecting, looking at different angles as to how I am going to change my life, take it in a different direction, pick the pieces up. No one but I am concerned with myself. But I guess since I hold everyone else up to my same standards I am considered being judgmental. When I don't understand someone’s life decisions and I can't empathize with someone because they had all these tools at their disposal but they choose not to use them I can't feel sorry for them I am then called heartless, cruel, even said to have a black heart. When someone who doesn't have messed up credit has an able body, an able mind, and even a set of employment skills but they won't get a job, they refuse to find employment BUT want everyone to bend over backwards and help them I'm supposed to have symptom for someone like that?

it’s funny how this one person on my twit line told me I should get a part time job I was like well shit why didn’t I think of that (insert extreme sarcasm) I’ve applied for jobs big and small, state, federal, government, even a company I got fired from same parent company different branch. I keep taking test after test, and either getting wait listed, or just plain out refused the job. I’ve applied out of state, in state, big small, part time full time, my resume is constantly in rotation, over flooded on job board sites if someone sends me info about a job then I get on it. I want to work! Yes I applied for seasonal positions, walking the local mall, even going down to la and putting out feelers out there. It’s triple hard when you don’t have transportation, no transportation money, and no way to get money. In my world since I don’t have kids its either get a job or go without.

God it’s so easy for people just to say to me well get a job like I don’t want one, like I haven’t been looking, like I wasn’t looking when I had a part time job, like I wasn’t trying to go back to school, but no money can’t pay fees, can’t buy books, what about financial aid; just pays for my classes still have to come up with the admission fees, and then again there is the transportation issue. I have all of these people who have all of these suggestions but no real help. This other chick on my twit line told me to go apply down in Venice Beach, I don’t live anywhere near Venice Beach, she then suggested I try and be a stewardess, after that point I just sort of tuned her out. I can apply for every job under the sun but:

1. Credit checks: are a major issue, but the fucked up part is if your credit is fucked but you can’t get a job how can you fix it? Someone has yet to explain that too me. On an interview for a job this perky white lady said to me “well if you at least send them something it shows a willingness to fix it.” I just nodded my head because of course when YOU HAVE NO JOB you have no income but maybe I am speaking Turkish. In the same interview the white man said to me well we can’t hire a person in the government with bad credit because it becomes an integrity issue. You become more susceptible to bribery. You are more tempted to steal when your credit is bad.

2. Weight discrimination: my mother, my grandmother, my third cousin all of them have said well your weight is probably keeping you from getting a job also. So fat people don’t have to work? They can just sit at home and just curl up in a ball and die? I know the whole world wants fat people to just go away for feel ashamed or some shit but the majority of the world is fat, fuck get over it. If you want the whole world to be one size then they need to come up with a plan to ban all fast food, develop a pill that makes everyone the same size, and then come up with a pill to make everyone the same color fuck diversity. If we are all the same size, all the same color, then all our problems would be solved and the world would be a much better place right????? Fat discrimination is done subtly but its done everyday I am up against more mountains literally then others but I keep putting in applications I keep applying I keep on keeping on but it’s netting me no results.

All things stem from money you can’t do shit in this lifetime without fucking money. They say you shouldn’t have just one stream of income coming in I have a ZAZZLE store that I sell products from but that is extremely slow money. I might get someone that buys something like every blue moon. I also love arts in crafts but that takes money. I am always trying to figure out something that one great break through for me, that something that will turn my life around. I keep thinking and thinking I don’t know who I should pray too, or what I should do to get there, and please know that I write not for sympathy because I know everyone is going through something I write because I love it and I think its great if someone even reads what I write it would be great if someone happened upon my blog and thought that I wrote well enough to offer me a publishing deal or some sort of job working in the publishing world even if it was getting the damn executives their coffee. I wish a lot of things would happen but wishes don’t come true for people like me because I’m just an ordinary everyday run of the mill type girl and miracles and wishes don’t exist in my world. Read more...

Wednesday, December 03, 2008



MY BROTHER WAS ROBBED! Once again the dickheads at the guitar center can't see the talent that my brother has, once again they have blatantly disregarded my brother like he doesn't live and breathe drumming. Like he didn't KILL everyone who he went up against last night. I don't know what the hell they are grading him on but something is seriously wrong with the judges and this fucking competition. Every year that he has entered it has always been something. Every year they act like my brother who has been playing drums since age two, who has his own set, who played for his high school band all four years, who on Sundays plays drums for church, who can out play any of the drummers he comes against old head drum dudes be in awe of his talent. What the fuck?!?!?! So how can one suck ass competition not see his talent? How can they keep robbing him time and time again? Tony Royster Jr. a young dude who started out like my brother sat there and judged my brother last night and found him not worthy! You serious? The old dude from Blondie sat there and judged my brother and found him not worthy again you serious?

I really thought this year was going to be different but I guess not, I guess I was lulled into a false sense of security I knew he had this on level of the competition on lock and my brother confirmed it when he played and he had to go FIRST! He blew everyone away per usual, he was the only one dressed like a decent young man everyone else came in jeans and t-shirts. He was so gracious when he lost me on the other hand not so much. I was pissed off cursing and I really wanted to knock some of the displays down. My brother even took a picture with the wack ass dude that is Tony Royster Jr. because he is one of the dudes my brother admires. Even when the announced the winner the dude they gave it too was shocked cause he knew he wasn't the best drummer you should have seen his face. This competition, the store, the judges this is solely from the drummers sister but you assholes were wrong and once again you can eat a sick dripping dick! I don't care what band you're from, I don't care who you went on tour with, and I really don't give a shit who your father is, if you can't recognize clear cut talent when you see it then you're worthless and all your talent amounts to nothing.

I even waited to write this post so that my anger would be less sever but nope it's like indigestion burning in my chest this shit is insane I woke up still mad, and still with a sense of unserved justice. I just really don't understand. I don't. I don't get it at all, the only thing I can see them trying to ding him on is when he played a little bit of Rhianna but that was just like .5 seconds just a smidge to show that he had variation in his style. It's not even like he played the whole song. Even if they tried to ding him for that it should have been like 1/2 a point off at least everyone else that went after my brother was weaksauce! WEAKSAUCE.

If you're a musician I can't tell you what you should or shouldn't do but I would boycott the Guitar Center, that's just my opinion but if you hit them in their pockets maybe they would realize that they once again robbed someone who has talent, technique and style. Who's personable also, humble, and gracious even in the face of obvious and blatant denial of talent. I really could see if my brother was some poot butt kid who was just unpolished and just some marginal type drummer. But even on his worst day he could play circles around the other dudes he went up against last night. I hear him play drums, I watch him play his drums he has even volunteered and went back to help the kids in his high school he graduated from last year during the summer. He was drum major for two years of high school I mean for real? He watches drum videos like they are bet uncut videos just drinking in the technique and style of other drummers. He's a great, gracious, and talented kid, who even has a damn hearing disability but that has never ever stopped him from doing what ever he needed to do in life. In fact he doesn't even lean on his disability it's like not even an issue, he hasn't ever tried to collect S.S.I for it, he hasn't ever tried to milk the system none of that. He's just a normal kid who just lives his life and what God left out in hearing he added in talent.

I just don't understand how people could not see my brother and recognize him for the obvious star he is? It's an ugly thing when you truly seek to rob someone of their greatness. It's an ugly thing when you keep telling someone who is great that they are not worthy of some dinky ass shit that's not even like huge. It's an ugly thing when the people who work at the Guitar Center say to me "your brother was robbed! He was the best one up there!" Now if the employees can see that why couldn't the judges? All my brother could say was it just wasn't his time, and that is was okay, he wasn't even mad. I was the one angry I had enough anger for me and him, even a professional drummer who is a friend of the family said that my brother was robbed he was so disturbed by this blatant sham of a contest he didn't know what to do.

I'm still so angry about this it's going to take a long time for me to let this go. I don't care what happens to me or what people say against me because its not that big of a deal, but when you mess with family, then we have a whole other set of issues, and when you can't recognize talent for what it truly is then to me you're dead and buried. You have ceased to exist if ever I need anything music wise I will not be buying it from Guitar Center trust and believe. They have fucked this family over for the last and final time.


Tuesday, December 02, 2008



ONE NAME:WALE (insert swoon here) ever since SINCERE THOUGHTS put me on this D.M.V. artist it has been love ever since. I have been checking for him like a pimp checks his girls on the track and it's not lust it's pure unadulterated infatuation Oh Wale If you goggle yourself I hope this post comes up and we can do the lovebird thing because yea I love you! Plus you actually got something to talk about when you on the mic not just rapping about bling and things I appreciate that and my ears appreciate that! Oh wale (insert another swoon)has made quite a name for himself mostly as a mix tape artist grinding in the D.M.V. area Wale has been on his grind awhile, he's in my vibe magazine every time I open it though promoting LRG also I believe he might have a deal with Nike so go head Wale make that money don't let it make you! Wale was also in the roots video with Chrisette Michelle now he has his own full length honest to goodness video me likey! WALE'S MYSPACE ummmm Wale, since I am putting you on him there is no excuse for listening to anymore wackness.