THANK GOD FOR FATHERS

Happy fathers day hugs and kisses to all the fathers who are in their children's lives even when they hate they babies mommas, even when they are overseas defending their country, even though they might be working today, even though they might not be shit at all. Unless you were a test tube baby someone donated some sperm to an egg to make the chemical compound that solidified into they walking mass that is before us today. So in honor of all that and in spite of everything take a moment to reflect on Fatherhood, as a nation and as you reflect on the men in your life that were father figures or the lack thereof of having a father figure.

 Reflect on why there isn't more strong Black, Hispanic, minority men in the homes? Why are there so many broken homes with just one parent? How can we break this negative cycle? How can we change what has already become way too accepted in todays society? How can we make our households better, raise happy healthy children in a two parent home, and repair and take back our families? What kind of steps do we need to take as a community, as minorities that need to take care of our own inside issues?  If their is no father in your home for your children today then instead of being eaten up by negative emotions take the time to reflect, let this be a time of pro-activeness, where can you go to put the wheels of change in motion? How can you break the cycle? What steps can you take to break familial curses? Just some things to think about in regards to fathers today. 

CLICK THIS FOR THE FATHERS WEBSITE

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STOP EXPECTING SWINE TO APPRECIATE YOU

The simplest concept in the world, the one we should always reflect on in everything we do is that:

EVERY CHOICE, EVERY ACTION, HAS A REACTION. 

We as human.beings make choices, we do things out of spite, out of anger, out of malice, out of kindness, out of love, out of sadness, out of loneliness, out of sacrifice, sometimes we do things because we don't know how to do any better. Whatever motivates you and drives you to do the things that you do understand for that choice you will make, you have made, there will be an outcome there is no escaping this.

People tend to think about themselves first and then others last, when you make a decision and you think it is only affecting you, you should ask yourself:

Self: This decision that I am making here right now how will it impact those around me, a year from now, five years from now, how will it affect my children's futures, will it have an affect on the way I am perceived,  Lastly but the most important questions are how will this affect someone who loves me? Will it cause emotional distress, physical pain, will this little bit of pleasure bring me a moment of happiness but a lifetime of pain?

I of course have to digress because simply human.beings are emotional selfish creatures we do what feels good, we do what makes us happy damn the consciences, damn what anyone else thinks and then we want to argue, curse and fight once the consciences rears its ugly head. We paint ourselves into corners because we are by nature selfish.

There is a principle called Personal Responsibility that states:

Accepting personal responsibility includes:

* Acknowledging that you are solely responsible for the choices in your life.

* Accepting that you are responsible for what you choose to feel or think.

* Accepting that you choose the direction for your life.

* Accepting that you cannot blame others for the choices you have made.

* Tearing down the mask of defense or rationale for why others are responsible for who you are, what has happened to you and what you are bound to become.

* The rational belief that you are responsible for determining who your are, and how your choices affect your life.

* Pointing the finger of responsibility back to yourself and away from others when you are discussing the consequences of your actions.

*Realizing that you determine your feelings about any events or actions addressed to you, no matter how negative they seem.

* Recognizing that you are your best cheerleader; it is not reasonable or healthy for you to depend on others to make you feel good about yourself.

* Recognizing that as you enter adulthood and maturity, you determine how your self-esteem will develop.

* Not feeling sorry for the "bum deal" you have been handed but taking hold of your life and giving it direction and reason.

* Letting go of your sense of over responsibility for others.

* Protecting and nurturing your health and emotional well being.

* Taking preventive health oriented steps of structuring your life with time management, stress management, confronting fears and burnout prevention.

* Taking an honest inventory of your strengths, abilities, talents, virtues and positive points.

* Developing positive, self-affirming, self-talk scripts to enhance your personal development and growth.

* Letting go of blame and anger toward those in your past who did the best they could, given the limitations of their knowledge, background and awareness.

* Working out anger, hostility, pessimism and depression over past hurts, pains, abuse, mistreatment and misdirection. 

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/14698-accepting-personal-responsibility/#ixzz0q7WpadVF 


I

June 6,

Give not that which is holy to dogs. Neither cast ye your pearls before swine - Matthew 7:6

Should we wear our most expensive outfit to a mud fight? Why then do we continue to place ourselves in jobs, situations, and relationships that ruin our peace, health, and self-value? Should we leave our most valuable possession unguarded in a public location? Why then do we place our minds and bodies in the reach of those persons and situations with a demonstrated history of abuse or neglect? We are, to ourselves, the most valuable possession we have. Yet we waste our time, energy and sometimes our lives in worthless situations among people who are unworthy. We must value our ideas, our energy, our time and our life to such an infinite degree that we become unwilling to waste who we are. If we put on our best and go to a mud fight, we can expect to get dirty. If we place our head in the Lion's mouth, we should expect to get eaten.

I Am very valuable to me. 

I always say that no one can do anything to you unless you allow them too. If you are throwing your pearls before swine and you expect them to appreciate them you will be disappointed each and every time.  I read that particular passage this morning and I didn't even know how it would impact my life until later on Today. I say to anyone reading this particular blog today there are two things I wish you to know if you don't come away with anything else: 

1. Personal Responsibility is hard I know this but at some point in your life as an adult you have to take it for yourself and your own happiness, and your actions and the consequences of all your actions and change starts with self I know its easier said then done but as we all are works in progress we must do what we can to affect the change we want to see in our lives.

2. No one can hurt, harm, damage you unless you allow them too. As an adult you have to stop allowing others to hurt or harm you, if they are a destructive force in your life then purge them from you and allow yourself to be happy, healthy, growing and thriving. Stop leaning on the crutch that is allowing you to stay in a situation that is killing your very joy within you. If you lose the destructive crutch you will have to learn how to walk all over again without it, you start by crawling but eventually you will learn how to stand and then you will learn how to walk again without that destructive crutch and eventually learn how to be happy again once you're on your own.

I speak peace and blessings into the lives that are broken, unhappy, sad, miserable and feeling like they have to stay in a situation they don't want to be in because they can't do any better. Change is hard especially when you aren't financially able to do any better believe me I know but there has to be a way, pray on it and meditate on it. 

Passage taken from: Acts Of Faith by Iyanla Vanzant link located below


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I AM THE BOULDER IN YOUR PATH, A BLACK WOMAN SPEAKS

Dear World, The Media, Black Men, and all others:

As a black woman I'm tired of the world/media/black men/ constantly disrespecting, stepping on, maligning and disregarding black women! These past couple of days I have tired to tune out the constant cacophony of disheartening and ugly "reports and new statistics" regarding black women (see bottom of post for links) I'm tired of the constant media reports about black women never getting married, about how our median wealth is $5.00, and how we are all dying from either HIV/AIDS or over half of us have herpes. I mean really where are you getting these statistics from? Is it your purpose to paint a picture so bleak for black women that we just lay down and die? Is that the new plan of action media and world that if you paint the picture bleak enough that we will give up on ourselves and circumstances and just quietly fade out of existence until there is no more black women period? Is that what the world finally wants to see the death of black women period? Is that where the world is heading? The death of the black woman, first the assassination of her attributes and character, crushing and killing her soul along with her hope and dreams, and then killing her physically by making sure she has diseases until you have effectively exterminated the backbone the lifeblood of the black race by killing off its very root?

As a black women in my early 30's I don't appreciate the constant messages you are sending regarding my femininity, my worth, my beauty, my everything its like you are one big bird with radar and you are determined to shit on me and every other black women every chance you get. Everything regarding black women who look black in the media is wrong, but let someone that has European features, weaves down her back, light complexion, or be mixed but not have any features remotely related to being African-American then she is an easier pill to swallow treated better than the average black woman who you can readily identify as black, she is seen as exotic and she can do no wrong in the eyes of the world/media/public and she is able to slip through the cracks in society and more readily prosper because she has mass appeal then the average looking black women with the quintessential African-American features.

Every since the black woman has stepped off the slave ship she has been seen as nothing more than a piece of meat, a work mule, an over sexed creature that could be pushed around, raped and forced to bear the children of her master repeatedly, forced to work from sun-up to sun-down, and abused anyway the slave owner and overseer saw fit because he owned her she was property, while black men stood by helplessly watching as his women was used like a toilet by the master while he was powerless to stop it but we persevered because we had too. Now we have widespread abandonment by the very men that mirror our skin color and features they also help in the widespread destruction, tearing down of black women. Black men seem to pride themselves in hurting black women while praising, and lifting up women of other races for their attributes, beauty, sexual nature, and anything else they can think off. While they will have children out of wedlock with a black women they will go and marry a woman of another race and culture leaving yet another single black women household in his wake without regard or forethought.

The very image of the Black women are more often than not disrespected in rap, in movies, in black culture period. Still today every image of a woman especially the black women in a rap video is in something scantily clad, she's oiled up, and she is dancing provocatively and suggestively more often than not she has her ass(ets) on display for the world to see and this is the image of black women that are beamed into millions of homes across America daily. Even with the counterbalance of Oprah, and Michelle Obama, and other prolific and prominent black women whom have never shaken their body in a video, or walked around scantily clothed the ones that make headlines are they ones doing salacious acts, who wear reveling clothing, and just plain do whorish activities they get the media coverage ad nasuam, they are the face that the media portrays over and over again and feeds to the masses for mass and commercial consumption these very women who tear down instead of build up are what the world watches and acknowledges while the women who don't do any of that garbage are ignored and treated like lepers because she hold herself to a higher standard of living. It is ridiculous and it sends a message to the world it says that black women are nothing more than easy, loose, oversexed women who will do anything for attention so feel free to exploit me and treat me as if I am nothing more than a body used for your pleasure.

Why is it that black women are good enough to have children without benefit of wedlock but they aren't good enough to walk down the aisle with? Why is it the legacy of a broken black home is the legacy the generational curse that keeps getting passed down over and over to our children, grandchildren, and their children and beyond? Why is it that black women have stayed at the bottom of the collective totem pole why all other race of women has been regulated to the top? Why are black women treated more like the common cold instead of the precious, strong, and beautiful creature she really is? Why is it black women have to bear the brunt of societies callous nature while every other woman is put on a pedestal and black women are her collective stepping stone? When did my color begin to strip me of my humanity in societies eyes?

I'm just flat out sick and tired of it, if black women are completely wiped out that means there will be no more black men because there will be no black sons, no black daughters. There will be a whole race gone exterminated the way the media/public keeps bashing and treating black women I feel like its a hit out on my very sanity and peace of mind. Everything the media reports about a black woman has just been nothing but bad news. If you aren't part of the solution then that makes you part of the problem. Instead of being quick to run down what's wrong with black women I don't see anyone major trying to fix what's broken. Where are the resources, and the aid for black women since we so bad off? Where are the health programs, and the financial counseling services, hell where are the jobs that pay a living wage at, the benefits the help for single black women and single black mothers, where are the single black women groups that aren't about sex but about positive interaction with black men and women and fostering dialects and solutions to what plagues the black community and the black household? Where is the hope in all this damned darkness the media would have us believe?

As I understand it because I am a black woman I am considered too strong, too this or too that, I can't get credit figuratively for shit, and I damn sure can't get any help. I don't appreciate it I don't subscribe to your image of the black woman and I would like the media/the world/and black men to know you won't ever be able to kill MY soul, you won't ever be able to strip me of my femininity and you will never make me believe the ill conceived lies you feed the masses about black women. If I am the last black woman standing by myself I will not bend and I damn sure won't break because it takes more than bullshit to keep a strong black woman down, and as long as I have breath in my body I will make it my business to push against the lies and propaganda that the media/world would have me and others believing about black women. I am not the pebble in your shoe I am the boulder in your way, and I will not fade quietly into the night without a fight. I am angry and I am justified in my anger and now I promise to redouble my efforts. Get ready for the fight of your life.

Signed the black woman you have successfully pissed on and pissed off for the last time.

STUDY FINDS MEDIAN WEALTH FOR BLACK WOMEN AT $5.00

NEARLY HALF OF BLACK WOMEN HAVE HERPES Read more...

THIS IS 4 THE LOVER N U

Whenever I go onto twitter it seems as if the whole world explodes at once but what can you expect from a system that explodes at the speed of life literally. There is so much fuckery going on this month and the people in my twitline seem to acerbate the problem. Maybe I need balance in my twitline anywho that is not what this post is about far from it actually bear with me I am working up to my point. I guess the habit of writing to get your thoughts together right out the box dies hard thanks to English teachers around the world who push journals on their students.I'm trying to learn how to shut out outside influences and tune into my inner voice more its a process.

I like the month of February not because its the shortest month and aside from it being Black History Month, but because for a closet, closet, closet, trapped in the closet romantic like myself shout out to the peeing piper chester the molester of thug & B It's because of all the heart sentiments being pushed left and right, especially the wedding industry I love it. There are so many wedding events coming up I am so tempted to run to all of them I think the wedding industry is like the best industry there is sure it is a business but what a wonderful business it is to be able to plan and share in a couples special day. Joy and rapture (swoon) shut it don't judge me its the little things.

So songs routinely get trapped in my mind and are played according to my emotions its the way that I am wired shrugs anywho this song:



has been on repeat in my mind ever since I thought of the title for this blog which happens to be the name of this song my mind works in weird ways (shrugs) I'm a bit quirky but what can you do I think quirky happens when you spend vast amounts of time alone like I do so either your mind begins to unravel itself or you develop coping mechanisms ie quirks you can even develop phobias. Conclusion if you want to slide into madness spend vast amounts of time with yourself and see how your grip on reality loosens but I digress.

Some things I am super excited about, the color purple starring home
wrecking Fantasia as Ms. Cecily I get to see it this Sunday I am super excited and I can't wait. I finally went and got my nails done it's just something about getting my nails done that really does it for me I like having pretty hands. Makes me want to invest in rings, speaking of investments why did I look at Tiffany's engagement rings and they were like Uber expensive. Really Tiffany you just want to continue to be elusive and some what out of my reach? Getting Jewelry From Tiffany's is like my dream Supreme but again I digress.

This post is like all over the place I know blame it on messy thoughts and reading way to many horrible headlines this morning... Today is my mothers bday the wheels of time slow for no one they just keep marching on makes me reflect. I will say however pray for each other, pray for the children as well and remember we fight against principalities not flesh and blood. Hug your children and protect them way to many demons pretending to be human and hurting, killing, and maiming children right now. Pray for your children when they aren't in your sight and tell them that you love them daily.



Basically you just need to give more love, in whatever form you can whether it be tough love, compassion, understanding, guidance, help, time effort, a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen, give love its free it doesn't cost you anything and if you just pause and be still you will see that there is someone in your life right now that can really use it and needs it. We get so caught up in the day to day that the little things fall by the wayside. Pay attention a little more tune the noise out and just listen. Read more...