Sunday, June 06, 2010


The simplest concept in the world, the one we should always reflect on in everything we do is that:


We as human.beings make choices, we do things out of spite, out of anger, out of malice, out of kindness, out of love, out of sadness, out of loneliness, out of sacrifice, sometimes we do things because we don't know how to do any better. Whatever motivates you and drives you to do the things that you do understand for that choice you will make, you have made, there will be an outcome there is no escaping this.

People tend to think about themselves first and then others last, when you make a decision and you think it is only affecting you, you should ask yourself:

Self: This decision that I am making here right now how will it impact those around me, a year from now, five years from now, how will it affect my children's futures, will it have an affect on the way I am perceived,  Lastly but the most important questions are how will this affect someone who loves me? Will it cause emotional distress, physical pain, will this little bit of pleasure bring me a moment of happiness but a lifetime of pain?

I of course have to digress because simply human.beings are emotional selfish creatures we do what feels good, we do what makes us happy damn the consciences, damn what anyone else thinks and then we want to argue, curse and fight once the consciences rears its ugly head. We paint ourselves into corners because we are by nature selfish.

There is a principle called Personal Responsibility that states:

Accepting personal responsibility includes:
* Acknowledging that you are solely responsible for the choices in your life.
* Accepting that you are responsible for what you choose to feel or think.
* Accepting that you choose the direction for your life.
* Accepting that you cannot blame others for the choices you have made.
* Tearing down the mask of defense or rationale for why others are responsible for who you are, what has happened to you and what you are bound to become.
* The rational belief that you are responsible for determining who your are, and how your choices affect your life.
* Pointing the finger of responsibility back to yourself and away from others when you are discussing the consequences of your actions.
*Realizing that you determine your feelings about any events or actions addressed to you, no matter how negative they seem.
* Recognizing that you are your best cheerleader; it is not reasonable or healthy for you to depend on others to make you feel good about yourself.
* Recognizing that as you enter adulthood and maturity, you determine how your self-esteem will develop.
* Not feeling sorry for the "bum deal" you have been handed but taking hold of your life and giving it direction and reason.
* Letting go of your sense of over responsibility for others.
* Protecting and nurturing your health and emotional well being.
* Taking preventive health oriented steps of structuring your life with time management, stress management, confronting fears and burnout prevention.
* Taking an honest inventory of your strengths, abilities, talents, virtues and positive points.
* Developing positive, self-affirming, self-talk scripts to enhance your personal development and growth.
* Letting go of blame and anger toward those in your past who did the best they could, given the limitations of their knowledge, background and awareness.
* Working out anger, hostility, pessimism and depression over past hurts, pains, abuse, mistreatment and misdirection. 

Read more: 

June 6,
Give not that which is holy to dogs. Neither cast ye your pearls before swine - Matthew 7:6
Should we wear our most expensive outfit to a mud fight? Why then do we continue to place ourselves in jobs, situations, and relationships that ruin our peace, health, and self-value? Should we leave our most valuable possession unguarded in a public location? Why then do we place our minds and bodies in the reach of those persons and situations with a demonstrated history of abuse or neglect? We are, to ourselves, the most valuable possession we have. Yet we waste our time, energy and sometimes our lives in worthless situations among people who are unworthy. We must value our ideas, our energy, our time and our life to such an infinite degree that we become unwilling to waste who we are. If we put on our best and go to a mud fight, we can expect to get dirty. If we place our head in the Lion's mouth, we should expect to get eaten.
I Am very valuable to me. 

I always say that no one can do anything to you unless you allow them too. If you are throwing your pearls before swine and you expect them to appreciate them you will be disappointed each and every time.  I read that particular passage this morning and I didn't even know how it would impact my life until later on Today. I say to anyone reading this particular blog today there are two things I wish you to know if you don't come away with anything else: 

1. Personal Responsibility is hard I know this but at some point in your life as an adult you have to take it for yourself and your own happiness, and your actions and the consequences of all your actions and change starts with self I know its easier said then done but as we all are works in progress we must do what we can to affect the change we want to see in our lives.

2. No one can hurt, harm, damage you unless you allow them too. As an adult you have to stop allowing others to hurt or harm you, if they are a destructive force in your life then purge them from you and allow yourself to be happy, healthy, growing and thriving. Stop leaning on the crutch that is allowing you to stay in a situation that is killing your very joy within you. If you lose the destructive crutch you will have to learn how to walk all over again without it, you start by crawling but eventually you will learn how to stand and then you will learn how to walk again without that destructive crutch and eventually learn how to be happy again once you're on your own.

I speak peace and blessings into the lives that are broken, unhappy, sad, miserable and feeling like they have to stay in a situation they don't want to be in because they can't do any better. Change is hard especially when you aren't financially able to do any better believe me I know but there has to be a way, pray on it and meditate on it. 

Passage taken from: Acts Of Faith by Iyanla Vanzant link located below