People get tired...it's a fact.
It's also a fact that people can only do to you what you allow them to do to you.
Fact relationships should be a two way street or you will get ran over like a one way street complete with wear and tear and potholes.
Fact it is not always the mans fault.
Fact when you listen to single girlfriends and run the street with them then guess what you're coveting a single lifestyle which can quickly turn into a single reality!
Relationships are HARD WORK, they are harder to maintain then any 9-5 they need constant nurturing, constant vigil, constant communication, constant attention, constant pride swallowing, compromise, improvising, trust, energy, love, affection, understanding, respect, and dedication. They also need for you to have the guts and the balls to maintain it for the long haul if you're not all in then you are simply playing waiting for something better possibly to come along.
Fact marriage is not the problem its the expectations of what a marriage is. Two people who decide to get married should discuss it, discuss it, and discuss it again not just making wedding plans but talk about your expectations for each partner, finances, if you want children, where you want to live, 5 year outcome etc. There needs to be talks held, then you should seek before marriage counseling, put a higher power in your marriage, pray together, be honest and communicate often, seek wisdom from happily married elders, not single girlfriends who are bitter and angry because their marriages failed and they don't have any prospects for marriage and most importantly you need faith, faith in yourself and faith in your partner and faith in your union.
Be realistic I know many of us have done it but you ultimately know what you want in a mate, if he or she is a cheater while you're dating then what makes you think they will stop cheating after you say vows? FACT NO WOMAN CAN CHANGE A MAN, NO MAN CAN CHANGE A WOMAN! Stop thinking that you can change the person you're with into your ideal mate. If they were you're ideal mate then they wouldn't be such a fixer-upper in the first place. The worst thing you could ever do is settle and be with someone for all the wrong reasons or stay in a relationship for all the wrong reasons.
Recognize that potential might just never become anything more than potential. You know what I mean like a man that is always trying but he can't never seem to keep a job he always getting fired for some reason or other, he's a good man but he just can't hold onto a job for shit. Now understand I am not telling anyone to break up with their man by no means but realize that more often than not you will be the main bread winner. Realize that with this type of man your finances will always be in jeopardy unless you make enough to cover everything by yourself, realize that this type of man may be good in other areas but working and making money on a consistent basis won't be one of those areas. So don't go faulting the man when he can't keep a job there is where finding out about a person before you leap into a relationship with them comes into play.
I don't care what anyone says or how they justify it cheating is cheating is cheating PERIOD. It's wrong if a man does it and its wrong when a woman does it PERIOD. I don't care if you're unhappy with your mate, I don't care if you're in a lot of pain and the only way to work through it is by fucking its still wrong, your moral compass is fucked up and that's just the way it is. Don't try and cover up shit with perfume it's still funky no matter how much you spray it.
Baby mommas and baby daddies if you aren't together and you each have multiple kids please be mature about your dealings with each other. The only thing that needs to ever be discussed is your kids PERIOD. Trying to hurt each other through your children is ugly stop being so fucking stupid its not about you anymore its about your children. Women stop using your children as tools of revenge that shit is moronic and you should have known better than to put your womb on the line before you let him skeet in you. Men stop being all bitter and shit and talking about how much you hate that bitch, you wasn't hating her when you were busting nuts all in her gut. It takes two to make a baby every time you lay down with someone know that you are taking a risk DUH, anyone that doesn't get that is seriously mentally challenged and shouldn't be fucking any way.
If there is no love left then there is nothing to stay for. It will just cause misery to both parties if you are unhappy walk away. Put one foot in front of the other and don't look back even if that means you have to make some hard choices. But everyone should have a fuck you fund, just in case you have to leave you need to be able to at least have a rent deposit of first and last and a security deposit at all times sitting in a reserve account solely with your name on it.
Don't bullshit yourself if it doesn't work you can't make it work so stop trying let it go...
Just some thoughts ladies and gents from my head to hopefully your heart.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Posted by THE 78' MS. J
MIND YOUR RELATIONSHIP
THE 78' MS. J
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