Tuesday, June 30, 2009


Last post from the 360 blog.

So I was having a very intense and interesting conversation with a dude who was actually trying to get to know me but before he could do that this is what he told me, he started telling me about his 27 year old cousin who has 7 children and 2 with his current baby momma who happens to be white. Now the baby momma takes care of their children plus pays this man child support for the other 7 kids meaning they hitting her check up for child support payments. She also pays this man’s cell bill and all other bills, and in addition bought him an expensive SUV, and he doesn’t work he is working on his “music” while she is footing all the bills cause you know he a rapper (insert eye roll). Now dude kept going while I was sitting there looking at my phone like it had a virus on it he continued to tell me all this to illustrate the point that this white woman that is taking care of her man is supporting him in every way possible and that black women do not do this for their men. He said that instead of a black woman rushing to help her better half we think about it first and then we might help or not, he also stated that white women take care of their men and are giving in all areas and that black women are not.

Being a black woman my argument was well historically white women have always had more then the average black woman we have had to work our asses off to take care of business and to get what we wanted and needed with no help. Some of us have come from homes where there weren’t two parents in the house and therefore we saw mommas busting their asses to raise us while holding down the household as well as a job with no man in sight. While in a white woman’s household she may have seen her mother catering to her father and learned that is how a woman should treat her man but in our households we may have learned that we have to work for what we want and expect no help, and everyone should pull their own weight So it may be that these are learned behaviors. I also stated that if his ass is able-bodied to work then he should work everyday I mean why he can’t at least get a part time and bring in some money into the household. Especially when his bitch ass has went out and made 7 kids in addition to the two he has with the current woman he is living off of.

I mean this woman doesn’t have a problem with the situation and more power to her but as a black woman I don’t want to be compared to someone who is doing this for her man. She may be able to do it and more power to her but does that mean I am not as worthy a partner as she is because I can’t treat your ass like you’re king tut? My thing is though not all white women are like this right? Because if they are then I guess I am moving my ass to Africa where I have a chance of finding a black man who still dates a black woman because this too me is just over and beyond the call of duty. I mean by all means support each other while in a relationship but you getting the king treatment while I work my ass off to support all your children plus our children we have together plus buy you shit and run our household is a bit much to me black white or purple.

But I said all this to say because we are black women does that mean we are not as giving and sacrificing as our white counterparts? Do we have a tendency not to support our black men so they have no choice but to go to white women who will? I mean I know we have all heard the stereotypes of what black and white women do and for stereotypes to exist there has to be some truth to them even if it is just the tiniest truth. So I want your take on this whole situation, what do you think about this? I mean should I be offended when a black man tells me that white women are better than black women because they support their black men in every way shape and form? Should I be offended when he tells me that white women are better than black women? Should I be worried about the state of black on black love or has it already died and I am the only one holding up the blood stained banner for it? I mean ladies and gentlemen tell me something cause this sista is so flabbergasted right now…

Tuesday May 29, 2007 - 11:50pm (PDT)