A couple of things I want to talk about first and foremost I hope all my readers are doing wonderful, I know in these rough economic times everyone is feeling the hurt, keep your head up they tell me there is a silver lining somewhere and some how especially when you least it expect it!
I hope everyone voted but don't be disappointed if John McCain wins which he might even though Obama has the popular vote see I think a lot of people have forgotten just how cold blooded the government is, and I don't believe that we really live in a Democracy because if we did then our votes would count and there would be no stinking middle man, just the straight voice of the people but no it's not so allow me to take you back to your last year in high school let's remember civics' class shall we.
Elections and the Electoral Process
Federal elections are held in November of even-numbered years. Just as the President, Senators, and Representatives have overlapping constituencies, their terms also overlap.
* All Representatives are elected every two years by the voters of the district they represent.
* Senators serve six-year terms, with one-third of them up for election every even year. Senators are chosen in statewide elections and represent all residents of their states.
* The President and Vice President are elected together every four years in a nationwide election.
The election process begins well in advance of the actual election as individuals declare their candidacies for office. In the congressional election process, if more than one candidate from the same party seeks the office, a primary election is held to determine which candidate will be on the ballot in the general election.
The primary process for presidential elections is different from congressional elections. Beginning in January and lasting through June of the election year, states hold presidential primaries or caucuses. The results of these ballots determine how many delegates will represent each respective candidate at the national party nominating conventions, which are usually held in July or August. These political conventions are where each party's nominee is actually selected.
In the general election in November, Senators and Representatives are elected by plurality vote—the candidate receiving the most votes wins, even if it is not a majority. In presidential elections, each state is allocated a number of electoral votes equal to the sum of U.S. Representatives and Senators for that state. The District of Columbia, though not a state, has three electoral votes.
The presidential candidate who wins the popular vote in a state "wins" that state's electoral votes, usually in a winner-take-all manner. After elections in each state are certified, the electoral votes won by each candidate are counted. If a candidate receives a majority of the electoral votes (at least 270 of the 538 total), he or she is declared the winner. If no candidate wins a majority of electoral votes, the U.S. House of Representatives chooses the winner, with each state delegation having one vote. Because the President is not elected directly by the people, it is possible for a candidate to receive a plurality of the popular vote and yet lose the election.
I don't want anyone's bubble to be burst but...since the house of reps is still all republican...you do the math and match up. That's how Bush got into office he stacked the deck the way he needed it stacked All republican house of reps which elected a republican candidate if I'm wrong someone inform me, let me know. Still team Obama and I already mailed in my vote but...we still live in AmeriKKK so nothing would surprise me.
Now that, that is out the way my heart does go out to J. Hud and her family it was a tragic thing to happen to her and her family. May God grant her peace and comfort through these trying times.
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In watching the secret life of bees my first thoughts where, again black women are the umbrella which shelter white children, again we are the mammy, the tit by which a white child who has no mother has come to nurse. Again a black boy sticks his neck out to go to the movies with a white girl, risk himself being killed just so that he can sit in the colored only section with a white girl practically in his lap, until white men come and drag his ass out of the theater and work him over because he dare even think of being with one of their precious lily white daughters. Come to think of it Dakota Fanning’s character was named Lily. What is a Lily but a pure white beautiful flower, when you think Lily you think pure virginal, clean, beautiful now wonder the black boy in this movie couldn't help himself he was overcome by the very nature of this pure virginal white girl. What black man wouldn't want a pure Lily white unattainable girl, that's the devils nectar forget a black woman. In those times poor black men had to settle for an everyday black woman who didn't have beautiful dresses, couldn't spend the money to get their hair done, or buy heels, use make-up and get fancy undergarments unless they were ladies of ill repute. How could a black mammy compete with a dolled up put on a pedestal white woman? White women were touted as the very epitome of womanhood while black women where work mules, lusty sluts that the master used sexually so he could preserve the very delicate nature of his white woman the very forbidden fruit that all savage black men hungered and hunger after still. Who wants a black woman when you can have a Lily white pure as the driven snow white woman?!?!? I digress…back to my point.
Now I have never read the book and I saw the cast interviews on Oprah (but let me stop right here and say again way to go Opera pimp us black women into thinking this story was about us, because we all know if Oprah puts her stamp of approval on it then it must be right! I must admit you had me fooled Oprah, never again from here on out you're getting the SEOD) so I was fooled into thinking this would be a coming of age story for Lily and these women would of course play a integral role in her development but I thought she was a sideline story not the whole damn story, I didn't know that the story was going to be one of those "poor white trash girl runs away to be taken care of by black women who become her savior" type story. I sat here and watched this movie and I couldn't help but think to myself with all that is going on in the era that is this stories backdrop why in God's name is the whole story about this little white girl. It's always about Lily even after the death of one of the Boatwright sisters. After the movie was over I looked up the author to confirm what I already knew after watching the whole movie. In the beginning of the movie I was under the impression that she was black and that's the way the advertisers where framing this movie but about halfway through the movie I realized that this movie was falsely advertised to get black women in the seats. They know if you tug on a black woman's heartstrings then she will go deep in her pocketbook and pull out her hard earned money to go see a movie, or buy a product. It was never about black people the story is about this little white girl and her need to be loved by somebody. I'm glad I did not see this movie in theaters I would have been upset because ticket prices are expensive and the commercials are misleading. Here I am thinking that the story is largely about the boatwright sisters when really it's about Lily.
Queen Latifah, Jennifer Hudson are asexual mammies for Dakota Fanning’s character, the Zackary character is the lusting black boy who will turn into the lusting black man in love with a white woman, who I’m sure will brave the odds just to be with her when they both get older, are you serious? Am I the only one who was not bamboozled by this movie? I understand the little girl had no mother and she just wanted to be loved but was she not still white? Was she not still better off then Jennifer Hudson’s character that got beat because she wanted to go vote? It’s mighty funny that the black characters got beat on, barked on, put in their place and even one of the characters kills herself all due to this white girl bringing herself and her drama around and they still find it in their hearts to take her in and let her live with them. Queen Latifah’s character even say’s she has been in love before but she loved her freedom more but yet and still she still take in this white waif and loves on her, say what! You mean you don’t want a man of your own, nor a family of your own but your character was willing to spend the majority of her life looking after first this girl’s mother and now her if that is not the jolly fat asexual nurturing mammy type then I don’t know what is!!!! And no one but me has a problem with this?
You mean to tell me that this white little girl can bring all this down upon you and you still have room enough in your heart to let her stay even when her daddy comes to take her back home with him?!?!? Black people's love sure runs deep, we raised other people's children which left no time to raise our own if they weren’t already sold off, we still bending over backwards for white folks so they don't think of us as hostile or offsetting to get to know, we go out of our way to fall in love with them and worship them we strive to emulate them in every way shape and fashion, they are our measuring stick and their standards of beauty we have made our own, we pride ourselves on not being to niggerish, or to black acting, we praise those that have the lightest skin and the straightest hair, the thinnest lips, and the smallest noses. We hurry to jump into someone else's culture and shun our own because the only good thing a black person ever did was keep house, pick cotton, raise white children, and cook southern food that white people love to eat and copy and have restaurants that serve it but a black person doesn’t own.
Why is it we are still so conditioned to love everything we are not, we can't get solidarity in our own culture and race but yet we want to hurry and sing songs, and hold hands, and intermarry with other races. Black people are the only race of people that are so divided and still self hating, we have no real culture in this country just shit we have made up, we have ingenuity but no integrity, we could be a nation built on something beautiful but we too concerned about the latest fashions, the newest cars, the stupidest dances, we have no real leaders anymore, we tear ourselves apart, we tear down our communities, instead of uplifting ourselves some of us rather sit at the right hand of a Caucasian and get a handout. So many are bamboozled still in this day and time that they are actually shocked when they hear about an incident of racism. For God sakes they are still hanging, and dismembering black men in the back roads of Texas towns. The world is not that different it just got more politically correct, meaning racism got a face lift and a press agent. Even Oprah with all of her money still gets discriminated against, Barack even though he is half white is still looked at as all black and he is considered a black man. He is treated as a black man. Even his own grandmother knows the difference, come on people wake up. But I guess we won't wake up until a white person says it's time for us to wake up, so I guess I better just sit patiently and wait for the next great white hope to come and save us. Like they do in all the sports movies, or the movies where the white person comes to the ghetto and educates the ignorant masses turning them around and helping them achieve.
You know it's funny if you ask any foreigner on American soil who is the trespasser every time they will point at a black person and say us. To them we are the unwanted masses, the swept under the rug controlled step-children that are no longer a threat because we have no power; we have no will to change things. WE just want to get a good job, drive a Cadillac truck with a bumping system, and have a house with a Latina, white, or Asian wife at the helm so the children can be mixed and have long "good" hair. The American dream for a black man is just that simple… and for a black woman as long as we have Oprah and white men we’ll be just fine! (Sarcasm) Oh my people…we have got to do better than this y’all are wounding my spirit and making me weep and lament over your plight as if you were dead and decaying rotting flesh, where have our warriors gone?
Has anyone ever asked a successful person what makes them successful? Is it what they know, or who they know? Is it they were at the right place at the right time, for their gifts to shine? Was it hard work a million no's before that one yes? I wonder about myself and I try to examine myself often, why do I have this roadblock to success? Am I my own worst enemy? Is greatness not for me? Am I at the right place or stuck in the wrong place? Do I not have the tools I need to succeed? What is keeping me stuck in this mud? This bog of nothingness? How do I put myself in a place 2 prosper? Where do I start? ....
Am I smart or just a storage of useless information, what is my purpose here? Will I ever find it will it ever be reveled? Does it take courage to pursue your dreams? What if your dreams are intangible? Do you have to be a fearless fool in order to pursue dreams? If perception is reality then why do I feel like I am stuck in an endless cycle? Does going to therapy help get you out of your head and make you feel better?
Crossroads... Desires, weakness, strength, unhappiness, ineptitude. Run a circle never ending loop, nothing wrong with them something wrong with you, makes no sense, forgive the rambling just trying to figure it all out.
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You ever have a "t-shirt and my panties on" kind of moment, the nonsexual type moment of course, When just being by yourself in your bra and panties or t-shirt and panties is just so comfortable that you feel just uber relaxed? I'm having one of those moments as I type this. I'm just in my space doing me and just living. Now I am one with the moment after being on edge all day.
This little set is too cute for words no? I had finished the post and then stumbled upon this and it screamed put me in your post and I was like right no problem!
I went to talk with the army recruiter and even though he used mouthwash he's a drinker/drunk when you have to drink just to get through your day it's something not right. Plus the recruitment office was all drab and crazy, like male testosterone times 10 and then they had these chicks in there like army groupies but they were one of the boys but youngish I just wanted to get the hell up outta there. I am praying that a job comes through or it's the army I go. I don't need to be army strong I just want to have study damn employment. It's a sign of the times when you have to seek out the damn army to have gainful employment. Which means I have to pass the army's aptitude test plus do boot fucking camp ugh what the hell I just want a clerical gig, I don't want a gun I don't want to march I just want to type and answer phone calls and then leave at 5pm with all the benefits that the army can afford me now is that too much to ask for?
I really need a suga daddy okay maybe not a suga daddy but someone who will buy me cute shoes, take me out, tell me I can have whateva I like, make me the missus on the hill, make sweet love to me down by the fireplace on a plush bear skin rug, I would love love love that, and don't none of y'all come over here talking that enjoy being single jazz I've done single done it to death in fact now it's time to switch it on up. You get to a point where you have been single so long when it does come time for coupledom you can't do it because you are so stuck in your single ways, which is not a good look. So save your being single is great comments for the next chick and Let me dream people, dreams never hurt nobody.
I got tired of the dark look and decided to step into the light plus having two side panels and still enough space to write is a winner, just the header is all funky don't worry I always figure out something and that probably will be changing in the near future.
I feel tired as I am writing this post, I went outside and took a walk today needless to say I need to do that more so defiantly going to be getting more physical exercise I really want to take different kinds of exercise classes though. I hate boring traditional workouts if I can have fun, burn calories, and do something that doesn't feel like a workout then I am all for it. I really want to take the STRIPPER aerobics workout that sounds super fun and plus where can you burn calories, learn a skill/trade feel sexy and get to exercise in 6 inch heels all at the same time? That right there sounds like a winner to me! I also want to learn how to swim, I love being in the water again a fun activity for me plus its something I would want to do. Belly dancing classes also again sounds way fun, and you get to move like Shakira which is a skill and hot.
I also like roller skating but in neighborhoods with flava which means exclusively to me W.O.W if you not from L.A. and you didn't come up during the 80's early 90's you can't even comprehend of which I speak. I did my fair share of skating at W.O.W it was a great place to bad it got a bad reputation thanks to the few who wanted to show out and mess it up for the rest of us. I'm sure it's gotten better since then though, real talk I always wanted a skating rink of my own a place for kids to hang out and work and all that stuff. But simple things like roller skating kids not into anymore they rather sit home and play on they Nintendo Wii systems.
Case in point this is the skating rink that was the bases for the movie ATL.
clip of the movie where they introduce the skating, not the best quality but the movie should be in your collection anyway if not YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVA YOU LIKE
Musiq's new video with Mary J Blige first time I'm seeing it but it doesn't invoke any type of reaction from me and for some reason Mohawks on black men annoy me, that hairstyle is not attractive not at all it just looks like you left something undone on top of your head, but I'm old school so it is what it is.
Last but not least Don't forget to vote!
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okay so you know I am all for team Obama so I thought I would share the most beautiful moving picture essay done by one of President Obama's photog's it is so beautiful and plus they make my heart swell and give me hope for black love YES WE CAN have beautiful build together type of black relationships and as long as one person holds the dream dear then hope will never be gone, well until I die but I digress.
Another thing you should be up on is your twit game if you don't know what that is you are the last person on this planet that doesn't know lol, you can check it out and FOLLOW ME HERE after you make your account of course.
what else I got for you hmmmm if you want to get me something for Christmas THE 78 MS. J would be hot in a two finger ring, a necklace or even some earrings dopeness, in gold.
ummm oh yeah all the guys that come to my page and read my single life post guys don't take it as a I hate being single type thing. I don't hate being single I'm just over being single I have done single now it's time to do coupledom. I mean I am of age and it is time to jump that broom and have at least two kids the right way. So cut me some slack laugh and giggle at the post but don't leave the be single and enjoy it type comments been single 5yrs that chapter is so OVER and DONE with, but please don't stop commenting cause I love your comments and I appreciate them. Because you don't have to come read my blog but you did so that get's huge appreciation.
Last but not least is this here video fact or fiction! Please leave your thoughts about this one Bristol Palin's baby daddy is really black???:
I NEVER EVER approach men nor ask them out, unless I am on that liquid courage. That will be a story I will share later in this post. I have just recently been able to bring myself to tell guys that I have crushes on them even I think it's juvenile but baby steps. I don't know why I have such a clumsy bumbling awkward type relationship with the opposite sex. I attribute it to all the horrible little boys I went to elementary school with who used to terrorize and bully me. Every time I did try to like a boy in elementary it would always go so horribly wrong, we’re talking ridicule, threats, I even got in a fight with a boy because someone dared say I had a crush on said boy, boy went out of his way to show just how much he didn’t like me by fighting me, we talking throwing them bows people. All because someone made the rumor up that I liked said boy, even if there would have been any truth in that rumor there wasn’t after I held my own in that fight. I ain’t an easy win I don’t act like it but I can be a thug when the need arises. But I digress
I just don't approach men, I would rather cyber stalk a dude from afar, give him compliments, leave him some comments, send some notes but forget a flat out you want to be my boo, type statement. Unless like stated before I am on some liquid courage and then my alter ego takes over, she is known as Cynthia Maddox and she's a bad chick, and she is everything the 78MsJ isn't she smokes when she drinks, she can be quite belligerent, bossy, ballsy, pushy, she is the black Samantha from sex and the city without the sex. That's why I don't let her out often she is a beast. Now make no mistake I'm not a push over I am just more reserved more low key, a slow burner, late bloomer, whatever you want to call it when Cynthia is in the building then Ms.J mos def isn't that's for damn sure.
As a result some of the men I have spied and admired from afar never even knew I liked them or if they had an inkling they never let on about it, and forget it especially if I think the dude is out of my league I'm not even going to waste time on him AT ALL and It's quite possible that on occasion I might have annoyed them or pushed them away I am just that awkward when it comes to this whole dating game type thing. I prefer for the man to take innovative and approach me I'm old school what can I say. I prefer to be the chased verses being the chaser the chasing role doesn't work for me and when I try and put it on it just turns out all wrong so I leave that for the people who do it best. If you're a woman that can just walk up to a man and say, "hey what you doing tonight? Want to do me?" You are a strong individual! I no can do.
(side note this video right here with all the members of destiny children in it, almost froze my very soul, the only reason I posted it is because I love this song, btw I like the other video to this much better!)
Cynthia on the other hand…case in point, I ended up going to the jazz club this summer with my brother his wife and my parents one of the musicians that plays at the club always invites my dad since they go way back anywho, we get to the jazz club find some seats order what we are going to order to eat and I end up going to the bar and getting something to drink, well first rule of thumb is anytime something has the name motherfu!#%# in it, it most likely is going to be a strong drink. I ended up pointing to a drink already made at the bar and the bartender says it's called a SexyMF so I'm like cool give me one of those, so I go back to my table drink my drink and I am already feeling real lovely, needless to say by the time the jazz club is closing down I have had a total of 5 drinks so now I'm flying. You know the feeling when you are just drunk and feeling no pain and all your inhibitions are out the door so at this point I'm like F this I want a boo. Cynthia is in full effect mood by this time, she has leapt from her restraints and she is ready to get the party started, so she starts seizing people up, and looking around and around. Well by the time she got to looking all the eligible dudes were already making that move to the door. So Cynthia spotted the busboy poor little unsuspecting busboy. So Cynthia waits for him to get close enough to her table and then she pounces the conversation is a little foggy but they tell me it went something like this:
Cynthia: Hey
Busboy: Huh?
Cynthia: You got a girl? You want one?
Busboy: (who is looking mad confused by this time and has been pulled down to sit next to Cynthia no less), Well I just got out here from Atlanta so...
Cynthia: okay what that mean? Where you live at? Who you stay with?
Busboy: I just moved out here so I stay with my momma
Cynthia: You got a phone number?
Busboy: Ummmm, Ummmm
At this point someone slips him my general house phone number
Cynthia: You going to call me?
Busboy: yeah after I get up
Cynthia: When's that going to be?
Busboy: Probably around 1 cause I'm not going to call you as soon as I get up but it will be around 1
Cynthia: Okay you going to really call? Cause if you don't call I will fuck you up and I mean it!
Busboy: I'ma call...(insert scurrying off in a hurry with frightened and bewildered look and bucket clutched tightly to chest of said man)
See how out of line she can be, I'm quite sure she scared the man into quitting his job and returning back to Atlanta. I'm just not good at approaching men and all that type stuff so I don't do it I have learned that if a guy is truly interested then he will make it known if not then you weren't his type to begin with. So why chase when if they want you they will just come seek you out in my opinion. I never assume or jump to conclusions with men either if they like me they have to spell it out for me in plain uncut ways. Tell me, straight up all that reading in between the lines and insinuating will have you and me still single and me just going along with the flow like we are pals. I really am just a simple type of female I don't need a lot of pomp and circumstances just telling me that you like my smile, or that you like how I write or that you dig my vibe and want to get to know me better is enough to pique an interest in you but state your intentions from the door because I don't assume like I stated before.
I really wished the dating dynamics hadn't changed so much that now everything is all funky and hyper-sexualized. Bring back the courtship days, take it back to the old school way of dating. Actually get to know a person before you screw them, meet their parents, come ring the doorbell instead of honking the horn, come to the door with something in your hand, actually dress up don't come to the door with your pants below your butt with a long white tee on...but I digress. I really feel like I was born in the wrong era...but y'all don't feel or hear me though…
Imagine that you have a daughter and as soon as she is born you promise her to her future groom a man who is already three times her age and as soon as she hits puberty she will be whisked away to live with this much older man and then she will be forced into the role of wife, lover, mother, house keeper, indentured servant, and her life is never her own. Imagine then that this young girl could have been you if you were born in Niger, Chad, Mali, Nepal, etc. Imagine having no control over your life, your future, or your body do you see where I am going with this? I got my Essence magazine in the mail today and the most important story in the magazine wasn't even mentioned on the front and if I hadn't bother to look through the whole magazine I would have missed it what I am typing on and on about is Child Brides as I read the whole story I was intrigued, and enthralled and also deeply disturbed. Anytime I see something that strikes a chord with me or makes me want to learn about it I dig my heels in and go for broke. Which needless to say inspired me to write this very post. I am not the first to write about this subject and I certainly won't be the last but this is an eye opening type of situation. Girls all over the world are being forced into marriage in these countries that are ravaged by poverty and my heart goes out to these little girls, my sisters from afar.
Some where in the back of my mind I know that in underdeveloped countries people are trying to do anything they can just to survive, I think of the young girls in America who haven't even learned how to wash themselves good let alone know what it takes to be a wife it's harrowing to the soul to say the very least. I feel when I look at the pictures of these young African girls in the essence article a sense of kinship, a spirit that goes beyond the pages of this magazine article I feel like these are my little sisters that are being pushed down this road that causes them farther hardship and problems medically, physically, mentally and emotionally. Not to mention the never ending cycle of poverty these girls are forever stuck in.
We bitch and moan in this country about basic things and these little girls are being traded off like they are cheap coats I understand that this is their culture, I understand that their parents can not afford them therefore they are passed off to someone who can, it still doesn't make it less disheartening. They have no say in their lives they go from the rule of their parents to the rule of a much older man, their lives are forever not their own. From the day they are born they are controlled by others and that is sad, they don't even get to come into their own as women. They don't get to have education, they don't get to have basic freedoms, they are chattel.
Girls get engaged when they are 9 and when they turn 12 they go live with their much older husbands, all kinds of things happen to these girls, abuse, sex they aren't ready for physically, mentally, emotionally and as a result pregnancy these girls begin having babies before their bodies have even fully developed yet, plus in their villages their is virtually no health care which result in birthing complications, and damage to the young girls body the most common result of these girls giving birth is a horrible condition that is known as fistula, many are often then shunned by their husbands because they can't control their body functions after their young bodies have been wrecked by giving birth to children as children themselves.
If you don't know what Fistula is here is the break down:
Q: What is an obstetric fistula? A: A fistula is a hole. An obstetric fistula of the kind that occurs in Ethiopia (and many other developing countries) is a hole between a woman's birth passage and one or more of her internal organs. This hole develops over many days of obstructed labor, when the pressure of the baby's head against the mother's pelvis cuts off blood supply to delicate tissues in the region. The dead tissue falls away and the woman is left with a hole between her vagina and her bladder (called a vesicovaginal fistula or VVF) and sometimes between her vagina and rectum (rectovaginal fistula, RVF). This hole results in permanent incontinence of urine and/or feces. A majority of women who develop fistulas are abandoned by their husbands and ostracized by their communities because of their inability to have children and their foul smell.
Q: Can fistula be "cured"? A: Yes. An obstetric fistula can be closed with intravaginal surgery. If her surgery is performed by a skilled surgeon, a fistula patient has a good chance of returning to a normal life with full control of her bodily functions. The Fistula Hospital has a 93% success/cure rate.
Q: How much does it cost to treat a fistula? A: At the Hamlin Fistula Hospitals, it costs US$450 to provide one woman with a fistula repair operation, high-quality postoperative care, a new dress, and bus fare home.
Q: What are the causes of obstetric fistula? A: A fistula results from an obstructed labor that is left unrelieved and untreated. It is estimated that 5% of all pregnant women worldwide will experience obstructed labor. In the United States and other affluent countries, emergency obstetric care is readily available. In many developing countries where there are few hospitals, few doctors, and poor transportation systems, and where women are not highly valued, obstructed labor often results in death of the mother. When she survives, there is a great likelihood her child will die and she will develop a fistula. According to the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), there are three delays that contribute to the development of a fistula: delay in seeking medical attention; delay in reaching a medical facility; and delay in receiving medical care once arriving at a health care facility.
Q: I heard that fistulas are a result of female genital mutilation. Is this true? A: While harmful traditional practices such as female genital mutilation (FGM) are rightly of concern to the international medical community, they are not major contributors to the development of an obstetric fistula. Some patients at the Hamlin Fistula Hospitals have been victims of FGM, but their fistulas are almost always caused by an obstructed labor resulting from a too-small pelvis or a malpresentation of the baby. FGM does not "cause" a fistula.
Q: How many women does this problem affect? A: Because fistula affects women in the most remote regions of the world, an accurate count is very hard to achieve. The most common estimate is that 100,000 women worldwide develop fistulas every year, though some estimates put the number closer to 500,000. Experts at the Hamlin Fistula Hospitals estimate that there are approximately 9,000 new cases of fistula every year in Ethiopia alone. Because most fistula sufferers are young women—many still in their teens—they are likely to live with their condition for upwards of 25 years. By any estimate, there are at least two million women currently living with fistula throughout the developing world. The world capacity to treat fistula is estimated at 6,500 fistula repair surgeries per year.
Q: Where is fistula prevalent? A: There is a high incidence of fistula in Africa and parts of Asia, but women are susceptible to developing fistulas wherever there are insufficient emergency obstetric care systems.
Q: Can fistula be prevented? A: Any woman who can gain access to emergency obstetric care such as a cesarean section will not develop a fistula. This is why Hamlin Fistula Hospitals are building new small hospitals in five Ethiopian provinces to increase the capacity of regional hospitals to provide fistula repair surgery and quality emergency obstetric care.
Q: What can I do to help? A: A tax-deductible donation to the Fistula Foundation directly assists in restoring health and dignity to women in Ethiopia suffering from fistulas. The Fistula Foundation is also expanding its Circle of Friends, a program which assists groups and individuals who want to hold their own fundraisers to support the Hamlin Fistula Hospitals. If you have questions about any of our programs, feel free to email us at info@fistulafoundation.org.
Information taken from FISTULAFOUNDATION.ORG if you would like to know more about this organization please feel free to look it up. If you don't do anything else this year do something bigger than self, it puts a lot of things in perspective when you see girls in Africa and other under developed countries who don't have the luxury to live a regular life like that of an American girl which is taken for granted everyday. It is a reminder that we as a developed country should not forget that there are people who are suffering all over the world going through things we find appalling every single day and this is their way of life their culture.
It's that time again new videos that I think you should be aware of. First up is Superhuman by Chris Brown and Keri Hilson I have been on this song for a minute so I am super glad they have a video for it now.
New single from Kanye oh Mr. West this new album I so likely so far you are taking me there and giving me different strokes and I like it. Should have tried to help your girl Beyaki aka Sasha fierce both of em sounding real unfamiliar. Oh well, I can't wait to see the concept for this video. Kanye take me far left so far left I can't get back right.
Last but not least this video isn't new but it goes so hard NAS always keeps it gully and I love Keri Hilson's voice she kills it. Enjoy.
I know we are in horrible times economically, job wise, world wise, political wise and it is so easy to get overwhelmed and dwell on all the bad and overlook the little bright spot of good that is there but tiny so here is a little bit of brightness.
What is Love?
Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes. What does Love mean? A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined See what you think:
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired" Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image) Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
This little note was sent to me on myspace around the date of Wednesday March 14, 2007 now with that being said let me bring you into the context of when and how this note came about. This little note was sent to me from the same guy who was the prime subject of this TRAGIC dating episode. Now you would think that me and dude would have given each other the peace sign and kept it stepping in separate directions but nope we just kept on trying to give it a go, but to no avail. He wanted me to be his boo but I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop with him, plus I refused to give him any, as a result of his frustration this note on myspace came about.
Now when you are in the midst of a heated emotional type situation nothing really gets solved, it's just anger feeding off of anger which results in an emotional tug of war which no one wins. In grand fashion I typed him up a letter, sprayed it with some perfume, got all dolled up took it over to where he was laying his head at the moment, rang the doorbell and left it in his door. I was done and like clockwork the other shoe did drop with him and again he disappeared.
He popped up on myspace again we chatted briefly and like clockwork he disappeared again. See he never had a stable place to lay his head, and his disappearing acts are enough to drive me up the wall. Who wants that kind of instability when you are trying to build or work on a new relationship? I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he couldn't understand that and that was part of the huge reason why I never agreed to be his women. He also had this very nasty habit of cutting me off every time I was speaking, he didn't listen to what I had to say, my thoughts were almost always overruled, he basically drove me up the freaking wall. With crazy chemistry like that mixed with a habitual pull towards each other we need our freaking heads examined...
I seen him the other day on yahoo messenger. He's driving trucks now from state to state prefect life for a nomad.
SO HELP ME GOD! YOU ARE A WORK OF ART! YOUR SPOILED! I DON'T KNOW IF YA' X MAN DID YOU LIKE THAT OR YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER DID YOU LIKE THAT BUT YOU ARE SPOILED. YES I LIKE YOU AND ALL BUT YOU CAN'T JUST LOOK FOR ME TO GIVE MY ALL WHEN YOU JUST SIT THERE. THAT IS JUST WRONG! YOU HAVE THIS THING ABOUT YOU THAT IS CRAZY. AND YOU KNOW WHAT, I DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT. I HAD BROKEN MY BACK OVER ALL THIS. YOU DON'T EVEN SEE THE THINGS I HAD TO GET DONE. IN ORDER TO GET WHERE I'M AT. YOU JUST SEE THE OUT SIDE OF THINGS AND TAKE IT FOR WHAT ITS' WORTH. THATS NOT FARE TO ME. ALL YOUR DOING IS PUSHING ME AWAY. FOR WHAT " ONLY BECAUSE I WAS BROKE BACK IN THE DAY, SO I HAD THE BALLS TO TELL YOU I'LL TALK TO YOU WHEN I GET ON MY FEET". DO YOU EVEN NOTICE THE THINGS YOU SAY TO ME. I REALLY CAN'T SEE HOW YOU LIKE ME! YOU DON'T EVEN SHOW ME WHAT ! JUST BECAUSE YOU SHOWED UP AT MY HOUSE . DO I HAVE TO PAY YOU FOR YOUR TIME? YOU KNOW YOU GOT ME FU(K UP! THINKING I'M A SUCK'A THE WAY YOU TALK TO ME AND YOU KNOW I DON'T GET DOWN LIKE THAT . IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO BE A WOMAN (((((((((((((((((((((((((((NOW))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) YOU STILL ACTING LIKE A LIL GIRL YOU TALK A GOOD GAME I'LL GIVE YOU THAT BUT UNDER ALL THAT, YOUR NOTHING BUT A LIL GIRL! JUST LOOK AT IT YOU HAVE THAT IT TAKE YOU JUST DON'T USE IT YOU GET YOUR NAILS..FEET DONE BUT YOU DON'T ROCK DRESSES(?) YOU HAVE A NICE CAR, BUT YOU GO TO GAY CLUBS(?) DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE(?) YOU THINK YOUR SLICK, YOU TRY TO HIDE EVEN BEHIND YOUR SELF. AND YOU KNOW YOUR WRONG FOR TRY'N TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE ANY MONEY YOU FORGOT THE THINGS YOU SAID TO ME I USED EACH AND EVERY RED CENT I HAD TO MY NAME ON THAT YELLOW BASKET I GOT FOR YOU ON V-DAY IT WASN'T MUCH BUT YOU LOOK AT AS IF IT WAS CHEAP. THAT HURT ME SO BAD! BUT I OVER LOOKED IT AND WHEN ON TRY'N TO MAKE YOU HAPPY SO WE WENT OUT TO THE GARDENS, FOR DINNER AND A MOVIE. YOU LOOK AT ME AS IF I HAD MILLIONS ON ME. IF ANY TIME IN MY LIFE I EVER FELT SO LOW TO THE GROUND, THAT WAS IT. I NEVER KNEW ANY ONE THAT TREAT ME SO LOW. SEE A GOOD WOMAN WOULD LIFT YOU UP IN THE BAD TIMES BECAUSE SHE KNOWS,SHES GOING TO HAVE SOME HER SELF. A GOOD WOMAN WILL STAND BY HER MAN NO MATTER WHAT! SO ASK YOUR SELF ARE YOU A GOOD WOMAN? BECAUSE I DON'T SEE ONE. I'M NOT GOING TO CATER TO YOUR NEEDS. YOUR NOT FIT FOR THAT! YOU KNOW YOU FU(K UP NOW I'LL JUST TALK TO YOU WHEN YOU GET UP BECAUSE YOU DONE DID IT NOW I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE DOING ME LIKE THAT. YOU MUST THINK THAT I'M DUMB! YOU HAVE KNOW IDEA! 1
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This is exciting I have people emailing me telling me how they think the high priestess of music is as stale as a day old cracker. I knew that though it may be new stuff to the youngsters nothing get old but clothes and even they come back in style and beyaki's style is pure copy right down to her spray tan. I am not the only one who thinks this youtube it folks so don't even try and jump bad with me over the highly worshiped overrated knock off queen. I hadn't seen the video below until one of my loyal readers (I love saying that) was so kind to show us the light by shining it on the stink that is beyaki or as I like to call her in my mind (the high priestess of wigs, lace fronts, and weaves). This heffa has copied the choreography down to the last kick ball shuffle oh beyaki you have been found guilty of style jacking in the worst way. It's a shame but when the truth is called upon I must heed it's call. It's bigger than me folks it's the beyaki take down we shall do it one by one. YES WE CAN, remember to vote! The following note with the video submitted by Nena:
Heya. My names Nena and I read and follow you through TheUrbanBlogger and your personal blog. Hope you remember but even if you don't know I'm here in the midwest loving your updates faithfully. For whatever reason I am not able to leave my comment on your page but if you like you can post it for me.
Ok, like seriously world... let's get over Beyonce or as ms.j calls her Beyaki. (LOVE IT) Her choreography isn't so original these days either...peep the video:
There are supposed to be certain things in this world that save you for instance Family, Love, Friends, Money, children and Friends/Family with money. It’s the very principle that fairy tales are founded on. Cinderella was saved by her fairy godmother, and then she married a prince. Sleeping beauty was beautiful, came from a kingdom, got awaken by her prince and of course lived happily ever after. The little Mermaid gave up her voice to gain legs, but she got her voice and the prince, etc. In every movie I have ever seen there is always this one beautiful character that is a complete mess but she always manages to be saved and made better by a prince charming type character and vice verse. Or sometimes the saving grace is a small subtle type thing but it’s still a kind of saving grace none the less.
Even television is scripted like that there is always some horrible character that gets saved by the beautiful handsome popular with money savior type. Even when it’s all bad it eventually becomes all good again. I wish that were true in my case. It is so hard to stay positive when it seems like everything is all wrong and when there doesn’t seem to be any kind of solution coming forth. I know that some where along the lines I screwed up I get that, but the screw up seems to be so bad that I can’t fix it. I don’t think it is a cop out to ask for help, I don’t think that is a cop out to be “saved” sometimes people need a hand, a push, a shove, a hug, a shoulder to lean or cry on. I keep hoping that some how some where I might get blessed enough to bump into some kind of saving grace. Something that tips the balance of life back into the winning position for me and once again I can get back to being fly and fresh. Anyway enough about me what are some of the things that have/do save you on a regular basis?
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I like the lyrics, but the visual is seriously lacking what the hell beyaki did you run out of creative concepts? This is like watching a tranny workout video I do not likey go back to the lab came up with something better damnit. Give me a story video hell even Kanye West me but this shit is boring visually and I. DO. NOT. LIKEY!
Now on this song the beat is boring and so is her voice, but the video is alright better than the tranny workout video. I don't know it must be me but something is not quite right with either of these songs. I really don't like this song beyaki please go back to the lab and come with something better. I mean honestly I like ciara's if I was a boy song much better. These videos are sorry Beyaki, and Beyaki fans you need to go see about your girl see if she need some more inspiration because if these videos and songs are an indication of things to come I don't foresee myself buying this album. I know her fans will follow her regardless especially since she is such a huge gay male icon but seriously we in a recession and if I have to steal in order to have I'm not risking getting caught for wackness. At least if I am going to start stealing let it be for something worth going to jail for. Beyaki EPIC FAIL, DO. NOT. WANT! RETURN TO SENDER STAMPED TRY AGAIN!
Usually I try not to step on peoples creative input because it's just that their creative input but these songs and videos are highly forgettable, is she in creative regression and while we on it what is up with her hair game? Did the wig crypt/ lace front industry go on strike? I am utterly confused what direction is she going in? Is this her evolution is she trying to "keep it real" like her oh so "different" sister? Let me give this chick the benefit of the doubt and see what else she has in store but right now her stock with me is falling faster than the dow jones average. Not that it was up there to begin with but at least she had some decent songs before. Well her first solo album was decent, the 2nd one was a homage to dancing right?
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I know this post is rather long but you can read it all over the weekend which means you can come back often if you get the chance and read it at your leisure. Anyhow it is a full meal type post full of ideas, thoughts and concepts so if you have some time to spare please, kick your shoes off, grab a bottle of wine, maybe some cheese and crackers and some fruit and get your read on.
I AM 30 AND SINGLE!
Don’t worry this post is not about me actually but I guess I have fallen into that rank statistic that black women are falling into. You know the one, the one that says more and more African American women are staying single longer especially the ones in their 30’s and beyond. I hate that statistic it makes me sound like a leper. I might be a lot of things but leper I am not.
But that statistic is a testament to our very day and age we are achieving a lot of things us women, most of us are getting degrees and we are earning top dollars with said degrees and let us not forget this Ms. Independent movement we got going on. You know the one, the one that Ne-yo dedicated not one but two songs to. The one that tells the world I don’t need a man for nothing but some late night loving so I can unwind, but only if he’s acting right and then he has to get on his way because I got this! If you’re that type of woman and that’s what you like God bless.
Me on the other hand not really into that whole movement I think that women are taking things way to far with this “I am woman hear me roar type stuff”. Now before you get your feminist books and start marching on my blog hear me out. I don’t call myself a feminist per say, but I don’t really like titles. If I had to describe myself I would call myself a womanist. Never heard of it? That’s okay I just made it up.
What is a Womanist? A Womanist is a woman who is down for the movement of God, love, marriage, children, family, community and then self. She is also often times old school preferring a courtship over having sex buddies, she is into having fun but being responsible at the same time. She might not always be lady like but she is all woman through and through. She believes in having men hold open doors for her, she believes that she doesn’t have to trick or whore her body out because she knows she is worth more than any trinket sex could buy her. She most likely was raised in a two parent household thus she is a daddies girl, which means fellas have some pretty big shoes to fill if they are looking to take this type of woman out. She does what she has to do to keep it together but she shuffles her priorities accordingly when she is presented with an opportunity that she is seeking. A womanist is that nurturer that good girl with the low number of males who has seen her naked, the one who is a freak but she keeps it on the low and doesn’t feel the need to advertise that to every tom dick or harry. She is probably smart, funny, and unassuming just low key and therefore often overlooked and passed by because she is more traditional then new millennium. Now I know you are probably thinking she is going backwards in her thinking. No I’m not I think there are some thing’s more important in this life then amassing a huge amount of money, partying all night, sleeping with a bunch of different people, and just having a bunch of mindless episodes that still leave much to be desired after all is said and done. Understand what I am saying yes having a degree is important, having goals and obtaining them are important, but balance and knowing what really matters to you is VERY important. It depends on what you value. I think if you can have it all then go for it, but I am not seeing that in this current culture we live in.
Michelle: "Time and love and sacrifice and struggles make you stronger."
Source: Sandra Sobieraj Westfall, "The Obamas Get Personal", People, August 4, 2008, page 57.
Barack: "If I ever thought this was ruining my family, I wouldn't do it."
Source: Sandra Sobieraj Westfall, "The Obamas Get Personal", People, August 4, 2008, page 57.
Michelle, about fidelity in their marriage: "I never worry about things I can't affect, and with fidelity ... that is between Barack and me, and if somebody can come between us, we didn't have much to begin with."
Source: Ebony, March 2006 v61 i5 p58(4)
Women decided to trade in the mommy/wife roles and for some ethnicity groups it backfired. Especially for African American men and women it backfired. When already there were single black mothers raising children on their own, then came this Ms. Independent movement which pushed even more black men out the door. The funny thing is YT women aren’t having this issue. They are still getting degrees and still being stay at home mothers, they are still getting married and raising their children and have no problem doing it at all. Other cultures have no problem getting married and other cultures are marrying black men left and right because these women are not crushing the already fragile black man male ego. Black women can be too hard at times but brotha’s I am not letting you guys off the hook either. Dating outside your race and saying you hate black women is a cop out, and a direct slap to the face of your mother, grandmother, sisters, aunts, and all the other black women in your family.
I think it’s sad when you feel you have to jump outside of your culture and get someone else from another culture to marry when there are plenty eligible women in ones own culture already. Why are black folks so eager to bend over backwards for others but can’t even do for their own? Why should I be forced to marry outside my race because the men in my own culture see me as unworthy or the enemy? That is an awful ugly feeling black men and I don’t think any of you see it as a direct slight to black women. I don’t understand why you feel you have to step on and over a black woman to get someone outside of your culture to marry? I really don’t want to hear that love is colorblind love is an emotion not a person, a person most often times are not colorblind. So please don’t leave that in my comment section I don’t want to hear it, on this topic I’m sure I will revisit but back to what I was saying.
I think that for me I have seen all these women who have achieved so much and made all these great strides but they don’t have any balance to get all these great things love, marriage, and sometimes families were sacrificed and now they are alone and want a man and family around them but it’s not happening. I think it is wonderful to have goals and achieve them to make these huge strides and everyone should be proud of the things they have achieved but I don’t think love should be sacrificed on the alter of success just so one can make it. A fine example of that which I speak on are Michelle and Barack Obama. Both outstanding lawyers in their own right, Michelle has a degree but she is also in my opinion a womanist, she could say forget your plans Barack I want to become this great lawyer put her two girls in daycare and let her husband go his merry way, but she didn’t do that she supported his decision which I’m sure they discussed, and she loved her husband enough to say whatever you need I am behind you 110% because I am your helpmate and I want you to be happy. Do you think Barack could have run for president if he didn’t have the backing of his first lady already? Do you think that he would have stepped out on that traitorous campaign trial without the blessing, love and support of his helpmate? I think not ladies and gentlemen.
I look at the Obama’s and it gives me hope that real love still exist and then I look at my surroundings and think maybe not. I believe that love is a right that everyone should have I believe that love should and can make you better. I don’t see love as the enemy I see people who pretend to love you and lure you into a false sense of security as the enemy. Love can not break your heart nor tear you down, false bearers who pretend to love that do that, and Love does not harm you people do that physically, mentally and emotionally. Love is the purest form of energy but when people use it as a weapon that’s when others get hurt. You should never be angry, sad, or hurt when love ends because you were given the chance to taste this sweet sweet fruit at least once and when you were In the midst of it, it made you better and It made you want to be better, Love ladies and gentlemen is not the enemy it is the ache in all of us that is longing to be filled. So black folks Stop perpetrating frauds and wearing these heavy coats of armor that hide your heart from the world and each other, preventing love will only leave you alone and miserable and who wants that kind of life for themselves?
New videos I love Jazmine Sullivan her new album is on heavy rotation. I don't think a lot of people get her, first her voice is different and she isn't all out of her clothes she is just a vocalist and since the masses are so used to crap her talent goes over a lot of peoples heads. I go hard for the artist/anything I feel passionate for so insulting an artist I like is like calling me out my name. I understand if every one's taste is different but to shit on people who are creative is a no no in my book. I guess I am more sensitive musically wise since the major players in my family are musically inclined. Forget sports we go hard for music in this house.
I love Kanye also I don't care what he does because on some levels I understand him I think he thinks complex and his latest videos have been different from the norm no naked video chicks oiled up in push up bras and sexy panties, it takes balls to think outside the box. Plus I like the lyrics to this particular song people were like why he not rapping, wow people learn to think beyond black and white!
I have always like O'shea Jackson I even like him in his family movies and he shows the evolution of what a rapper is supposed to be no he's not perfect but he keeps it real and I can get behind that and when have you ever heard Cube's name in conjunction with some mess? NEVER he do his thing and keeps it moving, he ain't out here chasing skirts, he a real family man and he about his business. He from the hood and carry the hood with him but he don't act niggerish and you know what I mean (most of you do). I don't know anyone who like hood life unless they have just given up on themselves.
It's truly amazing to watch siblings as they grow and go places you have already been but they think that they are the first ones to ever step toe out of the comfort of home. It's amazing how just beginning the first years of college can turn one into a certified asshole overnight, you would think that siblings would humble themselves enough to say I haven't made it yet I am only beginning this journey and you might have some advice on the subject so let me remain humble and try and learn from someone who has been there and done that but no. Some people learn hard, they have to touch fire to see that it burns, they have to touch a razor and cut themselves before they believe its sharp.
It irritates me when people think that because they are on the same path that others have walked even though their journey is just beginning they are above those that came before them. It's sad to see when a member of your family is oblivious to others thoughts and feelings, they don't see the sacrifices that others have made, they don't see the backs that they are stepping on they think that they got it all locked up and that they won't be where others have failed. Pride always cometh before a fall, it's great to want to achieve things and become something and follow your dreams but your dreams shouldn't have to come at the expense of others dignity and self esteem. I hate that family is the main people who take advantage of you because they feel like you are obligated to always be there for them, or obligated to do things for them when you aren't.
It's amazing how sometimes family is just another way of saying license to be verbally abusive and emotionally scarring to those that share your same DNA. For the sake of my sibling I hope he does reach the goal of where he is trying to go but if he is going to continue to do it at others expense I hope he is prepared to not ever need any support because the same people you stepped on to get to the top is the very same people you will have to see on your way down to the bottom!
I want the very best for all of my siblings but I will damned if I am their personal whipping post that is not in this BPYT'S personal description, might have to bring on some tough love!
Anyway sorry for the vent post but we all have family that drives us up the wall right? It would be great if you guys could drop off some dealing with family tips before a sista catch a case because I can't blog from jail, so save me if you love my blog and leave copping tips in the comment section please and thank you.
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