Friday, August 06, 2010

THE DEBUT OF BOOTY PIMPLE D, AKA CHIPPY D, AKA M. LET THE FISHBURN

Disclaimer: IF you are offended by porn then skip the video at the bottom of this post, you have been warned.

So every blue-moon comes along a story about a celeb-whore-t or their offspring that just makes me say "ummm what was going on in your house?" Now I know there are plenty porn stars walking around that just happen to have tragic upbringings that led them to a life of porn and then there are those who said, shit I like sex, I can twerk it half decent let me go get my porn star on and to each his own if that's how you choose to make a living so be it at least you not just giving it away but then there are the Chippy D's who say I'm okay looking and I got a half decent shape and since I have a famous last name let me go get this money and twerk for the camera and whore my name out and shame my family in the process. I would think that the porn route would be a last ditch effort for anyone but in today's society taking your clothes off and then telling the whole world you did it is a sure money maker, so naked is the new PR move.

However there are a lot of things in the porn industry that go on that are not for the faint of heart (rampant infections, disease outbreaks, not to mention the totally wrecked vagina walls, and collapsed anal cavities) but that's a no-brainer (no fluffer). One of the things that I know for me in light of Montana Fishburn A.K.A. Chippy D's venture into porn is that her dad really seems like a stand up kind of guy. Now I don't know the Fishburn's personally but I did grow up watching Laurence Fishburn in all my favorite movies and again like I said I don't know the Fishburn's but damn before his daughter went out like that she could have came to her dad and been like, "hey pops, I want to be famous what route do you think I should take, or can you help a sista out?"

But I suspect that when the child support for Montana stopped at age 18 she got to looking around like, "oh shit I don't have a life plan, and my lifestyle is in danger and the checks from daddy have stopped what do I do? Then she said I know I can do PORN! If the whoredashian's can make a living off a wack sex tape shot with someones brother then I can surely peddle ass literally." I guess porn was a better option than working at a burger king. However since she is 18 or 19 she is legally able to do what she wants with her body and if she wants to toot it up for the world to see then hey make your money girl but...listen Chippy D those butt pimples or disease that you have on your hind parts you might want to consult a doctor about that and possibly get you a cream or a type of pill to clear that up its a real mood killer to see a butt full of just nasty bumps and butt acne, it makes me instantly think of herpes but I digress.  I will be including the 10 minute preview clip for the brave of heart, the curious, and the people who like to see car crashes on the freeway and insist on looking for bodies on the ground as they drive by slowly.

I haven't watched all 10 minutes of it when she turned around and I saw the butt pimples/acne/herpes I immediately turned it off and came to write this post so again I don't know what all is on this preview so enjoy.




Video Preview Provided by World Star Uncut Read more...

Monday, August 02, 2010

THE PRE-COUGAR RULES




With several of the long time shacking up celeb-whore-t's getting married these past couple of months it got me to thinking why did it take so long for these couples to make it down the aisle and then it dawned on me the women in these relationships where older than their male counterparts several years older in fact. They got these dudes when they were young and had to essentially wait until the dudes grew up and were actually ready for marriage even though they had shacked up for awhile. I guess in a young cats mind playing house and actually giving a woman his last name is two different animals. I'm not pointing fingers nor laying blame this is just my Ah-Ha moment which led me to this post which led me to really give some thought to the Pre-Cougar Rules.

Now If you're already a Cougar then you already know the rules if not you will soon learn them if you are a pre-cougar and you are still trying to navigate the murky waters of being with a younger man then allow me to break it down for you the way I have come to see it.

The Disclaimer: This is how I seeing it breaking down for me if you know some other rules or if I leave anything out please feel free to let me know thanks.

Definition to me of a Pre-Cougar: A woman who is 28-35 that is attracted too or attracts nothing but younger men

A Regular Cougar: 36+

The Break Down Age wise Males:

18-21: These boys are mannish and they talk a great deal of shit. Now don't be fooled by the baby faces and the bird chest some of these y.a.t's* got their start by lying about their ages from the jump when they were 14 they were lying and saying they were 16, when they were 16 they were lying saying they were 18 etc, you see the pattern. These youngsters are in it to win it they go hard in the paint being with older women is their bread and butter, sometimes they are users, sometimes older women are what they are geniunly attracted too, and sometimes more often than not they are looking for a mother replacement. You have to tread lightly in this category but of course a guy this young is not looking for anything serious he might stay around longer than usual if he has it extremely good, ie a playstation, a place to lay his head, a car to drive, hot home cooked meals, and plenty sex, these things will keep the y.a.t* interested and loyal for a minute but eventually he will get bored, and he will get itchy feet and that's when the trouble starts up. So pre-cougars remember this age group is fun to play with but they aren't keepers, they are best for their stamina, hard-dick, and play time only.

22-25: Usually they are still mannish but since they have some road mileage on them by this age they are a little bit smarter, and their mouth game has been tried and tested which means they can take shit and turn it into cake and having you eating it out the palm of their hands, they know the right things to say including the marriage spill.  Now with these guys they will talk a good game and you might have a slim chance of marriage if you're looking for that but don't expect to date for a year and then start planning your wedding, you will either have to wait and see if he is sincere, which usually translates into waiting until he grows up if he stays around that long and you usually do this if you have the time to wait, in that waiting period you might end up with kids if you want them, and still no wedding but if your biological clock is ticking and you just want kids then this age bracket is your best bet. If you get a good y.a.t* then hopefully he has some schooling under his belt, a degree, a skill set other than being a rapper or producer, and if he has some hustle in him then he will take care of his kid(s) and it will be what it will be.

26-29: Now usually about this time the bloom for the y.a.t's* has faded a little bit but if they are hardcore attracted to older women they they will be setting their sights on women 36 and up, or they have aged while with their older women and now they are seriously ready to walk down that aisle, and within this age bracket they usually more or less have their shit together besides if you raised him since he was a cub he's already broken in, you've put in time and energy into him and this is when the pay off comes, they are more focused and they know what they want and they are trying to settle down and actually build a household.

Now there may be an exceptions to the rule every now and again but for the most part the break down  is pretty much standard in my opinion now if you know different then you are welcome to hit me up especially if you know something I don't or if you think I have missed a vital piece of info but other wise feel free to use this guide in your pre-cougar start up and happy and wise hunting.




*Y.A.T.: "Young And Tender" or "Young And Tasty" whichever you prefer. IF you're going to use my phrase just give me a shout out or link me thanks. Read more...