Tuesday, February 22, 2011


I know that people like to use grey areas because it makes life easier. If you can live in a grey area you don't have to make definitive decisions and you can usually be greedy with the life decisions you are making. For example: if you are legally separated and you think its okay to tell people you are single and that you are completely free to date not only are you a moron but you have unfinished business as well and to add insult to injury you are needlessly complicating someone else's life because you haven't made the decision to get a divorce or you aren't going to divorce but just be separated indefinitely. Why bring your unfinished business into someones uncomplicated life like that? That's not okay not by a long shot a legal separation does not mean finished it is a break, when you are on break at your job you don't get to clock out and leave because your work is not finished yet. It's the same thing with legal separation you're just taking a break you haven't finished the job yet, you're still on the clock no matter how long the break is until you resign or quit that job/marriage you are still under the law a spouse/ an employee.  Now it may be all good to the person who's separated and they may like living in that grey area but stop trying to date or go out with someone who is really unattached and really single and stop trying to convince someone with sense that the definition of separated really means single. I don't know what law you think you living under but in America separated is still married all day everyday and that's just the way it is and the way its going to stay it has the potential to cause confusion and issues later on, plus its messy. How dare you think its okay for you to start something fresh with someone else when you still haven't settled business at home stop doing that shit. I know that everyone you go out with is not going to be a match but dating for recreation is just not my thing but kudos to those of you that enjoy doing it.

It is already hard enough to meet a decent guy that you even want to talk on the phone with let alone go out with but no one needs the complications that having unfinished business brings. Already we enter relationships with baggage and issues but when you still have a whole marriage or a whole relationship you haven't ended you are compounding the problem exponentially. I really detest anyone that tries to bring drama to my doorstep especially when I am drama free so when a dude comes with the drama factor which is anything involving another women there is no need for further discussion no arguments or convincing needs to go on I'm shutting it down and you can go away plain and simple. So we shouldn't be having a discussion about the fact that you're involved and its all but over except you haven't filed divorce papers yet and If it's all but over why you haven't gotten that last step crossed? Yep I know divorce is ugly and no one wants to go through one and if you want to still be married but separated fine cool just stop talking to me and find someone else you can bait with that confusion because the kid right here is not having it.

Stop trying to peddle your grey area which is really confusion and chaos, because I will push right back with my black and white thinking. It's not complicated there is nothing complicated about making decisions in life either it or it isn't, right or wrong, yes or no, you will or you won't, you do or you don't, you can or you can't, love or hate, passion or apathy. People who like to muddy the waters and be wishy-washy and passive aggressive are usually the grey area dwellers. Cheaters live for grey areas, the people who write complicated for their relationship status are grey area dwellers. I mean really what's so complicated about it? You have a wife but you hate her that's not complicated that's married, you live with your baby momma but y'all are no longer together you still living with her doesn't matter where you stick your penis you still under the same roof, therefore you still involved with her and until you get your own place and move out you shouldn't be trying to deal with no one else. People make things complicated when they don't need to be complicated at all.

I don't pretend to understand people who live in grey areas or in denial everyone has their own coping methods but sticking your head in the sand during the rough parts of life won't make it better nor make it go away. It's okay to take a break when you're going through a rough patch in life but to completely block it out and not deal with it usually acerbates the problem and makes it worst. In my 32 years of life I've realized that usually you have to do the things you have to do in order to do the things you want to do in life there is just no way around it I wish there was oh how I wish there was. The bottom line to this post is this if you want to live in denial or the grey areas of life that's fine but don't expect me to reside their with you. I don't live in the grey I live firmly in the black and white you're welcome to come over to my side of the color spectrum but I most definitely won't be crossing over to yours and we don't need to hold a decision about it nor is there a need for you to try and persuade me to think your way you would be wasting your time and mines and time is something you can't get back and I'm stingy with my time and I don't like to waste it on inconsequential superfluous bullshit so step off drama kings and keep it rolling to the next and we won't have to have any problems, umk thanks.