Thursday, July 23, 2009


Lately I've been reading all these articles and opinions on why Marriage is a flawed institution and why it doesn't work anymore. We have all heard the statistics we have all seen the wedding-go-round that the celebrities ride on. We have seen it all its very rare in this day and age that you see a marriage healthy and intact especially in the african-american community. The whole world believes that black folks are only cut out to be baby mommas and baby daddies until we have accepted that shit and ingested that shit. I asked my youngest brother his thoughts on marriage and he's 19 and upon hearing his explanation he almost single handily restored my faith in why I value Marriage and think that it's important. If a 19yr old can still have faith in Marriage then there is still hope after all.

I have found myself torn, conflicted and somewhat confused and disheartened about marriage as of late. We in this society have become so selfish and just negative and ugly to one another especially when it concerns men and women interaction, and don't let me get started on the lack of black love period! Marriage is from a spiritual point and how many people keep God first and foremost in their lives in this day and age? We have all these new-aged philosophies and these new-age answers but the answers medicate the problems but they don't fix anything. How many people still believe that there should be three people in a marriage, the man the woman and God? I know to me specifically Marriage is something that I have always held in high esteem, even when the Marriages around me have all been dysfunctional. Call me an eternal optimist where marriage is concerned but I don't think its the institution of marriage that is failing but the very people who enter into the sanctity of marriage as if it wasn't a sacred union that is hard work and something that should be respected and cherished not taken with just a grain of salt are the cause of the problem.

Marriage is hard work, building a foundation, a legacy, a home is hard work. Staying in love, nurturing it, protecting it, and working on it takes tenacity and resilience. Staying together through sickness and health, lay offs, down times, repossessions, bad credit, etc being in a committed union with someone is hard work. Staying married until death parts you WILL BE HARD WORK but you have to ask yourself is this what I want, is this what I value, are we equally yoked? There are a bunch of questions one should ask themselves, there is premarital counseling one should go to and even then you have to really take a look at what you're actually getting married for. What are you expectations for said marriage, do both of you want children, what about income, etc. Above all know who you are linking your life with, you can't build your household with someone who is your enemy think about it.... Anyway I wasn't trying to change anyone's opinion on marriage and I don't even know if marriage is written in the stars for me but I still want to believe that marriage has a value and I will probably be the last woman standing holding on to my beliefs, but they say if you don't believe in something you will fall for anything and that is for damn sure!

Some links about marriage and love of course: