INFIDELITY IS THE NU FIDELITY

After I watched the above video I was of two minds. First I was like okay let me try and see if I can scrounge up some compassion some empathy for this man since he was in the gripes of a powerful addiction. With any addiction comes issues, problems, a testimony,and hella battle scars. I was almost able to empathize with this man until he had the audacity to say that if his wife ever cheated on him then he would leave her. I felt humiliated for his wife, and sad for her at the same time. I can see that she loves her husband deeply and is truly committed to making her marriage work which is evident by her still being married to this man, even though the man gave her STD's twice. He also could have given her HIV or AIDS I don't believe I could love someone that hard to let them just kill me because of something that is within themselves. This man knew he wasn't right he thought marrying his wife would put his libido in check, clearly it didn't. What level of delusion and denial does one have to live in to deal with this type of emotional murder?

Love, Faith, and tenacity helped this woman stay with her husband and while I applaud those things I can't help but wonder where in the marriage vows did it say stay even when he was sleeping with 90 women a month. Why did it take him 20 years to fix his addiction? What part of the addiction made him hardly use protection? Why was his wife's love stronger then the addiction allowing her to stay with him time and time again but it wasn't strong enough for him to want to seek help sooner? Then I wonder does she respect herself? Does she love herself enough? Did she make the right choice in sticking around for 20 years with this man? When she looks in the mirror does she like the woman she is? If her daughters were to go through this same thing would she tell them to stick it out? She was even going to kill herself after he lost his NBA assistant coaching job and the only thing that saved her was her pastor...I know that women put up with a lot when it comes to men and love but again I have to say when is enough, enough?

But Is there anyone who isn't cheating in this day and age? Why even marry, or claim that you are in a relationship with someone just to cheat on them anyway. That is so dumb stop making commitments you can't keep. Cheating, lying, sleeping with other people, being confused as to who the father is to your children, all of that can be avoided if people would just be honest. Tell the truth even if it hurts I personally would rather hurt for a minute then hurt for a lifetime. Stop wounding, and killing people emotionally with betrayal, mistrust, and lies, I know all the celeb-whore-t's in the world would have you believe that being a whore male or female is what's hot and since the majority of the people in the world seem to be sheep who can't think for themselves but prefer to take their cues from celebs society will continue to be a cesspool of debauchery and insanity. Its enough to make you want to become a christian fundamentalist with right wing ideals. I'm almost scared of what the next generation is going to go through. If the ugly mess we call families, values, and relationships carry on this current path I am afraid to even think of what my niece and nephews will have to deal with my niece especially... I am sad for my generation and deeply sad for the next generation behind me something needs to change or society will just continue to erode... Read more...

HAVING A DEEP IN MY FEELINGS MOMENT, GETTING SHIT OUT MY SYSTEM

I don't know how many of you have heard the expression "deep in my feelings" it usually means that you're feeling overly agitated, annoyed, pissed off, etc usually its associated with being overly emotional and attached to a situation that you really shouldn't be getting overly emotional about/over and its usually used in a negative kind of way. Dudes are especially fond of telling women (just a little example to illustrate my point) "damn girl why you all deep in yo feelings over the shit? I don't even know that girl" end example.

However there are some things that just annoy the dog shit out of me but again the expression "if you want to make GOD laugh tell him about YOUR plans" springs to mind. Because you can certainly want to try and intergret someone into your life you can plan on wanting them to be that special person, or plan on them sticking around however that might not always work out in your favor and it never seems to work out in mines especially since the way a person acts, thinks, and feels is out of our control some things are just out of our hands. With that said I want to talk about some shit that even though its out of my hands STILL annoys the dog shit out of me.

1. When you're talking to a dude he either, talks to you sometimes or partially and only when you hit him up first BUT he always in a chat room, always on messenger, and always some where doing something else but holding a conversation with you. It's like okay already if you not feeling me say so stop trying to placate my feelings every time we talk just be a man about it if it ain't working between us and you not feeling it then it's just not going to work out I get that I can appreciate that if you tell me that, in other words lets have some clarity and closure on the situation don't just leave without formerly severing ties that shit is just rude and annoying to say the least.

2. When someone calls you, you miss the call you go to call them back and they don't answer the phone, you text them they still don't answer really you went to sleep or you're so deep in the cut like that? Why did you even call then hell!

3. When a person wants to stop talking to you and they just start to ignore you instead of just flat out telling you...what are we 12? You can't say you don't want to be bothered anymore I'm not a stalker like that I can handle being told to get lost.

4. When you meet a guy on a social networking site and in every other comment on his page is a chick that is laying claim to him in more than one of his pictures and its the same chick over and over, yea red flag.

5. When a dude just up and disappear and shit and you can't find their asses in the daytime with a flashlight.

6. When you tell a dude up front look these are my expectations and they act like they will at least try and meet them and they don't even half ass attempt to hit the mark smh GTFO* dude.

7. When all you ask for is a little bit of attention, some communication, and some effort on their part and they just give you their ass to kiss.

8. Last but certainly not least DO NOT HAVE ME PUT YOU IN THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS CALLING LIST if your punk ass isn't planning on staying around and shit really dude come the fuck on someone else could have been in that spot you wasting my resources smh.

So yes I was deep in my feelings this shit was bugging me sticking me like a thorn and I had to get it out of my system. The purpose of getting things out of your system like moving your bowels is so that the shit in your system won't weigh you down and make your system toxic giving you a shitty outlook and causing you to frown more than you would smile so yes I have gotten that shit out of my system and hopefully I will be right as rain once again or until I get annoyed again but thanks for reading and if you can identify then leave me your pet peeves in the comments.



*GTFO = GET THE FUCK ON, as is in get the fuck on up the road. Read more...

LOVE AND LEMON WATER

(this song sums it all up perfectly)

It's officially Febuary and with that comes a couple of things a shorter month, black history month which is practically forgotten and that auspicious day where everyone either gets freaked out, giddy, or totally hate it, yep that's right that time of the year again where you will be inundated with messages of love ad nauseum. As I've gotten older and also through the years I have never ever had a boyfriend or even someone I was "talking" too coincide with feb 14th divine intervention or the bigger question that I keep coming back to in my mind is maybe I am just not meant to be with anyone AT ALL!

Hell with all the "statistics" about the black woman and marriage maybe I am just supposed to ride this life out unattached and childless statistically speaking that is what the numbers say right? I mean we all know the saying "If you want to make GOD laugh tell him about YOUR plans" maybe I am just one of those people who aren't meant to be boo'ed up. When people ask me why I'm single so many reasons often come to mind but the basic bottom line is I really just don't think that there is a He for me. I'm not sad when I type that and I'm not forlorn not by a long shot it's just one of those things that I have suspected for awhile and I am just acutely aware of it. I haven't met a guy yet that has stuck some where around meeting them and trying to get to know them they just simply wander off or they suck with follow through or they just don't have that umph that makes me want to even remotely give them a chance.

(this song well the chorus always seems to play in my head for whatever reason and I have watched this video many times but I never noticed Usher in it for whatever reason until just today funny.)

I'm not even picky nor remotely shallow when having interest for a guy but I know what will and what won't work for me and a lot of what passes for dating these days is simple and utter bullshit I do come with expectations and standards, and I also know that the 2010 guy hates the words expectations, communication, honesty, loyalty, and waiting so you can see the potential problems one might run into in the dating spectrum if that is part of your dating expectations. Not everyone is going to get to fall in love, meet the guy/girl of their dreams, have the wedding, the white picket fence with the two kids in the yard, and the dog and cat. I wish that society didn't place the value of a black women so low and I wished that black men didn't either but what can you do when given lemons make lemonade but sometimes there just won't be any sugar to take the bitter away... so you have to make do with just lemon water sometimes it is what it is and what it will be. Read more...