Sunday, April 07, 2013


What does one consider slow when getting to meet a person especially a person you've met through a social app? How many text messages, skype dates, phone calls, does one do before you actually meet face to face?

 I know people are scared about being catfished or some may not like the whole meeting people off of social sites at all. But let's be realistic with the advance of technology who doesn't have a phone that utilizes apps? Let's take it a step further who didn't join places like myspace, blackplanet, migente, asianplanet, paltalk, yahoo chat rooms when they first came out? My point is if you are in your late 20's early 30's you remember these sites some of you may have even hooked up a time or two or three with someone you met through these sites and if you're like me a person who practically lives on her laptop then you know that these social sites; if you let them can bring you a lot of things some good some bad some indifferent. I know everyone likes to holler out the same old tired line "you can't trust people on the internet, they lie, they can pretend to be anybody." Can I get a show of hands of people who lie without a computer, who don't need a computer to help them lie. The dude you meet at the burger stand can be a liar, the chick you meet at the bookstore can be a liar. Anyone can make up a persona with or without a computer and to be honest the percentage of people I've met through online means have been more honest and real then the people I have encountered in my daily life but that's just my personal experiences.

For me its always been far easier to connect with people digitally then through traditional means. I'm more comfortable that way and I don't have to do or go anywhere I don't want too. I know some prefer the traditional methods but traditional has went out the window folks; again unless you're dating someone older everyone is digital or they have at least tried it a couple of times. I know that with the MTV show catfish people have been more wary of meeting people off of the computer and no I've never watched the show and I can't say I would even be a fan either. You have to remember with anything you do to use sense and if something seems to be good to be true then it usually is and who doesn't have a webcam or a phone with a front facing camera on it these days? There is no excuse to even talk to someone who keeps giving you the runaround if they can't skype or oovoo with you on the computer or their phone then guess what most likely they have something to hide but I digress. 

Back to my original point is there such a thing as going too slow when you've meet someone you want to get to know better are some people just more trusting and eager to meet than others? Is there a protocol to meeting someone you've met digitally  is there a certain timetable for when things have to get done? I mean if you hold a conversation online with a person all day, if you then go so far as to exchange numbers to text and you've done a couple days of that, you enjoy the conversation, you enjoy the person's personality, they tell you they enjoy yours but yet no phone calls have been made, and they say they want to take it slowly they want to build up a friendship, then maybe it will turn into more over time with no real timetable with no real end in sight just endless texting back and forth. How long would you hang in there for? Would you feel like this person is hiding something or are they just gun shy to the whole dating digital? Even though keep in mind you did meet said person through digital means. After awhile the bells start going off something is not right with this person they're either trying to hide something or they're just not with the situation so its time to cut your losses and keep it moving even if the chemistry might have been great. I don't do well in limbo with no defined outcomes on the horizons. For me I'm not the most patient person in the world but if I meet someone and they aren't at least trying to meet up for coffee within three to four days of meeting or they not even trying to suggest we meet then you're not really looking for anything but a text buddy or you might have way too much going on or you simply aren't that interested and your life is bigger than your social ambitions and I can respect that, I don't have a problem with that but that's not for me. If you are legit trying to get to know me then you put in the effort or step out of the way so someone else can. 

This isn't sex in the city and I'm not Carrie Bradshaw I don't have time to hunt down my very own Mr. Big and chase him for 10 years until he decides he's old enough to stop chasing skirts and might as well throw the one persistent woman who's been chasing him this whole time a bone in the form of marriage. No thank you, she had her 20's to waste on said man and much of her 30's. This is not a Korean drama either where the persistent cute plucky girl chases after the bastard of a guy who shits all over her until he discovers he's really in love with her. I'm neither of these type of characters I'm the one character with the great sense of humor that enjoys her solitude but at the sametime wouldn't mind having a man who understood her and loved being around her. I would love to find a guy who was just the right speed not too fast not too slow but just right. One that moves at a pace that's right for both of us. Why is that such a hard thing to find I mean fuck all these people in the world and there is not one damn person that's supposed to be for me? It boggles the mind really.

  Meeting people has changed so much until everyday it feels like there is something new going on that I'm not aware of. I get that people all have their own agendas and their own timetables but respect mines and I will respect yours. How you not trying to even meet face to face though and its not even on some sex shit its legit just about letting me feel your vibe in person lets see if we can keep up the same chemistry we do over text. I don't want to push anyone outside of their comfort zone but if you're that shy that you can't even meet me at a bookstore then you don't need to be using social apps to find people to friend because you simply aren't ready for that step. You have to join groups that are more your speed like I'm shy don't look at or tumblr hell no one talks to anyone on tumblr. It's a real pity too someone people will have to be missed out on because they just simply aren't up to the task of meeting but what can you do. You can't force another human being to bend to your will that sort of thing I'm sure is morally wrong and might even be criminal in some cases. Anyway leave your thoughts, comments, and responses if you have any.