DEAR OPRAH, WELCOME BACK ...

Dear lady O,



First and foremost welcome back to team chunk, while you were gone we missed you. 2ndly since you are the voice for the people please tell them again for the slow witted that dieting while a cute way to drive yourself completely insane never works. It is in fact a slow form of torture just an unhealthy way to over obsess over your body.

Since sense is not common let me share a few tidbits with you as far as nutrition goes, it's the calories you consume, minus your output and when you add into the equation a under active thyroid gland that equals a hard row to hoe. Diets never work unless you plan to eat like that solely for life. With anything in life its about moderation, but since the diet industry is a billion dollar industry no one will listen to reason and the general public would much rather read the labels on boxes, measure all its food, starve yourself, take pills that promise to shrink your waist line, buy ab machines that promise to give you a 9 pack, or buy tapes with perky instructors telling us how high to kick that knee. Meanwhile American's get fatter, the get sadder, and the diet weight loss establishment get's richer. When there is no real solution and just a lot of gimmicks, helped with a healthy dose of shame, and unrealistic aspirations given to the masses you get a yo-yo effect, because if all these diets, pills, exercises, gyms, solutions worked wouldn't we all be a one sized world?



Lady O I applaud your candor at sharing your weight with the world because you didn't have too and I don't think personally its anyone's damn business what dress size you wear. I however would not have went on television and told them a specific number, I simply would have said that I have gained some weight due to the holidays and winter months and appealed to all the other non-beyonce regular women in the world who have done the same and then I would have started January with a new outlook a cute workout wardrobe and a fun way to workout while looking cute.

Also since you are back on team chunk for at least a little while this is your time to tell these designers to get their team chunk design on, stop hating on bigger women. And have no fear if you want to be stylish simply call Monique she can find you a hot couture big girl gown in a minute. She is the queen of pretty plus sized fashion and there are plenty places that cater to plus sized women with elegant affordable dresses not the ugly tents of yesteryear that no one wanted to wear. I know you were living the "skinny" dream and you thought your team chunk days were over but Lady O fear not this does not mean your life is less meaningful nor over it just means there is more again for you to love.



This is also the perfect time to tell the world that in order to truly have a healthy relationship with ones self you have to love the skin your in no matter if it's a size -0 or if its a size 20 and beyond. Stop listening to the negative people, the doomsayers, the so called taste makers and tune into yourself. There will be plenty of people telling you how bad you have done, how ashamed you should be, and giving you all kinds of bad body get skinny quick advice, and please Lady O whatever you do please do not go on the crazy broads who design bad clothes lemonade diet. I can only hope that you might goggle yourself often and that this open letter to you might come up but if not I wrote this with you in mind.

Signed a member of team chuck, who still thinks you look fab even if the world is telling you otherwise.




P.S. It seems like in this society there isn't a balance there are young girls killing themselves to look skeletal the newest craze to hit youtube is called thinspiration videos full of anorexia starved young women who think food is there enemy. Dear Lady O if there was ever a time to try and crusade and save the world it would be now. In case a person comes across this particular blog, the thinspiration craze is unhealthy! Read more...

TIS' THE SEASON FOR GIVING/SOMETHING TO CHECK OUT

Hey my most favorite people (Dulce and my Sis) and the rest of my readers random and regular who read this blog. I know the last post was all venty but I had to get it out my system so I could get right/write and try and get back in the season of things.

December is the month of endings. We get one big holiday before it ends we reflect we think back we ponder the things that are going on in our life, we make changes and assessments and we plan for the new year accordingly. I know for me I pray that my life goes in an upswing and I pray that with the new president and the renewed sense of hope that the president makes us all feel we will all do our parts to make this world just a little bit better. (Trying hard to be optimistic)

With that said I wouldn't be me without saying I know we all are having times and I am not addressing those of you that are I am specifically talking too those mini moguls who spend money on things like it's water. Those that buy 300.00 dollar shirts and pants each without even blinking an eye. IF you don't do one solid unselfish thing this holiday at least give a 50.00 to a local charity, volunteer some time to help kids who have nothing.  Hell if you want to help a black girl who is down on her luck but is a well intentioned soul, who could greatly use all donations big or small then please feel free to drop some holiday love in my paypal account by hitting the neglected and ignored donate button to your right at the top of the first column...yeah that one it works it's not just a pretty application (typed with luv of course).

If the world could care about SAVING KARYN why can't it concern itself with a down on her luck 78msj and if it makes you feel any better I didn't run up any bills shopping, drinking starbucks, are getting mani and pedis, I was just trying to make ends meet that were not made of elastic and got popped by that rubber band called life! I am a worthy celeb (in my own mind) cause. Any and all donors will get you a personal shoutout and some kind of video dedication music of course and if you want to include an email address well an email will also be shot your way.

Last but not least I know plenty of talented youth like my LITTLE BRO and now my Godsister TIA P. has her first single out called GO, find it on itunes and amazon.com. I must say it is easier to pull up on itunes then it is for amazon.com if anyone knows the trick to finding it on amazon leave me a comment. Otherwise despite the economic ish going on in the world cherish the things most important, family, friends, loved ones, pets, and good times. Read more...

HINDSIGHT IS THE BITCH THAT IS MARRIED TO LIFE

I feel like after a certain age certain things you just should know better, when you are in your twenties then sure it's that between time from teenager to real adult so go ahead trial and error your butt off, but once you get to that 30 mark you should know better, and do enough in your twenties to have fun but you gotta keep your eye on the prize because after 29 there are no do overs. Shit is what it is! You should have spent your twenties discovering what path you wished to take in life and setting your eyes upon the future that's what your twenties are for. By the time your 30th birthday comes around you should be ready to be a full adult, putting behind you all hood rat, ghetto mentalities, establishing your career, or business, setting sights on getting your first house and hopefully if your blessed at least engaged. Ideally that is the way it should go but see to me that IS MY IDEAL on how it should work the fucked up part is hindsight is a bitch! I went through my twenties directionless just floundering, in my youth I wasn’t so wise I didn’t see things clearly like I should have. I was distracted and I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. Now at 30 I have all of these hindsight but now it’s like too little too late. My life is all fucked off and it just doesn’t seem to be getting any better.

My Madre for one doesn't think that I am hard enough on myself, simply because I don't give her the pleasure of beating up on myself in front of her. I stay in my room a lot behind a closed door and unless you are inside my psyche you can't know how I perceive myself. I spend a lot of time in thought, agonizing, reflecting, looking at different angles as to how I am going to change my life, take it in a different direction, pick the pieces up. No one but I am concerned with myself. But I guess since I hold everyone else up to my same standards I am considered being judgmental. When I don't understand someone’s life decisions and I can't empathize with someone because they had all these tools at their disposal but they choose not to use them I can't feel sorry for them I am then called heartless, cruel, even said to have a black heart. When someone who doesn't have messed up credit has an able body, an able mind, and even a set of employment skills but they won't get a job, they refuse to find employment BUT want everyone to bend over backwards and help them I'm supposed to have symptom for someone like that?

it’s funny how this one person on my twit line told me I should get a part time job I was like well shit why didn’t I think of that (insert extreme sarcasm) I’ve applied for jobs big and small, state, federal, government, even a company I got fired from same parent company different branch. I keep taking test after test, and either getting wait listed, or just plain out refused the job. I’ve applied out of state, in state, big small, part time full time, my resume is constantly in rotation, over flooded on job board sites if someone sends me info about a job then I get on it. I want to work! Yes I applied for seasonal positions, walking the local mall, even going down to la and putting out feelers out there. It’s triple hard when you don’t have transportation, no transportation money, and no way to get money. In my world since I don’t have kids its either get a job or go without.

God it’s so easy for people just to say to me well get a job like I don’t want one, like I haven’t been looking, like I wasn’t looking when I had a part time job, like I wasn’t trying to go back to school, but no money can’t pay fees, can’t buy books, what about financial aid; just pays for my classes still have to come up with the admission fees, and then again there is the transportation issue. I have all of these people who have all of these suggestions but no real help. This other chick on my twit line told me to go apply down in Venice Beach, I don’t live anywhere near Venice Beach, she then suggested I try and be a stewardess, after that point I just sort of tuned her out. I can apply for every job under the sun but:

1. Credit checks: are a major issue, but the fucked up part is if your credit is fucked but you can’t get a job how can you fix it? Someone has yet to explain that too me. On an interview for a job this perky white lady said to me “well if you at least send them something it shows a willingness to fix it.” I just nodded my head because of course when YOU HAVE NO JOB you have no income but maybe I am speaking Turkish. In the same interview the white man said to me well we can’t hire a person in the government with bad credit because it becomes an integrity issue. You become more susceptible to bribery. You are more tempted to steal when your credit is bad.

2. Weight discrimination: my mother, my grandmother, my third cousin all of them have said well your weight is probably keeping you from getting a job also. So fat people don’t have to work? They can just sit at home and just curl up in a ball and die? I know the whole world wants fat people to just go away for feel ashamed or some shit but the majority of the world is fat, fuck get over it. If you want the whole world to be one size then they need to come up with a plan to ban all fast food, develop a pill that makes everyone the same size, and then come up with a pill to make everyone the same color fuck diversity. If we are all the same size, all the same color, then all our problems would be solved and the world would be a much better place right????? Fat discrimination is done subtly but its done everyday I am up against more mountains literally then others but I keep putting in applications I keep applying I keep on keeping on but it’s netting me no results.

All things stem from money you can’t do shit in this lifetime without fucking money. They say you shouldn’t have just one stream of income coming in I have a ZAZZLE store that I sell products from but that is extremely slow money. I might get someone that buys something like every blue moon. I also love arts in crafts but that takes money. I am always trying to figure out something that one great break through for me, that something that will turn my life around. I keep thinking and thinking I don’t know who I should pray too, or what I should do to get there, and please know that I write not for sympathy because I know everyone is going through something I write because I love it and I think its great if someone even reads what I write it would be great if someone happened upon my blog and thought that I wrote well enough to offer me a publishing deal or some sort of job working in the publishing world even if it was getting the damn executives their coffee. I wish a lot of things would happen but wishes don’t come true for people like me because I’m just an ordinary everyday run of the mill type girl and miracles and wishes don’t exist in my world. Read more...

UNTIL YOU DO RIGHT BY US EVERYTHING YOU THINK ABOUT GON' FAIL

MY BROTHER WAS ROBBED! Once again the dickheads at the guitar center can't see the talent that my brother has, once again they have blatantly disregarded my brother like he doesn't live and breathe drumming. Like he didn't KILL everyone who he went up against last night. I don't know what the hell they are grading him on but something is seriously wrong with the judges and this fucking competition. Every year that he has entered it has always been something. Every year they act like my brother who has been playing drums since age two, who has his own set, who played for his high school band all four years, who on Sundays plays drums for church, who can out play any of the drummers he comes against old head drum dudes be in awe of his talent. What the fuck?!?!?! So how can one suck ass competition not see his talent? How can they keep robbing him time and time again? Tony Royster Jr. a young dude who started out like my brother sat there and judged my brother last night and found him not worthy! You serious? The old dude from Blondie sat there and judged my brother and found him not worthy again you serious?

I really thought this year was going to be different but I guess not, I guess I was lulled into a false sense of security I knew he had this on level of the competition on lock and my brother confirmed it when he played and he had to go FIRST! He blew everyone away per usual, he was the only one dressed like a decent young man everyone else came in jeans and t-shirts. He was so gracious when he lost me on the other hand not so much. I was pissed off cursing and I really wanted to knock some of the displays down. My brother even took a picture with the wack ass dude that is Tony Royster Jr. because he is one of the dudes my brother admires. Even when the announced the winner the dude they gave it too was shocked cause he knew he wasn't the best drummer you should have seen his face. This competition, the store, the judges this is solely from the drummers sister but you assholes were wrong and once again you can eat a sick dripping dick! I don't care what band you're from, I don't care who you went on tour with, and I really don't give a shit who your father is, if you can't recognize clear cut talent when you see it then you're worthless and all your talent amounts to nothing.



I even waited to write this post so that my anger would be less sever but nope it's like indigestion burning in my chest this shit is insane I woke up still mad, and still with a sense of unserved justice. I just really don't understand. I don't. I don't get it at all, the only thing I can see them trying to ding him on is when he played a little bit of Rhianna but that was just like .5 seconds just a smidge to show that he had variation in his style. It's not even like he played the whole song. Even if they tried to ding him for that it should have been like 1/2 a point off at least everyone else that went after my brother was weaksauce! WEAKSAUCE.

If you're a musician I can't tell you what you should or shouldn't do but I would boycott the Guitar Center, that's just my opinion but if you hit them in their pockets maybe they would realize that they once again robbed someone who has talent, technique and style. Who's personable also, humble, and gracious even in the face of obvious and blatant denial of talent. I really could see if my brother was some poot butt kid who was just unpolished and just some marginal type drummer. But even on his worst day he could play circles around the other dudes he went up against last night. I hear him play drums, I watch him play his drums he has even volunteered and went back to help the kids in his high school he graduated from last year during the summer. He was drum major for two years of high school I mean for real? He watches drum videos like they are bet uncut videos just drinking in the technique and style of other drummers. He's a great, gracious, and talented kid, who even has a damn hearing disability but that has never ever stopped him from doing what ever he needed to do in life. In fact he doesn't even lean on his disability it's like not even an issue, he hasn't ever tried to collect S.S.I for it, he hasn't ever tried to milk the system none of that. He's just a normal kid who just lives his life and what God left out in hearing he added in talent.

I just don't understand how people could not see my brother and recognize him for the obvious star he is? It's an ugly thing when you truly seek to rob someone of their greatness. It's an ugly thing when you keep telling someone who is great that they are not worthy of some dinky ass shit that's not even like huge. It's an ugly thing when the people who work at the Guitar Center say to me "your brother was robbed! He was the best one up there!" Now if the employees can see that why couldn't the judges? All my brother could say was it just wasn't his time, and that is was okay, he wasn't even mad. I was the one angry I had enough anger for me and him, even a professional drummer who is a friend of the family said that my brother was robbed he was so disturbed by this blatant sham of a contest he didn't know what to do.

I'm still so angry about this it's going to take a long time for me to let this go. I don't care what happens to me or what people say against me because its not that big of a deal, but when you mess with family, then we have a whole other set of issues, and when you can't recognize talent for what it truly is then to me you're dead and buried. You have ceased to exist if ever I need anything music wise I will not be buying it from Guitar Center trust and believe. They have fucked this family over for the last and final time.

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WALE COME PUT YOUR NIKE BOOTS IN MY CLOSET

ONE NAME:WALE (insert swoon here) ever since SINCERE THOUGHTS put me on this D.M.V. artist it has been love ever since. I have been checking for him like a pimp checks his girls on the track and it's not lust it's pure unadulterated infatuation Oh Wale If you goggle yourself I hope this post comes up and we can do the lovebird thing because yea I love you! Plus you actually got something to talk about when you on the mic not just rapping about bling and things I appreciate that and my ears appreciate that! Oh wale (insert another swoon)has made quite a name for himself mostly as a mix tape artist grinding in the D.M.V. area Wale has been on his grind awhile, he's in my vibe magazine every time I open it though promoting LRG also I believe he might have a deal with Nike so go head Wale make that money don't let it make you! Wale was also in the roots video with Chrisette Michelle now he has his own full length honest to goodness video me likey! WALE'S MYSPACE ummmm Wale, since I am putting you on him there is no excuse for listening to anymore wackness.

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