Do men realize when they hear songs about women saying they should cheat or they in love with someone else and they get super angry or aggravated or feel like some how that is indicative of all women's behavior that they are projecting their negative feelings? Like I have had men flare up emotionally over a song and then when I'm like wow you got super angry they go into some triad about how women do this and that and blah blah blah, its like do you realize that all that steams from some issues you have never worked out? Like you are getting angry over a song because you got some emotional scars in you that you never worked out or thought enough about to heal so those songs are like a trigger for you and you don't even realize it smh. It's little shit like that, that people don't sit down and work out within themselves that keeps them from having healthy relationships and you don't even realize it.
If a song can set you off then you got some inner work to do, if you always defensive you got some inner work to do, if you always lashing out because someone does something that you associate with childhood trauma then again you need to sit down and work out those issues. You can't meet new people if you carrying old baggage around and always unpacking it and throwing that new baggage unto new people.You can't start something new with your defenses all up and your guns ready to shoot emotional bullets. This is the first conversation why are you already on 10?
I'm not going to even want to get past your defenses especially not in the first phone call if I keep getting road blocked and we can't have a normal conversation without you feeling some kind of way or always taking my words in the wrong context, or you telling me that I need to speak a different way to you because you are constantly offended by my tone or how I am dealing with you, we aren't going to have another conversation ever. If I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around you then its best we don't talk. If you can't tell that I'm just joking or everything I say you think I'm attacking you we aren't a good match we can't even be friends. I don't want that kind of censorship in my life.
I'm so far from perfect but I shouldn't have to do battle emotionally just to have a conversation with you. I shouldn't have to be weary every time I see your name come up on the caller ID, I shouldn't have to resign myself to being emotionally cut up because you won't deal with past trauma's in your life. Grow the fuck up and do the self work or stay lonely with your embittered crazy ass and lament why you still by yourself after 40+.
I am not in the business of healing people that's not my life's work. I will listen to you to a certain extent but after awhile if all you do is call me crying on my shoulder and you don't have nothing else to talk about I don't want to be bothered there are professionals who get paid for that kind of work. I'm getting nothing out of this it's one sided and its not fair. It's a lot of men walking around wounded and they just want to lay into someone because they haven't fixed themselves they like emotionally diseased individuals you're a carrier of anger, of hurt, and pain and you just want to infect me and make me suffer because misery loves company.
People ask me why I'm single all the time but I don't think they realize the minefield of emotionally stunned, immature, just looking for sex, emotionally unavailable, or just horrible personality, or shallow requirements that guys are dishing out. It doesn't matter the race if it's not a booty request then they just have these unrealistic expectations. No one wants to put in the work of getting to know another person everyone wants to come to the table with these requirements that they don't even fit and expect these great results. I have even tried lowering my standards and that was a total backfire and no-no. They say there is someone for everyone but that saying needs to be updated to there might be someone out there for you but don't bet on it. It's a lot of women that are going to be single whom will never marry some by choice others by circumstances so away goes the dreams of a wedding and children in wedlock and a family with a couple dogs in the yard and that picket fence. That dream has gotten tattered and the landscape of it all has changed. My hat goes off to people who can find each other in this jaded messed up world and manage to hold it together as a couple you all are the exception to the rule so hope it works out for you.