I saw this movie last weekend and I wasn't even going to comment on it because I understand the value of just going to see a movie purely for entertainment purposes, but this movie doesn't rest well with me and I will give a list of reasons why not so here goes. Now I know that this movie is purely fiction and a work of someone imagination and black actors in hollyweird need to stay working by any means necessary, I know that the author of this poop is allowed to have a creative license but this movie is so been there and done that its just recycled spanked down garbage.
My first issue with this movie is that Paula's character is sitting on the edge of the bed and she is striking a bargain with God that if he finds her a decent man she will not share her goodies with no one else but her husband. Okay so lets get a show of hands of how many times you have made the same bargain with God and he certainly hasn't delivered laz Alonzo or any other dreamy marriage material type into your laps yet, yeah that's what I thought. Let me not even start on all the women who aren't passing their cookies out at all and are celibate who have yet to meet their "husbands" or anyone decent to date yet, I digress let us continue.
2nd Issue she almost kills a man with her car....blank stare alright how many of you have almost or did hit a pedestrian and they didn't try and sue your ass or fight you in the streets? How many of you actually knocked the guy down then proceeded to pounce on his and push him to the ground over and over again in his nice suit? Anybody? No I didn't think so either.
3rd thing they have been dating for all of 5 months she gets a promotion to Japan which means she will have to leave, the only part that was fact in the whole movie was that long distance relationships are just not feasible for most you have to be extremely patient and damn near a saint to be someones romantic pen pal so I agree with Laz Alonzo's character on putting the kibosh on the long distance idea. However he ruins it all for me when in the next breath you have El Debarge sitting in the middle of New York across from a theater singing with a piano and a chandelier on top of the piano how much money do these damn buppies make? Don't they have to get some kind of permit for a street performance and I'm sure that cost a pretty penny. So now after just knowing each other for five months you're engaged.
4th thing next thing we know they are planning the actual wedding and the bride has yet to meet the mother of her fiance yet. Blank stare again, so let me get this straight when you fall in love everyone forgets that you are not just marrying a person you are marrying their family as well, that means you inherit in-laws and frankly from someone who has some in-laws I would have preferred it if I had of met these people first and pulled my brother aside and gave him a word of caution not saying that would have helped but damn man really? Marriage is the joining of families until death or divorce parts you. Now if you are one of those new fangled folks who throw off tradition and be like its just me and my honey against the world then cool, I hope you got babysitters lined up, and grandparents, aunts, and cousins substitutes as well because that's what you forfeit when you cut family out of the mix but those with money don't need family until the money is gone right? Shrugs moving on....
5th thing Master P's son little Romeo say what now....you really feeling the cougars like that Romeo? I mean we know you love to take your shirt off and pose with all the little YT girls down at USC or whatever school he's at and we know you probably stay getting it in but fact remains that you will always be little romeo and I just didn't buy you as a bougie upscale negro you didn't come across well on the screen to me and of all people they put your character up against a seasoned actress like Tasha Smith, boy sat down and keep sitting unless you plan on taking some drama lessons you are not getting it, you're just not.
6th thing The cougar lust with the kiss....blank stare again I shouldn't even have to go into it but yea no thank you and shut the front door. Just the fact that Romeo's character was 20 and Tasha's was I'm sure well into her 40's made the kiss scene a little to much to bear It was like watching two homeless old men with no teeth reeking of urine and covered in fecal matter and vomit covered in oozing pusting sores have sexy touchy time on the beach....if that description made you feel gross inside then welcome to my world via that kiss which I actually covered my face for.
7th thing the disrespect and lying Laz Alonzo did to with his momma now I blame him, if he had of had a talk with his mother awhile back and tried to explain to her that he had his big boy pants on now and he no longer need her to be the only woman in his life then he wouldn't have felt like he was being pulled in two directions by the two women that were important in his life, he kept avoiding the matter until it blew up in his face. I blame him for that, yes its hard as hell for a overprotected only son to tell his momma that he can no longer be the center of her world but its something that has to be done eventually or you will always have that Jim Jones and Nancy Jones syndrome going on. If you don't want your little boy to grow up and be a sorry ass mommas boy you are going to have to cut the apron strings eventually. Again harder said then done but the moment a man gets between another woman's legs he needs to sever that clingy mother son relationship.
8th thing all that bougieness, her family owning slaves, all that looking down on people, speaking french over folks heads so they won't know what you talking about is what keeps black folks divided and as long as you have some blacks folks thinking that they are better than others then collectively we will always be fighting each other.
9th When Paula Patton's character found out she wasn't biologically her mother and fathers child, well duh. Come on now if she couldn't figure that out for herself....but ignorance is bliss. I couldn't feel sorry for her because she still grew up rich, she still was having this lavish wedding, she still was educated and still gainfully employed, she still at the end of the day was getting everything she ever wanted, she still had a privileged background nothing changed. Yes it wasn't right how she found out, yes it was a little hurtful but she is a grown woman and you can't unring that bell whats done is done so.....all that falling out and running away and blaming her fiance was so drama I understand they needed something to advance the movie but come on it wasn't that big of a deal.
10th all that what she didn't want at her wedding no electric slide, no jumping the broom really hex? Who goes to a wedding to not enjoy themselves? Again granted it was her wedding and she can have it anyway she wanted it but come on no line dancing even white folks have traditional dancing they do at their weddings whether it be a waltz or a slow dance or a country line dance smh come on man y'all killing me.
All these reasons made me side-eye the damn movie screen the whole time the movie was on and to say the least the movie was more than a little depressing because how is Paula's character going to instantly get her prayers answered when I'm sure other women have been far more faithful and prayed harder then she has and still haven't gotten their prayers answered. This movie was a vapid piece of fluff strictly for the pleasure of showing pretty people on screen. Nothing more and nothing less there wasn't even a message in as far as I could see so if you like sweet with no fill then this movie is for you otherwise if you haven't seen it you're not missing anything wait for it to come out on redbox and save yourself that admission price.
