Thursday, May 13, 2010


Dear Men:(and ladies)

Hey it's me again can we have a mental pow wow? I mean there are some things on my mind that I would really like to share and I'm not attacking ya'll but there are some things that I feel I need to address. So why don't you let me get this off my brain and then if you choose too you can respond and maybe we can get a dialogue going, cool?

So there are a couple things that I am just down right adamant about concerning men, women, and dating and the things that men want that women allow that just needs to stop in general and especially if you call yourself trying to approach me (men this means you of course)

Sending any kind of sexual, half naked, fully naked, sexually suggestive, freak nasty, uncouth, no respect for yourself type of pictures to a phone, email, or home address nor should you get on webcam and do the shit either. This is a rule I strive to live by but obviously not everyone is of the same school of thought. I know that chicken heads are sending their asses through the mail before you even request it and many will send you videos of them doing freak nasty stuff, hell you can find many pictures of chicks on any given Ning site already buck naked with everything exposed so I don't get why you have to purposely seek out the chick who isn't showing her goodies to the world wide web for naked pictures. I am not a loose booty hoe and I get that you see every chick on the web naked so in a males mind it must be a birds of a feather flock together type thing so even if the one fully clothed female on a site is not naked you think you can talk your way into her sending you naked pictures because after all she must have them readily available to send and she just might be shy, right fellas or maybe you think she is a discreet freak and she just needs it coached out of her...

Look word to the wise if a woman wants to exploit herself she will she doesn't need any coaching nor prompting from any guy. So basically asking for hoe flicks is silly because if a chick gets down like that she will just send them to you without you even having to ask 9 times out of 10. I wasn't raised that way plus I respect myself way to much, and on top of that I'm no dummy once you send that kind of shit out there its no telling where it will end up and who will get their hands on it and then what? Rule of thumb ladies if you don't care about it turning up in only God knows who's hands, then by all means do it but when your ass ends up spread eagle on some rappers page or as a "you know you dead wrong" type of site for all of the cyber world and beyond to see then don't go crying and protesting because if you hadn't sent your ass through the mail in the first place you wouldn't have to be worried about being exposed. Bottom line fellas stop asking every woman you meet for her to "tease you with sexy pictures" or "asking her to see her booty" or asking even for "bra and pantie pictures" grow the fuck up and learn some decorum. If you haven't learned from seeing dumb celeb-whore-t's who's sextapes, explicit sexual text messages, and naked pictures have been leaked over and over again in the public spectrum then you're just a dumb ass who wants to and deserves to get shamed and be branded as the nasty type hoe chick who's naked pictures will live forever on the internet.

Asking me anything about sex in the 1st-5th conversation if you can't even pretend like you want to get to know me kick rocks with an open toe shoe on, as Brandy would say. I don't think its hot to immediately jump into a discussion of sex, nor is it hot to bombard me with question like, "when's the last time someone hit that", or "how big are your breast" or "what's your favorite position" its not okay to assume that I want to screw you, its not okay to ask me questions pertaining to what's up under my clothes and it's not okay to disregard common courtesy learn how to pronounce my name, and see if I even want to deal with you on a personal level let alone an intimate one, or you will always lose with me straight out the gate and contrary to what you may think or have been lead to believe big girls are no easier than smaller girls. A slore is  going to be a slore no matter her size so don't assume because a woman has some weight on her she is going to just take her panties off or pull them to the side and let you hit because you showed her some attention. Not every big woman falls into the stereotype of having low self esteem so don't make assumptions fellas.

Another pet peeve of mines is wack ass phone sex, please let me be clear I hate HATE phone sex its so dumb, look fellas again as a rule personally my girl 6 days are over (chalk that one up to youth). Plain and simple the shit is just wack and if the sexual need is all that then you need to find a way to make the sex jump off in real time. There is nothing sexy about hearing a grown ass man yanking, tugging, and wacking his dick talking about "yea baby" "ummmm baby you want me to cum for you, tell me how much you want me to cum for you" and then your big goofy ass cums sounding like a little bitch I mean damn you don't even have any bass in your voice, again grow up and shit. It's not sexy to me to hear a grown man moaning and groaning while he's by himself touching on himself if anything its kind of ridiculous. Now there is a way to go about everything, if you want to spice things up then be sensual send her sexy not vulgar text messages for example: Baby I can't wait to see you tonight I have a sexy surprise in store for my one and only <<<(sexy and intriguing); Girl I want to lick your pussy until your peach squirts cum flavored juices all down my throat. <<<(vulgar and childish) Now look fellas I can't speak for every woman in the world I can only tell you what works and what doesn't work for me some broads like vulgar because that's all they know. Some broads will settle for a 6pack of beer and some beer nuts and she will gladly give up the ass and then their are other females like myself who are not going for any of that not at all. Also there is an exception to every rule sometimes its cool to slip a vulgar text message in but only if you are on a certain level with who you're sending it to some people will get offended so know your audience basically.

I'm a woman and as a woman I enjoy doing feminine things, getting my hair done, getting my nails done, shopping for cute outfits, buying make-up and wearing make-up, nurturing babies, taking care of family, providing a warm home environment, cooking, etc. These are some of the things I do because its in my nature and I don't see anything wrong with doing these things because I like to do them but this is not all I am this is just one side of me. I know I might come off as hard but at the end of the day I am still a woman with a soft side. I don't get to show that side because frankly fellas you don't earn it. You want me to be a woman and do certain things for you but you not even doing the bare minimum to earn these things.I refuse to play wifey for someone that is not legally my husband if you want to be treated like a husband I suggest you carry your ass over to Robbins Brothers and make that happen. Yes I know women are independent, they can work and maintain households and all that jazz I'm so well aware of that fact but I believe in the strive for independence the roles of men and women have been so muddied along the way until we are just all messed up and we don't know how to treat each other properly anymore. The male and female rules are all screwed up resulting in this flagrant mockery of what dating is passing for these days.

 There used to be a time when men opened doors both building and car doors, there used to be a time when men came to a woman's house and actually walked up to the door and rang the doorbell and escorted the woman to his car versus calling her on the cellphone and telling her he here so she can run out to the car, or blowing his car horn like a moron, he would proceed to open the car door for her help her get inside and made sure she was in and comfortable before he went around to his side and got settled in. There was a time when men actually dated you, they were actually interested in getting to know you, showed an interest in you and what you felt or at least they convincingly faked genuine interest long enough to hook a woman, called you just to hear your voice, sent you flowers or some token of admiration and appreciation, came to the door with something in his hand more than his hat. Met your family and looked your father/brother/uncle in the eye and had conversations about his intentions, Men were more respectful and in kind women were soft and womanly able to be a little vulnerable and sweet and women were more respectable and demure. In other words there were rituals, rules, stages, one went through before there was even a hint of intimacy jumping off. There was courtship going on, there was romance, and mystery, passion, a sweetness, now its all garbage. I realize for many they didn't have an example of how to treat a woman growing up and they learned it piece-meal from women or random men or it was all trial and error. Plus modern society dictates that all the things I just typed out are not what's hot in the streets. Expecting this type of behavior from a man this day and age will have you single and out of luck and its a pity and a shame. Now men don't even bother to do the basics the bare minimum. When you're with a woman that you care about you are supposed to take care of her, this fellas is your job. This is the reason you gave up a rib, this is the reason you have the outtie and we have the innie. You are supposed to love, protect, honor and shield us. There is a reason you have bigger everything, broader shoulders, deeper voices, bigger hands, more strength etc you are supposed to be our protectors and we are supposed to be your helpmates. I realize that between the sexes it hasn't always been roses but since I've been living I have watched it get progressively worst. I know I am shouting at the wind but damn fellas you don't even play the game anymore there is no mystery, you make me not even want to try. Yes I know you don't do a lot of things simply because the "modern woman" will treat you like a chump for doing it but I am a bit old fashioned and I like being paid attention I like someone who pays attention to details and I like a man who knows what it means to be a man a real one not a facsimile of one.

In essence fellas I have standards and rules, rules that I am not willing to break. They aren't hard rules but they do separate the serious from the just came here to play. I am not difficult I am just not willing to let you play with me like I am an object to be toyed with. I have certain standards and expectations that I need met from any man who thinks he wants to toss his hat into the ring for my time and affection. The problem fellas is not my rules its because you're not use to dealing with a woman who isn't going for the crap that you pull. If you want quality and substance you have to be willing to give as good as you get. No one wants to do that because it's far easier to get with the chick that will let you do any and everything and not call you on it. You've become lax and have lost the will to date the right way. Its like always dining on microwaved tv dinners when all you want is a good home cooked meal stop cheating yourselves. Everyone male and female needs to readjust their thinking women as a whole need to set standards if every woman set standards then men would have no choice but to deal with it or procreation would grind to a halt as we know it and I don't think anyone wants that! We need some new ground with dating, a fresh start with how men and women especially black men and women relate to each other, and overall dating needs a face lift ASAP! I know this post was long winded but it was a long time coming but I hope it will give someone pause for the cause or at least open up a dialog between men and women hopefully.

Some Books to check out if you wish: