NUNS, WHORES, GOODGIRLS, THE REALITY AMONGST US

I love the blogging world it gives a voice where otherwise you wouldn't have one. It allows for an exchange of ideas in a neutral form you can't get any better than that!

On this blog CELIES REVENGE a blogger that calls herself a radical feminist talks about how superhead is a victim of circumstances and how abuse led her to the life she has come to lead it's a good read even if you don't subscribe to the same way of thinking. I know that I don't agree with seeing superhead per say as a victim. While I do agree that she has lead a tragic and sad life I don't think that she is someone who needs pity. I believe that she needs counseling, and maybe even some spiritual guidance. If Frankie (keyshia Coles) momma can overcome being a prostitute, and a drug addict, and having seven children by different men then why can't superhead change her tone and become a victim advocate or victim awareness life coach or something, hell I don't even care if she makes up a title. I don't see her trying to change anything as far as helping other woman that have fallen victim to the same things in life. I don't see her going to schools, or to youth crisis centers helping out young girls. I don't see any of that what I do see is a woman who has capitalized on sleeping with different men in the industry, and being a media whore still hungering for a level or celebrity that she just won't be able to reach. Can you imagine what a boardroom meeting with her is like? I am not condemning her even though I have in the past I can't identify with her and I can't get behind her movement.

Now in no way shape or form am I defending the men that indulged in screwing her, but when you begin to call yourself something and perpetrate that image and embrace it you lose the voice to say I am a victim. Because a whore's nature is a whore's nature. Meaning anyone can be a whore, being a whore is not gender bias people make the distinction. While men get the accolades for sleeping around the stigma of whore will always rest on a woman's shoulders when we do it. James Brown said it's a mans world and that was said in the 1960's and it still holds true today. The funny thing is that the woman who have had excessive sexual partners, released sex tapes, capitalized on being flat-backers are the women that are being most sought after in this day and time. No longer is it the "good girls" per say. The irony is she would be considered a grotesque trophy wife of sorts, a "I conquered her enough after all the sex she has had type of mentality to get her to marry me" and it would be a man of means not some regular dude. Men love women who are experienced and that are sexually aggressive and being a woman who doesn't necessarily subscribed to that kind of image of being fast and loose with my sex it's a lose lose situation for me.



I lose because I am not a video vixen/(victim?) I have a father so I don't seek one out I don't choose to do explicitly sexual things for male attention because I feel I don't have too. Why do I need to put myself out there with that type of sexual image when I am so much more than my breast and ass! While I may have made plenty sexual missteps in my youth by the grace of God there wasn't any permanent damage done but I can't fault anyone for the choices I made sexually. Even the misguided choice I made were my own and they bought me a greater understanding of myself sexually and what I will and won't accept. I tell my sisters global and blood please don't throw pearls before swine because they don't appreciate them. Just because it is acceptable to bed hop in this current day and age does not mean you shouldn't subscribe to that mentality. When you lay down with men who are just there for pure sexual gratification and they don't give a shit about you're well being, your person as a whole, nor do they love you in any sense of the word, you are just giving away a piece of you each time that can not be regained.

I like to think I straddle the lines of traditionalist, feminist, and yes even "whore" but the difference is I balance the percentage carefully and always in my favor. Its like cooking I know what ingredients to add to what and when to make it taste just right. I don't march around with a banner stating what I am, but its my actions and demeanor that tell you. Ultimately I believe that we are responsible for our images, I work very hard to keep mines intact. I work hard to make sure that when someone looks over my footprints the ones I leave behind me that they won't be marred by things that I am deeply ashamed of. That is my personal choice, I understand that fucked up people do fucked up things (pardon my language) but when do you make the choice to change and say you know what...what is motivating my actions to cause me to act like this? At some point in your life you reach a point of clarity where you come to some sort of realization about self. I know I did, doesn't everyone have that moment? I believe it hits you in your twenties and whatever triggers it be grateful for it, that is your life moment of clarity. You will have many and they happen for a reason, its when you DON'T have them that it is then cause for alarm!



Just my two little cents in the wide ocean that is the blogsphere make sure you check out my sisters thoughts on the matter at THE UNDERDOG LIFE Read more...

GETTING READY TO POSSIBLY SING MY SWAN SONG

As I was reading my sisters blog who just started blogging it occurred to me that her followship is one off from mines, yep I'm going there while I am happy for my sister I'm sad for myself! I've been blogging since what 2006 and my readership still is low like a strippers skirt, what's up with that? Can you not relate to me? Am I not friendly, personable, at the very least don't I illicit a laugh with some of the things I have been through in my checkered past? I mean come on now not saying that my sister doesn't write a great blog but damn she is new to the game and already her readership is the same as mine and she just barely started. That shit right there is enough to make me say fuck it I'm not writing a blog anymore because no one even reads this shit.

So what's the point? I know there are trillions of people all over the world who write blogs and there is not enough time in the day for every blog to be read but this is just downright disheartening I know I have a tendency to whip out my soapbox but I do it because I care. I have a tendency to be all hail fire and brimstone and just big sisterish but that's the role I was given what can I do? I don't know how to change my stripes and I wouldn't want to even if I could I like me, you might not but I do!

So what say you good people is my journey blogging here over, should I throw in the towel and just find another creative outlet because obviously y'all ain't giving a damn. Maybe my time has come to an end and I possibly should say goodbye but this time for real. If no one is reading it then its just a tree in the woods that fell with no one there to hear it fall. Either way it goes someone tell me something... I can take the truth lay it on me, please and thank you. Read more...

YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES FOR 01/09/09

I keep seeing this trailer and it's like the more you see something the more you want to hope on the bandwagon about it. I happen to like TD Jake's though. He delivers a powerful word and his books are full of sense so in that regards a little bandwagon-ing is all good. The only problem is another movie is coming out on the same day but is a horror flick and we all know how I feel about my horror flicks. I want to support church folks but I need my horror flick, so which is it ladies and gents is it going to be God or the devil???? FAIR WARNING THE MOVIE TRAILER FOR THE UNBORN PLAYS AUTOMATICALLY SO IF YOU SCARE EASILY I SUGGEST YOU HIT THE MUTE BUTTON QUICK FAST AND IN A HURRY!

Read more...

FUCK LOVE AND EMO/TIONS!

After feeling as if I was really losing my mind these past couple of days I really had to take stock within myself and conclude I probably am better left single. What I thought was something special turned out once again to be my imagination putting in overtime. I am the best at fooling myself when it comes to guys. See I have this thing where if they are talking about what they want in terms of relationships, kids, marriage, and its similar to what I desire instantly I'm trying on their last names and seeing stars and shit and then when it all falls through I'm devastated for like a day and then I keep it pushing. I'm just so tired of the whole experience. The whole feeling like I found something special only to realize its just common and everyone is peddling the same shit on every street corner. I realize I did it to myself someone who refuses to make me a priority but always a fucking option AT THEIR LEISURE is so not a good look so that's it 2009 has officially started on a flat note for me but I won't ever do that to myself again!

I guess I am guilty of still believing in fairy tales and at my age huh, sad I know. I should just learn that the fairy tale shit is strictly for the folks at Disney not a grown ass woman. They don't make fairy tales for grown ass black women they make movies like waiting to exhale for us. I really was trying to believe in love, black love, families, unity, community, all that but you know what black men I'M DONE! You have made this sista a believer fuck it, YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT US, YOU DON'T CHERISH US, YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN US, YOU DON'T WANT US, YOU DON'T SEE US,AND YOU CERTAINLY DON'T LOVE US. But who you do see as worthy of love is not a reflection of you not at all and if that is what you want then have at it. I am putting my black love flag down in the dirt and officially walking away from it. So if you see another love post from me, feel free to slap me in my comment section and remind me that love doesn't love ANYBODY!


MyHotComments


All theses dudes talking but ain't nothing happening but sound, clue for the clueless if you want someone in your life you have to actually make an effort not this half effort type shit you dudes are doing these days! Long distance Relationships = pen pal, just talking to someone on messenger = pen pal, not actually making some kind of grown ass man effort to make it real in real time = fuckery on your part and its 2009 who the hell is still falling for this type shit? It was cute in 1998 but ummm yeah time to move on to new shit literally! So if you not making me a priority, not actually putting in an effort to be present in the flesh, WE HAVE NOTHING WHAT SO EVER TO TALK ABOUT! But when you tell someone that then you become the asshole or bitch because you refuse to feed into a delusional fantasy, this is what has put the nail in the coffin of love for me I'm good fellas you have officially made a believe out of the 78 Ms J, so Congrats! Let's pop champagne cause love is officially done.


MyHotComments


Read more...

A BPYTS HAPPILY EVER AFTER CHAPTER

So many times I thought I caught a glimpse of you as I chatted, had random conversations, wasted time with random dudes that had crossed my path but elusive like sand through my fingers you are. I always think I see a glimpse of you then...it happens true colors are shown and then it's over. Sometimes it takes a couple conversations sometimes it only takes one. The end result are usually always the same.



I have an idea but it's an abstract one...I try to keep the parameters loose so that I don't crush the depth of you but at the same time have some kind of construct as just to what kind of person you are. I'm not seeking perfection I wouldn't want anyone too perfect, perfect is too hard to live up to and with. I just want a normal, quirky, funny, handsome, strong, sweet, respectful, easy to laugh, slow to anger, gentle but strong, intelligently nerdy, tallish guy with his head on straight who doesn't have all this baggage and emotional wounds. Who will be going in the same direction in life that I am seeking to go in who is just an easy going sort of fellow who wants to walk down that path of love and be in love with no qualms or limitations. Who will not mind my ways and might even think that some of the things I do are cute, funny, interesting, and we will make merry wherever we are. He will be my perfectly imperfect superhuman and I will be his perfectly imperfect cheering section.



Who will know how to cheer me up when the world becomes to much, who will listen and offer helpful solutions not just random shit that doesn't make sense. He won't hurry me to cheer up because it's inconvenient for him but he will let me be without thinking it is a reflection on anything he has done. In other words he will give me space to get back on track and be there when I am better and I in turn will willingly do the same for him. Giving him space when needed and strength or a shoulder or even a whole back to lean on when he needs it. We will be the best of friends and have respect for each other as individuals. We would communicate like the best of friends...and he would say to me such sweet things like

I want to become intoxicated by your presence

as well as

I just want to adore and engage into the scent of you.

and he would be blessed to have the gift of prose and would bless me with beautiful heartfelt sentiments because he wanted to such as

You are the epitome of what's meant for me. The total package, when are you going to be sent to me? Because WE know I'll resent to see you go in the wrong direction, I'll live on sympathy...

causing me to melt a thousand times in a thousand different ways ...and I would allow myself to surrender to my feelings and not over think it or even question it... even if it's just for the moment...and fantasy never becomes a reality...I would still live off the dreams of you and hug them tight like my pillow at night and cherish what could have been and use it as a measuring stick for all those that dare come after...but honestly, truthfully, I hope to God YOU'RE the last chapter...before the happily ever after...BUT THEN SHE REALIZED EMOTIONS AND LOVE WAS BEST LEFT FOR THE FOOLISH AND SENSELESS! FUCK FAIRY TALES FROM NOW ON ITS STRICTLY HORROR FILMS!

Read more...