NOW THAT IT'S OVER...

BROKEN HEART BY FABU

Now that you've called it quits and you begin your mourning process what are some of the things you use to get over that initial moving on phase? The longer the relationship, the more emotion invested the longer the grieving of the death of said relationship. I know for me the older I get the harder it is to bounce right back and it takes longer as well. That's why I hate investing in something and not having it work out its like damn another mishap added to the long list of shit that didn't pan out after awhile you begin to feel like man repellent. It's gotta make you feel some kind of way and your self esteem might even take a dip until you bounce back but that's neither here nor there. The most important things to remember during this break up process is not to let them see you crumbling, broken, and bruised.

Yes in this case you will have to fake it until you make it. Take extra care to look your best, if you can afford it treat yourself to getting your hair done, get your nails and feet done, smile, go some where beautiful, do something for self during this ugly messy emotional process. Take all that negative energy all that anger or even sorrow and use it to your benefit. Turn it into something positive rent some of your favorite comedies and laugh your ass off until your stomach hurts. Go dancing, flirt with a guy/girl you have no interest in but keep it light last thing you want to do is lead anyone on and hurt someones feelings in the process. I don't advise jumping into another relationship right away give yourself time to heal and grieve. I also don't advocate hashing all the shit over with your girlfriends that will make the grieving process much longer and who wants that.

If you don't have kids, or something to love on think about getting a pet, a plant, borrow a niece or nephew, volunteer at a homeless shelter, do something for someone else it will get you out of the house take the focus off yourself and help you feel a little better about yourself especially if you volunteer some where you will do good and feel good its a win win situation. Last but not least remember make it a clean break, don't make it messier than it has to be I know this is easier said then done especially when children are involved but no one likes drama and the less mess that your children are subjected to the better. Be classy, be elegant and walk away with a strong back, head held high, and your dignity intact that will kill them and what a mental picture to stamp in someones mind. I know all of this sounds good and it might be easier said then done in the end because everyones situations is different but like usual take what you need disregard what doesn't work for you and of course if you are in a abusive situation you should run far, hard and fast, get to safety and never look back love isn't worth dying for. Read more...

IT'S TIME TO BIZ-OUNCE

Now that the overly sappy pushed down your throat day of valentine's is over many people who might have said yes to things they shouldn't have or stayed with someone they really wanted to break up with can finally come to their sense and go ahead and make that a reality. I know sometimes we get swept up in the urgency of a situation and before we know it we are like how the heck this happen and how can I quickly undo it and you just might be staring down the barrel of emotional buyers remorse. If you think you might want to return a title to sender because its not working now and you don't see it getting any better in the future its time to break. So here are some videos to help you get in the right mind set to break up, break out, walk out, or plain just leave like a thief in the night.

10. Mariah Carey- Up out my face remix


9.Sunshine Anderson-Something I want to give you


8.Ashanti-The way that I love you


7.Ne-yo-Go on girl


6.Mila J-Good Looking out



5.702-Gotta Leave


4.Mary J blige-Enough Cryin


3.Syleena Johnson-Guess What


2.Vivian Green-Gotta go Gotta leave


1.Keyshia Cole-Let it go


Honorable Mentions:

Carrie Underwood-Before he cheats


Jazmine Sullivan-Bust your windows


Uncle Sam-I don't ever want TO see you again


Usher-Let it burn


Tyrese-How you gonna Act like that


Toni Braxton-Yesterday


Olivia-Biz-ounce


Jennifer Lopez-All I have
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DEAR TYRONE, TO THE BLACK MEN OF THE WORLD

Let me preface this letter by saying I am quite aware that not all of you are named Tyrone just like every white man's name is not John but since this is in fact a Dear John letter but addressed to ALL the black men in the world then I felt I had to go with something you all were familiar with you got a problem with it see management now onto the letter.

Dear Tyrone:



I was the last woman standing I was on your side I was that ride or die chick that you all claimed you wanted. I still supported you even when so many have turned your back on your own race and had nothing but complete and utter disdain for a black woman. I was still holding you down when you talked bad about black women and disrespected us called us out our names. Exploited us in your videos and etc. I thought that you would get right once you saw that Obama had a strong black woman by his side but nope you continue to act like donkeys. I have tried to walk on eggshells with you all and then I have tried tough love I have tried every angle I know but it is never enough for you. You continue to push me away and tell me I am not worthy of your attention, protection, nor affection. I am tired I was holding up that blood stained banner but now I have let it fall out of my weary and worn hand. I can no longer ignore the things that you say and do.

I have been continuously pushed aside, ignored, or when you talk with me you either lie, flip out for no reason, have severe physiologically issues, you got way to many baby-mommas child support coming out your check, no car, you live with your momma, A couple of you have even told me directly that white women, Hispanic women, are better for the black men and that you are tired of black women because black women don't support your tired asses and we have to much lip. I am tired of meeting black men who don't know what it means to be a black man because no one ever showed your asses. I'm tired of being talked to any old kind of way because some woman before me did a number on you, like you own the market on being emotionally wounded. I'm tired of your smug slut asses telling me I'm not girlfriend material because I won't get on camera and show you my ass and titties, or neither will I have phone sex with you, or even cyber sex. Who's still doing that in this day and age with just random people grow the fuck up and enjoy the real thing. I don't need a poor facsimile of the real thing that does nothing for me at all why do we have to talk sex into the ground discuss it once and then proceed to do the damn thing if not keep it moving. You don't know how to be direct unless you're being an asshole, you don't know how to be truthful, you try and manipulate and lie your way into someones panties. You tell me I am too hard, what the fuck does that mean? Shall I just take whatever you give me and enjoy it. Shall I just let you tell me any old thing and take it at face value. No one ever takes the time to stick it out because its to easy to just find another chick who will let you do and just say anything to her and she will eat that shit up with a spoon. I'm not a steel wall and I am not putty either you want everything to easy no one wants to work for anything anymore.



Because black women don't lay down and worship the ground you walk on, because we don't let you do any and every low down nasty trifling sexual act your perverted mind can come up with by watching white fetish porn, because we don't stop our lives and put yours and everything you're about first, because we aren't doormats that lay down for you to walk all over us, because we have the nerve to demand excellence and have standards. Because we call you out when you disrespect us and hold you accountable for your actions. I'm tired, I'm tired of y'all bitter, silly, trifling asses, I'm tired of all YOUR baggage, I'm tired of all the bullshit that you bring. I'm tired of trying to win you over and your approval, I'm tired of standing on my head and trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I'm tired of always seeing the ones who have accomplished something quickly running to a white woman because you refuse to deal with a black woman calling her evil and ornery. I'm especially tired of the shiftless coon ass niggers that get money and then proceed to get an Asian, Hispanic, or white woman because you hate yourself and the very skin that you're in so therefore you find a woman who doesn't reflect you, but that woman you treat with the utmost respect and admiration while shunning and ignoring black women. That's fine some of you all aren't really black anyway you're just white men wrapped in a dark shell, they do have lightening creams for that and with enough money you can become Michale Jackson's new color and even have white children complete with the blond hair and blue eyes modern technology is your friend!

It's not enough that black women have given birth to your asses, its not enough that black women have always supported you even though since we been in this country you have stood by and let other men of different races violate and disrespect us for sport the sick twisted part is some where along the line you joined in and begin to see us as less then. You the men who sprung forth from a black womb begin to think less of a black woman then the rest of the world and now there is no unity in the communities, there are next to no two parent households left. It's just straight bullshit in dating. So yes here is one more bitter black woman you can add to your rolls. I'm handing in my black men lover button, and taking my name off the fan club. I quit you black men and unless a severe miracle happens to change my heart, mind and opinion of you I'm forever gone. You won't even notice because I'm invisible to you so fuck it this is for me to vent and clear my head and it will be a reminder whenever I begin to weaver in my resolve.

I don't need you anymore black men, you are now dead to me ghost in the streets, the hallways and anywhere else you dwell.



Sincerely,
ME.

Chante Moore - Bitter

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CAUTION AHEAD; HEED THE RED FLAGS

Ya know the dating in southern Cali post I write are really meant to help women not fall for the new dumb that is currently masking itself as what's hot in the streets. Ladies I always say please don't throw your pearls before swine. Just because you are getting older, or may be lonely, or want children its just really no reason to settle for the bullshit that is dating these days. It needs to stop if no one has standards we all suffer. IF more women said hell no that is not acceptable to me and I'm not going to deal with your trifling ass then these men would have to either get it together or be by their damn selves. But because women outnumber men and because it's some silly bitches* out here just taking any ole bullshit we all have to suffer. Now with that said I want to talk about one particular kind of man that I don't believe I have ever had to touch on until now. This particular man is the most dangerous kind and if you ever encounter him you should run fast and hard in the opposite direction save your life and anyone else's life that is even remotely interested in him.

This particular man is called the "I AIN'T GETTING TESTED, BECAUSE I'M CLEAN TAKE MY WORD FOR IT MAN!"



First and foremost let's go with a man that I casually ran across on blackplanet, now before you start up with see you shouldn't be on there looking for men, please believe me when I say I am not on blackplanet looking for men. Blackplanet is a breeding ground for the worst common denominator there is. Majority of the men on there are warped and damaged in some way, shape, or form and it manifest in their lives the minute you even hold a conversation with them. It didn't used to be so bad when bp first came about but now (shudders) its all bad, and that is sad because I'm sure blackplanet didn't start out as the booty spot. I truly think it was made for people to network in a positive way not in a can we meet and FUCK have relations type spot.

Anyways on with the story I like browsing websites it gives you insight into a persons personality, it shows their creative side, I discover different music artist, hear different songs, matter of fact if it wasn't for a blackplanet page I wouldn't have discovered that JANELLE MONAE is the business and my kind of artist times 1000 she has a distinctive sound and she is actually talking about something in her songs I am and will always be a lyrics type person. More on her later, anywho so on my many random looking at peoples pages on blackplanet I came across this particular dudes page I read his little personal message and he SEEMED sane I though hmmm maybe just maybe this person might be valuable possibly have some knowledge hell he might know someone that I might need to meet, you never know anyway so I sent him a friends request wasn't expecting any kind of big to-do about it. People send friends request all the time to get their numbers up or to promote their products, so I figure why not me as well. At the end of the day Blackplanet is still a networking site, so dude sends me back a message like:

CALL ME XXX-XXX-XXXX- IF YOU INTERESTED.

So I read the note and I'm like what? Simple note but color me confused so I was like ummm alright took me a whole day to process it. Matter of fact I sent him a note back like, Interested in what? Plus he didn't even leave a name, so after much deliberation I called the number left a very brief message he called me back today early in the morning 7:15am to be exact. Since I had to get up anyway I took the call, everything is cool he sounds relatively sane which surprises me because blackplanet men = damaged goods, and then the other shoe dropped. We hit the rocky shores of the inevitable S.E.X. discussion.

Okay now here is where it starts to get crazy as hell, we're talking I share with him that I haven't been breaking off cookie for a minute a good long minute, to which he replies you must have coochie cobwebs....I'm like whatever dude, so we talking more he shares how long he has been abstaining, we talk more I then say that in order for me to feel comfortable engaging with a dude in a sexual manner I would suggest that both of us get tested together. Dude flips out going on and on about me trying to control a relationship, and blah blah blah, yada-yada-yada. He just fired up and from that point on since I spoke on testing he's jumping down my throat like a sky diver. I really can't get a word in edgewise he pressing me for answers like I'm on trial. While all this is going on I'm stunned into silence like I've been stung by a sting ray. He then says that's like asking a guy to prove themselves without me proving myself, and he did all his proving in college and that he shouldn't have to prove himself, and I should be able to take him on his word. I just listened all the time in my mind thinking I'm going to hang up on this mofo soon because by this time I'm pissed off and I could be sleeping or washing clothes hell even watching my toe nails grow, finally this loony fucker says ya know what we should just end this conversation and that's all I needed to hear him say I'm sure he was saying something else but I pressed my end button and mentally unwound and then went to sleep.

Anytime you get a man that vehemently opposed to taking an AIDS test even casually brought up in the first conversation and he flips out about it, that is a RED FLAG run like hell. Block that mofo, erase him from your mind he's dangerous he's got something he's hiding if he has to do all that protesting acting as if he is Dracula and you asked to kiss him with garlic on your breath. RUN. LIKE. HELL.




*Just like there are simple men there are simple women and some of y'all are simply simple bitches hence the term simple bitches! Read more...

THE RULES OF INTERACTION FOR BD/BM'S & THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS

This Sunday a ninja broke the cardinal rules of interaction pertaining to baby daddy/momma family boundaries and the likes. Causing me to go ahead and write up the rules of interaction so that it shall forever be broken down to you ninja's and so you can't walk around claiming you don't know the etiquette for being a BM/BD especially if you are not on good terms with your BM/BD. This post may be offensive to the legions of BD/BM's out there but hey it is what it is take it up with management, which is me. Now on to the post:


1. Thou shalt not EVER send a note to the family member of your estranged BM OR BD, even if you are on speaking terms and shit. It's just not cool it causes to much confusion and can lead to he-say she-say.

2. If said sibling of BM/BD does not like your ass then please please please don't even try to get to the bottom of why said sibling doesn't like your ass just accept that shit and keep it moving.

3. Please don't mean mug family members, attempt to fight them, call them out their names, go to their place of business, call their jobs, or any of that loosey goosey shit because that then justifies an immediate ass whooping maybe even a shit- shanking.

4. If you see a BD/BM family member in the streets and they don't speak, and if they don't glance your way please don't chase them down and attempt to make conversation, that will cause a scene and some pepper spray action to go down, or you might even get drug behind their car or ran over.

5. By all means please feel free to block, ignore, even move to another state if you and the family of the BD/BM do not get along it probably would be better for you in the long run.

6. If you care way to much what a BM/BD's family member has to say, think, or feel about you then you probably should leap off a tall building, or immediately seek some counseling for your situation.

7. realize that blood will ALWAYS be thicker than water. You should tread lightly where family is concerned especially if you and the BM/BD aren't together anymore, things just aren't going to go in your favor. It's the laws of nature accept it and you will be better off.

8. Don't attempt to use emotional blackmail concerning the child this will only cause bitterness and anger and might even get you stomped out.

9. Don't show up at any type of family function even when invited because most likely someone there hates your ass and you might get stomped out by the hood cousins (don't act like you don't have none) and it will just be all bad.

10. Do not, DO NOT (had to emphasize that point) run to the mother of the BD/BM to try and get them on your side this will cause again hatred and bitterness towards that ass and might even result in property damage in extreme cases.

In conclusion folks if you are a BM/BD or have one in your family please explain the rules of engagement to these folks. It's getting out of hand, you should know your place and you should be content within yourself knowing that through your actions you chose that position so play your part. It's no use being bitter or a hater especially if you knew from jump that the person you were laying down with wasn't shit especially if you knew it was just a beat and skeet type situation. Of course there are exceptions to every rule but when ever you're having sex you must always prepare yourself for the possibility that you could get knocked up or knock someone up that is just a given!

I have no sympathy for anyone who is a consenting adult who lays down on their back with their legs in the air we all know how babies are made, an "accident" can't happen if you aren't on your P's and Q's especially when engaging in sex. It's way to many options/avenues to stop from getting pregnant way to many in this day in age. So please if you are a BM/BD don't try and branch out and find a new avenue of interaction this is what it is and how it will be until folks cut out the BD/BM fuckery and get back into actually having families.

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LISTEN CHUMPS I'M FED UP

Dear Random ass men and men that have been on my yahoo messenger and Aim for years:



I felt I should address you all here because it just suited the purpose and I can give you the post link so that you can read it and absorb it better. Look this is going to be a brand new year and if you have been claiming to hold a torch for me, talking about being in a relationship and then disappearing and popping up when its convenient for you, wanting to have sex with me, telling me I'm the woman of your dreams and all that other bullshit, save it! I'm over it and you should be too, you have had countless years, and many chances and you have not made it happen your fault! I refuse to enter another year with the same dead dicks on my messengers talking the same bullshit it frustrates me and irritates the hell out of me causing me to release my inner bitch recklessly and curse you out accordingly. If you get this post in your messenger box that means you have been kicked off the might-ever-get-a-chance-to-be-put-on-my-team because you talked nothing but shit and didn't even make half an effort to come and scoop me. Furthermore don't act like this is out of the blue and from left field, I don't want to hear another word linking me and you in any kind of relationship/sexual type setting it is officially a dead issue! You are officially lame and at this point you should seek other options or hell just keep it moving either way it's been real but not real fun! If you take this into your psyche and file it accordingly and from this point on change your ways I would appreciate that, if you continue to talk reckless about how you want to beat it up and all the things you wish you could do to my body and anything else but we both know you won't ever back it up you will be ignored and I will forget you were ever even born, so with that said adjust yourself accordingly. Thank you and enjoy your holidays!

Chante MooreBitter

Music Video Codes By Music Jesus.com

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