Monday, March 07, 2011

WHEN WILL THE ANDROID BOYFRIENDS BE AVAILABLE?



Am I the only person who sometimes stops and reflects on how hard it is just to find someone decent that you can clique with in this day and age? I don't think women get enough credit, I feel like there is this giant check-list that men are checking off when it comes to dealing with women these days. She gotta be "independent" she need to have a booty like Buffy the body, or Vida Guerra, and she gotta look like Beyonce or Alicia Keys or your average ambiguous looking chick and then she gotta be able to suck a mean dick like superhead, and be able to take backshots like Pinky I mean really and she gotta be able to at the very least cook some hamburger helper right? We won't even talk about all the knock off Barbie wanna be's walking around looking like a mash-up between a ratchet Barbie and a seed of chucky lovechild doll.

Whenever a guy sees my "don't approach me if you have any of these check-list" on any given social site I always get the "why you don't like (fill in the blank)" or the "Damn baby why you so mean" Or my favorite "Everybody makes mistakes, just because someone went to jail doesn't mean they are a bad person" no it makes you a dumb one because if you were a smart criminal you wouldn't have gotten caught in the first place so really you have already struck out with me just on that alone so just keep it moving son there is no need for the animosity just go away. Listen contrary to popular belief I don't believe that every black male in america has been in trouble with the law. Some guys actually prefer to keep their nose clean and stay out of trouble so why is it wrong for me to want to solely just deal with that faction of the man population? I don't find anything appealing about hood swagger for lack of a better term, I actually find it funny and sad when a guy past the age of 15 is still claiming any type of hood or you got your gang colors on but peep this homie you don't own ANYTHING, you don't even pay rent so how can you claim ownership over a whole block, a hood, or a even a color. That's the most ignorant thing in life to ever want to waste your life on and if you are still a gang member after the age of 20 you are a lost cause plain and simple. Prime example if you are a rapper and you became a gang member because you thought it would be hot to have stars tattooed on your head, and hollar out swoop gang every time you spit a rhyme you fail at life in more ways then one and if you look to these type of people as your role models then you also fail at life.

I have never liked the hood life even when I was in the hood I didn't like the foul shit that went on and I worried constantly about my brothers thank goodness for moving to the burbs without the change of venue life would have been totally different for my brothers so it was a gift and a curse to move out here but I digress. Dope boys aren't appealing, gangsters aren't appealing, crooks aren't appealing, thugs aren't appealing. You know what appeals to me, intelligence, a guy that likes to read or he likes to write, paint, sculpt, he likes to create not destroy. He might wear glasses, he wears button ups and jeans that fit not too baggy and not too tight but just right. He wears grown man shoes, he owns a watch. He's responsible, he's well mannered he knows how to be firm and tell the truth even if its not what you want to hear. He is eclectic in his music taste, he's ambitious, and his mind is always working even when he sleeps. He has a great smile, he takes care of his teeth, he stays clean cut and his cologne does not have to mingle with the smell of cigarettes, weed, or black and milds. He has soft lips that aren't chapped and his hands aren't all raggedy he doesn't have a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He appreciates the little things and he's straight forward and loyal. He has a sense of humor and a wonderful smile.

Now the problem with any guy close to this is he probably doesn't exist or if he does he ain't looking for me, he is already taken, he is a player, or he thinks he is the shit because he is a rare find thus making him arrogant and a jackass in the process. Or he is on some I'm over enlightened my every thought is complex type hype. Yes you can be thinking all the time but not every thought is going to be that deep. You do have to give your brain a chance to relax or you will literally drive yourself insane. Or he is waiting in line hoping (insert whomever makes him hot) will stop loving athletes and fall in love with him. Whatever the problem is I'm not attracting the above guy I just described. It's a fail all the way around I have a check list, the guys have a check list and we just keep checking each other off the list and no one gets chosen which makes this merry-go-round one sad ride. We have build-a-bear why can't we have build-a-mate? How far are we from making clone/AI mates or a android operated booski's how far are we from making that a reality?