IS THERE SUCH A THING AS GOING TOO SLOW?

What does one consider slow when getting to meet a person especially a person you've met through a social app? How many text messages, skype dates, phone calls, does one do before you actually meet face to face?

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WHILE I WASN'T LOOKING DATING DIED AND "CHILLING" TOOK ITS PLACE

It's been a minute okay more than a minute but you didn't miss me so it doesn't matter. Some things have changed most things have remained the same and yada-yada. I hope the new year has brought about good things for all of those that cast an eye on this blog and I hope that everyone that reads this is good and living great lives. With that being said I want to vent about the death of dating.

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MR. SIDE PIECE

photo property of bornforit

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TURKEY OR THE SINGLE LIFE

I made this video you should watch, you're welcome, enjoy? If you choose to use it and send it around the web and make it a web sensation all I ask is that you use the original link and give me my credit thanks. After all if I had not been inspired by real life there would be no artwork. Read more...

CRIMINALS, CONVICTS, FELONS, EX-CON'S, MY SOUL SAY'S NO!

Maybe it's just my shitty luck or there just happens to be a whole lot of ex-cons and dudes that have had way to many run ins with the law gravitating towards my universe lately. Does every black male 19 and up have a criminal pass? I mean damn what is really going on in these streets and some of the reformed thugs/ ex-cons can't blame it on the recession cause some of y'all was putting in work before the economy went south. All that aside I just want to know why criminals seem to gravitate my way? I certainly am not a ride or die chick in the sense of helping build up criminal enterprises I'm not hiding drugs nor guns nor am I willing to lie to the feds or any of that gangsta betty type shit. I wasn't raised to embrace the criminal mindset nor to think that criminal activity in any way shape or form is hot. I was always raised to believe that you worked hard for what you wanted or you just went without.

So I don't get why folks that commit crimes or as they put it "make mistakes" get mad at me or offended when I decline to deal with them any further after they disclose that they have been behind bars. Believe it or not there are people who go their whole lives without going to jail or prison. Living in a bad situation doesn't give you an automatic right to just do illegal things. When you make choices in life you have to deal with all the consequences of said choices no one gets to escapes this basic life rule there is simply no way around it. I am not one who sees the selling of drugs, gang-banging, doing drive-by's, robbing people etc, as exciting I think that kind of behavior is deviant and reckless. Life is already hard enough and if you are a minority you don't need to give the police an extra reason to run up on you they do that because of your skin tone as is so again pardon me if I don't understand why I should be into ex-con's or jail birds.

It's sad how the 50 cent video glamorizes the whole penitentiary love situation. Here you have this beautiful girl who is knowingly dealing with a drug dealer and he gets locked up and she is right by his side taking them collect calls, getting those jail letters full of promises they won't keep once they get out, we even see her going for a conjugal visit in the video. I mean seriously, I know that there are some women who are down for this whole scenario and even believe that being a down ass chick for their man is what's really good in the streets but again and I can't stress this enough I AM NOT THAT CHICK, to these women there is nothing better than holding their man down while he does a bid, some even keep his criminal enterprises going so when he get's out he can resume right where he left off  its the stuff that ghetto lit is made up of. These women are putting money on the books, getting on buses to see these dudes, even bringing their children to visit they jail house daddies while that is alright for those ladies I again am not that chick. I never want to see the inside of a prison unless I am working there and even then I'm not trying to fraternize with the criminal element at all I want to be working in the office typing up papers far away from bars and big burly prison buff men who haven't seen a woman since they went in. I'm not into thugs never have been, I don't like the street life, nor the party scene, I'm boring and rather be at home watching anime or even doing arts and crafts.So I can't for the life of me understand what would make a criminal see me and be like yea I want her. For goodness sakes I am a complete square I like smart nerdy type boys (even though they don't seem to like me back..sadness).

Then on top of that how do you know these ex-con's won't drag you into drama or put you in a criminal situation? How do you know these "reformed criminals" aren't a threat to you or your family? What if the pressure gets to be to much to them and they feel like the only way they can make it is to resort back to their criminal ways what then? Plus any man that has done a significant stretch of time in a prison type situation has the high risk of being what they deem "jail gay" how can any woman turn a blind eye to that little tidbit? The bottom line for me is I just can't deal with the criminal element period. I'm sure there are people who have reformed their life and are walking the straight and narrow but once I know you were behind any type of bars and they weren't on a playground any little bit of feeling I was feeling for you vanishes completely and instantly its automatic I believe its preprogrammed into my DNA for me to behave this way. This belief is so strong its unshakable I'm sure this post will make some of the prison friendly people mad but we will have to agree to disagree because on this subject I'm not changing my mind.

Lastly I would like to leave you with some of my favorite prison videos these men in these videos....well form your own opinions enjoy.
believer


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NEEDED: A DATING REVOLUTION, A SOLUTION, AND SOME HOPE

Dear Men:(and ladies)

Hey it's me again can we have a mental pow wow? I mean there are some things on my mind that I would really like to share and I'm not attacking ya'll but there are some things that I feel I need to address. So why don't you let me get this off my brain and then if you choose too you can respond and maybe we can get a dialogue going, cool?

So there are a couple things that I am just down right adamant about concerning men, women, and dating and the things that men want that women allow that just needs to stop in general and especially if you call yourself trying to approach me (men this means you of course)

Sending any kind of sexual, half naked, fully naked, sexually suggestive, freak nasty, uncouth, no respect for yourself type of pictures to a phone, email, or home address nor should you get on webcam and do the shit either. This is a rule I strive to live by but obviously not everyone is of the same school of thought. I know that chicken heads are sending their asses through the mail before you even request it and many will send you videos of them doing freak nasty stuff, hell you can find many pictures of chicks on any given Ning site already buck naked with everything exposed so I don't get why you have to purposely seek out the chick who isn't showing her goodies to the world wide web for naked pictures. I am not a loose booty hoe and I get that you see every chick on the web naked so in a males mind it must be a birds of a feather flock together type thing so even if the one fully clothed female on a site is not naked you think you can talk your way into her sending you naked pictures because after all she must have them readily available to send and she just might be shy, right fellas or maybe you think she is a discreet freak and she just needs it coached out of her...

Look word to the wise if a woman wants to exploit herself she will she doesn't need any coaching nor prompting from any guy. So basically asking for hoe flicks is silly because if a chick gets down like that she will just send them to you without you even having to ask 9 times out of 10. I wasn't raised that way plus I respect myself way to much, and on top of that I'm no dummy once you send that kind of shit out there its no telling where it will end up and who will get their hands on it and then what? Rule of thumb ladies if you don't care about it turning up in only God knows who's hands, then by all means do it but when your ass ends up spread eagle on some rappers page or as a "you know you dead wrong" type of site for all of the cyber world and beyond to see then don't go crying and protesting because if you hadn't sent your ass through the mail in the first place you wouldn't have to be worried about being exposed. Bottom line fellas stop asking every woman you meet for her to "tease you with sexy pictures" or "asking her to see her booty" or asking even for "bra and pantie pictures" grow the fuck up and learn some decorum. If you haven't learned from seeing dumb celeb-whore-t's who's sextapes, explicit sexual text messages, and naked pictures have been leaked over and over again in the public spectrum then you're just a dumb ass who wants to and deserves to get shamed and be branded as the nasty type hoe chick who's naked pictures will live forever on the internet.

Asking me anything about sex in the 1st-5th conversation if you can't even pretend like you want to get to know me kick rocks with an open toe shoe on, as Brandy would say. I don't think its hot to immediately jump into a discussion of sex, nor is it hot to bombard me with question like, "when's the last time someone hit that", or "how big are your breast" or "what's your favorite position" its not okay to assume that I want to screw you, its not okay to ask me questions pertaining to what's up under my clothes and it's not okay to disregard common courtesy learn how to pronounce my name, and see if I even want to deal with you on a personal level let alone an intimate one, or you will always lose with me straight out the gate and contrary to what you may think or have been lead to believe big girls are no easier than smaller girls. A slore is  going to be a slore no matter her size so don't assume because a woman has some weight on her she is going to just take her panties off or pull them to the side and let you hit because you showed her some attention. Not every big woman falls into the stereotype of having low self esteem so don't make assumptions fellas.

Another pet peeve of mines is wack ass phone sex, please let me be clear I hate HATE phone sex its so dumb, look fellas again as a rule personally my girl 6 days are over (chalk that one up to youth). Plain and simple the shit is just wack and if the sexual need is all that then you need to find a way to make the sex jump off in real time. There is nothing sexy about hearing a grown ass man yanking, tugging, and wacking his dick talking about "yea baby" "ummmm baby you want me to cum for you, tell me how much you want me to cum for you" and then your big goofy ass cums sounding like a little bitch I mean damn you don't even have any bass in your voice, again grow up and shit. It's not sexy to me to hear a grown man moaning and groaning while he's by himself touching on himself if anything its kind of ridiculous. Now there is a way to go about everything, if you want to spice things up then be sensual send her sexy not vulgar text messages for example: Baby I can't wait to see you tonight I have a sexy surprise in store for my one and only <<<(sexy and intriguing); Girl I want to lick your pussy until your peach squirts cum flavored juices all down my throat. <<<(vulgar and childish) Now look fellas I can't speak for every woman in the world I can only tell you what works and what doesn't work for me some broads like vulgar because that's all they know. Some broads will settle for a 6pack of beer and some beer nuts and she will gladly give up the ass and then their are other females like myself who are not going for any of that not at all. Also there is an exception to every rule sometimes its cool to slip a vulgar text message in but only if you are on a certain level with who you're sending it to some people will get offended so know your audience basically.

I'm a woman and as a woman I enjoy doing feminine things, getting my hair done, getting my nails done, shopping for cute outfits, buying make-up and wearing make-up, nurturing babies, taking care of family, providing a warm home environment, cooking, etc. These are some of the things I do because its in my nature and I don't see anything wrong with doing these things because I like to do them but this is not all I am this is just one side of me. I know I might come off as hard but at the end of the day I am still a woman with a soft side. I don't get to show that side because frankly fellas you don't earn it. You want me to be a woman and do certain things for you but you not even doing the bare minimum to earn these things.I refuse to play wifey for someone that is not legally my husband if you want to be treated like a husband I suggest you carry your ass over to Robbins Brothers and make that happen. Yes I know women are independent, they can work and maintain households and all that jazz I'm so well aware of that fact but I believe in the strive for independence the roles of men and women have been so muddied along the way until we are just all messed up and we don't know how to treat each other properly anymore. The male and female rules are all screwed up resulting in this flagrant mockery of what dating is passing for these days.

 There used to be a time when men opened doors both building and car doors, there used to be a time when men came to a woman's house and actually walked up to the door and rang the doorbell and escorted the woman to his car versus calling her on the cellphone and telling her he here so she can run out to the car, or blowing his car horn like a moron, he would proceed to open the car door for her help her get inside and made sure she was in and comfortable before he went around to his side and got settled in. There was a time when men actually dated you, they were actually interested in getting to know you, showed an interest in you and what you felt or at least they convincingly faked genuine interest long enough to hook a woman, called you just to hear your voice, sent you flowers or some token of admiration and appreciation, came to the door with something in his hand more than his hat. Met your family and looked your father/brother/uncle in the eye and had conversations about his intentions, Men were more respectful and in kind women were soft and womanly able to be a little vulnerable and sweet and women were more respectable and demure. In other words there were rituals, rules, stages, one went through before there was even a hint of intimacy jumping off. There was courtship going on, there was romance, and mystery, passion, a sweetness, now its all garbage. I realize for many they didn't have an example of how to treat a woman growing up and they learned it piece-meal from women or random men or it was all trial and error. Plus modern society dictates that all the things I just typed out are not what's hot in the streets. Expecting this type of behavior from a man this day and age will have you single and out of luck and its a pity and a shame. Now men don't even bother to do the basics the bare minimum. When you're with a woman that you care about you are supposed to take care of her, this fellas is your job. This is the reason you gave up a rib, this is the reason you have the outtie and we have the innie. You are supposed to love, protect, honor and shield us. There is a reason you have bigger everything, broader shoulders, deeper voices, bigger hands, more strength etc you are supposed to be our protectors and we are supposed to be your helpmates. I realize that between the sexes it hasn't always been roses but since I've been living I have watched it get progressively worst. I know I am shouting at the wind but damn fellas you don't even play the game anymore there is no mystery, you make me not even want to try. Yes I know you don't do a lot of things simply because the "modern woman" will treat you like a chump for doing it but I am a bit old fashioned and I like being paid attention I like someone who pays attention to details and I like a man who knows what it means to be a man a real one not a facsimile of one.

In essence fellas I have standards and rules, rules that I am not willing to break. They aren't hard rules but they do separate the serious from the just came here to play. I am not difficult I am just not willing to let you play with me like I am an object to be toyed with. I have certain standards and expectations that I need met from any man who thinks he wants to toss his hat into the ring for my time and affection. The problem fellas is not my rules its because you're not use to dealing with a woman who isn't going for the crap that you pull. If you want quality and substance you have to be willing to give as good as you get. No one wants to do that because it's far easier to get with the chick that will let you do any and everything and not call you on it. You've become lax and have lost the will to date the right way. Its like always dining on microwaved tv dinners when all you want is a good home cooked meal stop cheating yourselves. Everyone male and female needs to readjust their thinking women as a whole need to set standards if every woman set standards then men would have no choice but to deal with it or procreation would grind to a halt as we know it and I don't think anyone wants that! We need some new ground with dating, a fresh start with how men and women especially black men and women relate to each other, and overall dating needs a face lift ASAP! I know this post was long winded but it was a long time coming but I hope it will give someone pause for the cause or at least open up a dialog between men and women hopefully.


Some Books to check out if you wish:





















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IT'S NOT RIGHT BUT IT'S OKAY

Girls get a bum deal. We get to wear training bras then graduate to real bra's for the rest of your lives, hips, cramps, periods, pap smears, and the list goes on and on and lets not even discuss pushing out a child. We also get to deal with men. I don't know who or what thought this love stuff up but it should be returned to sender. From the first school yard crush to your first love none of this shit is easy and the worst part is it never seems to get any better and if you're never lucky enough to have some decent relationships then really its all bad. It's kinda like being a part of a gang with men on one side women on the other there is constant fighting with each other resulting in there being plenty causalities walking around with enough emotional scars and emotional baggage to fill up the twin towers and several other jails around the country.

Ever since I can remember I have had the misfortune of having the worst luck in the romance department. From the crushes during middle school to the first boyfriend on up its just been one tragic sad mishap one after the next. I gotta start to wonder if I need an evaluation cause you have to be crazy to keep wishing for the best but constantly getting nothing but the worst. I don't know if I have the worst luck or if my karma is just really messed up. I can't seem to ever just luck out and bump into that "one" guy that is the pay off for kissing all these frogs thus far. I don't even have a huge list of wants or requirements just the basics will do. He doesn't have to look like a movie star just be decent and not frighten small children in the daytime but I digress.

And trust me I am not looking I never look I don't seek anything or anyone out either but I'm starting to think that might be part of the problem. I know the popular thoughts on the matter is that you are supposed to be patient and WAIT for this person to just show up but if he doesn't know where you are, or doesn't know you even exist then how is he supposed to find you? I always thought that passage from the bible that says "a man that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing" in my mind I have always believed that, that passage is saying that the man is supposed to choose the women that he wants to marry, right? The guy is supposed to choose you, find you, or whatever period but most guys I know aren't that astute. But I never chase down, go after, come at guys, EVER. I've always liked guys from afar, or even when I had the audacity to let someone know I had a crush on them or they found out it just has ALWAYS turned out bad so as a rule I don't approach the fellas at all no matter how much I want too I just have never ever done it. So I basically get the guys that are interested in seeking me out and I don't think that is working in my favor not at all. All these dudes that are finding their way to me so to speak I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy they are just certified chumps. They just don't amount to much and they not talking about nothing I want to hear so really what is the deal?

I've been single for years now, I've been patient, I've been good, I've done everything I'm supposed too so why is it that I am still in the same boat I've been in for years? I feel like Luther Vandross curl that never quite curled all the way over. I really do try and keep the faith, and hope for the best but man its only so much a girl can take in this life. Maybe there isn't a lid for every pot, there isn't someone for everyone, and we all don't get the happily ever after. Maybe some of us are just here to fill in as extra's in romantic dramadies while the main characters in the story the folks that manage to find love go on to be blissfully happy. While the rest of us just sort of fall by the wayside eventually. Good girls not only finish last they don't even get to participate in the damn race all they get is ignored and disregarded. Shit, shrugs I guess its the cards I've been dealt and I gotta stop expecting something good to happen and just reconcile myself to this tragic fate of mine. I think if I let go of this tiny piece of hope still floating around in my head then I can truly embrace the fact that I am just supposed to be single and that's all there is to it I keep saying it it's just that tiny little speck of hope is a pesky little bugger I'll stamp it out yet.

Okay seriously, I want to close the chapter on this love, lack of love, relationships, lack of relationships chapter altogether I'm just tired of being stuck on the same pages and repeating the same damn couple of lines over and over enough already. Lets get a new chapter started one that starts with something like...He was a different type of dude a well rounded dapper fellow that was mellow even tempered and had sense. He was responsible and focused. He was also looking to settle down but not with just anybody he was looking for HER and when he bumped into her he would know just who she was. He would feel it and she would too it would be electric....see how its not hard hell the chapter is almost written if only the main hero would show up in the nick of time to save the day....see that speck of hope is hard to kill blame it on the hopeless romantic that is buried deep down in my soul...that heffa refuses to stop believing she's a glutton for punishment. Read more...

TIRED OF K.F.C.'S; KENTUCY FRIED CHUMPS

If you haven't guessed by now then you ought to know that dating(for lack of a better term) in southern California is like kicking yourself in the ass repeatedly with some soccer cleats. But it might just be me because I am a bit old fashioned when it comes to my approach and thing concerning men and anything relationship wise. I am simply tired of clowns in men suits shit is ridiculous the art of dating and courtship has been killed and replaced with utter bullshit. I really can't get with the bullshit that passes for male and female interaction these days. Its pure unadulterated bullshit painted in modern justifiability and passed off as the hauteness. Females have lowered their standards so much so that a chicken dinner, or super-sizing it will more than likely get a fella some ass and head. You don't even have to pronounce the chicks name right and you can still get some ass in this day and age. Its sad and its getting worst because no one is teaching young dudes in this day and age how to treat a woman, and no daddies around to teach their daughters how to be treated and respected by males. It's anything goes in these streets, parents are dropping the ball left and right when it comes to telling their daughters and sons how to treat each other because a lot of the adults don't know how to treat each other and they haven't figured it out for themselves shit is sad and disheartening.

So when a dude comes across a female that has requirements and standards he goes into shock. He's intrigued for a minute but when he finds out that he has to actually invest time, interest, resources and get to actually know her well enough to go out with her then he quickly drops the pursuit of said chick and moves on to the next much easier target. I don't know if in other states its like this but in Cali it most definitely is. Plus add to the fact that the main dudes in Cali either fall into four major groups.

Group 1: Upper middle class which means they are making decent money, they have a degree, they either drive a Benz, Lexus, or a Bentley, they shop at the Beverly center and they either live in the valley, weho, or ladera heights, but does not even date black women not at all, or if he does she has to be petite fairs-skinned, long hair, and as unblack acting as possible. But most likely they stick to Caucasian, Asian, and Hispanic women period no exceptions. They usually are the men who frown or look at "common" black women as ghetto trash who they say are, loud, overweight, and domineering. The funny and sad part is these very same men WILL and HAVE married women fresh out the trailer parks, and even very obese and unattractive white women but these very men have no problem upgrading these women but for a black women in the same situation he is very turned off condescending and callous makes you wonder about the psychosis of this very same man.

Group 2: Gay, down low, hood-down low dudes this group should be self explanatory.

Group 3: men with emotional baggage one chick hurt them one time and now they don't trust any women. They quick to flip out on you emotionally over nothing. Little grown boys dudes who think they got it going on but they haven't a clue how to treat a women not even the essentials. But they usually got more than one kid and multiple baby mommas but have trouble maintaining a long term relationship. The word commitment freaks them out and they have nothing to show for their existence except an xbox 360, some Jordan's, and a car with a stereo system and rims on it in his momma name.

Group 4: the rest of the men, they want a quick lay. They want you to send them naked, or "tease" pictures digitally they want you to phone sex them and all this shit within the first meeting of them. They try and convince you that they have the dick of life and when you shut their asses down they then become what I call fringe dudes, they wait around on the edges and every blue moon they speak/contact you/call/email or see you in the street and they show interest enough again to find out if your standards and requirements have lowered or weakened so they can then try and get what they wanted in the first place which is ass and when you still the same they fall back to the edges and will show up again when they single its what they do.

People often espouse don't look for love, okay but let me tell you people something I don't think there is a way to look for love, love is an emotion one that can be faked the most you can do is seek out or try and find what you deem is a quality person to be in your world or you can be passive and just let whatever is interested in you come your way. Now when you go the passive route you will get any and everything I know because I never ever approach men so what I end up with is chump city. Men who are just raggedy, shamelessly tired and trifling. Since these men are already down and out anything they get is a bonus and they have nothing to lose because they had absolutely nothing in the first place. Now with that being said there has to be a middle ground, I don't think being proactive in your romantic endeavors makes you desperate it makes you forward thinking and efficient. If you sit around and wait for love then it may never find you, and since men aren't really about love these days it would behoove you to ask the pertinent questions and then move on if said person is not what you may be seeking. That way you don't waste your time stepping out with a kentucky fried chump who just wants to go to burger hut and then slide between your sheets beat, skeet, and then delete you.

I am so tired of the men in southern cali beyond tired actually. Just once I wish I could meet a guy that was about business, and we clicked on all levels. Versus all these hit and misses I always encounter. I understand we are in hard times but if you absolutely don't have the money to date then you need to state that from the beginning and let the person you digging see if they are willing to work with you. Don't just assume that the person you going out with even likes you well enough to want to even do that with you. Because in order for a person to spend time with you then they have to be genuinely interested and not just wanting to simply go out just to be going out there is a difference!

Ladies word of advice raise your standards, stop settling for kentucky fried chumps, stop hopping in the bed with these niggas cause they got slick talk, and stop just taking bullshit. Make him work for it, he should be doing basic gentlemanly things, opening all doors car included, he should pay for the first dinner at a nice place applebee's and chili's does not count, he should come see you dressed decently if his drawers are showing send his ass packing, his car should be washed, or if you're driving and your car is dirty he should at least offer to wash it for you or fill the tank up, check the oil, check the tire pressure, damn do something besides ride in the passenger seat. If you don't set standards then you will get anything and when you get just anything then you aren't allowed to complain!

Fellas...sigh you're a whole other post smh its way to much I need to say to y'all about this shamockery you all call dating these days smh. Read more...

PENIS ON PARADE

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SOUTHERN BOOTY BANDIT (NSFW EXPLICIT IMAGES)

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GET BACK BLACK; SNOW BUNNIES IS WHERE ITS AT

Black men and their snow bunnies still irk the fuck out of me I don't think it would be such an issue if it wasn't constantly being thrown in black women faces that black men have moved on and they are no longer wanting us we got the fucking memo bitches thanks. The black men that go out of their way to date white women proudly squire these women around town, spend massive amounts of money on them, gladly procreate with these women, all the while grinning and showing all their pearly whites because they have finally in their minds acquired the ultimate prize a snow bunny.

In America when you get a bonafide snow bunny on your arm then it means one or two things you paid as hell or your dick is big as a toddlers arm. I don't care how you want to paint the picture nor how you want to dress it up and make it seem like its anything besides what it is. If it wasn't such a big deal to still get with a white woman then black men wouldn't be so amped to do the shit. They know it brings them attention and notoriety, sometimes even status and privilege if they get the right white woman. Sometimes she can even be trailer trash and they will just be happy to be with her because she is white! Even though it is done more in this day and age it is still that "when I reach that monetary mountain top I am going to plant my black flag in between the white cakes of some wheffah and then I am going to strut around town with her and flaunt her in black women faces because she is a trophy. Proof that your bank account is large and in charge and therefore you can afford a bonafide snow bunny in your bed." A snow bunny is the ultimate status symbol letting others around you know you have enough money in the back to keep a white woman with you.

I'm past the emotion of sadness, but there is still anger I also think the shit is ultra lame and if a black man wants to ditch black women altogether and go after his trophy snow bunny then so be it but please when the shit hits the fan and the bottom drops out in your life and your snow bunny hits the road don't come back to a black woman crying on her shoulder trying to get some solace just find you another snow bunny and keep it pushing and please don't even attempt to make eye contact on the streets while walking with your snow bunnies, don't attempt to say "what's up sista" don't even go out of your way to acknowledge me because I won't even see you. Just like you don't see me and its not malice its survival. I don't expect for a black man to sympathize with me or even understand what I write. Because to them coochie is coochie even if it is housed in a vanilla casing, and as always save that we are the world shit for someone else. If we weren't meant to see color or be different then we would have all come here looking the same way with the same pigment, features, and genetics. I don't subscribe to the melting pot theory I don't want to be melted down, meshed and spliced into something else that shit is bogus.









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DEAR TYRONE, TO THE BLACK MEN OF THE WORLD

Let me preface this letter by saying I am quite aware that not all of you are named Tyrone just like every white man's name is not John but since this is in fact a Dear John letter but addressed to ALL the black men in the world then I felt I had to go with something you all were familiar with you got a problem with it see management now onto the letter.

Dear Tyrone:



I was the last woman standing I was on your side I was that ride or die chick that you all claimed you wanted. I still supported you even when so many have turned your back on your own race and had nothing but complete and utter disdain for a black woman. I was still holding you down when you talked bad about black women and disrespected us called us out our names. Exploited us in your videos and etc. I thought that you would get right once you saw that Obama had a strong black woman by his side but nope you continue to act like donkeys. I have tried to walk on eggshells with you all and then I have tried tough love I have tried every angle I know but it is never enough for you. You continue to push me away and tell me I am not worthy of your attention, protection, nor affection. I am tired I was holding up that blood stained banner but now I have let it fall out of my weary and worn hand. I can no longer ignore the things that you say and do.

I have been continuously pushed aside, ignored, or when you talk with me you either lie, flip out for no reason, have severe physiologically issues, you got way to many baby-mommas child support coming out your check, no car, you live with your momma, A couple of you have even told me directly that white women, Hispanic women, are better for the black men and that you are tired of black women because black women don't support your tired asses and we have to much lip. I am tired of meeting black men who don't know what it means to be a black man because no one ever showed your asses. I'm tired of being talked to any old kind of way because some woman before me did a number on you, like you own the market on being emotionally wounded. I'm tired of your smug slut asses telling me I'm not girlfriend material because I won't get on camera and show you my ass and titties, or neither will I have phone sex with you, or even cyber sex. Who's still doing that in this day and age with just random people grow the fuck up and enjoy the real thing. I don't need a poor facsimile of the real thing that does nothing for me at all why do we have to talk sex into the ground discuss it once and then proceed to do the damn thing if not keep it moving. You don't know how to be direct unless you're being an asshole, you don't know how to be truthful, you try and manipulate and lie your way into someones panties. You tell me I am too hard, what the fuck does that mean? Shall I just take whatever you give me and enjoy it. Shall I just let you tell me any old thing and take it at face value. No one ever takes the time to stick it out because its to easy to just find another chick who will let you do and just say anything to her and she will eat that shit up with a spoon. I'm not a steel wall and I am not putty either you want everything to easy no one wants to work for anything anymore.



Because black women don't lay down and worship the ground you walk on, because we don't let you do any and every low down nasty trifling sexual act your perverted mind can come up with by watching white fetish porn, because we don't stop our lives and put yours and everything you're about first, because we aren't doormats that lay down for you to walk all over us, because we have the nerve to demand excellence and have standards. Because we call you out when you disrespect us and hold you accountable for your actions. I'm tired, I'm tired of y'all bitter, silly, trifling asses, I'm tired of all YOUR baggage, I'm tired of all the bullshit that you bring. I'm tired of trying to win you over and your approval, I'm tired of standing on my head and trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I'm tired of always seeing the ones who have accomplished something quickly running to a white woman because you refuse to deal with a black woman calling her evil and ornery. I'm especially tired of the shiftless coon ass niggers that get money and then proceed to get an Asian, Hispanic, or white woman because you hate yourself and the very skin that you're in so therefore you find a woman who doesn't reflect you, but that woman you treat with the utmost respect and admiration while shunning and ignoring black women. That's fine some of you all aren't really black anyway you're just white men wrapped in a dark shell, they do have lightening creams for that and with enough money you can become Michale Jackson's new color and even have white children complete with the blond hair and blue eyes modern technology is your friend!

It's not enough that black women have given birth to your asses, its not enough that black women have always supported you even though since we been in this country you have stood by and let other men of different races violate and disrespect us for sport the sick twisted part is some where along the line you joined in and begin to see us as less then. You the men who sprung forth from a black womb begin to think less of a black woman then the rest of the world and now there is no unity in the communities, there are next to no two parent households left. It's just straight bullshit in dating. So yes here is one more bitter black woman you can add to your rolls. I'm handing in my black men lover button, and taking my name off the fan club. I quit you black men and unless a severe miracle happens to change my heart, mind and opinion of you I'm forever gone. You won't even notice because I'm invisible to you so fuck it this is for me to vent and clear my head and it will be a reminder whenever I begin to weaver in my resolve.

I don't need you anymore black men, you are now dead to me ghost in the streets, the hallways and anywhere else you dwell.



Sincerely,
ME.

Chante Moore - Bitter

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CAUTION AHEAD; HEED THE RED FLAGS

Ya know the dating in southern Cali post I write are really meant to help women not fall for the new dumb that is currently masking itself as what's hot in the streets. Ladies I always say please don't throw your pearls before swine. Just because you are getting older, or may be lonely, or want children its just really no reason to settle for the bullshit that is dating these days. It needs to stop if no one has standards we all suffer. IF more women said hell no that is not acceptable to me and I'm not going to deal with your trifling ass then these men would have to either get it together or be by their damn selves. But because women outnumber men and because it's some silly bitches* out here just taking any ole bullshit we all have to suffer. Now with that said I want to talk about one particular kind of man that I don't believe I have ever had to touch on until now. This particular man is the most dangerous kind and if you ever encounter him you should run fast and hard in the opposite direction save your life and anyone else's life that is even remotely interested in him.

This particular man is called the "I AIN'T GETTING TESTED, BECAUSE I'M CLEAN TAKE MY WORD FOR IT MAN!"



First and foremost let's go with a man that I casually ran across on blackplanet, now before you start up with see you shouldn't be on there looking for men, please believe me when I say I am not on blackplanet looking for men. Blackplanet is a breeding ground for the worst common denominator there is. Majority of the men on there are warped and damaged in some way, shape, or form and it manifest in their lives the minute you even hold a conversation with them. It didn't used to be so bad when bp first came about but now (shudders) its all bad, and that is sad because I'm sure blackplanet didn't start out as the booty spot. I truly think it was made for people to network in a positive way not in a can we meet and FUCK have relations type spot.

Anyways on with the story I like browsing websites it gives you insight into a persons personality, it shows their creative side, I discover different music artist, hear different songs, matter of fact if it wasn't for a blackplanet page I wouldn't have discovered that JANELLE MONAE is the business and my kind of artist times 1000 she has a distinctive sound and she is actually talking about something in her songs I am and will always be a lyrics type person. More on her later, anywho so on my many random looking at peoples pages on blackplanet I came across this particular dudes page I read his little personal message and he SEEMED sane I though hmmm maybe just maybe this person might be valuable possibly have some knowledge hell he might know someone that I might need to meet, you never know anyway so I sent him a friends request wasn't expecting any kind of big to-do about it. People send friends request all the time to get their numbers up or to promote their products, so I figure why not me as well. At the end of the day Blackplanet is still a networking site, so dude sends me back a message like:

CALL ME XXX-XXX-XXXX- IF YOU INTERESTED.

So I read the note and I'm like what? Simple note but color me confused so I was like ummm alright took me a whole day to process it. Matter of fact I sent him a note back like, Interested in what? Plus he didn't even leave a name, so after much deliberation I called the number left a very brief message he called me back today early in the morning 7:15am to be exact. Since I had to get up anyway I took the call, everything is cool he sounds relatively sane which surprises me because blackplanet men = damaged goods, and then the other shoe dropped. We hit the rocky shores of the inevitable S.E.X. discussion.

Okay now here is where it starts to get crazy as hell, we're talking I share with him that I haven't been breaking off cookie for a minute a good long minute, to which he replies you must have coochie cobwebs....I'm like whatever dude, so we talking more he shares how long he has been abstaining, we talk more I then say that in order for me to feel comfortable engaging with a dude in a sexual manner I would suggest that both of us get tested together. Dude flips out going on and on about me trying to control a relationship, and blah blah blah, yada-yada-yada. He just fired up and from that point on since I spoke on testing he's jumping down my throat like a sky diver. I really can't get a word in edgewise he pressing me for answers like I'm on trial. While all this is going on I'm stunned into silence like I've been stung by a sting ray. He then says that's like asking a guy to prove themselves without me proving myself, and he did all his proving in college and that he shouldn't have to prove himself, and I should be able to take him on his word. I just listened all the time in my mind thinking I'm going to hang up on this mofo soon because by this time I'm pissed off and I could be sleeping or washing clothes hell even watching my toe nails grow, finally this loony fucker says ya know what we should just end this conversation and that's all I needed to hear him say I'm sure he was saying something else but I pressed my end button and mentally unwound and then went to sleep.

Anytime you get a man that vehemently opposed to taking an AIDS test even casually brought up in the first conversation and he flips out about it, that is a RED FLAG run like hell. Block that mofo, erase him from your mind he's dangerous he's got something he's hiding if he has to do all that protesting acting as if he is Dracula and you asked to kiss him with garlic on your breath. RUN. LIKE. HELL.




*Just like there are simple men there are simple women and some of y'all are simply simple bitches hence the term simple bitches! Read more...

WITH ANOTHER SPRING COMES THE NU DUMB

Spring is in the air and I can tell from the boo'ed up twits on twitter to the men and women putting out their finest bait to snag a shorty its that time and then some. I don't know what it is about this particular spring but I seem so very hyper aware of all the desire to be coupled up. While I recognize that this is part of human nature somethings are still not acceptable and I wouldn't be me without running those things down. With the advance of technology and people building online communities left and right meeting someone on the internet and dating them is not that big of a stretch and if you are still one of those people who are closet internet daters come on out the closet it's 2009.

1. Yes for many Blackplanet is like the local club in your city, your town usa. Some have even compared it to MIDNIGHT BOOTY CALL for example anytime that you hit up a young woman that you don't know and then proceed to ask her to meet you at 1am in the morning and get mad and disgusted when she doesn't that doesn't make you a good man even if in your mind you deem yourself to be one in actuality it makes you weird and possibly a rapist.

2. Another no-no is the call a chick once describe your weird wants body wise, while proceeding to badger said chick on while she is single, then proceed to tell her that you aren't involved because you're too busy and you don't do long distance relationships, so basically you shouldn't be hitting chicks up you should get a blow up doll to satisfy your sexual needs. Next time just put everything in a note that way you give people the option to ignore you for being a waste of time, stop pretending to be normal saving up your weirdness for the phone call damn.

3. the dude who adds finds you and adds you on every social network site you both are on and he has never ever even met you and then proceeds to send you notes on all networking sites saying basically the same thing, trying to break you down so that you will hang out with/call/be his chick not even in that order, so much so that sometimes you find yourself wanting to give in but then you take another look at him and your mind quickly changes back to its original decision.

4. The I just moved here and I'm looking for friends dude, who makes plans to come meet you but can't come before night time even though daylight savings is now over. Who has more than one kid, still live with his momma and nem and his car is always in the shop...needless to say pass and run.

5. The I'm from the south out here in cali looking for a better opportunity/came to take care of a elderly family member, but I am a ex-con who has more than one baby momma, and in your own admission each time you have made a baby you have magically fell out of love with the baby momma. For real dude and you can't understand why a chick wouldn't want to take her chances with you.

6. The I am a full time dad who's wishy washy about what he wants, claims he wants a woman with swagger, claims he can work you with his man sausage but when it comes time for follow through he has none he can't even lift a finger to make a phone call basically talker who loves to hear/see his words because at the end of the day it's still just recreation for him a kid playing online, but has the nerve to say that you are being difficult because you won't fall for the okie-doke hook line and sinker.

7. last but not freaking least the African's who have gotten hip to putting united states cities and states instead of where they really online communicating from, all the same messages about how they half-African and something else how they was raised in the states but are in Africa taking care of a sick parent, how they would love to get to know you better because you are the one for them because you are so beautiful that shit drives me up the wall how many damn times do I have to report y'all asses as spam get on outta here with that shit. You not fooling nobody with all them sentences not making sense and misspelled words, and words used in the wrong context I'm starting to believe that Africa doesn't need any help cause it's way to many of y'all on blackplanet, and myspace.

8. married men/swingers/pimps/porn producers dudes that have wives but they are into the extra freaky lifestyle. Who have kids, and a wife but still want to bring other women into the bedroom, running that tired game about how his wife is bi-curious and they want to recruit you into the bedroom and since it's an economy y'all can all help each other out...yea they getting real creative with the new dumbness these days. Then when you shut em down they get extra mad and start popping off about how you are going to be single forever because you won't give their whole scenario a try...le-sigh.

9. last but not least ninja's with less than what you got but they steadily thinking they the shit because they been with witches who overlook that shit and except it. Coming at you sideways telling you that you should be grateful for their presence and what they have to offer which is hard dick and bubblegum minus the bubblegum smh. Then wanting to run down why you can't get a man, and what you need to do to get a man because they see the flaws they perceive you as having and since they are perfect because they have been serving dick to every other chick having sex with so many until they have lost count this has some how enlightened them and put them in the position to correct your perceived shortcomings some may even go so far as to pray for you! The audacity of some ninja's is beyond compare, smh.



From now on I will be putting on blast all the foolishness that is coming my way...so ring the alarm and put it out on the wire because this shit needs to stop ASAP! Read more...