THE BAD HABIT OF COMING TO THE RESCUE...AND MY SHOULDER IS NO LONGER YOUR KLEENEX

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NEEDED: A DATING REVOLUTION, A SOLUTION, AND SOME HOPE

Dear Men:(and ladies)

Hey it's me again can we have a mental pow wow? I mean there are some things on my mind that I would really like to share and I'm not attacking ya'll but there are some things that I feel I need to address. So why don't you let me get this off my brain and then if you choose too you can respond and maybe we can get a dialogue going, cool?

So there are a couple things that I am just down right adamant about concerning men, women, and dating and the things that men want that women allow that just needs to stop in general and especially if you call yourself trying to approach me (men this means you of course)

Sending any kind of sexual, half naked, fully naked, sexually suggestive, freak nasty, uncouth, no respect for yourself type of pictures to a phone, email, or home address nor should you get on webcam and do the shit either. This is a rule I strive to live by but obviously not everyone is of the same school of thought. I know that chicken heads are sending their asses through the mail before you even request it and many will send you videos of them doing freak nasty stuff, hell you can find many pictures of chicks on any given Ning site already buck naked with everything exposed so I don't get why you have to purposely seek out the chick who isn't showing her goodies to the world wide web for naked pictures. I am not a loose booty hoe and I get that you see every chick on the web naked so in a males mind it must be a birds of a feather flock together type thing so even if the one fully clothed female on a site is not naked you think you can talk your way into her sending you naked pictures because after all she must have them readily available to send and she just might be shy, right fellas or maybe you think she is a discreet freak and she just needs it coached out of her...

Look word to the wise if a woman wants to exploit herself she will she doesn't need any coaching nor prompting from any guy. So basically asking for hoe flicks is silly because if a chick gets down like that she will just send them to you without you even having to ask 9 times out of 10. I wasn't raised that way plus I respect myself way to much, and on top of that I'm no dummy once you send that kind of shit out there its no telling where it will end up and who will get their hands on it and then what? Rule of thumb ladies if you don't care about it turning up in only God knows who's hands, then by all means do it but when your ass ends up spread eagle on some rappers page or as a "you know you dead wrong" type of site for all of the cyber world and beyond to see then don't go crying and protesting because if you hadn't sent your ass through the mail in the first place you wouldn't have to be worried about being exposed. Bottom line fellas stop asking every woman you meet for her to "tease you with sexy pictures" or "asking her to see her booty" or asking even for "bra and pantie pictures" grow the fuck up and learn some decorum. If you haven't learned from seeing dumb celeb-whore-t's who's sextapes, explicit sexual text messages, and naked pictures have been leaked over and over again in the public spectrum then you're just a dumb ass who wants to and deserves to get shamed and be branded as the nasty type hoe chick who's naked pictures will live forever on the internet.

Asking me anything about sex in the 1st-5th conversation if you can't even pretend like you want to get to know me kick rocks with an open toe shoe on, as Brandy would say. I don't think its hot to immediately jump into a discussion of sex, nor is it hot to bombard me with question like, "when's the last time someone hit that", or "how big are your breast" or "what's your favorite position" its not okay to assume that I want to screw you, its not okay to ask me questions pertaining to what's up under my clothes and it's not okay to disregard common courtesy learn how to pronounce my name, and see if I even want to deal with you on a personal level let alone an intimate one, or you will always lose with me straight out the gate and contrary to what you may think or have been lead to believe big girls are no easier than smaller girls. A slore is  going to be a slore no matter her size so don't assume because a woman has some weight on her she is going to just take her panties off or pull them to the side and let you hit because you showed her some attention. Not every big woman falls into the stereotype of having low self esteem so don't make assumptions fellas.

Another pet peeve of mines is wack ass phone sex, please let me be clear I hate HATE phone sex its so dumb, look fellas again as a rule personally my girl 6 days are over (chalk that one up to youth). Plain and simple the shit is just wack and if the sexual need is all that then you need to find a way to make the sex jump off in real time. There is nothing sexy about hearing a grown ass man yanking, tugging, and wacking his dick talking about "yea baby" "ummmm baby you want me to cum for you, tell me how much you want me to cum for you" and then your big goofy ass cums sounding like a little bitch I mean damn you don't even have any bass in your voice, again grow up and shit. It's not sexy to me to hear a grown man moaning and groaning while he's by himself touching on himself if anything its kind of ridiculous. Now there is a way to go about everything, if you want to spice things up then be sensual send her sexy not vulgar text messages for example: Baby I can't wait to see you tonight I have a sexy surprise in store for my one and only <<<(sexy and intriguing); Girl I want to lick your pussy until your peach squirts cum flavored juices all down my throat. <<<(vulgar and childish) Now look fellas I can't speak for every woman in the world I can only tell you what works and what doesn't work for me some broads like vulgar because that's all they know. Some broads will settle for a 6pack of beer and some beer nuts and she will gladly give up the ass and then their are other females like myself who are not going for any of that not at all. Also there is an exception to every rule sometimes its cool to slip a vulgar text message in but only if you are on a certain level with who you're sending it to some people will get offended so know your audience basically.

I'm a woman and as a woman I enjoy doing feminine things, getting my hair done, getting my nails done, shopping for cute outfits, buying make-up and wearing make-up, nurturing babies, taking care of family, providing a warm home environment, cooking, etc. These are some of the things I do because its in my nature and I don't see anything wrong with doing these things because I like to do them but this is not all I am this is just one side of me. I know I might come off as hard but at the end of the day I am still a woman with a soft side. I don't get to show that side because frankly fellas you don't earn it. You want me to be a woman and do certain things for you but you not even doing the bare minimum to earn these things.I refuse to play wifey for someone that is not legally my husband if you want to be treated like a husband I suggest you carry your ass over to Robbins Brothers and make that happen. Yes I know women are independent, they can work and maintain households and all that jazz I'm so well aware of that fact but I believe in the strive for independence the roles of men and women have been so muddied along the way until we are just all messed up and we don't know how to treat each other properly anymore. The male and female rules are all screwed up resulting in this flagrant mockery of what dating is passing for these days.

 There used to be a time when men opened doors both building and car doors, there used to be a time when men came to a woman's house and actually walked up to the door and rang the doorbell and escorted the woman to his car versus calling her on the cellphone and telling her he here so she can run out to the car, or blowing his car horn like a moron, he would proceed to open the car door for her help her get inside and made sure she was in and comfortable before he went around to his side and got settled in. There was a time when men actually dated you, they were actually interested in getting to know you, showed an interest in you and what you felt or at least they convincingly faked genuine interest long enough to hook a woman, called you just to hear your voice, sent you flowers or some token of admiration and appreciation, came to the door with something in his hand more than his hat. Met your family and looked your father/brother/uncle in the eye and had conversations about his intentions, Men were more respectful and in kind women were soft and womanly able to be a little vulnerable and sweet and women were more respectable and demure. In other words there were rituals, rules, stages, one went through before there was even a hint of intimacy jumping off. There was courtship going on, there was romance, and mystery, passion, a sweetness, now its all garbage. I realize for many they didn't have an example of how to treat a woman growing up and they learned it piece-meal from women or random men or it was all trial and error. Plus modern society dictates that all the things I just typed out are not what's hot in the streets. Expecting this type of behavior from a man this day and age will have you single and out of luck and its a pity and a shame. Now men don't even bother to do the basics the bare minimum. When you're with a woman that you care about you are supposed to take care of her, this fellas is your job. This is the reason you gave up a rib, this is the reason you have the outtie and we have the innie. You are supposed to love, protect, honor and shield us. There is a reason you have bigger everything, broader shoulders, deeper voices, bigger hands, more strength etc you are supposed to be our protectors and we are supposed to be your helpmates. I realize that between the sexes it hasn't always been roses but since I've been living I have watched it get progressively worst. I know I am shouting at the wind but damn fellas you don't even play the game anymore there is no mystery, you make me not even want to try. Yes I know you don't do a lot of things simply because the "modern woman" will treat you like a chump for doing it but I am a bit old fashioned and I like being paid attention I like someone who pays attention to details and I like a man who knows what it means to be a man a real one not a facsimile of one.

In essence fellas I have standards and rules, rules that I am not willing to break. They aren't hard rules but they do separate the serious from the just came here to play. I am not difficult I am just not willing to let you play with me like I am an object to be toyed with. I have certain standards and expectations that I need met from any man who thinks he wants to toss his hat into the ring for my time and affection. The problem fellas is not my rules its because you're not use to dealing with a woman who isn't going for the crap that you pull. If you want quality and substance you have to be willing to give as good as you get. No one wants to do that because it's far easier to get with the chick that will let you do any and everything and not call you on it. You've become lax and have lost the will to date the right way. Its like always dining on microwaved tv dinners when all you want is a good home cooked meal stop cheating yourselves. Everyone male and female needs to readjust their thinking women as a whole need to set standards if every woman set standards then men would have no choice but to deal with it or procreation would grind to a halt as we know it and I don't think anyone wants that! We need some new ground with dating, a fresh start with how men and women especially black men and women relate to each other, and overall dating needs a face lift ASAP! I know this post was long winded but it was a long time coming but I hope it will give someone pause for the cause or at least open up a dialog between men and women hopefully.


Some Books to check out if you wish:





















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WHEN ITS TIME TO BE YOUR OWN VALENTINES

Often times as women we willingly play the fool in love. We see what we want to see and we except the ugly shit about the men we deal with because erroneously we think that through our love and devotion we can change him and mold him into the type of man who will be our knight in shining armor ladies that shit NEVER works!

If he was a cheater and cheats on you when you guys are supposed to be monogamous with each other (assuming you didn't just assume you and him were exclusive)he will always be a cheater unless he wants to change his behavior, if when you met him and he cheated with you its only a matter of time before he moves onto the next and cheats on you with her, if he is not a father to his kids before you meet him and then you lay down and have kids with him then guess what he's not going to do right by y'all kids either. There is a basic rule that most people don't remember when they are in the midst of a emotionally charged situation, that rule is YOU can not force a person to change their behavior! There is nothing you can say nor do to make a person who doesn't want to change, change. Many people make the mistake of thinking that they can reshape a person's habits but unless that person specifically request for you to help them change and they are open to changing their behaviors the changes won't take effect and you will just be frustrated and upset because the outcome you want will not manifest itself.
Why waste all that time and energy on trying to manipulate another human being?

Another fundamental rule that I state often is NO one can do anything to you without your permission. If you repeatedly let someone lie to you, use you, steal from you, take from you and you don't stop it or remove yourself from said person/and or situation then you are being a willing participant in your own victimization. In life there are exceptions to almost every rule however short of being incapacitated, physically and mentally unable, and just flat out emotionally inept no one should be pulling your strings and making you dance to their rhythm if they are may I suggest you invest in some scissors and cut the strings already, what are you waiting for?

This Valentines day ladies if he isn't making the grade then cut him loose, married, dating, engaged whatever if he is just making you so miserable to where you hate to be in his presence let him go and learn to love yourself a little bit more. Give yourself the gift of self love this valentines day instead of misery its a gift that will keep giving and bring with it the satisfaction of knowing you are finally being treated the way you want to be treated by the person that is most worthy of your love and that is one's self. Read more...

DEAR "TALENTED 10th" STFU ALREADY, THANKS

One of the things that irritate and chaps my hide is the fraction of black folks that have went to college but use their degrees and over inflated sense of knowledge to bash ones who weren't so fortunate to do the same over the head with their education, titles, and inflated self importance. Look I get it you're extremely proud you're one of the talented 10th and that you pulled yourself up by your bootstraps and no one made you but yourself and yada yada yada. That is wonderful but just because you have a piece of paper that states you went to someones college/university for X amount of years doesn't really mean shit in the grand scheme of things. I'm not saying that education is not important quite the opposite knowledge is power but the shitty ass "I'm greater than you attitude" that comes with it needs to be put on a shelf some where.

In my opinion you catch more flies with honey, not vinegar if you are constantly lamenting the fact that you hate every movie that Tyler Perry makes but you love watching Martin you're a hypocrite Martin made money by playing multiple characters two of whom where women so GTFOH with that backwards ass logic. If you went to see Norbit and laughed at every part of that movie again you are a hypocrite and you really need to stop. Where is it written that black people can only move in one lane? Why is it every time something comes out that is classified as "urban" then the black intelligentsia want to protest and march in the streets? Why is it we even have to have this conversation repeatedly? If you don't like something then damnit don't spend your money on it. Just like if there was a movie that came out about some upwardly mobile stick in their asses black people who go to Martha's Vineyard and jet set around the world while looking down on the uneducated masses I wouldn't spend my money to see that because that doesn't interest me at all.

Why is it that white people can make just bullshit movies and no one says a thing. Movies that don't even have a point or make a great deal of sense but many will flock in droves to see it even the black intelligentsia will see the movies and just be in rapture over the crap lauding it as the funniest thing they have ever seen this year, and some of that shit is just awful, retarded and not funny at all. You don't see the Harvard educated white folks protesting the stupid movies their counterparts make, you don't see them blinking an eye nor wasting time speaking on it they roll with the punches and just go with the flow. They don't spend hours and expound massive amounts of energy complaining about dumb movies that their fellow brethren have made it doesn't turn into a big discussion about the merit of film making and the characters used to get a point across.

So why is it that black "urban" literature "urban" movies and "urban" television gets bashed to death by the black intelligentsia? if you don't like it don't support it, further more what are you doing to combat it and change it besides shitting all over it and whining about it? Not everyone sees things in the same way it takes diverse avenues sometimes to get a point across. Besides no one likes to be talked down too nor addressed as if they are children. Everyone has their own perceptions so why bash someone else who is trying to make a living just because you don't agree with it doesn't mean it is not a worthy contribution to the world. You have to have rain in order to appreciate sunshine right? So stop bashing things you don't like use that energy in a constructive manner why not help those you look down upon because not everyone has a set of bootstraps some don't even have boots! Read more...

Ethnic pride may boost African-American teens' mental health

Most adolescents who belong to an ethnic minority group wrestle not only with their self-esteem (like most teens), but also with identity issues unique to their ethnic group, such as dealing with social stigma. A new study tells us that young people's ethnic pride may affect their mental health.

November 13, 2009

SOURCE OF STORY: ORIGINAL ARTICLE

The study, carried out by researchers at Northwestern University, Loyola University Chicago, and Walden University, appears in the November/December 2009 issue of the journal Child Development.

The researchers studied more than 250 African American youths from urban, low-income families in an effort to assess the unique effects of racial identity and self esteem on mental health. They found that when young people's feelings of ethnic pride rose between 7th and 8th grades, their mental health also improved over that period, regardless of their self-esteem. Even for those with low self-esteem, the investigators found, a sense of pride in their ethnic group served as a buffer to some mental health problems. Racial identity was a stronger buffer against symptoms of depression for boys than for girls.

"These findings imply that ethnic pride is important to African American adolescents' mental health for other reasons than it simply makes them feel better about themselves as individuals," according to Jelani Mandara, associate professor of human development and social policy at Northwestern University, who was the study's lead author. "The findings also imply that ethnic pride may be as important as self-esteem to the mental health of African American adolescents. Parents, schools, and therapists should expose young people to material and environments that help foster a sense of ethnic pride."

More information: Child Development, Vol. 80, Issue 6, The Effects of Changes in Racial Identity and Self-Esteem on Changes in African American Adolescents' Mental Health by Mandara, J (Northwestern University), Gaylord-Harden, NK, and Richards, MH (Loyola University Chicago), and Ragsdale, BL (Walden University).

So let me ask you all a question...who didn't know this?I hate the fact that for some black folks it has to be validated by a caucasian before it is believed, I mean really we still have to get a caucasian stamp of approval before you believe something that should be self evident? Am I the only one who was aware of this fact? I been trying to install ethnic pride in my brothers and sisters for years. I have been telling them for years that they are descendants of kings and queens and that they had great lands and they come from a great history full of pride respect and dignity. There were even African pharaohs go look it up its true. It is also a fact that if you instill pride and dignity in your child they will make wiser choices, their self esteem will improve they will do better in all aspects and they will make better decisions concerning their future because they know that their lives are worth something and not just meaningless and bullshit. Or that all they should ever aspire to do is to shake their asses with fake ass wigs and weaves, and glitter embossed bodysuits, or play a sport. That they are more than what the media boils them down to be and that they are far capable of greatness versus idiolizing industry thugs, glorifying rappers, and actors, and wild children with marginal talent but an abundance of personal issues.

Give your children dignity and something to hold their heads up about, cut the tv off, and take them to the library, read to them, listen to them, and protect them for God's sake be a real parent and not just a wack facsimile of what a parent should be! Those of you lucky to have children should consider it an honor not just a biological right. It's more then that and you should treat it as such.

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DIAMOND DATING STANDARDS IN A CUBIC ZIRCONIA WORLD

Dear Men,

Let me explain some things too you because some where along the line you have gotten it twisted and you think its cool to be chumps. The current climate of dating is dog shit, no one is dating, or courting anymore you're not even trying to pronounce my name right before you sending me your dick through the mail and I know these basic bitches are just happy to have a warm male body to latch onto but look a woman with standards and requirements don't just go for any ole bullshit which is what you fellas are coming with these days. So since I keep encountering the same shit over and over how about I break somethings down to you that you should stop doing if you ever want to dip your penis is a woman of quality!

1. Stop whining like a little bitch and stomping off and running away when you are faced with a little opposition and adversity. Anything worth having you have to work for it doesn't just fall in your lap and if it does then be aware because obviously it's something wrong with it.

2. You WILL AND SHOULD have to put in work to earn my affection, time, and effort! There is no easy way to circumvent this rule it is what it is, if you want me to even be seriously considering you in my life then you have to put in the work! That means I need attention to be paid to me, I need consistency, I need you to be honest, and above all I need you to state your real intentions upfront. Bullshit will get you no where but laughed at and discussed when talking to my home girls!

3. I do expect some kind of dating to go on, if you have budget restraints then you need to be hella creative and that has nothing to do with your penis whatsoever! I shouldn't have to come up with the date and then implement it especially when you call yourself pursuing me!

4. I really don't respect men who send me their penis digitally. Once you do that I really lose all my respect for you and p.s. I pass that shit around to the home girls every damn time so...you have been forewarned.

5. Being crazy is not the best way to get me to like you, being overly sensitive and shit will make me think you have emotional issues, and being extra clingy will also have that effect as well. Bottom line you need to be emotionally stable if you not then you should really be alone!

6. I expect for you to be a gentleman, meaning I want some of that old school treatment, treat me like a woman and allow me to treat you like a man. Come to the door with something in your hand not just your hat, actually get out the car and come to the door, open the car door, pull out chairs, open building doors, walk on the outside of me when we on the sidewalk, pay for shit when we go out at least the first time if you treat me like a lady that allows me the option of wanting to actually treat you before you fellas start thinking you will always have to pay. Because quite frankly you don't always have to pay sometimes I might want to just take you out but because I want too and think you're worthy just like you think I'm worthy of being taken out that goes in the other direction as well.

7. If you can't afford to date then don't period.

8. If you act like a king then you can get royal treatment, verses acting like a basic ass chump which will get you no damn where.

9. As a rule I hate phone sex don't ask for it, don't expect it.

10. Time is of the essence I'm in my 30's there are things that I want that if you're not even trying to pursue then we aren't going to work out. I don't like wasting my time on idle pursuits. I even tried dealing with men that I had absolutely no interest in and knew there could be no future with in efforts just to get circulating and get the dating juices flowing but it was an epic and utter fail and a big waste of time. I hate wasting time I do enough of that on my own I don't need you to help me waste my time.

11. 0+0=0 in other words nothing from nothing leaves nothing! If you don't even have a drivers license, no ambition, content to be on general relief, s.s.i., section 8, medi-cade, medi-cal, IEHP, food stamps, welfare, all your life and do enough just to show your social worker you trying so they won't cut your benefits off we don't have nothing to discuss. We really don't I know I don't have what I need to have at my age but I have never been on any social programs and if you're a grown ass man on that shit and you think you getting over we have nothing to discuss what so ever. Please don't even try and set your attention in my direction.

12. You got more than one baby momma, look I have no kids and as a person without kids who would like to have some, some day (Lord willing) I really don't want to be with a dude who has already had his share of kids and he's already finished. That shit is unfair on both sides. I can't help if you already started having kids with various women and now you done, that's on you not me. If you would have invested in condoms and been wiser about procreating then you wouldn't have that problem and I wouldn't have to shut you down before you even got in good yet.

13. Ambition, intelligence, creativity, culture, new experiences, these are some qualities that every man worth his salt should have. Take me out and expose me to new things, lets go to the museums, plays, musicals, ballets, opera's, concerts, street fairs, farmers markets, cultural fairs, lets discover new things to do in the city, be involved in your community.

14. Please don't ask me anything sexual in our first 5 conversations, matter of fact why we even gotta discuss sex before we even know if we want to deal with each other on a personal level. Why does the conversation always have to immediately go in the direction of sex, why we gotta discuss oral, and favorite positions, and past experiences, why I gotta stress that I'm celibate and then once you hear that you start talking about how great your dick game is, look dick is a dime a dozen, Its about quality in all aspects not just the damn penis. But again basic dudes not trying to build long term you just want to beat and skeet and then keep it moving. I'm cool off that plan.

15. Men/boys that require multiple do overs look if I have been kind enough to give you more than one chance and you have dropped the ball on every chance then you're in the fringe zone one of those dudes that stay on the fringe that I don't take serious because you never got your shit together concerning your intentions with me, so enjoy the fringe because that's where you'll be always.

16. You must have self confidence in yourself if you don't like yourself how am I supposed to like you? What is there to be attracted too if you always down on yourself? That is a huge turn off HUGE.

17. I am not bougie, I am not a gold digger, but do I like nice things? Yes. Do I expect for you to be able to do the things I am accustomed to doing and be able to do that times 2, yes. Let me explain, If I can get it for myself then you should be able to get it as well with a little bit extra. So If I am able to go to cheesecake factory and spend 50 dollars then if we go like on a date you should be capable of doing that and more. If I can go to M.A.C. and buy a lipglass, a lip liner, and an eyeshadow, you should be able to buy that plus a couple of brushes, and a make-up bag. These are examples I'm not demanding these things but YOU should be able to do them. I am at a certain level, I do certain things I am not going backwards. I wouldn't ask a male that is accustomed to wearing Issey Miyake to start wearing axe body spray that's backwards. If a male is accustomed to eating at Ruth Chris steak house I wouldn't expect for him to dine at Denny's that's going backwards. Do you see where I'm going with this? Men please stop thinking that because women are used to certain things that she is a gold digger. That's a break dudes way of being cheap always talking about she after your paper, negro please you have to have some paper to be after first! Dating is a pricey activity in order for me to even want to spend time with you I have to be seriously interested in you, so that should be taken into consideration when you ask any woman out.

18. If you're a grown ass man above the age of 30 I should never ever ever see your draws. If you're wearing tennis shoes they shouldn't be dirty, dingy, and disgusting. Your should put your best foot forward because when I step out with you I am going to bring my A game YOU should do the same. It's embarrassing stepping out with a dude who looks like he just stepped off the set of a rap video but you was the break ass extra. That's not haute boo, not at all.

19. Stop lying about your financial situation the truth will always come to light and you will be embarrassed especially when you trying to scramble and save face. I won't say anything unless its warranted but I will notice it. Especially if I have to bail you out because you tried to play big bank hank it will quickly become an issue which will lead to the date ending shortly after.

20. I don't kiss everyone kissing like everything else has to be earned. You have to have been just a mind blowing type dude to earn a kiss. Kissing is an art form a rare one that people don't practice anymore. It is also a very intimate act one that I don't take lightly. If I'm just this way about kissing then you can imagine my rules and principals on sex and sexual activities.

I know that in this day and age it is very rare to find someone who knows how to date properly who even wants to spend time actually getting to know a person before they are trying to bed you but you fellas aren't even finessing it anymore you're very crass, rude and just uncouth. Why would I take any of you seriously when you act like such clowns and chumps? Why do I have to train you in the way you should treat a women? Don't you have mothers and sisters? Where are your manners? Understand me when I say that I'm not after any ones money. Integrity, ingenuity, intelligence, sincerity, and attitude go a long way to cover what is lacking in your pockets. But when you are an ignorant chump with no class there is no way to even cover up nor make up for the basic personality traits you are lacking. I am willing to work with a dude that has potential to actually be something not just a dude that stops at potential. Its a lot of men walking around with nothing but just potential and it never manifest into anything more than that.

I know if you reading this you like damn she got a lot of requirements and that's why she single now, you're right I have a lot or requirements, I have standards, I have things that I want a potential suitor to have. There is a certain way I want men in pursuit of me to act. I am past the age of playing around its either you will or you won't at this phase of the game. I'm playing for keeps not just playing to play so the stakes are higher and the pot is bigger.

I know you sitting there thinking damn is she even worth all this trouble and what dude is going to follow these rules and stipulations she putting forth when a dude can just simply go mess with the chicken head down the block who will let him treat her any old kind of way but there has to be a small fraction of men out there that are searching hungering for quality I am banking on those men its a long shot but nothing ventured nothing gained right? These shouldn't just be my personal standards alone this should be the universal women of worth standards. I am a diamond in the rough that is willing to work with a male diamond in the rough we can become full fledged diamonds together however I am over dealing with plain ole regular dirt rocks pretending to be lumps of coal! If you want to deal with me this is what you have to contend with. You have a choice we all have choices its about making wise choices from here on out and that ladies and gents is what I'm about 100%. So farewell chumps of the world I am no longer entertaining you and letting you waste my time. It will soon be a new year and I'm off the old and already on that 2010 so catch up and get right or get left! Read more...

WHERE ARE THEY NOW; THE MISSING MUSICIAN EDITION

I was thinking about some of the singers that made a blip on the map and then just as quickly as they came they disappeared. You know it takes more than just having talent to sing you have to have a work ethic, plus a drive to want it, and a willingness to do it by whatever means, and let us not forget you need a management team that will saturate the market and be about getting you out there to the masses ad nauseum plus it kind of works against you when your record company folds, or your group disbands, or you simply just didn't have what it took to make a lasting musical impression, but everyone that gets a music deal will simply not go on to become music legends you have to know your product, and if you are your product then you have to know if you are long term or fly by night. Some people making music now guaranteed won't be making music still in 2012 you won't even remember them unless you come across their video on youtube if that site is even still around in 2012. The music game is a cold hard mistress and she will love and leave that ass in a heartbeat just ask any musician who has been in the trenches for awhile. People are all starry-eyed and naive when it comes to making music and those who don't have a head for business while making sure that they protect themselves while in the music biz they will get done by the music industry and they will be left bitter and broken disillusioned and angry. The music biz is paved on the backs of one hit wonders and acts that never got out of the starting block.

Lets go through some of the people that the music biz has left behind in its tracks:

Dear Monifah where are you? Have you found the Lord, did you get married and push out babies? Where did you go come back home we miss you!


Dear Gina Thompson are you some where selling ass? Cracked out? Bitter and trying to stab puff pastry in the club if you see him? What you should do is stand outside of Bad Boy's new york office with a sign and a cup begging for spare change with a sign that says "I used to be on bad boy records this is your future!"




Dear Tweet you should have capitalized on the name twitter its too late now sucks, I bought both your albums...are you still over there singing back up and waiting for your big next wave of interest to many years have passed I hope you got some kind of knowledge or at least a deal working for someone that will allow you to put food on the table but as long as Missy let you carry her hats with hair attached to them you shall never go hungry.





Dear Truth Hurts, I always thought your jawbone was extra strong is that from using it excessively? Your album sucked donkey balls when I bought that shit it just pretty much summed up my day from there, that day will forever be marred in my mind by bad memories I don't even remember the dude I was with that day but he was a fail and my mind is blocking the memory thank God your album was like a bad cheeseburger the only thing that saved my day was a burger king burger that is the only bright spot I remember. I hope you at least got some section 8 housing because I remember you were trying to get your sister out of the foster care system. BTW the Indian video and beat you jacked for this song was hotter than what you tried to do here but I understand when you in a hurry to hit the music scene and make you a quick buck anything will do you should have tried a pyramid scheme like mona-vee but on the upside you made winding your body hot so big ups for that.



Dear NLT that is managed by Marcus Houston and Chris St(p)okes you might want to rethink your whole approach basically you sound way to R&B'ish but you're just coming off zesty all those intense faces you're making in the video makes my bowels lock up and its just not a good look. This is your 2nd single and...yea who really knows you? Your fan base is still small and you are in danger of being exploited and/whored by the marketing team of TUG and then what? Will it porn for you as well? Think about it, where's B2K, even Omarion you need to look at these peoples track record don't say I didn't try and warn you...



Dear Soul For Real I know that you have recently all been locked up with the exception of one of y'all that's sad. I know its hard to bounce back from having a little success and now being broke and doing credit fraud no one ever gives the artist a "what to do when you don't quite break out and be a successful act like they promised you act", don't worry Monifah is pissed off too maybe in jail you will come up with ways to still be relevant please don't drop the soap, watch each others back.



Dear Bilal I was digging you, are you some where wondering around under a bridge singing melodies only you can hear? Did you smoke up all your advancement money? Oh brother where art thou? OR are you hiding out some where because you believed your own hype turned into some sort of afrocentric love guru and tried to start your own tribe by knocking up all the "soul sistas" you could find hyping them by telling them you were going to start a cultural revolution, told them they should hold you down but you turned out to be some ole jive ass cultural pimp who is in turn a deadbeat daddy with leagues of children you don't take care of and now you some where living off a YT women who "believes" in you. You always did give me that sort of vibe I hope it hasn't come down for you like that but if it has damn shame on you. (UPDATE) Dear Bilal I now understand why you sat the fuck down from being on the music scene you can't sing worth shit. I can verify this because you were the one snag in the wonderful night that was the maxwell concert, you raped my soul with your damn caterwauling You have been found out and I'm spreading the word gone and go back to doing whatever else you were doing and shit besides singing because singing is not your calling!



Dear Subway you should have trademarked your name and inked a deal to sing all of subway sandwiches commercials you could have been filthy rich by now, instead you some where sitting in a subway bitter as hell or either you living with Michael Bivins in his who's who has been mansion for wayward used up talent aka the Biv 10 artist.



Dear Allure...Le-sigh I can't, I hope you ladies managed to find ballers, or got married or at least got a baby daddy check coming in.



Dear Next is it true you all fell out because of super head? Now you all sitting at the house sad and shit, you weren't without talent now look at you. Le-sigh Bro's before Hoes next time!



Dear Isyss, I liked this song, never bought an album though, and probably won't buy one but thanks for this song.



Hey Jesse Powell what you doing where you at? I really loved the song You, after that you just kind of fell off what happened? Did they try and fuck you over your contract? Where you not sexy enough to make it mainstream? I mean you a little shorty with a bird chest but you could sing your ass off I wouldn't fuck you but you could sing to me on a regular basis and I would feed you and slide you some snack cakes so you could get your weight up a little bit. I'm just saying but thanks for this lovely song that will forever live in our memories.



Uncle Sam hey where are you? Are you bitter and mad at the industry and shit like everyone else that used to sing and got dropped after they did a couple singles? I mean I liked your song but maybe you better off where ever you are right now. I mean you did really look like someones uncle so I mean are you running a daycare, or maybe an after school program helping the wayward kids and shit out in your neighborhood now perhaps you are providing music lessons and shit. Did you move to Iceland? What's good withcu uncle sam if you google yourself and see this post hollar at me leave me a comment because I really am interested in what your doing now a days.



Hey Az Yet, damn Laface records fucked up everybody hope y'all made a little change cause ummm yea this was the jam but damn where did y'all go? I hope y'all writing songs are at least working in somebody mail room...Do y'all still talk to babyface cause he ain't really putting out no music either maybe y'all can hook up and do like a traveling music show and put on a Laface revival musical it could be great get Toni B in there and just make it a well rounded show I'd go see it maybe if y'all give me like some comp tickets since I did come up with this brilliant little idea for y'all it's the least y'all could do.



Hey guys from Shai where y'all at and shit I mean I know Garfield was at cal state northridge taking classes and what not but what else y'all doing? What happened to your flannel outfits and baggy jeans do you still have them outfits? Do you ever take em out the closet and just be like damn I used to sing what happened? Is Garfield the only one that went and got a degree? Lawd how many of y'all had a crush on Garfield? light skinned dudes had a good run didn't they!!! (LOL)





I think you get the gist of where I'm going with this but if y'all see an old musical act or have any info on them leave it in the comment section cause I care about these people in my own way and I just want to make sure that they alright and not singing up under the freeway or worst. Hell if the girl from family matters can get her 5 minutes of fame back then let these one hit wonders be great as well. I'm just saying let's remember them in their short lived glory hey day and keep your eyes peeled you never know who might be working at your local walmart and shit. Read more...

IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS AND THE JOY THEY BRING

It occurred to me that I often share the bad but not often the good, now my life is not as colorful as some but simple things delight me like finding a free standing M.A.C store in my local mall suddenly the mall just became a whole lot cooler again.

Spending time with my family especially my nieces and nephews who are such crazy fun awesome kids they amaze me with the things they do and say. Then there is my love of doing arts and crafts, painting anything that is paint-able and something as simple as finding a really cute pair of jeans, or getting my hair done or my feet and nails done. These are the little nuggets of richness in my life the mundane everyday ordinary things that are delightful.

Hearing a new song that has to be put on repeat until I am absolutely tired of it, trips to the 24/7 walmart, scented candles, warm comforters, cute shoes, black and white movies, anime cartoon and movies, writing, karaoke, online shopping.

Hobo bags, leggings, warm boots, concerts, having a girls night out, trips to Vegas, being told you're sexy,cute,pretty, etc ego boosters, personalized jewelry, going to the movies sparingly because they are so high its better to just buy the dvd now, doing a good deed, treating someone to something when you have the resources, shopping for my niece, listening to her chatter, playing with her.

New ink, being inspired to get new ink, a favorite tattoo, smelling good, a trusty ipod whatever generation, fuzzy sweaters, funky colored heels, a signature scent, HULU, waking up in my right mind, oatmeal with brown sugar, warm slippers, comfy bedclothes, putting on makeup, taking makeup off and just unwinding after a night out, watching my brothers grow up, new sneakers, leopard print anything, making my family laugh, cooking a good meal, hot tea with honey, spending the holidays with family.

Anyways just some of the little things that bring me joy... Read more...

THE EATING OF INNOCENCE; CHECK YOUR APPETITE

"Nothing Is Private" Genre: Drama Release: 2008 December Rtg: 8.5/10 (451 votes)

The above movie is about the very subject I am speaking on...to me it was a heartbreaking and disturbing movie to say the least watch it at your own risk.


Do you know where your daughter, cousin, niece, sister, child is right this moment? Right now someones little girl or teenage daughter is being forced, coerced, rapped, or seduced into having sex with someone twice her age. She is being taken advantage of and her innocence is being stolen and her body is being violated. She is being put into a position (no pun intended) that she shouldn't have to be in because some sick ass older man with fucked up brain chemistry is willingly and sadistically taking the very best of her at this moment because he thinks it is his right to do so. Some where innocence is being devoured and my heart breaks for these not yet fully grown nor fully developed young girls/teenagers that are being put in a position they shouldn't be put in. Just because someone has an appetite for their youth its disgusting and sad.

Pedophiles... as of late they have been catching pedophiles but its taking them years to catch these dudes. Shit is sad and sick what's more disturbing is the more notoriety and money these pedophiles have then it's like well they are just disturbed geniuses who need help not jail.

In a male dominated society children and women are eaten alive and their spirits and bones are spat out by the masses. Case in point both Polanski and Robert Kelly have committed crimes with little girls teenagers at best but not grown ass women. But every time anyone says anything about the girls that were involved with these men they always say: "those little girls were consenting, they knew what they were doing and that the girls wanted it, that they were working their bodies like grown ass women, and Polanski has Maintained the girl was sexually experienced and had consented!

Excuse me if I'm wrong but the last time I checked even if a teenager was "experienced" she is still a teenager the only time teenage girls get turned it is at the hands of men that take her developing body and lust after it and seduce this young girl into thinking she a woman because her ass and titties have yet to match up with her IQ therefore she is gullible and misguided. Most often she is lacking a daddy figure in her life so any man showing her some attention and affection will quickly gain her trust and he can have her doing any and everything. Especially if the dude is throwing a little money at her, buying her things, taking her places showing just a little bit of interest in her then yes that teenage girl will do anything in her power to please that boy/older man.

Teen age girls don't just get up in the morning and go hmmm who shall I fuck today if she does then some where along the line she has been failed by the adults in her life. Show me any young wild hot teenage girl and I will show you a lack of parental guidance, a lack of structure, possibly even a history of neglect and abuse in the girls life. Bottom line stop blaming teenage girls for the lack of judgment and mental stability of grown ass men. Stop blaming the victim even if these girls are way to grown for their ages, know way to much about sex then they should, it used to take a village to raise a child but modern day societies have burned down those villages now a days parents don't want help they think people are intruding in their business if they offer help or advise. I think its sad when you see young girls sexing away their youth, wearing out their vagina walls before they even know how to properly wash their asses.

there is nothing cute about a too grown oversexed teenage girl its tragic and far to often it happens in neighborhoods across the world. The value of a young girls innocence has long been sold to the highest bidder and the world looks on in passive aggressive fashion as her silent tears are ignored and her soul is replaced with darkness and she is left to fend for herself in the divide between not grown and too grown...

Roman Polanski Arrested for sex with 13yr old in the 1970's:
read article here Read more...

CARDINAL RULES, BECAUSE I NEED A REMINDER

Sometimes I need a reminders of the things I already know its like pulling out a familiar check list and going over it every once and awhile to make sure your still on course and in line with the things on that list. As we get older some of the things on the list become more important than others so essentially it is a good thing to pull the list out and check it over every once and again.

• When someone shows you who they are believe them! This is such an important cardinal rule how many times have we overlooked something we have seen in a person's character that was a huge warning sign but we kept on dealing with the person because we felt like the good out weighed the bad? You can not change anyone but yourself and you would be a fool to think or try and do otherwise.
• Listen to what men say. How often have we ignored the little things that men have said, because we were focused on what WE wanted. Then when the end results don't turn out as we wanted them too we feel lied to and deceived? LISTEN to what a man says he is telling you all that you will ever need to know, even if his actions directly contradict what he is saying.
• When a man is already in a " domestic situation" whether it be marriage, or shacking up. He will not leave his woman to be with you even if you break him off some cookie. Of course he will sell you any pipe dream you want to hear while he is beating and skeeting you but after all that is over and his dick is out of you he will forget everything he said. NOW on the off chance that this man does leave his "situation" for you and you were the direct cause of his break-up then prepare to be kicked in the ass by universal law which is a fundamental cardinal rule as well...What comes around goes around! If he left her for you what makes you so special that he won't leave you?
• Sex doesn't keep a man! I'll write that one again sex doesn't keep a man if it did then there would be more couples still together less divorces and more two parent households!
• Men deal in loopholes, meaning they will phrase things to their benefit in order to get what they want be careful of word traps.
  
• Homegirl/wifey/boo is another way to give you a false sense of ownership to something you don't officially have again word trap. If you don't have an official capacity in a dudes life you are a filler, basically a chick who that has potential to fill an opening when he gets one in his life but in the meantime he will keep you around until said position becomes open or until he can talk you into fucking him whichever comes first.
• Men are essentially unstable creatures, dramatic, possessive and not in touch with their feelings. Much of what they say is nonsense listen enough to get the information that you need to glean from them what they are trying to get from you once you get that then act accordingly. For example, My girl <<<>>>(the nonsense to ignore) and me aren't getting along, but that's neither here nor there I still want to give you pleasure I can make you feel really good.
• Never bother to invest emotionally in someone who can't do the same for you. Turn the emotional spigot off! I don't buy into that "I fell helplessly in love with him and now I can't let him go" crap. If you guard your heart which one is supposed to do then there is no way someone can get under your skin, and into your psyche unless you let them in.
• MAKE Them work for it! Stop just giving away all your power, emotional, sexual, and mental. IF you hand it up on a silver platter than what does he have to work for?
• Anything worth having is worth working for. If it's too easy its suspect, that just goes without saying across the board.
• Know your worth that way you won't fall for nor accept just any old bullshit. Value you first and everyone else 2nd.
• Yes cheating is still wrong even though the world and everyone in it will try and convince you its not, I don't care who does the cheating wrong is wrong. Nothing justifies cheating even though people will always rationalize it
  

Read more...

SWEETER THAN HONEY, MARY B. MORRISON

IMAGES COURTESY OF AMAZON.COM

Okay so I have a membership at BLACK EXPRESSIONS BOOK CLUB check it out its a great site anyway the point of this blog is to talk about the series by Mary B. Morrison the Honey series. When I started this series I didn't expect to be a little intrigued, a little disgusted, and drawn in by the characters in this series. But as I read this book I can't help but reflect on the choices that the characters make. Of course all the things the characters have been through shape their choices and their life situations but I still can't help but wonder why some women make the choice to accept men into their lives that don't give a shit about them and these women will give their all, their whole being over to this man like he is their god. It makes me shake my head and wonder truly about the make-up of the average woman.

Why do women accept, abuse, cheating, lying, neglect is it because the average woman doesn't know her worth is it because she is afraid to be alone? Is it because she doesn't think she is worthy of the best so she settles for whatever comes her way? Honestly I think I have a low opinion of the human species in general I'm disgusted with the way things are, the way people treat each other the way we interact with one another the way we don't give our loved ones roses until they are dead. Society has gotten so warped and in the process I've become warped with it bent, twisted and shattered and more than a little jaded like the characters in this series if you get a chance to check out the books then leave your comment on what you think. It would be interesting to hear what you guys think of this series. Males and females of course this would make for a wonderful book club discussion I promise it will get heated. Read more...

BLACK WOMEN 0 - WORLD 1000+

So this statistic that dogs my heels, the one that says Marriage eludes high-achieving black women, that if you're over 30 black single educated hell even with no college degree after 30 if you want kids and a hubby you sitting at the top of that slope that leads to no marriage-ville its not in the cards for you because black men "outmarry" that is my new favorite word and because black women are considered in this society aesthetically undesirable compared to other races so not all other race men are even that interested in black women you have a few that get down with the swirl but by and large black women are largely ignored by and large. So we get to sit on the shelf and grow old and dusty as women from other races get snapped up time and time again.

I am so very tired of society as a whole shitting on black women, I am tired of being overlooked because I'm not light enough, not European/Asian/mixed or "exotic" looking enough to be deemed worthy of value in this society and in the eyes of men. The whole world has been mindfucked into thinking that you have to look a certain way and have a certain look in order for you to be considered desirable and if you don't think it's true look at all the chicks that sing, act, or walk the red carpet on the arms of men with money. I have resigned myself to the fact that realistically I won't be getting married, nor having children because I don't want to be a single mother struggling on my own to raise a child that I didn't make by myself. Unless I get a sudden huge amount of cash to fall in my lap then I might consider going the turkey baster route and picking out some designer sperm like the rest of hollyweird and the affluent but I digress. I don't even think I have anything else to give emotionally behind this topic I'm numb to it. I don't feel anything now I just feel like my thoughts on marriage/love/relationships have been validated time and time again and the chaces for black women are nonexistent when it comes to the love department and will continue to be so as the years progress. All the smart, well educated, talented 10th black women will die leaving no legacy to pass down to their children because they won't have any what a joyous world we live in (sarcasm). We have come so far but lost much and I am writing to the dark cause y'all don't hear me though....

READ THE DEPRESSING ARTICLE IN ITS ENTIRETY HERE Read more...

NO BOO THIS IS ALL ABOUT YOU

I wrote this particualr blog awhile back, its one of those blogs that speaks on a timeless subject. As long as we have male and female interaction there will always be the need for this subject matter. I think women are called the weaker sex for a reason, no matter how many advances get made in this society a woman's nature is not changed that much. It will never change we are designed a specific way. But I don't believe we have to be stupid in the pursuit of male companionship. Just being a little wiser and learning from your mistakes as well as the mistakes of others can save you from getting wrapped up in and caught up in dumb situations time and time again. Ladies its time to sharpen the mind, protect and guard the body and heart, and stop throwing your pearls before swine. Swine don't appreciate pearls they can only appreciate slop, think about it!

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, time and time again I try and help you all out. I try and give you the game so that you can see that these ninja's ain't coming with nothing but lies and half-truths. ALL IT IS, IS GAME FOR YOUR BLUETOOTH! I know that I might be preaching to the choir here and some of you might be tired of me beating a dead horse but fuck what must I do to help my sistas out? What must I do to show you that these ninja's in the street are just looking for a hole to stick their dicks in and they will try and accomplish that by any means necessary. Maybe I am not breaking it down clear enough for you maybe I have not defined what by any means necessary means, maybe I am not saying it in a way that you can comprehend it. Let's see, I have given you examples, I have shared the bullshit I have encountered, I have stood on my platform repeatedly and soap-boxed myself to death. It's not cute, its not sexy, its not original, and it certainly is trifling after awhile ladies, if you still getting caught up in some of these same damn mantraps, mistakes, and fuck ups, then guess what IT'S YOU!

Some shit is sense, some is trial and error, and some is just intuition there is no way in the world a woman who is in touch with her own mind should still be falling for some of the same shit over and over again! That's like seeing a sign that says don't drink me and you drink it. I guess it is human nature to want to touch fire because you can't just believe it will burn you, then when it does burn you, you have the nerve to get mad at the fire! Backwards. as. hell!

So okay ladies I'm going to point out somethings you shouldn't be doing and if you are doing these things then I don't want to hear shit about you complaining about the outcome of the shit, you're just going to have to take the L on somethings because you brought them on yourself!

first and foremost the female that lays down with a man who already has more than one baby-momma and winds up pregnant, straight up and down you're a dummy! There is no way to sugarcoat that. Before you lay down with any man you need to know his background, whether he has kids, whether he a deadbeat dad, if he is in the rears for child support,LET ME GIVE YOU A HUGE ASS HINT if he knows how to drive but his license is suspended and its not for DUI's or some other shit then most likely he already in the system for back child support! Which means he ain't paying that shit, but I bet his ass stay geared up, and with beat machines and Mac computers cause everyone is a super producer he getting money under the table and he ain't giving shit if any to his children! And if you fally anywhere in between the 2nd or the 100th baby momma unless he is a millionaire like puff pastry good luck getting anything for your child! Shit Puff Pastry doesn't even claim his other daughter with that Sarah chick he skeeted smh, fucking shame! You need to know whether he has been married, why he isn't married, what happened in his last relationships, is he a cheater, is he a habitual liar, is he a drug addict, know a man at least six months before you sleep with his ass and fuck yes do a background check. In this day and age Google his ass, check out his friends list, hell look at his comments, if you are interested in him like that then unfortunately you have to dig into his past if you want him to be part of your future or you will regret it! No one should walk into anything blindly fuck that and stop getting in the bed with these men before asking about their medical history, no one should be dying from dick. Bottom line know the man you are dealing with before you slide between his sheets and get to calling out his name and doing all the pussy tricks you think will make him stay.

Next if a man is ten years or more older than you, then this man has a pattern he is a step above a pedophile which still makes him a predatory type of man. He preys on women with low self esteem, and who aren't every smart. Now people have different intelligences if yours isn't in a mental way then you are compensated with another type of intelligence you just have to discover what it is, but I digress if every female that this man has ever been with has always been significantly younger than this man that is a dead give away as to his true nature! This type of man needs to be able to manipulate his woman, a woman who won't question him, or put to many demands on him, a female that will keep loose ties on him, and in return he will give her a false sense of security, he will lie to her face while the truth is blatantly starring her down, but because he has her mind, her heart, and body, she will willingly be his fool, time and time again in the hopes that he will make her his wife and that they will live happily ever after, even though more likely than not he is a liar, a cheater, and a user, and a deadbeat. This type of man is a man who knows his victims well, he knows the type of women he can easily manipulate he spots them, he smells them even.

Last but not least cycles, if your family has a history of women without husbands but a bunch of kids then, most likely you will be a victim of the same type of cycle this has become your ghetto legacy. This is what you will give to your children, this is what you have been brought up in and what you know and even if you know this is a destructive path most likely you will still choose it because it is familiar, someone in your life has probably said to you as you were growing up that you were going to end up just like your momma and guess what happens. Never ending cycles are a hard thing to break but if you don't do it then the generations never get saved, nor changed.

I think maybe I should just write a book but if no one reads a blog why would anyone read a book, especially by a woman on the subject of men??? Anyway I'm emotionally spent hope this helps someone pass it around the world save a young woman from herself... Read more...

BROKEN SOUL AGREEMENT

I understand that this was made up as a joke but...some of y'all are totally following these rules lol.

This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2007, by_______________________, between ____________and______________.


THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.

2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.

3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.

4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.

5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The
answer is no, so don't ask.

6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from
out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.

7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.

8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.

9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business.

10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just sex buddies.

11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.

12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.

13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go the fuck home.

14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.

15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's
girlfriend/boyfriend."

17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.

19. No condoms, no fucking. Carry your ass home.

20. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.

21. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.


* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:

The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.


Participating Party

Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________

Participating Party

Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________

In this day and age isn't this what relationships between the opposite sexes has become? I find myself more and more sucker punching a guy with the "If you're looking for sex miss me with that" Deal breaker before he can even get it out of his mouth. I don't want, need, or like casual sex; it makes my skin crawl and my emotions protest. I would rather fly solo then engage in a bedroom romp with some dude I haven't known longer than my current sneaker. It's ridiculous how love has gotten lost in translation and sex has become the ultimate filler for all things remotely relationship like. I envy the people who have been able to wade through all of the broken and trifling individuals in this society to truly find someone who compliments them and who wants nothing but the best for that person in essence a real relationship with another individual that wants you in total not just your sex organs. I am so tired of interviewing frogs in the effort and hope of finding someone who will get me and no I don't believe I need to sleep with every individual that shows me some interest my self esteem is just not that low. Sigh, those who have managed to find a love that shelters their heart I envy you. It is a rare bird true love it's elusive and skittish, it can only be coaxed into the hand with finesse and tenderness not with the crass coochie-cooing of random sex acts that leave one broken, misused, and damaged. Sigh we have a generation of people who are living artificially existing on a diet of lies and polluted perceptions of how life and love should be. My inner-self cries for children who will be brought up to think that love is a dirty word and sex is the replaced it. Love is not the enemy it is the mistreatment of it that is the enemy yes it is a complete and total emotion that can take you as high as heaven or as low as hell but its an emotion that is worth seeking, having, and keeping.

Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it .. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.
~ by The Holy Bible, New International Version Ephesians 5:25-33 ~

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ORIGINA POST DATE:
Saturday April 21, 2007 - 11:58pm Read more...