I AM THE BOULDER IN YOUR PATH, A BLACK WOMAN SPEAKS

Dear World, The Media, Black Men, and all others:

As a black woman I'm tired of the world/media/black men/ constantly disrespecting, stepping on, maligning and disregarding black women! These past couple of days I have tired to tune out the constant cacophony of disheartening and ugly "reports and new statistics" regarding black women (see bottom of post for links) I'm tired of the constant media reports about black women never getting married, about how our median wealth is $5.00, and how we are all dying from either HIV/AIDS or over half of us have herpes. I mean really where are you getting these statistics from? Is it your purpose to paint a picture so bleak for black women that we just lay down and die? Is that the new plan of action media and world that if you paint the picture bleak enough that we will give up on ourselves and circumstances and just quietly fade out of existence until there is no more black women period? Is that what the world finally wants to see the death of black women period? Is that where the world is heading? The death of the black woman, first the assassination of her attributes and character, crushing and killing her soul along with her hope and dreams, and then killing her physically by making sure she has diseases until you have effectively exterminated the backbone the lifeblood of the black race by killing off its very root?

As a black women in my early 30's I don't appreciate the constant messages you are sending regarding my femininity, my worth, my beauty, my everything its like you are one big bird with radar and you are determined to shit on me and every other black women every chance you get. Everything regarding black women who look black in the media is wrong, but let someone that has European features, weaves down her back, light complexion, or be mixed but not have any features remotely related to being African-American then she is an easier pill to swallow treated better than the average black woman who you can readily identify as black, she is seen as exotic and she can do no wrong in the eyes of the world/media/public and she is able to slip through the cracks in society and more readily prosper because she has mass appeal then the average looking black women with the quintessential African-American features.

Every since the black woman has stepped off the slave ship she has been seen as nothing more than a piece of meat, a work mule, an over sexed creature that could be pushed around, raped and forced to bear the children of her master repeatedly, forced to work from sun-up to sun-down, and abused anyway the slave owner and overseer saw fit because he owned her she was property, while black men stood by helplessly watching as his women was used like a toilet by the master while he was powerless to stop it but we persevered because we had too. Now we have widespread abandonment by the very men that mirror our skin color and features they also help in the widespread destruction, tearing down of black women. Black men seem to pride themselves in hurting black women while praising, and lifting up women of other races for their attributes, beauty, sexual nature, and anything else they can think off. While they will have children out of wedlock with a black women they will go and marry a woman of another race and culture leaving yet another single black women household in his wake without regard or forethought.

The very image of the Black women are more often than not disrespected in rap, in movies, in black culture period. Still today every image of a woman especially the black women in a rap video is in something scantily clad, she's oiled up, and she is dancing provocatively and suggestively more often than not she has her ass(ets) on display for the world to see and this is the image of black women that are beamed into millions of homes across America daily. Even with the counterbalance of Oprah, and Michelle Obama, and other prolific and prominent black women whom have never shaken their body in a video, or walked around scantily clothed the ones that make headlines are they ones doing salacious acts, who wear reveling clothing, and just plain do whorish activities they get the media coverage ad nasuam, they are the face that the media portrays over and over again and feeds to the masses for mass and commercial consumption these very women who tear down instead of build up are what the world watches and acknowledges while the women who don't do any of that garbage are ignored and treated like lepers because she hold herself to a higher standard of living. It is ridiculous and it sends a message to the world it says that black women are nothing more than easy, loose, oversexed women who will do anything for attention so feel free to exploit me and treat me as if I am nothing more than a body used for your pleasure.

Why is it that black women are good enough to have children without benefit of wedlock but they aren't good enough to walk down the aisle with? Why is it the legacy of a broken black home is the legacy the generational curse that keeps getting passed down over and over to our children, grandchildren, and their children and beyond? Why is it that black women have stayed at the bottom of the collective totem pole why all other race of women has been regulated to the top? Why are black women treated more like the common cold instead of the precious, strong, and beautiful creature she really is? Why is it black women have to bear the brunt of societies callous nature while every other woman is put on a pedestal and black women are her collective stepping stone? When did my color begin to strip me of my humanity in societies eyes?

I'm just flat out sick and tired of it, if black women are completely wiped out that means there will be no more black men because there will be no black sons, no black daughters. There will be a whole race gone exterminated the way the media/public keeps bashing and treating black women I feel like its a hit out on my very sanity and peace of mind. Everything the media reports about a black woman has just been nothing but bad news. If you aren't part of the solution then that makes you part of the problem. Instead of being quick to run down what's wrong with black women I don't see anyone major trying to fix what's broken. Where are the resources, and the aid for black women since we so bad off? Where are the health programs, and the financial counseling services, hell where are the jobs that pay a living wage at, the benefits the help for single black women and single black mothers, where are the single black women groups that aren't about sex but about positive interaction with black men and women and fostering dialects and solutions to what plagues the black community and the black household? Where is the hope in all this damned darkness the media would have us believe?

As I understand it because I am a black woman I am considered too strong, too this or too that, I can't get credit figuratively for shit, and I damn sure can't get any help. I don't appreciate it I don't subscribe to your image of the black woman and I would like the media/the world/and black men to know you won't ever be able to kill MY soul, you won't ever be able to strip me of my femininity and you will never make me believe the ill conceived lies you feed the masses about black women. If I am the last black woman standing by myself I will not bend and I damn sure won't break because it takes more than bullshit to keep a strong black woman down, and as long as I have breath in my body I will make it my business to push against the lies and propaganda that the media/world would have me and others believing about black women. I am not the pebble in your shoe I am the boulder in your way, and I will not fade quietly into the night without a fight. I am angry and I am justified in my anger and now I promise to redouble my efforts. Get ready for the fight of your life.

Signed the black woman you have successfully pissed on and pissed off for the last time.

STUDY FINDS MEDIAN WEALTH FOR BLACK WOMEN AT $5.00

NEARLY HALF OF BLACK WOMEN HAVE HERPES Read more...

THAT SMELL IS DELICIOUS....NOT!

My Lord, My Lord this has been a long week. It has dragged like a queen getting ready for a show...pow. Anyway I saw this commercial and it deleted my soul just a wee bit so since it deleted my soul I gotta spread the wealth. There are several parts in this commercial that just do me in, first one is the butt odor and the green stink graphic. The 2nd highlight of the video is when ole girl has her legs crossed and she ever so gently sprays her lady business. I just...when I saw that I was stuck on pause like literally frozen in some kind of awkward awe. Because having a million commercials about feminine odor and itch aren't enough you have to illustrate the point with your funk begone spray and the deliberate spray to the lady zone. Me thinks instead of trying to spray it down with this little spray you might just wanna wash that Kat, no? I promise you if I see you whip this spray out and commence to handle your biz in public I will stare and I promise to twitpic you, you have been warned! I need a hero, to save my soul from this kind of inventive marketing are there any volunteers? Otherwise Get you some, embrace it and breathe it all in. You smell that? That's the smell of your soul cooking mixed with this new invention!

Read more...

YOU'RE FIRED!

I've never gone into the specifics for what happened to me when I was working for one of the biggest medical facilities in southern California. I really had thought that my life had finally taken a turn for the better and that finally God had smiled on me and heard my prayers. Everything was just falling right in line I had even bought my first car off the lot by myself. I was coasting on the fumes of success when bam, I got thrown headfirst into the wall of dashed hopes and dreams.

I was in my third month and I was coming in to train in one of the more problematic departments I remember I got there and put my lunch that I had just purchased from the grocery store in the fridge in one of the common eating areas for the employees. Then I reported to my station when one of the secretaries tells me that HR had called down and I was to report upstairs immediately now if you know like I know anytime they tell you to report upstairs immediately before you can even log in it means trouble. So I get on the elevator and go upstairs and the door to HR is wide open and there is the main HR lady and then her flunky the main HR lady tells me to come in and sit down and then she ask me if I had already signed my union card, I tell her no and she breathed a huge sign of relief then she tells me she needs my ID card and my parking access card which were both hanging around my neck. Then she tells me that she is letting me go.

The whole time I am trying to come up with why I am getting fired when everyone that has trained me up until the present point said I was a quick learner and that I was efficient in my job and that they had heard good things about me. Furthermore I was never written up, never reprimanded, never given a warning, no evaluation of performance NOTHING! And to top it all off the supervisor over my department wasn't even stationed on the medical campus that I was working on. I had called her, paged her several times asking her when I was going to get my access code so that I could use my DAR and check patients in but I never got an answer, needless to say anything else from her. So as I'm sitting there with my face cracked and my mind scrambling grasping for answers I manage to stammer out well what did I do? The HR lady was exasperated at this point she was like well when we hired you we told you that we had the highest expectations of Customer Service and you failed to meet that, I was like okay is there a specific incident that you can give me, at this point she just wants me to leave she then says well I don't have to give you specifics you just failed to meet our standards. At this point I am still frozen and in disbelief, fired for no damned concrete reason I look from the HR lady to her flunky and her flunky is clearly the bouncer if I get out of hand or emotional.

They are both looking at me like bitch will you please leave, so I take my final check sign my exit paperwork and talk that long walk of shame out to the parking lot which I have to find a fucking guard to let me out of because they have taken my parking pass. As soon as I drive out the parking lot I call my mother and just burst into tears, her first response was well what did you do? I was like I don't know they didn't give me a specific incident or anything they just said I failed to meet their high expectation of customer service. I was in a panic because I had just gotten a car and of course a car note. I didn't have any other job prospects lined up because I didn't even know I was on my way out and I had left a job to take this dream position so I thought.

To compound matters I called around to see if I could apply at a different location but because I had been fired I was banned from ever applying at the company again! WTF, I don't even know why I was fired in the first place, but not to be able to ever apply to the same company again ever in life what the hell. I even tried to see my employee file to see if there was something in there about that would explain why I was fired, and I ordered it from the record department I set up an appointment to review my record, and I got there and waited for two hours just so the lady that was in possession of my record could tell me she possibly had misplaced it, or shredded it and she would have to send for it again, then she asked me why I wanted to see it. I told her I simply wanted closure I wanted to know why I was fired specifically, and why I could never again apply to the hospital again. She was trying to softball me and say well maybe it was just a case of over hire I was like yea I don't think so. She said she would order my employee file again and call me when she had it. She ended up calling me later that evening and telling me that because I was no longer employed with the hospital that I wasn't allowed to see the records because they were now company property and that I since I no longer worked for them then I wasn't allowed to see the records.

That was four years ago which if you think about it wasn't a long time ago I was almost there, to the top of that hill of adulthood when the rug was pulled out from under my feet and I still haven't managed to recover. I was almost there I could have tasted it, I was going to build a foundation I was going to finally be able to feel like a real adult. Sigh, this must be how people end up living on the streets it really just takes one day to be knocked on your ass and have your whole world turned upside down with no regard for your well being. But shrugs no one in this lifetime gives a shit, its a dog eat dog world. Read more...

AMERICAN VIOLET GO SEE IT

There is no doubt in my mind that there is a war that is raged in the streets everyday. You can call it whatever you like the principles never change. It's the government vs. the common man, its the police vs. the common man, in 95% of these cases the war is being waged against the poor. When you are poor you are basically seen as cattle, something that can be branded, corralled, herded up, sold off, taken to the meat packing district and slathered to be packaged and sold. Your destiny is not your own when you are a cow you will become steak or hamburger. When you have no power the world glories in pounding that into your head day in and day out. I can see why folks who feel hopeless turn to living outside the law. When the world is determined to stomp you down and grind you into dust why even give a shit about the world and the people in it... Many will say that is victim mentally.

They will say well you had choices, if no one ever shows you or tells you about your "choices" how will you know you have any? IF all you ever see is dealing drugs, violence, sex, poverty, etc. and no one ever shows you anything else but the underbelly of life wouldn't your conclusion be that that is how life is. Wouldn't you then simply go along with what you know? Perception is reality if you perceive life to be this hard struggle with no bright side then it shall be as such. It is very hard to escape the vicious cycle of poverty.

I digress I am going off on a tangent when my specific purpose was to tell you to get out and go see the movie AMERICAN VIOLET it is based on a series of true events that actually happened to a single mother of four down in a rural impoverished section of Texas. Where the good ole boys still glory in having guns, all the power, and railroading poor black folks. She the woman the movie is based upon Regina Kelly was not a drug dealer, she had never sold drugs, the only thing she was guilty of was being poor, black, a single mother, and living in the projects, the projects is another way of saying holding pen for cattle, cattle would be poor minorities!

The tone of this movie is unbelievable just watching the trailer and reading the real victims website fired my blood up. Of course this film is a limited release film. You have to search it out in your cities but it is well worth searching for. No one fights for black people we don't even advocate for ourselves. We even automatically assume when we see someone pulled over for something and it is a person of color we assume that they automatically did whatever they are accused of doing no questions asked. I know for myself I always hold my breath when I drive by someone that has gotten pulled over and I don't let out that breath until I see that it isn't a person of color. I seem to breathe a bit easier when the skin of the person pulled over is not black, I'm sure its written into my DNA to act that way. Sadly in this country often times then not you are guilty before proven innocent, and even then if the peoples court of opinion says you did it then you are forever branded as a criminal in the minds of the general public. I digress again this is what it is folks this country is ass backwards still and just because Obama is in office it does not mean you can shirk your duties as a citizen of humanity.

My sentiment is charity starts at home I can't care deeply about anyone else's problems when the problems around me are deep and varied. I can't advocate to change a third world country when I live in the united states and the poor and disenfranchised is being railroaded every other day. I can't fix something I don't see every day on another continent, when there is a war on black people right here in Amerikkka. Call me what you want, but I speak the truth. Everyday there is a different minority getting sentenced and locked up in jail, being branded a felon over bullshit. Having their future and rights stripped away, having their livelihood forever challenged because no wants to hire a felon once they get out. Some states don't let felons vote, apply for school loans, get medicare or medicaid, if you set the rules of the game so that everyone who gambles and plays it loses and loses big whats the incentive to even invest in a country that eats its natives?

I get so fired up about about this kind of stuff if it didn't take massive amounts of school loans to go to law school I might have been a lawyer, at the very least an advocate for justice but I do what I can from my little soapbox a tiny voice being drowned out by the surrounding noise. Anyway Go see the movie, its worth your while trust me.

AMERICAN VIOLET
REGINA KELLY the woman the movie is based on check out her page, take a look at her face and the faces of her children breath in her circumstances and dare to tell me you aren't fired up, and fed up? If this one lone black single mother can fight for herself against injustices heaped upon her by the unjust system then why can't YOU at least take your ass to see the movie? What else you doing this weekend????? Read more...

I BEEN IN A RECESSION Y'ALL JUST CATCHING UP

Art work found here

I know that I have posted this before but Its too brilliant not to re-post again, and since I am the only one who reads this blog it matters not if I post it again.

Dear Uncle Sam:

Hi, it's me the one you know as ***-**-****. I have worked in your system since I was the ripe age of 19 officially. I have had jobs that paid a wage that wouldn't even keep a well fed pooch alive let alone a person with financial responsibilities. You see Uncle Sam I have tried my hardest to do right, work, be a responsible citizen and pledge my allegiance to my country even when I think you're wrong I still would just shrug and chop it up to America being America. I thought we had some type of understanding I would work my way up the pay scale and you would raise my wages due to a cost of living increase. Some where along the lines though Uncle Sam you failed me. You wrote books and legislation's on freedom, and democracy, you said give us your hungry and poor and we will clothe and feed them we will welcome you with open arms because we are America and that is our duty and we do it proudly.

Well Uncle Sam I am pissed off because I am American born and bred but I can't pay not a one of my bills because I can't find a job that will hire me with a wage rate that will allow me to keep up with the cost of my expenses and the cost of living in southern California. I own that I have made financial missteps but no worst then the wheffa who runs up her charge card on gucci, and prada. Actually my mistakes don't even amount to anything that huge, but I digress. I have not used the best of judgment at times but to repeatedly deny me work thus not allowing me to better my situation and pull myself up by my bootstraps is that not a blatant mockery of what America stands for? How can I better my situation if I can't get a job paying decent wages due to my current FICA score? I am stuck in the catch 22, I have gotten sucked into this downward spiral and I am stuck at the bottom and I am caught in the drainpipe called despair. What about me have I not be a loyal citizen? Have I not warranted your care, or help? Have you not seen me broken and beaten down by my financial circumstances? What would you have me do? Prostitute my body? Sell drugs? Rob and steal? After I take one of these alternative methods of living into consideration and I happen to get caught by your boys in blue Johnny law and they throw me under the penal system and give me life because I can't afford a high profile lawyer to plead my case what then Uncle Sam?

At this point in my life I just want simple things I want to be able to maintain a well paying job, one that will allow me to pull myself out of the financial bind that has become my resting place, I want to be able to live on my own with having to worry about where my next meal is coming from or if my lights and gas will be turned off. I want to be a productive member of society but I am being penalized because I can't afford to pay my bills and have made some poor financial choices in my life. I am now not a worthy candidate to be hired because according to employers who run a background check and see a poor credit history/score they say it speaks to my trustworthiness and therefore my credit score says that I could be considered untrustworthy around sensitive information, that I am susceptible to bribes, that I may commit fraud using someone else's information etc. In actuality I have never even stole so much as a piece of bubblegum, nor would I ever steal because if I was a thief I wouldn't be poor I would be rich, if I had no integrity I would be a winner because people with no integrity do whatever it takes to make that almighty dollar, they bend the truth, they use "creative" money management, they do whorish things to get ahead in life, suck a little dick, put out porn tapes, write about extramarital affairs, sleep with their bosses to get ahead etc. So what would you advise me to do Uncle Sam if no one will hire me for anything what recourse do I have? I am at the whim of the world I can't even pay my cellphone bill and yes that will go on my credit also, my bank account is also overdrawn and yes that will go on my credit also and the fun just keeps going.

I just want to say thank you for thinking of me when you passed these laws that made it virtually impossible to improve upon my financial situation, thank you for valuing people from other countries better than you value your native sons and daughters. Thank you for not allowing a single black women who has no kids to be eligible for any kind of aid or benefits because you don't consider her destitute enough. If anyone were to ask me where the greatest place in the world is to live I would truly be at a lost for words because right now my life is fucked up and you don't give a shit but yet you say I shouldn't be lazy, and trifling, pushing out babies and putting them on the counties dime. Yet when I don't do that I can't get any financial help so Thank you Uncle Sam for being that uncle that rapes me in the basement and robs me of my dignity repeatedly. I am your least favorite Niece, the forgotten and the destitute yet you want me to believe in you, care about you, work towards a common goal and do my part. Why not just give me my own BET reality show you can call it a "broke black bitch with no whip and no chips" or how about "Shuckin' and jivin' coon time for that prime time dime" or "America's next baby momma with three different baby daddies who all have to go on Maury and none of them are still not the father" I digress. You have to wonder about a country that rewards stupidity, turns a back to everyday american's with real financial needs, but makes instant stars out of women who use there wombs as a revolving door for romper room. If this world isn't fucked up and backwards then I must not having my thinking in order.



Signed your least favorite, never thought of native niece

God Bless America..... Read more...

LOVE IS THE GREATEST

You know its funny how the spirit works...today a lot of things have been heavy on my mind and working in my spirit and this is where it led me. It's a scripture I keep reading and it works it way deeply into my spirit time and time again. But it is a shame when people who have been associates of yours for some time can't even tell that you are a christian...that disturbs me deeply. I was raised in the church, I was in every choir, usher, youth function that there was. I really need to go back to that foundation just for myself...anyway the real purpose of this blog is to spread knowledge and to spark conversation and cause one to think...I hope I have at least done that much even a little...please enjoy the scripture and let it sink in your spirit and carry you through the week.

Love Is the Greatest

1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.

11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.[c] All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

New Living Translation (NLT)

Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers.

Scripture found on BIBLEGATEWAY.COM Read more...

BEAT& SKEET VS. WIFEY TYPE YOU CHOOSE

First and foremost well all new and old readers & lovely followers it does my old cantankerous soul good to see that my follower count is finally creeping up its never about quantity always about quality, so I would rather grow slow instead of shooting up fast that means you are in it for the long haul as readers. Enough mushy let's get straight to the meat!

Proverbs 18:22 (New Living Translation)

22 The man who finds a wife finds a treasure,
and he receives favor from the Lord.

In case you are interested in reading the scripture that describes a A WIFE OF NOBLE CHARACTER of course if you want to read the scripture just click on the words.

I know my last post was about sex but I got to really thinking about it and turning things over in my mind about it and I got some more stuff I wanted to talk about involving sex and since this is the month of black history and valentines day I'm going to keep my love/sex series going so leave your opinions and thoughts because I value learn and grow from the constructive opinions of my readers and random passer-bys.

Ladies and gentlemen if you happen to read this blog I know you should know be familiar with the term Beat and Skeet™ if you're going to use the term please reference THE 78 MS. J thanks. Anywho I know this debate has been going on since Eve bit the apple and Adam threw her under the bus for it punk will a woman who has sex with a man on the first date brand her in the eyes of said man a HOE, ladies this one is a no brainer, I'm sorry this is the way it is and has been for centuries and unless society suddenly overnight erases everything about the way men and women interact with each other and the double standards that are held in society this particular standard is written in stone on the wall of date rules, then yes if you let him Beat and Skeet™ you on the first date you just went from nice girl to freak in 0.2 seconds and there is no coming back from that you won't be seen as wifey material, you will be the chick he calls after the club so he can slide through.

I believe that people have forgotten that you CAN NOT separate your spirit from your mind, emotions and feelings. Every time you lay down with someone you are sharing more than just a nut you are exchange life forces, there is a reason why men and women are built the way that they are. Sex is not meant to be recreational its meant for a much deeper connection I don't think a lot of people understand that. Every person that you sleep with you take into yourself their life force their energy, their fluids, we are human beings made up of flesh, blood, organs and spiritual energy and that gets exchanged every time you have sex with someone. That is a serious thing and in this day and age it is taken way to lightly.

Now I know many women who say if they are feeling someone they should be able to just give it up and let the dude hit that the first time they meet/go out and still be seen as decent women, the truth is ladies we are the thinkers, the ones who are emotional, and yes as outdated as it may seem or you want it to be we are the holders of our own virtue! So if you let a dude hit it the first time/day you guys hang out/have a date then yes you will be branded a hoe. Now if you are not looking for a man/long term relationship/marriage and you just like testing penis and mattresses out then by all means girl do you (please use condoms birth control and get regularly screened for STD's HIV/AIDS) This is for the ladies that are trying to be seen as marriage material not for those who just want to have "fun".

Now I have to be completely honest with you, I know realistically in this day and age nobody is waiting until they get married to have sex, but when you do wait a decent amount of time and then you eventually end up having sex does it wreck the relationship or take it to the next level and after you do that how much longer then should it take for him to want to wife you? What if you put your best freak nasty moves on him but he doesn't wife you, and the relationship breaks up then what? Have you then sold your virtue to the highest bidder? I understand that not everyone you date/have a relationship with is going to be marriage material for you but if you keep sleeping with all these different people...doesn't it take some of the specialness and sacredness out of the act of sex and intimacy? If you have done all your finest tricks with everyone before you get married what do you have left? Maybe its just me...but these are some of the questions that go through my mind. This is probably why I haven't tripped over not really having anyone in my life because I know eventually we are going to come to this road and to me sex has become overrated and tired. It has been whored and exploited to no ends until we are desensitized to it and it shouldn't be that way it should be new fresh and pleasant not old stale and unsatisfying but I digress.

If you are a long term reader by now you should already know how I feel about just jumping in the bed with any and everybody, you have to pace yourself and you have to value yourself you can't throw your pearls before swine and think that the swine is going to appreciate them it just doesn't work that way. We need to tell our daughters, nieces, sisters, sister-friends, and all the women in our lives that being a woman is a hard job and yes as much as you want to be free from restrictions there are rules to this thing called life. As we get older we are able to sift through the lies, and the messages that are filtered through the media and we should be able to recognize the truth, even though the world is full of people having sex it does not make it so for those of us who are really in the dating trenches. Yes we all have our set backs but ladies anything worth having is worth working for, if he doesn't have to work to get it then in his mind you lose a lot of your shine and value. You don't even have to take my word for it ask your fathers, brothers, cousins, the men in your life that will tell you the truth, or just watch the following videos.

VIDEOS that are hitting on realness:





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THE FIRE INSIDE

Dear God:

I know that many would like to believe that you sent Obama to deliver us from ourselves but...he is one man. He can't single handily change the world and redress all the wrongs that have been heaped upon the heads, backs, and necks of black people. There is no magic marker that can color over the pain of years of oppression, rejection and systematic oppression. I hear people of color now saying since Obama is in the white house we now have no excuses like overnight we have become more than just rappers, basketball players, hoodrats, chicken heads, singers, dancers, and entertainers in the eyes of the world. I know many believe that money changes your color but I'm sorry to burst your bubble you're still a nigger but just with money and NO CLASS!

I know many would like to believe that we have finally reached that mountain top and it is so easy to lay that burden down and believe that finally the last is now first, but Dear God help them to understand that in this society when one turns a blind eye to the past and pretends that it never existed it just becomes a wound that never heals, it simply festers. When a wound festers it stinks, and right now God the wound is funky! Black life still is not counted as precious and is still seen as being expandable, I have three brothers and every night I pray for their safety because I know if a white man with a badge and uniform chooses to snuff out their life he will and it will be deemed necessary force and he will be allowed to walk the streets free while another black mans blood cries out to you from the ground.

I'm tired God, I'm tired of being angry and having to explain why I'm angry, why I'm frustrated, why I'm tired why I just want to hide in my house and pretend that the world doesn't exist sometimes. I get overwhelmed by the appalling lack of knowledge of history and of self that the black youth has, they're too busy supermanning hoes and birdwalking to pick up a book and gain knowledge of self. I won't even start in on the adults my age and beyond who like to turn a blind eye to history. They have the that was then this is now attitude. I was always taught unless you know your past you are doomed to repeat it, but I guess I was the only one taught that. I know that everyone says that we are supposed to hold hands and sing we are the world and we should pretend to be color blind but I'm not color blind never have been, and I probably would have been glad to do that had my history been taught in school had the history of black folks been included in my curriculum thus making even the smallest pretense to include our contributions made in history then I wouldn't feel so jipped like I missed something but I guess we don't talk about that because it's not important at least not by societies standards.

I'm trying to understand God why the culture that black people slapped together, because all ties were severed with Africa when we were brought over here through that middle passage is constantly mimicked, and marketed as flavorful and fresh, but yet we get no recognition for the other contributions we have made in society except on UNICF commercials. Why is it that Puffy and Biggie are the biggest icons in black culture but the only thing they did was make music what else did they do? Why is B.I.G so important? In no way shape or form am I trying to diminish the mans talent but really God...besides rapping WHAT DID HE DO? I could go on and on but I won't because you sit high and you look low, and you already see what is going on and what the world is like. I figured since you are omnipresent and omnipotent then you probably read blogs as well.

Oh and God I know black life is not valued as highly as other races I get that, but apparently others like to pretend that they don't and that's fine, they say ignorance is bliss I guess because I don't live in pretense I am INTENSE but I digress can you please stop the gratuitous snuffing out of black life, please God at the hands of others and ourselves. Black women already out number black men 7 to 10 or some off number but I know the ratio is in favor of men and not in favor of women. Anyway I just thought I would type somethings out for you to read and possibly think about. I appreciate you reading and I hope you read my blog often. If you could see fit also to change some things in my life this year for the better I would really appreciate that. I read and heard that faith moves mountains and all I need is a mustard seed of faith I'm trying everyday honestly!

P.S. Please see that Justice is served in the case of the white police officer who shot a handcuffed unarmed black 22 year old by the name of Oscar Grant in the bart station in Oakland Ca. if justice is not served for that young man...you already know about the fire inside that boils over when enough becomes enough...

In case you didn't read about what's going down in OAKLAND Don't let another black mans blood seep into the ground without giving it a voice.

Well Thanks so much for listening God and until we talk again...

Sincerely 78 MS.J



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