THE FIRE INSIDE

Dear God:

I know that many would like to believe that you sent Obama to deliver us from ourselves but...he is one man. He can't single handily change the world and redress all the wrongs that have been heaped upon the heads, backs, and necks of black people. There is no magic marker that can color over the pain of years of oppression, rejection and systematic oppression. I hear people of color now saying since Obama is in the white house we now have no excuses like overnight we have become more than just rappers, basketball players, hoodrats, chicken heads, singers, dancers, and entertainers in the eyes of the world. I know many believe that money changes your color but I'm sorry to burst your bubble you're still a nigger but just with money and NO CLASS!

I know many would like to believe that we have finally reached that mountain top and it is so easy to lay that burden down and believe that finally the last is now first, but Dear God help them to understand that in this society when one turns a blind eye to the past and pretends that it never existed it just becomes a wound that never heals, it simply festers. When a wound festers it stinks, and right now God the wound is funky! Black life still is not counted as precious and is still seen as being expandable, I have three brothers and every night I pray for their safety because I know if a white man with a badge and uniform chooses to snuff out their life he will and it will be deemed necessary force and he will be allowed to walk the streets free while another black mans blood cries out to you from the ground.

I'm tired God, I'm tired of being angry and having to explain why I'm angry, why I'm frustrated, why I'm tired why I just want to hide in my house and pretend that the world doesn't exist sometimes. I get overwhelmed by the appalling lack of knowledge of history and of self that the black youth has, they're too busy supermanning hoes and birdwalking to pick up a book and gain knowledge of self. I won't even start in on the adults my age and beyond who like to turn a blind eye to history. They have the that was then this is now attitude. I was always taught unless you know your past you are doomed to repeat it, but I guess I was the only one taught that. I know that everyone says that we are supposed to hold hands and sing we are the world and we should pretend to be color blind but I'm not color blind never have been, and I probably would have been glad to do that had my history been taught in school had the history of black folks been included in my curriculum thus making even the smallest pretense to include our contributions made in history then I wouldn't feel so jipped like I missed something but I guess we don't talk about that because it's not important at least not by societies standards.

I'm trying to understand God why the culture that black people slapped together, because all ties were severed with Africa when we were brought over here through that middle passage is constantly mimicked, and marketed as flavorful and fresh, but yet we get no recognition for the other contributions we have made in society except on UNICF commercials. Why is it that Puffy and Biggie are the biggest icons in black culture but the only thing they did was make music what else did they do? Why is B.I.G so important? In no way shape or form am I trying to diminish the mans talent but really God...besides rapping WHAT DID HE DO? I could go on and on but I won't because you sit high and you look low, and you already see what is going on and what the world is like. I figured since you are omnipresent and omnipotent then you probably read blogs as well.

Oh and God I know black life is not valued as highly as other races I get that, but apparently others like to pretend that they don't and that's fine, they say ignorance is bliss I guess because I don't live in pretense I am INTENSE but I digress can you please stop the gratuitous snuffing out of black life, please God at the hands of others and ourselves. Black women already out number black men 7 to 10 or some off number but I know the ratio is in favor of men and not in favor of women. Anyway I just thought I would type somethings out for you to read and possibly think about. I appreciate you reading and I hope you read my blog often. If you could see fit also to change some things in my life this year for the better I would really appreciate that. I read and heard that faith moves mountains and all I need is a mustard seed of faith I'm trying everyday honestly!

P.S. Please see that Justice is served in the case of the white police officer who shot a handcuffed unarmed black 22 year old by the name of Oscar Grant in the bart station in Oakland Ca. if justice is not served for that young man...you already know about the fire inside that boils over when enough becomes enough...

In case you didn't read about what's going down in OAKLAND Don't let another black mans blood seep into the ground without giving it a voice.

Well Thanks so much for listening God and until we talk again...

Sincerely 78 MS.J