SOME THINGS I REFUSE TO COMPREHEND

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TRUE LIFE LESSONS I WAS SENT HERE TO SHARE WITH Y'ALL

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MY GRATEFUL LIST, WHAT'S ON YOURS?

Today I thought to myself why not start a Grateful list, you may not be where you want to be or have what you think you should have but it could always be much worst. If you think this is a great idea feel free to pass it around the world, or don't lol freedom of choice always. So here goes my Grateful list.


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B.A.B.Y.M.A.M.A'S & THEIR MELODRAMA

Dear World:

I would like to address some things that people do that just really don't sit well with me. First and foremost most people in the world already have children out of wedlock that is a known fact you can see that just walking down the street or reading the celeb-whore-t blogs. Everyone screaming that the institution of marriage is outdated and the divorce rate is high but no one blinks twice about having children out of wedlock its what's hot in the streets.  It used to be a time when people where ashamed to have multiple kids with different last names now that shit is what's popping and its the societal norm these days. Its like a badge of honor to be called a babies momma and some women wear the title with pride if that is what makes your boat float so be it. So it would be in every one's best interest not to ask me or share with me anything concerning their baby momma/ baby daddy drama. Especially knowing that when anyone approaches me with bullshit I will most likely give you my opinion concerning the matter and if you don't want that then cool the less stupid shit you tell me the better off I am.

Otherwise you can not come to me telling me something that you did on your end that was stupid and silly and you're giggling about it thinking it's cool hoping that I will co-sign it and pat you on your back for it. I'm not the person to ask to cheer lead for you when you do dumb shit I don't care if we share the same familial ties or not I WILL NOT CO-SIGN DUMB SHIT which means I'm not going to side with you if you're wrong even  when dealing with the mess that is baby momma/daddy drama. Now hear me out, in private I am going to let you know that I think you are wrong but in public I will always defend you to the death but I can not sit by and watch people make mistakes because they all caught up in they emotions and anyone that knows me, knows that I don't beat around the bush I go straight to the heart of things I say my piece and I keep it moving. It's always easier for someone looking in on the outside to see the situation from every angle because we aren't directly involved in it therefore its black and white to us because our emotions aren't invested nor tangled up in the matter and no I don't have a sperm donor, no I am not a baby momma, and no I don't believe that I will ever put myself in the position to be one but wrong is still wrong and the only people that truly get hurt is the child in these situations.

Furthermore people often don't  realize and recognize when they are in the midst of  vicious destructive family curses and they keep repeating the steps that their mother, grandmother, aunts, and cousins have perpetrated and passed down to them through the generations until its like a ugly bedspread of hurt, shame, ignorance, loneliness, and single motherhood that keeps getting passed down like a family heirloom.Often people don't realize they are doing the exact same things that their parents are doing or that they have substituted the same kinds of romantic partners in their lives that are just like their parents. Many people don't see that they simply marry or have children with men and women who act exactly like their very own mothers and fathers.

Sometimes as women we let men come in and take our everything, we give too much and we expect so much in return and when we don't get what we expect then we become crazy, angry, bitter, hurt creatures that hurt other people because we feel like the promise that was made wasn't honored and now we have nothing so we tend to think because now the man that made those promises is gone and therefore a lot of times those feelings are turned on the ones around us. I can't help it if people didn't use forethought before they laid down and spread their legs and got to pumping and sweating and yelling out the name of a no good punk ass sperm donor of a man who sold you a dream and bullshit that you fell for hook line and sinker. I am not the one who made you go through 9 months of carrying a child that looks like him, has his last name, nor his mannerisms. Nor am I to blame for the fact that he married someone else and therefore you are left with just his child and your hopes of having that happily ever after where dashed upon the shores of reality. I had no hand in none of the above mentioned. I also can't help the fact that I try to be as rational as possible and think things through beyond just the moment I also happen to see things as either black or white I can't help that I don't deal in the gray areas of life that many people do. I don't like complications, drama, or bullshit in that regard I am quite simple and I try and stick to that as much as possible.I don't think because I speak my opinion that I should be made out to be a villain or an evil person just because I don't happen to agree with you on dumb ass decisions or life choices doesn't make me your enemy but if I have to play the devil in your life's melodrama because you choose to cast me in that rule then so be it.

I have always said over and over and over again that baby momma baby daddy drama is a plague upon society and it's just not cool. The shit that you have to go through just bringing a life into fruition and then on top of that you add into it extra drama who in their right mind would even let something like that go down? I mean we all know that when you lay down with someone you are taking a risk, you have to always be prepared for the chance that you might end up pregnant especially if you're fertile as all hell. I know that sex is recreational now and people are getting it in and not caring about the consequences so this will go over many of your heads and that's fine. However as a parent of a child that is not with the other biological parent people need to learn to take themselves out of the equation once the child is here. If the other DNA donor is not a criminal, a sex offender, on drugs, or homeless then you should let the child see that parent. Especially if the DNA donor wants to be involved in the child's life and if you were once a child in the same similar circumstance that your child is now in you should remember how you felt as a child when the parent you lived with pulled the same shit just because they could, just because that was the only way they could punish the other DNA donor because that person had moved on and left them with just a child.

There is consequences to every action, this is real life not a rehearsal what you do, how you act, how you behave, how you carry yourself often effects those around you. Stop acting like children and be the grown ass adults you all claim you are but then again some people got they asses so high up on their shoulder until it shuts off the flow of air to their brain and therefore their sense's are all cloudy. At the end of the day I'm glad I'm not a babies momma, I'm glad that I don't have to deal with drama, and I'm glad I don't have to go through what most of y'all go through and that's not taking shots that's just being real. Yes children are a blessing however to often children are now the direct result of two careless people who were in lust and then they had an accident.

It's just sad that children will always be the victim when silly ass immature adults start acting like what they do is ultimately in the interest of the child when in actuality you're lashing out because you weren't chosen to wear the last name of the DNA donor or they have moved on and left you behind. If you think that now your child is at risk of getting kidnapped by their DNA donor then why the hell would you lay down with said person in the first place? The people you choose to have sex with don't just get brand new all of a sudden you just chose not to see what you didn't want to see hindsight is always a motherfucker. It makes a person wonder did you really know whom you got involved with and if not shame on you there are always red flags and warning signs but when you're wearing rose tinted glasses all you see is the good things and not the bad. Get yourselves together and start acting like real women and mothers, Men and fathers instead of  thoughtless silly ass simple children pretending to be adults.

I can't apologize if it seems like I don't have tact its because I don't sugarcoat things I tend to just shoot from the hip with mines, but when you deal with people who live in glass houses, across from the river denial in a fantasy world called never never land you can't mince words because simple minds aren't able to grasp complex concepts so I dumb it down so they can get it.

There it is folks I hope you all enjoy your Sunday and I hope everyone has a decent week. Later's.

P.S. I just finished the book Erotic City, it has an unbalanced baby momma in it that's why its included in the book section.

Here's y'all theme song enjoy:






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REAL-EYES-REAL-LIES(REALIZE REAL LIES) a.k.a. mind fucking

Hey ladies I've been under the radar but that doesn't mean I didn't think about my blog just means I wanted to come back with a strong clear and concise topic for your hungry minds so here it goes.
As a woman I know at one point you have heard if a man gets the mind then that ass will follow right?

Last night I bumped into a Y.A.T.( young and tender) is what I call the young boys specifically the 18-24 set ya know the cubs in cougar speak. Anywho I bumped into this y.a.t and of course he was talking what all y.a.t's talk about these days how he's ready to settle down and be with his one, how he is tired of dating all the wrong women, and that he wants to be with an older woman because (__________________) fill in your own y.a.t line and yada, yada, yada. While I was amused and giggled in all the right places and did the sensible you're only (_________) fill in the appropriate age of your y.a.t. spill and told him that of course he was too young to be looking to simply just hunker down with just one woman and start pushing out kids and dreaming of houses with white picket fences around them, all of that of course feel on deaf ears and he of course said he knows what he wants and he is ready for it and blah blah blah.

It made me get to thinking about another Y.A.T I had bumped into awhile back and how had I managed to get mind fucked really good especially since I was in a vulnerable place at the time when he came around. Fortunately for me it ran its course like a bad flu virus, and after a couple of days I bounced back like round ball more astute and a whole lot more aware of myself. Now no one likes to admit when they have been mind fucked but it happens to the best of us and I believe going through that will put you on guard for the next time you bump into a slick talking golden tongued y.a.t or any man young or old for that matter. Once you have been mind fucked and it has been brought to your attention then you will be able to wake up and (real-eyes-real-lies) meaning your eyes will be open to realize and recognize real lies being poured into your ear and set in your brain. If you have ever dealt with a man and he had "the gift" you might realize it right now as you read this or if you realized it a long time ago a man has probably mind fucked you into believing in him and you bought into the dream he sold you and whether you want to realize it or not, whether you allowed yourself to believe in his words and then realized right in the middle of dealing with him or even if you didn't see it until he smacked you brutally with the truth because he had found a better victim to replace you with at the end of his dealing with you, all he was saying was what he knew you wanted to hear and that's how he got you hook line behind and mind!

Sometimes I like to just go in a chat room and observe what people are talking about more often than not you get the women whining about how they put some man on a pedestal and how they were the best girl and they did everything right, they served hot plates of food and ass respectively and how they were good girls never passing out nookie to anyone else but their dudes but they got lied too, cheated on, abused, misused, mislead, and just fucked in more ways then one. What I often want to say to these misguided women is that you can't just automatically treat every man you deal with like he is a King, men have to earn their crowns. If you just treat every man like he is a King then you will quickly be burned out, mistreated, misused, every time, because EVERY man is not worthy of King treatment some just need a dog house and a leash. Find out what a man is about, his real worth before you start crowning him and putting him on a throne! Allow yourself time to get to know him and his intentions and if he is in a rush then he has a motive more often then not. Be smarter about your choices when dealing with men and relationships I just can't stress that point enough.

Right now in this society young boys especially the ones with nothing, no job, no car, and living at home are actively searching for an older woman to take care of them. These y.a.t's are going hard in the paint because they have nothing to lose but everything to gain by finding the right broad. They are looking for a place to lay their head, a place where they can watch a big screen, a place where they can get a home cooked meal, sex on the regular, their clothes washed, etc. See where I'm going with this? They think they are too grown to be living at home with their mommas but they still want to be taken care of therefore they set their sights on an older woman she is the perfect solution. She is close enough to being like his momma but he can still fuck her on the regular and he knows if his words are good enough he can sell this old broad a dream and come lay up at her house rent free and as long as he can control the situation with a mind fuck and some dick he can hang around and live off of her until the next chick comes around it's a mean ass hustle to say the least.

It's not just y.a.t's that do it all men do it BUT the y.a.t's are kicking ass in this department lately. Older dudes are being edged out but since they usually want younger women anyway it would seem to even itself out in theory at least... Now don't get me wrong y.a.t's are cute to play with but in reality they just don't stand the test of time and they are far to young, impetuous, and fickle because of their age. Now some women love a y.a.t. because they boost her moral, they have stamina (according to the cougars on my twit line that swear by them) and they don't usually come with a whole lot of emotional baggage because they haven't had that many relationships well real ones that is, but they do come with drama more often than not. Their maturity level usually displays itself sooner than later, and the ones that aren't about shit usually break under pressure quickly. Be especially careful of the y.a.t's/men in general that have that smooth like good aged cognac gift of gab, he will make your nerves bad and have you some where looking like a crack head on super crack even before he ever touches you. Hell the job is already done once he spits those sweet nothings in your ear and he tells you exactly what you want to hear you and you allow yourself to be swept up in what he is saying and it anchors itself firmly in your brain then you will be hooked but just like he hooked you he can just as easily unhook you and leave you high and dry as he rolls off into the sunset with his next victim I mean paramour no I really mean victim.

Of course with everything in life there is an exception to every rule but more often then not that exception is already taken. If you like dealing with y.a.t's then have at it sometimes they are hard to resist with their hard bodies, willing dicks, and freaky ass attitudes just be aware of the situation you are getting into and where it might lead you in the long run. But real relationships are hard work if a person doesn't have the wisdom, nor the experience, to carry a relationship fruitfully on their shoulders then how can you expect to build anything to last with them? I understand that age shouldn't be an automatic disqualifier so evaluate, evaluate, and evaluate some more before you subject yourself to any type of romantic connection with ANYBODY.

If you go into a situation with your eyes open and are willing to assume the risk and the eventual fall out then more power to you, but if you go in a situation totally blind, then you get what you pay for. Sometimes you have to bump your head to become smarter and to learn lessons but if you are a hard headed heffa and like the feeling of smacking your head against a brick wall time and time again you can't blame no one for the bruises on your forehead but yourself stop being a willing victim in your own demise in relationships or dealings with men period.

For the record I have nothing against y.a.t's some of them are real cute but really they just a whole bunch ado about nothing... Unless you find a Teacake and he came with drama! Y.A.T's are good for short term but if you thinking long term then you best bet is to try and find a male who's mind is beyond the 11th grade emotional-mental level (good luck with that).

(if you've never read their eyes were watching God you have missed a huge literary gem)And if the language in the book overwhelms you since it is in dialect then you can always just watch the movie with that sexy ass Michale Ealy in it.


The Movie:


The Book:















This movie is also excellent and a must see I caught it on PBS when it aired and it might give you something to think about when it comes to dealing with younger men but in general its a great movie a period film with an excellent cast.
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