THE PRE-COUGAR RULES

With several of the long time shacking up celeb-whore-t's getting married these past couple of months it got me to thinking why did it take so long for these couples to make it down the aisle and then it dawned on me the women in these relationships where older than their male counterparts several years older in fact. They got these dudes when they were young and had to essentially wait until the dudes grew up and were actually ready for marriage even though they had shacked up for awhile. I guess in a young cats mind playing house and actually giving a woman his last name is two different animals. I'm not pointing fingers nor laying blame this is just my Ah-Ha moment which led me to this post which led me to really give some thought to the Pre-Cougar Rules.

Now If you're already a Cougar then you already know the rules if not you will soon learn them if you are a pre-cougar and you are still trying to navigate the murky waters of being with a younger man then allow me to break it down for you the way I have come to see it.

The Disclaimer: This is how I seeing it breaking down for me if you know some other rules or if I leave anything out please feel free to let me know thanks.

Definition to me of a Pre-Cougar: A woman who is 28-35 that is attracted too or attracts nothing but younger men

A Regular Cougar: 36+

The Break Down Age wise Males:

18-21: These boys are mannish and they talk a great deal of shit. Now don't be fooled by the baby faces and the bird chest some of these y.a.t's* got their start by lying about their ages from the jump when they were 14 they were lying and saying they were 16, when they were 16 they were lying saying they were 18 etc, you see the pattern. These youngsters are in it to win it they go hard in the paint being with older women is their bread and butter, sometimes they are users, sometimes older women are what they are geniunly attracted too, and sometimes more often than not they are looking for a mother replacement. You have to tread lightly in this category but of course a guy this young is not looking for anything serious he might stay around longer than usual if he has it extremely good, ie a playstation, a place to lay his head, a car to drive, hot home cooked meals, and plenty sex, these things will keep the y.a.t* interested and loyal for a minute but eventually he will get bored, and he will get itchy feet and that's when the trouble starts up. So pre-cougars remember this age group is fun to play with but they aren't keepers, they are best for their stamina, hard-dick, and play time only.

22-25: Usually they are still mannish but since they have some road mileage on them by this age they are a little bit smarter, and their mouth game has been tried and tested which means they can take shit and turn it into cake and having you eating it out the palm of their hands, they know the right things to say including the marriage spill.  Now with these guys they will talk a good game and you might have a slim chance of marriage if you're looking for that but don't expect to date for a year and then start planning your wedding, you will either have to wait and see if he is sincere, which usually translates into waiting until he grows up if he stays around that long and you usually do this if you have the time to wait, in that waiting period you might end up with kids if you want them, and still no wedding but if your biological clock is ticking and you just want kids then this age bracket is your best bet. If you get a good y.a.t* then hopefully he has some schooling under his belt, a degree, a skill set other than being a rapper or producer, and if he has some hustle in him then he will take care of his kid(s) and it will be what it will be.

26-29: Now usually about this time the bloom for the y.a.t's* has faded a little bit but if they are hardcore attracted to older women they they will be setting their sights on women 36 and up, or they have aged while with their older women and now they are seriously ready to walk down that aisle, and within this age bracket they usually more or less have their shit together besides if you raised him since he was a cub he's already broken in, you've put in time and energy into him and this is when the pay off comes, they are more focused and they know what they want and they are trying to settle down and actually build a household.

Now there may be an exceptions to the rule every now and again but for the most part the break down  is pretty much standard in my opinion now if you know different then you are welcome to hit me up especially if you know something I don't or if you think I have missed a vital piece of info but other wise feel free to use this guide in your pre-cougar start up and happy and wise hunting.




*Y.A.T.: "Young And Tender" or "Young And Tasty" whichever you prefer. IF you're going to use my phrase just give me a shout out or link me thanks. Read more...

REAL-EYES-REAL-LIES(REALIZE REAL LIES) a.k.a. mind fucking

Hey ladies I've been under the radar but that doesn't mean I didn't think about my blog just means I wanted to come back with a strong clear and concise topic for your hungry minds so here it goes.
As a woman I know at one point you have heard if a man gets the mind then that ass will follow right?

Last night I bumped into a Y.A.T.( young and tender) is what I call the young boys specifically the 18-24 set ya know the cubs in cougar speak. Anywho I bumped into this y.a.t and of course he was talking what all y.a.t's talk about these days how he's ready to settle down and be with his one, how he is tired of dating all the wrong women, and that he wants to be with an older woman because (__________________) fill in your own y.a.t line and yada, yada, yada. While I was amused and giggled in all the right places and did the sensible you're only (_________) fill in the appropriate age of your y.a.t. spill and told him that of course he was too young to be looking to simply just hunker down with just one woman and start pushing out kids and dreaming of houses with white picket fences around them, all of that of course feel on deaf ears and he of course said he knows what he wants and he is ready for it and blah blah blah.

It made me get to thinking about another Y.A.T I had bumped into awhile back and how had I managed to get mind fucked really good especially since I was in a vulnerable place at the time when he came around. Fortunately for me it ran its course like a bad flu virus, and after a couple of days I bounced back like round ball more astute and a whole lot more aware of myself. Now no one likes to admit when they have been mind fucked but it happens to the best of us and I believe going through that will put you on guard for the next time you bump into a slick talking golden tongued y.a.t or any man young or old for that matter. Once you have been mind fucked and it has been brought to your attention then you will be able to wake up and (real-eyes-real-lies) meaning your eyes will be open to realize and recognize real lies being poured into your ear and set in your brain. If you have ever dealt with a man and he had "the gift" you might realize it right now as you read this or if you realized it a long time ago a man has probably mind fucked you into believing in him and you bought into the dream he sold you and whether you want to realize it or not, whether you allowed yourself to believe in his words and then realized right in the middle of dealing with him or even if you didn't see it until he smacked you brutally with the truth because he had found a better victim to replace you with at the end of his dealing with you, all he was saying was what he knew you wanted to hear and that's how he got you hook line behind and mind!

Sometimes I like to just go in a chat room and observe what people are talking about more often than not you get the women whining about how they put some man on a pedestal and how they were the best girl and they did everything right, they served hot plates of food and ass respectively and how they were good girls never passing out nookie to anyone else but their dudes but they got lied too, cheated on, abused, misused, mislead, and just fucked in more ways then one. What I often want to say to these misguided women is that you can't just automatically treat every man you deal with like he is a King, men have to earn their crowns. If you just treat every man like he is a King then you will quickly be burned out, mistreated, misused, every time, because EVERY man is not worthy of King treatment some just need a dog house and a leash. Find out what a man is about, his real worth before you start crowning him and putting him on a throne! Allow yourself time to get to know him and his intentions and if he is in a rush then he has a motive more often then not. Be smarter about your choices when dealing with men and relationships I just can't stress that point enough.

Right now in this society young boys especially the ones with nothing, no job, no car, and living at home are actively searching for an older woman to take care of them. These y.a.t's are going hard in the paint because they have nothing to lose but everything to gain by finding the right broad. They are looking for a place to lay their head, a place where they can watch a big screen, a place where they can get a home cooked meal, sex on the regular, their clothes washed, etc. See where I'm going with this? They think they are too grown to be living at home with their mommas but they still want to be taken care of therefore they set their sights on an older woman she is the perfect solution. She is close enough to being like his momma but he can still fuck her on the regular and he knows if his words are good enough he can sell this old broad a dream and come lay up at her house rent free and as long as he can control the situation with a mind fuck and some dick he can hang around and live off of her until the next chick comes around it's a mean ass hustle to say the least.

It's not just y.a.t's that do it all men do it BUT the y.a.t's are kicking ass in this department lately. Older dudes are being edged out but since they usually want younger women anyway it would seem to even itself out in theory at least... Now don't get me wrong y.a.t's are cute to play with but in reality they just don't stand the test of time and they are far to young, impetuous, and fickle because of their age. Now some women love a y.a.t. because they boost her moral, they have stamina (according to the cougars on my twit line that swear by them) and they don't usually come with a whole lot of emotional baggage because they haven't had that many relationships well real ones that is, but they do come with drama more often than not. Their maturity level usually displays itself sooner than later, and the ones that aren't about shit usually break under pressure quickly. Be especially careful of the y.a.t's/men in general that have that smooth like good aged cognac gift of gab, he will make your nerves bad and have you some where looking like a crack head on super crack even before he ever touches you. Hell the job is already done once he spits those sweet nothings in your ear and he tells you exactly what you want to hear you and you allow yourself to be swept up in what he is saying and it anchors itself firmly in your brain then you will be hooked but just like he hooked you he can just as easily unhook you and leave you high and dry as he rolls off into the sunset with his next victim I mean paramour no I really mean victim.

Of course with everything in life there is an exception to every rule but more often then not that exception is already taken. If you like dealing with y.a.t's then have at it sometimes they are hard to resist with their hard bodies, willing dicks, and freaky ass attitudes just be aware of the situation you are getting into and where it might lead you in the long run. But real relationships are hard work if a person doesn't have the wisdom, nor the experience, to carry a relationship fruitfully on their shoulders then how can you expect to build anything to last with them? I understand that age shouldn't be an automatic disqualifier so evaluate, evaluate, and evaluate some more before you subject yourself to any type of romantic connection with ANYBODY.

If you go into a situation with your eyes open and are willing to assume the risk and the eventual fall out then more power to you, but if you go in a situation totally blind, then you get what you pay for. Sometimes you have to bump your head to become smarter and to learn lessons but if you are a hard headed heffa and like the feeling of smacking your head against a brick wall time and time again you can't blame no one for the bruises on your forehead but yourself stop being a willing victim in your own demise in relationships or dealings with men period.

For the record I have nothing against y.a.t's some of them are real cute but really they just a whole bunch ado about nothing... Unless you find a Teacake and he came with drama! Y.A.T's are good for short term but if you thinking long term then you best bet is to try and find a male who's mind is beyond the 11th grade emotional-mental level (good luck with that).

(if you've never read their eyes were watching God you have missed a huge literary gem)And if the language in the book overwhelms you since it is in dialect then you can always just watch the movie with that sexy ass Michale Ealy in it.


The Movie:


The Book:















This movie is also excellent and a must see I caught it on PBS when it aired and it might give you something to think about when it comes to dealing with younger men but in general its a great movie a period film with an excellent cast.
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