When you go to target or any other store if you are searching for something you know where to go because the aisle are clearly labeled and the products are stocked on that aisle supporting the above label. If you need face cream or acne cream you're going to go to the aisle that is labeled health and beauty. You have a direction, you know what to look for, where to find it, and if you don't then you would ask a store employee who would point you in the right direction because he knows the lay out of the store and therefore will be able to point you in the direction you need to go.
My point is this when you label something, when you give it a title you know what it is. Words have power, sounds have power, they give definition where there was none before if you name something you know what to do with it and that situation will now most likely come with responsibilities and duties. When you become a parent (title) you understand that now you are responsible for a living being that is dependent on you and will need you indefinitely for the rest of their days. When you become an employee they give you a job title if you are a customer service rep you now what that entitles and in your new employee handbook your duties will be clearly outlined giving you direction and a point of reference as to what it is you will be doing on a day to day basis.
Let's be clear I'm well aware that someone can give you a title and still act single but the upside of that is if you see a person's actions not supporting their words then you reevaluate that situation. Not everyone is going to go by the rules you yourself govern your own self by and that's fine. If a person can't see eye to eye with you then you now have choices. You can decide to live in chaos and shambles or pursue harmony and well being. Do not let these boys masquerading as men dictate how you should interact with them. They will try and convince you to do what is in their best interest not yours. They want to have sex with you on their terms and they will do any and everything they can to achieve this goal. When they won't let you define what it is you're in or doing with them they can then justify their problematic behaviors.
Stop believing them when they tell you, you don't need a title. Everything needs a clear and concise definition. If we are just friends then I treat you as a friend, I don't sleep with my friends. If we are casual lovers then I know we aren't dating we are just hooking up when and if we want to have sex, if we are dating we are not having sex we are seeing each other and it is not yet exclusive this is the process of getting to exclusive. Girlfriend Means I now have a position in your life we are exclusive, we have met each others parents and friends, we are building towards a future goal be it marriage (ideal for me) or domestic partners or living together whatever your end game is as a couple. If more ladies and gentlemen stopped accepting this casual lazy way of drifting in and out of each others lives and put some effort into actually dating again life would be much smoother and simpler in my estimation but that's of course just my opinion.
