I had no hand in writing any of these questions but I decided to post them because they seemed like good questions and some people might forget to ask the pertinent stuff if they haven't already. It can be exciting getting married but if you want the marriage to last there is lots of leg work to do in the relationship first so if you or someone you know is getting married refer them to this post and past this list around it might help you before you make it down that aisle.
100
Questions to Ask Before You Get Married
Bethany
Grow of LoveTheGrows.com adapted from
Don’t
You Get Married Until You Read This! The Book of Questions for
Couples
by
Corey Donaldson
Sex/Romance/Love
If
we eliminated physical attraction from our relationship, what would
be left?
What
is the best way for me to show that I love you?
If
I put on weight, will it affect our sexual relationship? How?
Is
it important for you to know that I'm a virgin? Why or why not?
What
do I do that causes you to question my love?
What
turns you off sexually?
How
would our relationship be affected if for medical reasons we could
not have children?
Do
you think being in love means: (1) Never having to say you're sorry,
(2) Always having to say you're sorry, (3) Knowing when to say you're
sorry, or (4) Being the first to say I'm sorry?
The
Past
Which
childhood experiences influence your behavior and attitude the most?
Could
any feelings of affection and romance be revived if you met a
previous boyfriend/girlfriend even though you feel strongly committed
to me?
Is
there anything in your past I should be aware of?
What
did you dislike the most about your previous partners?
If
your past boyfriends/girlfriends listed your most negative
characteristics, what would they be?
Do
you keep letters and memorabilia from past relationships? Why or why
not?
Are
you comfortable continuing this relationship if there are things in
my past that I am not willing to share with you?
Have
you ever been involved in any criminal activities? What were they?
Did
your mother or father abuse each other or you in any way- sexually,
emotionally, or physically?
Have
you ever been able to overcome a bad habit? What was it?
Have
you ever been violent in past relationships?
Trust
Have
there been times when you were uncomfortable with the way I behaved
with the opposite sex? If so, when and what did I do?
What
do I do now or what could I do in the future that would make you
mistrust me?
Would
you be comfortable transferring all your money into my bank account?
Who
comes first, your spouse or your children?
Is
trust automatic until something occurs that takes it away, or does it
evolve over time?
Do
you trust me with money?
Is
it permissible for us to open each other's mail?
The
Future
How
are we different? Could this be a source of future conflict? Do our
differences complement each other?
Do
you anticipate maintaining your single lifestyle after we are
married? That is, will you spend just as much time with your friends,
family and work colleagues? Why or why not?
How
did your family resolve conflicts when you were growing up? Do you
approve or disapprove of that method? what will you change or not
change to resolve conflicts in your future family?
Is
there anything about marriage that frightens you?
Would
you prefer to live in the city, the country, or by the beach? Why?
If
I wanted to move away from our families for work, would you support
me?
How
would it affect you if I travel on my own frequently to (1) visit
family, (2) earn income, (3) pursue a hobby, or (4) deal with stress?
Suppose
we are experiencing trouble in our marriage. In what order will you
seek help from the following to resolve our conflicts: (1) divorce
lawyer, (2) your parents, (3) a brother or sister (4) a marriage
counselor, (5) me, (6) a church leader? Why?
How
will you support my hobbies?
How
do you feel about having our parents come to live with us if the need
arises?
Is
there anything you would regret not being able to do or accomplish if
you married me?
How
will we schedule holidays with our families?
Children
If
we are unable to have children, should we adopt?
Do
you anticipate raising our children (1) the same way you were raised
(2) completely differently from the way you were raised (3) a mixture
of both?
How
long would you like to wait before having children?
Other
than formal schooling, what types of education will our children get
and how will they receive them?
When
we have children, who will change the diapers, heat the bottles,
prepare the meals, do the housework, bathe the child, get up in the
middle of the night when a child is crying, take the child to the
doctor, buy clothing, and dress the child?
What
types of discipline would you implement to correct a child's or a
teenager's behavior? Were these practices you experiences or are they
new ones you have developed on your own?
Annoyances
If
I had bad breath or body odor or wear dirty clothes, will you tell
me? Should I tell you? Why or why not? How should we do it?
What
is nagging? Do I nag? How does it make you feel?
DO
you approve without reservation of the way I dress?
What
does my family do that annoys you?
Would
it bother you if I made body noises all the time, like passing gas or
burping?
Is
there anything you do in your line of work that I would disapprove of
or that would hurt me?
Do
you believe that you should stick with a marriage if you are unhappy
all the time?
When
do you need space away from me?
Communication
Whenever
we have difficult feelings about each other, should we (1) remain
silent, (2) say something as soon as the difficult feelings arise,
(3) wait a certain amount of time before raising the issue, or (4) do
something else? If so, what?
If
you always say you are going to do something but never do it, what is
the most effective way to bring this problem to your attention?
What
did you admire about the way your mother and father treated each
other?
What
is the best way for me to communicate difficult feelings about you so
that you are not offended?
Who
should know bout the arguments we have?
What
makes you not want to talk to me?
Do
you feel you could communicate with me under any circumstance and
about any subject?
Finance
What
justifies going into debt?
What
are all your current personal debts?
Do
you feel stress when facing financial problems? How do you deal with
that stress?
How
often do you use credit cards, and what do you buy with them?
How
should we prepare for a financial emergency?
Do
you feel that lack of money is a good reason not to have children?
When
our child is born, will he or she go to daycare or will one of us
stay home to take care of the child? Who will it be?
Will
we have a budget?
Who
will pay the bills?
How
do you feel about helping me pay my debts?
What
are your feelings about saving money?
Do
you prefer separate bank accounts or assets in different names? Why?
Miscellaneous
How
would you rank all the priorities in your life: work, school, family,
spouse, friends, hobbies, and church? Does your ranking reflect the
amount of time you spend on each?
Are
you closer to your mother or father? Why?
Do
you prefer a set daily work schedule or flexible work activities and
timetables?
What
do you fear?
What
influence, if any, do you believe my family should have on our
relationship?
Do
you believe that our parents should know our financial condition,
whether good or bad, just because they want to? How far should this
go?
What
are your views on pornography?
How
would you react if our son or daughter told us they were gay?
Do
you harbor any racial prejudice?
How
do you feel about having guns in our home?
Is
there anyone close to you who feels we should not get married? Why?
Should we this?
What
health problems do you have?
Have
you ever had any psychological problems?
When
you are in a bad mood, how should I deal with it?
Do
you like pets?
