If you haven't guessed by now then you ought to know that dating(for lack of a better term) in southern California is like kicking yourself in the ass repeatedly with some soccer cleats. But it might just be me because I am a bit old fashioned when it comes to my approach and thing concerning men and anything relationship wise. I am simply tired of clowns in men suits shit is ridiculous the art of dating and courtship has been killed and replaced with utter bullshit. I really can't get with the bullshit that passes for male and female interaction these days. Its pure unadulterated bullshit painted in modern justifiability and passed off as the hauteness. Females have lowered their standards so much so that a chicken dinner, or super-sizing it will more than likely get a fella some ass and head. You don't even have to pronounce the chicks name right and you can still get some ass in this day and age. Its sad and its getting worst because no one is teaching young dudes in this day and age how to treat a woman, and no daddies around to teach their daughters how to be treated and respected by males. It's anything goes in these streets, parents are dropping the ball left and right when it comes to telling their daughters and sons how to treat each other because a lot of the adults don't know how to treat each other and they haven't figured it out for themselves shit is sad and disheartening.
So when a dude comes across a female that has requirements and standards he goes into shock. He's intrigued for a minute but when he finds out that he has to actually invest time, interest, resources and get to actually know her well enough to go out with her then he quickly drops the pursuit of said chick and moves on to the next much easier target. I don't know if in other states its like this but in Cali it most definitely is. Plus add to the fact that the main dudes in Cali either fall into four major groups.
Group 1: Upper middle class which means they are making decent money, they have a degree, they either drive a Benz, Lexus, or a Bentley, they shop at the Beverly center and they either live in the valley, weho, or ladera heights, but does not even date black women not at all, or if he does she has to be petite fairs-skinned, long hair, and as unblack acting as possible. But most likely they stick to Caucasian, Asian, and Hispanic women period no exceptions. They usually are the men who frown or look at "common" black women as ghetto trash who they say are, loud, overweight, and domineering. The funny and sad part is these very same men WILL and HAVE married women fresh out the trailer parks, and even very obese and unattractive white women but these very men have no problem upgrading these women but for a black women in the same situation he is very turned off condescending and callous makes you wonder about the psychosis of this very same man.
Group 2: Gay, down low, hood-down low dudes this group should be self explanatory.
Group 3: men with emotional baggage one chick hurt them one time and now they don't trust any women. They quick to flip out on you emotionally over nothing. Little grown boys dudes who think they got it going on but they haven't a clue how to treat a women not even the essentials. But they usually got more than one kid and multiple baby mommas but have trouble maintaining a long term relationship. The word commitment freaks them out and they have nothing to show for their existence except an xbox 360, some Jordan's, and a car with a stereo system and rims on it in his momma name.
Group 4: the rest of the men, they want a quick lay. They want you to send them naked, or "tease" pictures digitally they want you to phone sex them and all this shit within the first meeting of them. They try and convince you that they have the dick of life and when you shut their asses down they then become what I call fringe dudes, they wait around on the edges and every blue moon they speak/contact you/call/email or see you in the street and they show interest enough again to find out if your standards and requirements have lowered or weakened so they can then try and get what they wanted in the first place which is ass and when you still the same they fall back to the edges and will show up again when they single its what they do.
People often espouse don't look for love, okay but let me tell you people something I don't think there is a way to look for love, love is an emotion one that can be faked the most you can do is seek out or try and find what you deem is a quality person to be in your world or you can be passive and just let whatever is interested in you come your way. Now when you go the passive route you will get any and everything I know because I never ever approach men so what I end up with is chump city. Men who are just raggedy, shamelessly tired and trifling. Since these men are already down and out anything they get is a bonus and they have nothing to lose because they had absolutely nothing in the first place. Now with that being said there has to be a middle ground, I don't think being proactive in your romantic endeavors makes you desperate it makes you forward thinking and efficient. If you sit around and wait for love then it may never find you, and since men aren't really about love these days it would behoove you to ask the pertinent questions and then move on if said person is not what you may be seeking. That way you don't waste your time stepping out with a kentucky fried chump who just wants to go to burger hut and then slide between your sheets beat, skeet, and then delete you.
I am so tired of the men in southern cali beyond tired actually. Just once I wish I could meet a guy that was about business, and we clicked on all levels. Versus all these hit and misses I always encounter. I understand we are in hard times but if you absolutely don't have the money to date then you need to state that from the beginning and let the person you digging see if they are willing to work with you. Don't just assume that the person you going out with even likes you well enough to want to even do that with you. Because in order for a person to spend time with you then they have to be genuinely interested and not just wanting to simply go out just to be going out there is a difference!
Ladies word of advice raise your standards, stop settling for kentucky fried chumps, stop hopping in the bed with these niggas cause they got slick talk, and stop just taking bullshit. Make him work for it, he should be doing basic gentlemanly things, opening all doors car included, he should pay for the first dinner at a nice place applebee's and chili's does not count, he should come see you dressed decently if his drawers are showing send his ass packing, his car should be washed, or if you're driving and your car is dirty he should at least offer to wash it for you or fill the tank up, check the oil, check the tire pressure, damn do something besides ride in the passenger seat. If you don't set standards then you will get anything and when you get just anything then you aren't allowed to complain!
Fellas...sigh you're a whole other post smh its way to much I need to say to y'all about this shamockery you all call dating these days smh.