Look this post will not be a happy one I'm not in a good place. I can't sugarcoat anything for your delicate emotions basically I've hit the bottom and I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired of being everything to everyone but myself and when it comes time to have someone in your corner their is no one.
I had to kill the only being that loved me unconditionally my dog. I had to make the hard decision to put him to sleep. HE was in so much pain and I didn't have the money to fix him so I had to do the humane thing and have him put down. He had maggots feasting on his insides and shit MAGGOTS... he couldn't barely stand he was so bad off. I don't think anyone understands how hard it is to make the decision to kill a pet they have had for 10yrs. It makes you understand that you truly can't have kids because if they get sick and you have no money then what? You can't kill your kids, well you shouldn't be killing your kids but assholes do it all the time.
I wish I was someone else a different me a different ethnic group, something it truly is greener on the other side because on my side its all black right now...and since I'm friendless this is where I turn to sad ain't it.