You ever try and paint a pretty picture with ugly colors? Or how about you ever try and drive a truck that's stuck in the mud uphill? How about you ever try and lift a 100 pounds with a weak back and no help? Anyone feel where I am going with this??? I don't know about anyone else I can only answer for myself but seriously 30 is a pivotal age no more sitting around counting the days. There are certain biological factors that start to come into play and if you have had biology or even developmental psych you understand what I mean. At 30 the body starts to say ok sis either move it or lose it. By 30 you really need to decide if you are going to have some kids and if so you need to get a move on. The older you get the more at risk your pregnancy becomes, and your age and health directly effect your unborn child.
Halle Berry is a prime example there was a story in the news when she was pregnant about her being upset because her prenatal chart said she was a high risk pregnancy and that is true she was a high risk pregnancy. Especially after 40 you run the risk of:
Pregnant patients of advanced maternal age (AMA) are at increased risk for a multitude of pregnancy complications, including gestational diabetes mellitus, preeclampsia, placenta previa and intrauterine growth restriction. All of these conditions have been associated with a higher rate of stillbirth.
These are some of the risk associated with having children late but of course if an older woman is healthy and has good health care her risk are significantly lower but there are still issues that one has to consider long and hard when waiting later in life to have a child heaven forbid you want more than one after 40. Something to think about also is having a child in your 40's means that well into your 60's is when the child will be in their 20's it is something really to think about. You can't just up and decide one day that you want kids it shouldn't be that way. Children shouldn't be an afterthought or an accident, or a condom busted consequence. I have learned that you can't think about just the moment you have to order your life and shoot for your goals. Hindsight is always a bitch but you can't undo time you have to press forward and step lightly. I write these posts with the best intention if I can give someone pause to think about things that is going on right now, especially with young African American women and the choices that we tend to make if I can give one something to think about and she is better for it then I have help someone. If I can travel the road and save you from the same pitfalls I fell in please allow me to do it, no need for both of us to end up broken and bruised by falling in the same life traps.
I don't profess to tell women how they should live nor how they should think but at the threshold of 30 my thinking became a whole lot different and things to me begin to become different they changed and become clearer life decisions become more focused and of course priorities shifted. The purpose of this blog is really to see how life defines itself with me being 30, I can't speak for no one else but 30 is a threshold. I'm not even looking at my 20's anymore I have closed the chapter on them and I am focusing on the future and the long unforeseen road ahead of me. Considering the current climate of relationships in the BPYT community adoption is looking like the way to go *sigh*
http://www.africanamericanadoptionsonline.com/index.html
information for at risk older pregnancies came from: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/02/070210170332.htm
i feel you. biologically the prime age for children is between 18 and 28. but in our society you cant finish high school, find a good secure gov't job, and a $50,000 house like our parents did back in the day. these days by the time people finish school, stabilize school loans, find a job and some security, you are still penny pinching.
ReplyDeleteadding kids to that equation makes it even harder so alot of people these days are waiting until they are older. i know many women, espeically professional white women that have kids in there 30's and 40's. the main thing is taking care of yourself. also, its good to get out and enjoy your life before you make that LIFETIME commitment to be responsible for someone else. i want to travel and do alot of things. i am going to make sure i take in as much life as possible before i bare children.
no smoking, cut back on fried foods and if you are overweight like many of us sistas, losing the weight before pregnancy is the way to go.
even if and when i have kids, i may still want to adopt because there is a shortage of black families compared to all the black children in the foster care system that need loving black parents in a stable home.
dont rush lady, once you stabilize your financies, have a good mate and a nuturing home, a baby will be the icing on the cake.
@dulce I know but medically though I don't know if I will still be able to have kids as I get older my body is going through weird unnormal changes, and I understand what you saying my head understands my emotional side though wants what it wants. So many people having kids that aren't thinking about all those factors they just pushing them out and I don't want to be selfish like those people but I think with having kids it really does come down to what the emotions want. In my head is logic in my heart and spirit is a different matter.
ReplyDeletebetween the ages of 22 and 24 my body was feigning for a baby. it was emotional and biological too i think. i know our emotions get the bets of us sometimes, but just ride out the storm. as much as you write about what's wrong with the family or lack of family structure today, i know you would want bring your kids into a healthy situation.
ReplyDeleteYour right and I know this of course just wish things were different in my life but what can you do. I am too conscience of being a babymomma to willingly participate in any such foolery but sometimes...I think about it.
ReplyDeleteHalle has diabetes too, so she should have known that she would automatically be considered High Risk. Honey Boo!
ReplyDeleteOh and 78 - I gotta keep my bags packed - you one moving sista, lol
lol, this my first move but glad you stopped by pam.
ReplyDelete